You awake?
Yes. You?
Obviously.
She smiled as she read his text message, sitting further up in bed, encased within heavy winter duvets.
What time did you leave? He asked.
A little after midnight. Why are you awake?
She worried she had said something wrong when he didn't reply, but his picture suddenly appeared with a quiet trill of her ringtone. "Hi."
"Hey. You sure I didn't wake you?" he asked, his voice husky and whisky-smooth; her eyes closed at the sound.
"No, I got an hour and a bit before. That'll do me for a while."
His voice didn't bely any humour at her gentle joke. "How long until you'll sleep properly again?"
She took a breath, "Generally about a week, all being well."
"When will it be a week?"
"Two days ago…?"
"MacKenzie-"
"-it's fine, Will."
"I really wish you'd stop saying that. What happened to you isn't-"
"-I know what it was, Will-"
"-something anyone would be fine from. Even you, Mac."
"Even me?"
He went quiet. "You amaze me sometimes. Well, all the time, but I'm only willing to admit to 'sometimes'. The way you're able to put an entire hour-long show together in your head and change it all half way through because of breaking news or a guest who turns out to be a prick or technical malfunctions… it just boggles my mind sometimes, MacKenzie. You're so goddamn smart I can't understand why you stick around ACN or what…what you see in me. I don't… I don't deserve your trust or attention, MacKenzie, I-"
She sat up in bed, pulling her knees up and hugging them to her chest. "Billy, you deserve more than I can give you, I am just hoping one day you'll actually let me-"
"Mac, I can't do this right now."
"Oh. Right. Okay. Okay."
"I'm sorry."
"No, it's okay. It just seemed like you wanted to talk about-"
"I know, I'm sorry. I can't."
"Right. No, I understand. Can…"
"'Can' what?"
"Could you stay on the line? We can talk about something else."
"Sure."
"You don't mind?"
"I don't mind."
She smiled, settling back into the pillows and the tucking the covers under her arms. "Do you have any plans for your weekend?"
"Watching the football here, nothing major. You?"
"I'll probably go into the office. Millie dropped off the performance evaluation forms so I'll get a head start on them."
"We do performance evaluations?"
"We do when I have a minute to complete them," she laughed. "Anything or anyone you want me to give a special mention about?"
"Jim needs a haircut, can you put that in there?"
"Yeah I don't think so. I think Leona and Charlie want more along the lines of personability with peers, guests and outside agencies…"
"Oh, I have nothing for you then."
She laughed, "Thanks."
"Anytime. I still know everyone's name if you want any help there."
"No, I think I'm good, thanks," she was smiling, a hand tucked beneath her head. "Who's playing tomorrow?"
"Everyone."
"Oh. Who are you rooting for?"
"Well, Florida Seminoles are having a good season so far, and the Nebraska game should be a good."
She nodded, "I have no idea what you just said."
"How is that still possible?"
"I like to surprise people," she smirked.
"And you do."
She fell asleep eventually, with Will still on the other line.
MacKenzie did indeed go into the office the next day. She pulled on jeans, a faded Cambridge tee, her ACN hat, and shrugged her arms into an old, somewhat-raggedy, but wholly comfortable zip-up sweater she kept in the office as soon as she rounded her desk.
She flicked through the weekend broadcasts and broadsheets, highlighting and clipping a few sections that could be of interest for the Monday show. She kept the CNN show on quiet for background noise, though barely registered the chatter as she caught up on emails and finally turned to the performance evaluations.
"Jesus Christ, man!" she suddenly exclaimed, ripping her glasses from her face and sitting back in the chair clutching her chest when Will burst through the door. "You don't fucking sneak up on a woman, you idiot!"
He probably shouldn't have, but he smiled.
Thankfully, her features softened and she smiled too; beginning to laugh when she called him, "Dick", pulling the cap from her head and smoothing down her hair.
"Good afternoon to you too, sunshine."
"What are you doing here?"
"Well," he grabbed the television remote and muted the channel before sitting down opposite her. "I wanted to talk to you about something."
