I know I've been awful with updates recently, but I've kind of hit a wall of uncertainty with my stories. Sorry, and thank you for your patience. Hope you enjoy the update lads.


Sometimes Ziva missed working in the field. She left the MCRT for a good reason; one that she believed was justified. It would have simply been too hard for her and Tony raise a child if they both had to work long hours. Not to mention the fact that both Lia's parents would have been placed in relatively frequent jeopardy. Luckily, when she was pregnant, Vance offered her a position as the head of the international relations department. This put her linguistic skills to good use and was pretty much all desk-bound.

Leaving Gibbs' team was one of the hardest things she'd ever done, but it was still worth it. She had plenty of time to spend with her daughter, and it meant the little princess didn't have to spend too much time at day-care. Lia was as social as her father, so it was only healthy for her to spend some time with other kids, but there was still a part of Ziva that felt a little bit uneasy whenever someone she hadn't known and trusted for a long time was responsible for looking after her. It was something she would have to get over one day, but not quite yet.

On this particular Thursday afternoon, she found herself taking a familiar ascent in an equally familiar elevator. She hardly ever got off on this floor anymore but, as the metal box came to a halt with a soft ding, she found herself expecting to walk out and see the mischievous DiNozzo smile beaming at her from across the bullpen. For years her time spent in this large room would consist of teasing her partner from the opposite desk, standing up for McGee as he was mercilessly tormented, and generally keeping herself ready to spring into action if their hard-ass boss turned up. She felt a slight pang in her chest as the happy wave of nostalgia hit her. So much had changed, and she kind of missed the old days.

Did she feel any regret, though? As the little girl standing at Ziva's feet looked up at her with wide eyes and an excited smile, the answer to that question was easy. Every change was for the better. She subconsciously squeezed Lia's hand a little tighter as warmth spread through her chest.

''Uncle Gee!''

Lia pointed in the direction of young agent- or rather, the senior field agent- sitting at Tony's old desk. And, sure enough, there sat McGee. He was busy having what looked like a rather heated conversation on the desk phone. After they took a few more steps in his direction, he noticed their arrival and the previous frustration marring his features disappeared briefly. It made way for a quick smile aimed at Lia, before whatever his fellow conversationalist said over the phone brought it back almost immediately.

Just as the two DiNozzo's arrived at one end of the bullpen, Gibbs swept in from the other, his gaze practically burning a hole in the file her was looking down at. ''McGee where the hell is…'' He trailed off after noticing the two curly haired guests standing in front of him.

''Hello.'' Ziva greeted with a smile.

Lia, more accustomed to seeing his softer side, ran at him with raised arms. ''Gibbs! Gibbs!''

He cracked a rare, but warm smile before abandoning his paperwork and crouching down to return her enthusiastic hug. Ziva felt a familiar sense of relief and pride at the way Gibbs always treated her daughter. During her pregnancy, she had let herself worry that he may not want anything to do with the DiNozzo-David spawn. It took all of about two seconds after he'd first met the new-born baby for her to realize how ridiculous her anxiety had been. He was always good with kids, and Lia was no exception. If anything, he was like a grandfather to her. He just seemed to have the unconditional love for the child that you would only expect to see from an actual blood relative. Both she and Tony were immeasurably grateful for that.

''Hey, Kiddo.'' He said softly into Lia's hair. ''Wasn't expecting to see you here.''

She pulled back with a toothy grin. ''Uncle Gee's gonna help us talk to Daddy.''

His eyes rose to meet Ziva's for a second. ''Really?''

''Uh-huh.'' Lia nodded. ''We gotsa see him on the little TV 'cause he's really far away.'' She explained with a serious expression.

Gibbs' smile returned. ''That's right.'' He praised sincerely. ''Do you miss him?''

Her head bowed before she nodded again, this time more slowly. ''Yes. I wanted to go with him.'' She murmured quietly.

He looked up again, and Ziva sent him a knowing look. ''He needs you to be here to take care of your mom.'' He said, once again addressing the little girl. ''You can't both be really far away from her.''

He was damn right about that. Ziva found it hard enough without Tony being in the house, and couldn't imagine how empty it would be without him and Lia. She couldn't help but smile to herself, though, at Gibbs' chosen explanation. It was the exact same one Tony used before he left. Both men may have just been trying to humor the young child, but there was a certain truth to their words. In a way, Lia did take care of her. She gave her purpose, drive, something- someone- to fight for. With Tony being painfully absent, their daughter was the only thing keeping her grounded as she helplessly waited for his safe return.

