Chapter Four: Girl On Fire
"Where is she? Where is April—Dr. Kepner?" Jackson frantically panted, having run all the way from his new office on the second floor after having heard about the incident in the ER. Apparently, the police had brought in a couple and two kids from a domestic disturbance, and the husband had gone after the wife again in the ER and April and Meredith had been in the way. The scrub nurse said they were fine and the incident had been taken care of, but he still needed to see for himself. He needed to see April.
Now.
"I'm sorry, sir. She has already left for the night. Would you like me to page her?"
"No, I, uh, I know where she is." He hustled out the door and rushed down by the water front to Sound Check, heart pounding frantically in his chest. Things had been awkward since last week…when he kissed her and she ran away, this horrible look on her face. He had ended things with Stephanie. He knew it was highly inappropriate since he was now on the board and she was a surgical intern. He felt sort of bad. Not because he ended things with her, but because he didn't feel bad that he had ended things with her.
If he had never slept with Stephanie after Bailey and Ben's wedding, he might've been able to work things out with April before she had met Matt.
Fucking nerdy paramedic.
He burst through the doors, wild-eyed, a mad man. One look and Alex met him head on, hands palm out, a defensive move.
"Dude. She's okay. They're both okay. All right? A little banged up, but already talking war stories. They checked out both of them, baby too. Everybody is fine." Jackson still didn't look like he believed him. "Dude, I swear."
"Okay. Okay." Jackson deflated, face going from worried to nothing in a split second. It was like all the emotion had just abandoned him in his relief.
"They aren't here yet. Derek, Cristina, and Owen are with them. They had to talk to the police. File a report. That kind of thing." Alex hesitated, and Jackson could see the stress in his colleague and one-time roommate's eyes.
"It was bad, wasn't it?"
"They're pretty banged up. Don't worry though. Kepner got a few shots in herself, trying to keep him away from the wife and Mer, and the wife hit him with an IV pole, and then the security guard took him down." Alex's eyes glowed dangerously, and Jackson could see the protectiveness in the other surgeon. "Guy is lucky as hell I wasn't the one there."
"Me too, Karev. Me too." Jackson looked around and saw the table—intern and paramedic-less—staring at him. "Let's sit down. The natives are becoming restless."
"How are you, Jackson?" Arizona asked, brows knitted and lips pursed, obviously knowing exactly how he was, as he and Alex approached. Jackson fought the urge to roll his eyes as Phil brought him over a double scotch.
"I—I'm fine, Dr. Robbins. Thank you for asking." He and Alex sat down and silence overtook the table for a moment, and then Richard lifted his tonic—no gin—and smiled waywardly with a melancholy grimace.
"To April Kepner's father, wherever he is, who taught her how to punch, to Ellis Grey who taught Meredith how to stand her ground, to the security guards who acted without hesitation, and to Ms. Green who probably saved April and Meredith's lives after they tried to protect her."
They all chimed in their agreement, and Jackson grimaced himself when he thought about tiny April trying to physically defend herself, a pregnant woman, and beaten down patient.
"But we come through." Callie said in reverence, and then she swallowed, taking a moment.
"We come through," Jackson agreed.
"On a lighter note, who here would've loved to see little April Kepner opening up a can of whoop ass on that alcoholic wife-beating pig?" Bailey laughed, with a hint of sadness still in her eyes.
Alex snorted.
"Who knew she had it in her?"
"I did," Jackson murmured, almost inaudibly, staring down into the amber swirl of liquor, eyes cloudy, brow furrowed.
"Yes," Richard smiled. "I remember. Her bar fight at the boards."
"April Kepner, scrapper." Callie laughed.
"People can always surprise you," Arizona added, eyes snapping to the door. "They're here."
Alex and Jackson were almost instantly on their feet, but Bailey and Callie each laid hands on their arms to halt them. Cristina and Owen were the first ones through the door, Owen grim and Cristina, as always, ready to explain for Meredith as she came forward with her hands up and ready, knowing they would need an explanation.
"No tears. No hugs. No talking about it. Got it?"
"We got it." Jackson said, and she turned her fierce eyes toward Alex.
"Evil Spawn?"
"He said we got it." Alex said angrily, staring at Cristina. Their eyes held for a moment before Cristina nodded her affirmation. With her obvious permission, Owen walked back to the door and waved.
And then Derek escorted April and Meredith in the bar, and all Jackson could see was red.
Meredith had bandages on her wrists, a busted lip, and a cut on her cheek. Her pregnant belly still bulged under a sweater that was obviously Derek's, sleeves pushed up to her elbows, as she made her way through the crowd. Jackson had never realized how small she was until that moment.