She seemed to still entirely – her mind wondering if the impending conversation was the one he couldn't stomach the night before on the phone;, her heart hoping it was.
He dipped a hand into the inside pocket of his sports jacket and pulled out two cheques, laying them out carefully and precisely on her desk.
She was disappointed - she couldn't lie -but was more intrigued, "What are these?"
"Well, after you got to sleep last night, I was still up for a while and I was thinking. I wanted to see how you felt about approaching the Susan -"
"Suzanne?"
He gestured to the cheques, "These are for college funds for the kids."
She stared at the cheques, slowly bringing her eyes up to his. "Will…"
"Do you think she would accept them?"
"I have no idea, I- Will, are you sure about this?"
"Absolutely."
"But…why?"
"He saved your life, he saved Jim's and countless others over there and back here. The Veteran pay is abysmal in this country and it's something that needs to be addressed, but in the meantime I'd like to help the family out. I have the means to help them and I want to."
"But take Jim and I out of the equation, why Renzo? Why this family?"
"I can't answer that question, which is why I also have this," he reached into the inside pocket on the other side of his jacket, pulling out another cheque, this one with Renzo's name scribbled across the memo space. "This is made payable to the Michigan Veteran's Hospital, where I know Renzo spent some time himself before shipping back out."
"How do you know that?"
"I made a call."
"Will, I don't-"
"Just ask her. Please let me do this for them. And you."
Mac brought her bottom lip between her teeth and stared at him. She wanted to reach across the desk and kiss him, caress his cheek and thank him for being the most perfect example of a man outside of her father. She released her lip and spun the chair to face the computer. A few clicks later, the speakers were emitting a dialling tone and she was dragging her fingers over her hair and wishing she had given more of a crap about it that morning.
"Mac?" A voice asked as the picture came into view. "Hi!"
"Hi Suzanne," she smiled, "Can you talk?"
"Yes, of course! Matty's at soccer and Faith's on a playdate, I was just looking for an excuse to escape doing the washing so this is perfect," Suzanne smiled. She had a dark blue Michigan University sweatshirt on and seemed to be talking to Mac on her cellphone. She had an easy smile that lit up green eyes almost hidden by dark bangs. "How are you?"
"I'm good," Mac smiled.
Suzanne took a beat, "You sure?"
"Listen, I have something to talk to you about," she said, evading the other woman's question with a flail of her hands and ushering Will to bring his chair around her side of the desk. "Suzanne, I'd like you to meet Will McAvoy."
"Oh my God," she muttered, her face falling and eyes widening. A hand quickly smoothed across her hair. "Mr McAvoy, I-I-"
Will smiled, "Hi Suzanne, please call me Will."
She nodded, casting a look towards Mac that essentially said you warn a girl when you're going to put a celebrity on Skype! "Will."
"Suzanne, MacKenzie and Jim Harper have told me all about your husband and the sacrifices he made for their lives and I would first like to extend my condolences for your loss."
Suzanne's eyes turned a shade darker, the gaze dropping, "Thank you."
"I wanted to offer something to your family, if I may." He cast a look to Mac before continuing, "If you allow, I would like my accountant Arthur to contact you on Monday about setting up college funds for your children. They mean a great deal to MacKenzie and I am aware of your circumstances and would like to do this for them and for you."
Suzanne's mouth was agape; shock and trepidation across her features.
Mac began to speak, "Suzanne, he's being serious. He came to me with two cheques," she held them up to the camera, covering Will's face. "Each for twenty-thousand dollars and for Matthew Jr and Faith."
"Twen…?" she breathed.
"Obviously, it's up to you but the offer is legitimate, no strings attached and he just really wants to help you."
"But why us? I-I don't like the thought that we're getting special treatment just because Matthew was stationed with you."
Mac gestured to Will to continue.
