Crossing roads.

It had been four years since Hephaestion had left the Macedonian Army and he had missed his former life every day of those last four years. Nevertheless, he could not tell that his life was bad, it wasn't but … it wasn't what he wanted either. Something was missing but he didn't dare to think about that. What he didn't know was that he was about to cross roads with his biggest fear very soon.

His return to Macedon had provoked quite a revolution, women asking when their husbands or lovers were coming back; children asking him if he knew where their fathers were or if they were brave warriors. The first two weeks were chaotic but Hephaestion, with his endless patience, weathered the storm successfully.

He reopened his childhood farm house again and began rebuilding the parts that needed it the most. His skills at building huge constructions were more than useful for a medium size house. The farm lands were cultivated because he had hired some farmers to keep them fertile and producing crops.

As soon as he arrived, the farmers appeared to ask him timidly for time to look for another place to live and work. Hephaestion told them that he had no intention to make them leave but if that was their wish he would have to look for other farmers to look after the lands. They decided to stay and they soon realized that the former General was a very generous man and he knew a lot about plants, seeds and herbs. One of the women approached him one afternoon to ask him if he would teach her more about healing herbs and let her start a garden for them. Hephaestion was happy to teach her and she proved to be a quick student. She praised her for being a good learner and she said that it was because he was a very good teacher. The former General blushed as a teenager.

Spring turned quickly into summer and that brought long and hot days. He used to enjoy going to a nearby lake and refreshed himself there after working all day long. Summer went by and autumn appeared with its cloudy days and leaving his beautiful trees without their green leaves, soon replaced by brownish ones and when winter arrived the trees were completely devoid of leaves at all.

A whole year had already gone by when one early spring day, after working all day long on the new roof, Hephaestion was sat down on a chair in the front garden, drinking some water when a girl, no older than three summers, asked him if he knew how to write. He smiled and told her that he could. The girl ran away, leaving an astonished Hephaestion there. Some minutes later, the little girl appeared again with a scroll and a stylus and asked him if he could write her name on that. He smiled again and asked what her name was, she said her name was Alexia and the brunette felt a shiver travelled along his spine. He had crossed many times with news about Alexander but in the last four years he had never written his name once. His hand trembled when he began writing it but he told off himself, and did it without hesitation.

The girl's eyes gleamed with joy and in that moment he realized the reason of the little girl's name, she had one eye grey and the other green, just like Alexander but her hair was jet black and straight.

She set her two coloured eyes onto his cerulean ones and he suddenly found himself with an armful of the dark-haired girl. Alexia lifted her tiny hand and rubbed her fingers along Hephaestion's stubbed cheek caressing it happily. After that, she pecked that same cheek with her wet lips. Hephaestion looked at her and smiled broadly; the little girl had captured his soul and lightened the weight of his heart.

From that day on, the little Alexia came to visit Hephaestion every day of that week and spent many hours with him, especially when he was working in the garden. She was constantly asking him about stories and his travels with the king, a person she really admired because, she had confessed sheepishly, he was like the sun with his blonde hair and they shared the same eye colour, a fact that was rather unique. In the beginning it was painful for the young man but then he learnt to remember those years without feeling pain or regret but happiness.

One day after that first week, a young woman appeared at his door and asked if he was Hephaestion. He said he was and asked who she was in return; she was Alexia's mother and she wanted to thank him because her little girl had regained her life wish since she met him. The woman explained that her husband had died from an incurable illness the previous winter. He used to spend long hours telling his little daughter stories and the day he died he had promised to teach her to write her name. Hephaestion realized why that was the first thing she had asked him to write for her.

After that day, they talked frequently but nothing happened between them. Hephaestion started to think if something was wrong with him because he had not been with anyone for the last two years. He couldn't say that he had not had opportunities but he had never accepted any of the offers. It seemed as if his heart was denying him an opportunity to start again and his body was in complot with his heart.

Winter came earlier that third year and more severe than he could remember. He had not been able to work outside for long because it was really cold and after some time, he could not feel his fingers and toes. He had missed Alexia's visits, the little girl was four years old at the moment, but he knew that if it was so cold it was not advisable to go out. However, he decided to visit her the following day and see if they needed his help.

The sun had just set down when he heard a light knock at his door. He thought who had dared to go out with that weather so he hurried to open the door and let the visitor it. To his surprise, his visitor was his little friend, she was panicking because she could not wake up her mother. Hephaestion took a warm and heavy blanket and wrapped Alexia with it; the little girl was shivering a lot and her little feet were bluish. After taking care of her, he went to the stable and took his loyal Auburn out and the three of them went towards Alexia's house.