Gibbs looked back to her with a slightly confused look. ''You take the time off Vance offered?''

''Yes.'' She replied with a nod. ''I still have one week off, which given the circumstances, is quite well timed.''

''Look, just send me the footage, okay? I don't want to ask again.''

McGee's rather angry voice travelled across the bullpen, before he slammed the phone down with an eye roll. ''God, I hate security guards.'' He muttered under his breath. After a few seconds of typing, he abruptly realized that three pairs of eyes were staring at him in amusement. ''Oh,'' He started, rising to his feet. ''Hi, guys. Sorry about…that. Been dealing with this guy all day. He really is a stupid son of a bi-''

He cut himself off, mentally noting the presence of a young kid. More importantly it was a young kid belonging to Ziva, who had her eyebrow raised at him in question.

''Big…fat idiot.'' He finished with wince. ''He's a stupid son of a big fat idiot.''

Lia giggled, Gibbs sighed and Ziva frowned in confusion.

''You're funny Uncle Gee!'' Lia told him after her laughter died down.

He smiled down at her. ''Thanks…I guess.''

''Yes, very amusing.'' Ziva agreed. ''You still need to work on how you moderate your language, though.''

''And how quickly you get me those damn surveillance tapes.'' Gibbs added in typical fashion.

Ziva sent a glare in her old boss' direction. ''Gibbs!'' She admonished.

His eyes narrowed as he looked back at her. ''What?''

''Bad word.'' Lia informed him with a stern point of the finger.

He glared slightly at the little girl, but Ziva could still see the amusement in his eyes. ''I mean darn surveillance tapes.'' He corrected.

''Momma punches Daddy when he says bad words.''

He looked up at Ziva in with a raised eyebrow. ''She means pinch.'' She corrected hastily.

The corner of his mouth twitches. His version of a teasing smile. ''Are you gonna pinch me, David?''

She smirks back at him. ''It's DiNozzo, remember? And, no, I would not dream of it.''

His amused expression doesn't last too long, though. It is replaced by genuine surprise after Lia reached over and squeezed his shoulder through his sports jacket. There was no doubt this was her version of a pinch, and Ziva's mouth fell open in shock. If her daughter was old enough to truly know Gibbs in 'boss mode', then such a move would never even be contemplated. The infamous steely stare was aimed at Lia, and Ziva, along with her old colleague beside her, could only watch on in fascination.

''Liana DiNozzo, did you just pinch me?''

It was hard to tell if he was actually mad or just putting it on. Either way, the little trouble maker didn't seem to care. ''No.'' She lied, a familiar grin spreading over her little face.

His eyes narrowed slightly, but this time a tiny flash of a smile tugged at his mouth. ''I'm pretty sure I just saw you.''

''Nu-uh.'' She denied, shaking her head.

''You're a bad liar.''

She giggles, apparently unfazed, before looking up to her mother. ''That's what Daddy says.''

Ziva smiles back fondly. ''That is because it's true, tatelah. And don't pinch people, baby.''

Lia turns back to Gibbs with a serious expression. ''But I can never lie to Momma.'' She informs him. ''Daddy gets really mad.''

The veteran team leader nods in understanding. ''And what about me? Can you lie to me?''

Her brow furrows as if she's trying to remember something. ''No one can lie to Gibbs.'' She recites in a deep imitation, presumably of Tony. ''Ever.''

''Well, that's a true statement if I've ever heard one.'' McGee said, making his way over to his old desk before placing a file on it. ''Where's Wilson, boss?''

Gibbs finally stands back up, apparently forgetting the whole pinching incident. ''Sent him and Jess to Quantico.''

''To talk to the CO again?''

''Yup.''

''Think we missed something?''

''Maybe.''

''You think he's holding something back?''

''Definitely.''

McGee opened his mouth, and his frown suggested another question was imminent, but no words came out in the end. A small hand tugging lightly at his trouser leg interrupted his line of inquiry. He looked down at Lia, whose wide brown eyes held a small glint of excitement. She may have been a DiNozzo, but it was always obvious that McGee had a soft spot for the little girl. In fact, everyone in the NCIS family seemed to. Another development that Ziva was more than grateful for. Like now, for instance, her old coworker's features softened noticeably as he looked down at Lia in an obvious indication of affection.