"Obviously," he began, "as much as I would like to, I can't offer that to every child of the military, so you are getting special treatment. However, I am also going to donate two-hundred-and-fifty-thousand dollars to the Michigan Veteran's Hospital. Should you accept the offer, I'd like to do that in your husband's name, but they will be receiving that regardless."
"Oh my God," Suzanne repeated, a hand covering her mouth as tears began to fall. "Is he for real?" she asked Mac.
""I question it myself sometimes, but he is indeed for real. He's a rare breed," she looked to him with a smile, tears behind her eyes from her friend's reaction.
"Then I would be stupid to not accept!" She gave a watery laugh, her hand not holding the phone shrugging into the air. "Matthew would literally come back and kill me if I didn't! Mr McAvoy-"
"-Will-"
"I cannot thank- there are not enough- I can't even begin to thank you enough for what you're doing for my children and for the people at that hospital. I volunteer there a few hours a week and that money will do so much good there, I can't tell you." She swiped at fallen tears with the sweater-covered hands.
"I am so happy to be able to do this for you, Suzanne. You'll get a call from Arthur on Monday, okay? He can help set everything up for you," he smiled, laying a hand on Mac's shoulder. "I'll leave you two alone."
"I can't believe this is happening…"
Mac grinned, watching the door close behind Will, "That money you were putting away for them can go on the trip to Disney that Faith wants so badly."
Suzanne laughed, "It can! Oh God, I can't wait to see their faces. Thank you, MacKenzie. Thank you so much. What you did for us with the funeral was more than enough but this…"
"I had no hand in this one, it was all Will. He's a really good guy."
"…Mac, can I ask you a question? You don't have to answer if you don't want to."
MacKenzie gestured for her to continue.
"Are you really okay? You don't seem… I don't know."
She was taken aback by the question, "It's just been a rough week, that's all."
"The anniversary? Mac, please tell me you're not blaming yourself for anything. Matthew was a stubborn bastard when he wanted to be and loved that job almost as much as he loved his family. Given the chance, he wouldn't have done anything differently that day, I promise you that. If it wasn't you he saved, it would have been one of his buddies or… I don't know. Matthew would have done anything for anyone." She took a breath, shaking her head, "I do not blame you for anything, okay? Matthew wouldn't, the kids don't and you sure as hell shouldn't, do you hear me?"
She couldn't help the quiver in her chin at Suzanne's vehement insistence. She managed to nod, telling her through a shaking voice, "Listen out for Arthur's call. I'll send some things out for Faith's birthday. Talk to you soon." She ended the call before Suzanne could say any more and, blessedly, before she began to cry.
She spun away from the computer and moved to stand up, going as far as the corner of the desk before leaning back against it and covering her face.
She felt Will's arm encircle her waist and his chest beneath her head almost instantly.
Crying on him was becoming a habit, she fleetingly thought; Suzanne's words ringing through her mind practically on a loop. She definitely felt like an amount of weight had been lifted from her shoulders; though Mac had been told by Suzanne previously that she wasn't to blame and shouldn't have the death on her shoulders, she still felt it. Of course Suzanne must blame her, even hate her, her husband had died and her children were without a father. While Suzanne felt the absence of Matthew from their lives - of course she would – she was as at peace with the situation as she could possibly be.
The sobs soon subsided, Mac's fists clutching his shirt as Will rubbed circles into her back and held her tightly against him. He was warm, smelling of spiced cologne and cigarettes; it was familiar and comforting.
He placed a kiss into her hair, continuing to hold her long after she had finishing crying; to when it was essentially a hug. A long, tight, contented hug. He took a breath, the scent of her hair filling his nostrils as he smoothed his hands over her back. She was too thin for his liking; his fingers falling between the divots of her spine on their journeys, her waist seemingly fitting between the span of two hands.
She was trying to suppress a yawn; he could feel the tensing of her muscles, the clenching of her jaw, the long express of air afterwards.
He placed a final kiss in her hair before pulling backwards, the tops of her arms in his grasp as he said, "You want to come back to mine? I'll make lasagne, start a fire, you can…sleep over. What do you say?"