As soon as Hephaestion saw the young woman, he realized what the problem was; the purple hue of her skin told him about a massive stroke provoking her sudden death; at least she had not suffered.

The brunette turned round to look at Alexia, knelt and opening his arms widely he hugged the little body tightly against his broad chest. Fat tears fell from those two coloured eyes when the little girl realized that her mother was not waking up again. He kept hugging her until her sobs and tears subsided. He sat on the floor and explained that he should take care of her mother's body so she should go with one of her neighbours until he finished. She nodded but as soon as he left her in the neighbour's house, she started to call his name. He went back and promised that when he finished, he would come back. The little girl grabbed his leather pants tightly until he promised for Aphrodite's sweet breath that he was coming back. Alexia sat behind the closed door and waited there without moving an inch and the old woman, looking after her, could see that the girl was repeating the former oath on the goddess's name.

Hephaestion came back later and asked the woman if she knew if Alexia had any other relatives; the old lady said that there was anyone else but that she would gladly bring her up. Alexia turned her little face and looked at Hephaestion with those eyes and he could see the hidden plea in them. Sighing deeply, he thanked the old woman but told her that he would look after her and she was invited to visit them whenever she wanted. The old woman smiled tenderly, she knew the girl had a soft spot for the handsome man. Those two would be good together and for each other.

Man and girl returned to the farm house and Hephaestion started to think what had made him take that decision. The answer came suddenly when he remembered another time, three years ago, when he had taken a radical decision because he wanted to be needed and loved truly.

He tucked Alexia into his bed and he sat on a comfortable couch by her side, looking as the breathing became softer, indicating that she had finally fallen asleep. He should have fallen asleep too but he was woken up by a loud cry; Alexia was having a nightmare and he did automatically what he used to do whenever Alexander had his, he sat the little girl onto his lap and hugged her tight, rocking back and forwards and whispering comfort words in her ear.

The girl opened her eyes, filled up to the brim with tears, and hugged him back with her short arms and cried, leaving a wet patch on his chiton. After some minutes, she fell into a deep slumber due to her heavy sobbing and when Hephaestion tried to lay her down on the bed again, it dawned on him that he couldn't because Alexia had her tiny hands turned into fists grabbing his chiton. He went back to the couch, covered both of them with a fur blanket and fell asleep together there.

Morning came and Alexia woke up with a tiny smile when she discovered he was in her friend's arms but truth hit harder seconds later reminding her of her mum's death. Low sobs began again and even though she tried to stop them, she couldn't. A strong hand started to move up and down along her small back and a soothing feeling filled her mourning heart. She lifted her head and found two sad cerulean eyes looking back at her and she immediately felt lips on her forehead and whispers that assured her that everything was going to be fine.

It took nearly three months for the little Alexia to start feeling better; she still had her sad moments but, as Hephaestion had taught her, she replaced each of them with one happy moment shared with her parents. She began secretly replacing some of those sad moments with happy ones shared with Hephaestion, who she admired and loved too much.

She began doing some things around the house, helping Hephaestion with little chores such as carrying water, fetching eggs or sweeping the floors. One summer day, she discovered herself singing and laughed loudly making Hephaestion smiled broadly.

Some summer afternoons were spent on the lake where Hephaestion taught her how to swim and he retold the story about how he had taught King Alexander how to swim too. She stopped her movements for a while, and grabbing his arm, she asked softly:

"Why did you leave him … papa?"

Hephaestion froze for some seconds; that "papa" had sounded so needy but he couldn't deny the warm feeling invading his heart. He took a deep breath and answered:

"Because it was the best for both of us"

"Did you love him?" she asked again boldly and happy because he had subtlety accepted his title of papa.

"Yes, but he didn't" he answered, feeling a stubbing pain in his heart.

"I love you, papa. You are my father now, aren't you?" she asked, needing a verbal confirmation of her heart's deepest desire.

"Yes, I am, as long as you want me to be that" replied the young man with his eyes a bit wet.

"Forever papa" she said smiling broadly.

"And one day more" he said, grabbing his little "daughter" between his strong arms and hugged her tenderly.

Days went by and the end of the summer was near. Hephaestion decided to take Alexia to the nearest city to buy bigger warm clothes; she had grown quite tall in the last months and he suspected that her clothes would not fit her anymore. He was not too much fond of going to another place to buy his supplies but they didn't have in their town what they needed.