And then April stepped from behind her, allowing him his first real taste of what rage and helplessness felt like. Nothing had ever felt like this. Not the shooting; not losing Mark and Lexie; not realizing April didn't want the life he had laid out at her feet.
She looked like hell. If he had thought Meredith was small, then April was tiny. She was so damn tiny standing there with a black eye and bruises around her neck.
"You look like you went 3 rounds with Rocky," Alex acknowledged, a joking tone to his voice, but steel in his dark eyes.
"We have ourselves two badasses on our hands," Owen smiled tightly, and Jackson watched as April attempted a smile that came out as more grimace than grin. She slid into the seat between him and Alex silently as Meredith, Derek, Owen, and Cristina all gathered seats and sat, and conversation went on, albeit awkwardly at first. Meredith seemed to be more adjusted than April because April didn't say a word.
She just looked so far away, and he couldn't stand it. His hand slipped into hers quickly, leisurely, almost like a habit, and her fingers squeezed his back. His heart stampeded in his chest.
The night went on and Callie eventually took the stage. April kept his hand in hers.
She's just a girl and she's on fire…
Hotter than a fantasy, lonely like a highway…
She's living in a world and it's on fire…
Filled with catastrophe, but she knows she can fly away…
April's eyes met his, and for a moment, they just stared at each other, and then her hand slipped out of his, and she headed toward the bathroom. He stayed seated for a second, and then his eyes wandered toward that back hallway where he and Callie had spoken a few weeks ago.
Meredith's eyes met his, eyebrow quirked, thin lips almost but not quite pursed, and then with a quick nod, she decided.
"Go."
He was out of his seat so fast that he missed Derek's eyes swinging to Meredith.
"What was that?"
"He's her knight in shining whatever. He's her person."
"And he's in love with her." Derek added with a small grin.
"Yes, he is in love with her." Meredith conceded, kissing him lightly on his cheek, rubbing her hand along his jaw.
"Better be careful. You're looking more bright and shiny by the minute," He accused, and Meredith laughed loudly.
This girl is on fire...
This girl is on fire...
She's walking on fire...
This girl is on fire...
When Jackson found April, she was crouched against the back corner of the hallway, arms around her calves; face pressed into her knees, weeping silently, and the sight shattered Jackson's already broken heart.
"Hey."
She jumped at the sudden sound of his voice, and he cursed himself silently, hands in his pockets, neck bent at an awkward angle, feet shuffling aimlessly.
"Jackson, hey."
"You okay?" Pause. "That was a stupid question. Sorry."
"I-I am. I'm all right. Now. Now I'm all right. Thank you for asking," She timidly said, not meeting his gaze, and suddenly he couldn't help himself. He slid down the wall next to her, throwing his arms over her shoulders, and tucking her into his side with a quick kiss to the top of her red curls.
"You can talk to me, April. No matter what has happened between us…you can always talk to me. Promise."
Ohhhh oh oh oh…
We got our feet on the ground…
And we're burning it down…
Ohhhh oh oh oh oh…
Got our head in the clouds…
And we're not coming down…
She looked shyly up at him, the secrets of the universe seemed to be concealed in the mocha abyss of her eyes, and he could feel himself drowning inside it. It was almost tangible, the physical pull he felt toward her. His chest shuddered with the reality of touching her.
"I was afraid." Her voice was barely a whisper, so low he barely heard it. Maybe he wasn't meant to hear it.
"April…" He trailed off, not sure at all if he wanted to hear what she had to say after all, but knowing that if she really wanted to talk about it, he would listen. He would always listen to her.
"I was afraid, and his hands—they were huge. Huge, grizzly bear hands, and Matt asked me to marry him." She kept ranting. He couldn't hear her anymore. Matt had asked her to marry him. He might really lose her. Like, he might really, really lose her. He couldn't breathe.
This girl is on fire...
This girl is on fire...
She's walking on fire...
This girl is on fire...
And then her eyes met his, and she shuddered out a low moan at the intensity and the pain in his eyes. "I didn't say yes. I mean, I didn't say no either. But I didn't say yes."
"Ok," Jackson swallowed, trying to clear the lump in his throat.
"What do I do, Jackson? My life is falling apart, and I don't know what to do. He's perfect. Matt is perfect for me. He's nerdy and awkward and he's a virgin. But I could've died today. And you—what do I do?"
She's just a girl and she's on fire…
Girl On Fire - Alicia Keys
Author's Note: Sorry for taking FOREVER but I hope it was worth the wait. Please let me know what you guys think! Thanks for reading and please review!