''Uncle Gee, can we see Daddy now?''

Realization dawned on his face. ''Oh, yeah. Sorry, forgot about that.'' He stuttered. ''Of course you can, sweetie.''

Ziva took a moment to consider his busy mid-case schedule. ''Only if it is not too much trouble, McGee.''

He waved his hand dismissively. ''No, not at all.''

''Just don't take too long.'' Gibbs ordered, though his tone lacked its usual bite.

''I'm just going to set them up, Boss.'' McGee ensured him. ''I'll be right back.''

...

The break room was the chosen location for their video chat with Tony. Officially, you were only supposed to talk to an agent that was working abroad through MTAC or a secure line. And even those were supposed to be case related conferences only. A bonus of having a McGee in your arsenal was that any technological rules could easily be broken, (with the best intentions, of course). Ziva, once again, thanked the powers to be that she had found her way to NCIS all those years ago. She was blessed to have a friend like McGee, who was willing to risk a potential dressing down from Vance just so her and Lia could talk to their beloved man of the house.

Lia shifted slightly in Ziva's lap. ''Is Daddy going to be on the little 'puter?'' She asked, her little finger pointing at the laptop sat on the table in front of them.

''Yes.'' Ziva answered, with a soft smile. ''Do you think he will be happy to see us?''

A wide grin appeared on her face as she nodded enthusiastically. ''Daddy loves us, Momma.'' She started bouncing up and down in excitement. ''Is it calling?''

Ziva chuckled. ''It is calling him. We just need him to answer.''

Before any further explanation was needed, Tony popped up on the screen. Well, the back of his head did, anyway.

''Hey, Dempsey? A little privacy please?'' He called over his shoulder.

''You and Ziva gonna have phone sex again?''

Lia looked back at Ziva with a confused frown. She simply shook her head dismissively in response.

''No, she's calling on video chat.'' Tony replied.

''Oh, right. I'll get out of your hair then.''

Dempsey could be briefly seen in the background as he walked away. ''And grab me a soda, or something!'' Tony called after him. ''If this damn country has anything that luxurious.'' He added under his breath.

''Language, Tony.''

Ziva's voice seemed to startle him slightly, and he span around with wide eyes. Though, Ziva could immediately see how tired they looked. ''Oh, hey guys.'' He greeted with a beaming smile.

''Hi, Daddy!'' Lia waved.

His exhausted features visibly lit up. ''Hey, princess. Are you being good for your mom?''

''Yeah. I helped her make sp…spa…spatetty.''

He looked to Ziva for a translation. ''Spaghetti.'' She informed him with a fond smile. ''Yes, our little angel was very helpful with dinner last night. You like making food don't you, tatelah?''

Lia nodded in confirmation. ''Uh-huh.'' She turned back to the screen. ''Daddy, we gotsa make the 'Nozzo pizza when you gets back.''

''The DiNozzo special? Yeah, maybe you could help me with that as well, little chef.''

She seemed inexplicably excited at the prospect. ''Ken! Momma, you can help, too.''

Ziva leaned over and gave her a kiss on the forehead. ''I'd like that.''

Lia's eyes lit up, before they once again went to her father. ''Are you coming home soon?''

His face fell at the exact moment Ziva's did. It was obvious; to her at least, that his answer wasn't going to be welcome to Lia's ears. She sent him a gentle look of sympathy and understanding, hoping her eyes expressed the reassurance she knew he needed. It seemed to do the trick. He took a deep breath and regarded their daughter with a small smile. ''It won't be much longer, sweetie.'' He told her softly, his voice wavering slightly as he spoke. ''You just hang on in there. I'll be back to squash Hippo before you know it.''

He was clearly trying to lighten the mood, and Lia's small giggle brought back his smile again. It squeezed Ziva's heart that Tony could always make their little girl laugh, even from thousands of miles away. It was only really then that she realized how much she missed him. It had only been four days, but it was still hard to be at home 'relaxing' when he was in a warzone half a world away. It would have been easier if there was a pre-planned return date, but the fact that there wasn't made her all the more restless in her anxiety. At least he was safe. She could see him right there in front of her.

''No, you can't squash Hippo!'' Lia told him with a toothy grin. ''I'm gonna stop you.''

His eyebrows raised in amusement. ''I thought I was too heavy?''

''Momma will stop you.''