They departed early one morning and arrived there one hour later. The open market in the street had, at least fifty stalls, and some of them had exotic goods. They bought what they needed and then they strolled along the different stalls, admiring the goods. Alexia set her eyes onto the drag dolls, her only doll had been ripped apart by a stray dog that had entered the garden. Hephaestion saw her eyes and made a sign to the merchant to show her some of them. The young merchant was staring at him and he finally dared to ask him if he was Hephaestion Amyntoros. When he nodded, the youth smiled broadly and offered the little girl his best and biggest doll, telling her it was his gift for her. Father and daughter asked "Why?" at the same time and the young man answered "Because your father had saved my father's life". Both of them thanked the merchant and a very happy Alexia hugged her new doll and loved her brave father even more.

They were ready to come back when Hephaestion realized that he had forgotten some supplies. He left Alexia on Auburn and told his daughter to wait for him there and to his faithful mare to look after her.

She was looking at her new doll when she listened to many horses coming and people happily shouting a single name "Alexander Alexander". She stayed frozen on the horse, a light shiver travelled along her little frame when she thought that her father might decide to leave her and follow his king. As they were passing by, a familiar neigh made the king stop and looking at the auburn mare he whispered "Auburn". Bucephalus was stomping his front legs in front of the mare and he suddenly rubbed his nuzzle against his old friend. Alexander lifted his gaze and two coloured eyes met their same coloured partners. He swallowed deeply and asked:

"Do you know the owner of this mare?"

"He is my papa, Sire" she answered, nearly whispering.

"Can you tell me where he is" the king asked again.

"He is in there, Sire"

"Thank you. What is your name?" he asked seeing the little girl trembling a little in spite of the still warm weather.

"I am Alexia, Sire"

"Thank you, Alexia. I am Alexander" he replied and turning round, he started to walk towards the store the girl had pointed at before.

He was about to enter when Hephaestion was coming out with a high pile of goods that reached up to his head. However, the king would always recognize those hands anytime.

"Let me help you, Phai" he said with a tiny and deep voice.

And Hephaestion felt his heart crumble to the floor as well as all his goods. He stood there, unmovable, looking at his king, who was also still in his place, as if he were nailed to the floor. They moved together and fell into each other arms, hugging tightly.

Alexander nuzzled his former's lover scent and whispered in his ear:

"I have missed you so much, Phai"

"So have I, Alex"

"I met your little girl, she is gorgeous" he added, ending the embrace but without releasing Hephaestion's forearms.

"Yes, she is; she is also a nice girl" Hephaestion replied with pride in his voice.

"That is really nice, Hephaestion. So have you found your place in the world?" asked the king softly.

"I think I have"

"It's been four long years" Alexander added, looking at his former lover and trying to imprint his image in his mind forever.

"Yes, and may I ask what you are doing here, so far away from your beloved East" Hephaestion asked and he could not mask his snarky tone.

"I wanted to see home before I …" and he was interrupted by Hephaestion when he said

"Before you go on conquering more territory"

Alexander did not answer but he looked at Hephaestion with sad eyes.

"I'd better let you go back to your family" said the king, releasing his forearms with a light squeeze.

Hephaestion did not correct Alexander, he simply smiled that tiny smile of his, the one only reserved to Alexander, and greeted him, wishing his king health. The brunette did not see Alexander's wince at his last word and he did not see the tiny sad smile on his face when he saw Alexia hugging her father tenderly and hiding her little face among the long tresses.

They returned to their house in silence, one thinking about the turmoil of feelings inside his heart. He had never thought their roads would cross again and seeing him today had woken all those dormant feelings inside his heart that had been kept hidden. He realized that He was what his life was missing but he would not dare to act on it again. He had Alexia now and he was happy with her.

Meanwhile, the little girl was recalling the whole scene that happened outside the store and she had seen love in his father's eyes and also pain and she had seen love and regret in the king's eyes too. Those two men still loved each other and her father was wrong when he had said that the king hadn't loved him. She could see his endless love reaching out to touch her father and she had also seen that love crumble when the king had discovered her existence. She had to let him know that Hephaestion was still single and that she was only his adopted daughter, maybe in that way she could put a smile on their faces again.

When they finally arrived home, Hephaestion had finished with his musings and decided not to spend another second thinking about Alexander, it was his past and now he had a new life with a beautiful daughter and even though his life was not what he had expected, he would never cross that road because … if he reached to Alexander again, he would die as soon as he left for his next conquest.

He had crossed the bridge to a new life and he was not going backwards … or that was what he thought …

Time would prove him wrong soon …

TBC