He turned his gaze to Ziva, who merely winked at him. ''Yeah, she probably will.'' He conceded.

''So, how is the case going?'' Ziva asked him. Her tone was casual, even as hope and dread continued their boxing match within her soul. She knew his answer could give her a proper indication of when he may be able to return home. It wasn't as simple for him to reassure her as it was with Lia.

He visibly swallowed back any emotion threatening to surface. ''We think we've found them, Ziva. We're heading out to get them tomorrow.''

And with that, hope landed the knockout blow. She felt a weight slightly lift off her chest that she wasn't even aware existed. ''That is good news, Tony. ''

He grunted. ''Yeah.''

''You do not seem very excited.''

After a heavy sigh, he confirmed what she already knew. ''I'm just tired.''

''Daddy needs nap time.'' Lia added her opinion seriously.

He smiled again. ''You think so, baby girl?''

She nodded. ''Yes, but I can't snuggle with you.''

''I wish you could.''

Ziva ran a gentle hand through Lia's curly hair. ''We will have to be patient, neshomeleh.'' Her daughter's small pout suggested she wasn't a big fan of patience; which was a David trait. Ziva wished she could do something about the whole situation, but knew it was out of her hands. ''We should let you go to bed, Tony.'' She said, looking back to his face on the screen.

''It's light outside, Momma.'' Lia informed her with a furrowed brow.

''It's night time here, princess.''

A familiar frown of consideration appeared on her face. ''But, we just had lunch.''

He chuckled warmly. ''I'll let your mom explain time zones. I'm way too tired.'' Ziva rolled her eyes. ''I'll speak to you again tomorrow.''

''Wait, I don't want you to go.'' Lia said sadly.

Ziva's chest panged as she looked to Tony, who sighed, his expression turning longing. ''Me neither, baby. But I need take a long nap and then we'll talk tomorrow, I promise.''

Her head bowed. ''I miss you lots, Daddy.''

He shared another brief and heavy look with Ziva. ''I miss you, too. Both of you.''

Lia gave him a slower, less energetic wave than the one she greeted him with. ''Bye, Daddy. Love you.''

''I love you more.''

''Call me after the Op tomorrow.'' Ziva gently ordered him.

He nodded in acknowledgement. ''I will.''

''Do you want to give your father a goodnight kiss, Lia?''

She nodded. ''Ken.''

Ziva kissed her own finger tips, before reaching out and placing them on the image of Tony's face. He smiled intimately, and she could see the emotion swimming in his eyes. Lia watched her mother with amazement, and then proceeded to offer Tony the same loving gesture. When her little hand made contact with the screen, she looked up at Ziva. The proud mother nodded in encouragement, bringing a delighted smile onto the child's face. There was a slight glassiness to Tony's eyes now, showcasing how much the two simple actions had meant to him.

''Night, Daddy.''

He wiped at the corner of his eye. ''Goodnight, sweetie. I love you guys, so much.''

''And we love you.'' Ziva returned through a tight throat. ''Be safe.''

And so, with a heavy heart, she clicked 'end call'. The man she loved disappeared from sight, just like her daughter's smile did from her face. Lia reached out and ran her hand over the screen that no longer had her daddy's face smiling back at them on it. Ziva's heart physically hurt when her little girl turned back to her, a desperate sadness lying deep in her eyes. As much as they both needed to talk to him and see his face, it occurred to Ziva that doing so only made them miss him more. It was emotional torture. Her own pain was amplified tenfold by the fact her daughter was so visibly shaken by the whole thing. Four days felt long enough for Ziva, she could only imagine what it felt like for the toddler.

Lia's chin quivered, and her head bowed. If it wasn't obvious enough already that she was about to start crying, then the sniffle soon made it so. Ziva's face fell as her own eyes started to burn. She waited until her baby let out a few small sobs, before she pulled her into to a tight embrace for comfort. She sat there for a few long minutes, rocking back and forth with her daughter in her arms, all the while murmuring soothing words of Hebrew into the messy curls under her chin. Her own tears went unnoticed and untended.

She knew they wouldn't stop falling until her daughter's did.

...

Friday movie night wasn't the same. Ziva put on a DVD and snuggled up next Lia on the couch to watch it. There was no Tony commentary, no Tony explanations, no Tony warmth, no Tony. It was still relaxed and cozy, but there was a rather gaping hole in the household and it was very-special-agent sized. It just wasn't the same. Lia still seemed to be interested in the plot, but not completely lost in it like usual. Without her father there to share her cinema-related enthusiasm, she rarely even cracked a smile. And she never asked one of her usual questions about the story. They both missed Tony like a limb.

And, given the events of the day, Ziva's gut twisted with worry once again.

He said he would call, but never did. The sun went down long ago in the Middle-East. She had been expecting a call from any point between when she woke up and when she began preparing Lia's dinner. At first she shrugged it off. He was a busy man, after all. Maybe he was caught up with the case, and couldn't find time to call his loving wife. She knew he hadn't simply forgotten; he always remembered to call. So, after a few more hours of letting her anxiety stew, she finally gave herself permission to be worried.

Lia knew nothing of this, of course. She couldn't possibly be expected to understand the potential dangers of her father's trip. She didn't know just how permanent his absence could be. No! Ziva mentally scolded herself. She could not allow herself to think like that. She was simply fearing the worst because she had seen the worst far, far too often. He was fine. He had to be fine.

It was only two hours later, when Lia was all tucked up in bed, that she began doubting that assumption.

The doorbell rang. Not exactly a rare occurrence in a suburban neighborhood. Unless it was at 9.30pm, then it was a bit strange. Out of habit, Ziva had the spare gun her and Tony always kept in the cabinet in her hand when she approached the door. This could be anyone, really. A random neighbor asking for help, a lost stranger passing through the street or, most terrifyingly, a bearer of bad news.

When she saw the unmistakable grey hair of Leroy Jethro Gibbs through the blurry window, she wasn't sure whether she felt relieved or even more worried.

She put the gun down on the key table, before unlocking the front door and opening it. There stood her old boss. One of the most influential and important men in her entire life. They knew each other so well by now that greetings were rarely necessary. In this case, she wouldn't be able to speak if she wanted to. His face, though typically stony, told her all she needed to know about this visit. A bearer of bad news indeed. She stepped aside to let him in, but he didn't look like he wanted to make himself at home. She closed the door behind him and closed her eyes, willing away the sudden spike in her heart rate.

''What has happened, Gibbs?''

Her voice was so small- so desperate- that even his features softened considerably. The worry and concern tugging at her tone couldn't do justice to the sudden wave of dread and nausea coursing through her entire being. She knew what this was about just by the deep breath he took in favor of a vocal response. She knew who this was about by the sympathetic look he offered her.

''Is Lia asleep?'' He asked softly.

She nodded. ''Yes. Though, she has not been sleeping well this week.''

He swallowed, sending a sad look to the top of the stairs.

''Gibbs…''

He let out a deep breath. ''I didn't want you to hear this from anyone else.''

She gasped. Now she was sure her worst nightmare was becoming reality. Her hand covered her mouth and she felt herself struggling to breath. ''No…''

''Ziva-''

''Do not say it, Gibbs.'' She pleaded, tears spilling onto her cheeks.

He stepped closer to her, placing a hand on her shoulder gently. ''His convoy was ambushed earlier today.''

She let out a strangled cry. ''No…''

''We don't know who did it. But we know he was alive when they last saw him, Ziva.'' He told her, trying his best to console her. But she was on the verge of a panic attack. ''Hey, Ziva, listen to me.'' He adopted his team leader voice, which never ceased to snap her out of her own head-space. ''We don't know he's dead. Okay? We've lost contact with him and we don't know where he is, but he's not dead.''

She sniffed back further tears and desperately tried to suck some much needed air into her lungs. ''He's not dead, Ziva.'' He added in a sure voice. ''I would know it if he was.''

How could he be so sure? She certainly wasn't, and her connection with Tony was far deeper these days than Gibbs' was. His words of assurance didn't have the effect he intended, and all of a sudden her mind was invaded with horrific images of her husband- her partner, her best friend, her entire world- dying in a hail of bullets and explosions while she was sat at home watching Bug's Life with their daughter. It was all too much. She wanted to run far, far away until her burning lungs allowed her to wake up from this nightmare. She knew it was real, though. Her shattered heart made that painfully obvious.

Her knees buckled and her whole universe fell apart with her.


Okay, I know I've done the whole 'Ziva thinks Tony is dead' thing before but this is a bit different. If you're wondering whether or not I'd ever actually kill him, then let's just say he's my favorite character. And that this story is far from over. Thanks for reading guys, I love you all. I'll try to sort my poor writing form out.