October 23, 2012
Chapter 4 Empty
I walked into the silent apartment. I wasn't too worried because I know that Bella must be at her studio. I've never seen her studio. I wonder if she would be willing to show it to me tomorrow. I feel bad that I didn't go with her and mom when she was looking at spaces to create an art studio. I know how important her art is to her. God she is gifted; sometimes it is hard to tell if it is a photo or a painting. She works in different mediums and styles too. I miss watching her work.
First thing was to put the pizza down and get the table set. The flower vase isn't on the table…. We always have fresh flowers in the crystal vase dad gave us as an engagement gift. I remember that he hold me to always bring her flowers and never let the vase go empty for longer than 5 minutes. I used to pick up a bouquet every Monday and Thursday. When I started to work later than the flower shops are open I would call in a delivery and when I started to forget I asked Tonya to remind me but she offered to make sure that Bella got her flowers. I was grateful for the offer at the time but I wish I had declined and continued to so it myself. I wonder what happened. If Tonya is still sending the flowers why are there none on the table? I searched out the vase and eventually found it under the kitchen sink with a thick layer of dust on it.
I look at my watch and confirm that it is a quarter to six. Bella should be home at any time. She has never liked to eat later than 7 and she prefers eating at home unless it is a special occasion. I sit on the couch and pull out our photo album from the drawer in the coffee table. Most of the pictures are from before we were married. The looks of love in the eyes of the two people in the pictures bring a tear to my eye. For a long time now Bella's eyes have held disappointment, longing and sadness. The night she moved into the guest room her eyes were just…. The only word I could think of was bereft.
I haven't slept well at all since that night. I tried to ask her what was wrong but she screamed at me that if I ever spent more time at home than the time needed to sleep, shower and put on a clean suit then I might have a clue. I tried to wrap her in my arms but she physically pushed me away; she punched me, hard, in the chest, on my arms. She slammed the guest room door on my face then opened it again for a brief moment. "Tell Tonya to start picking up your laundry from the cleaners too." And slam; the door almost hit my nose.
I tossed the photo album back in the drawer. My watch said 7:49 Bella hates being out alone after dark. She had a scary incident in Port Angelus back in high school. She was cornered by a group of men who tried to attack her but a couple who were making out nearby saw what was happening and called the cops. Bella was very lucky because there were some officers just a block over and they responded in time. What had frightened Bella the most was that one of the guys was wanted for Rape and Murder in Oregon.
I was more than a little worried by now. I pulled out my cell phone and hit her speed dial. A song started to play from the guest room. She couldn't have been home all this time? I knocked on the door but there was no answer. I called her again and the song started over. Bella never used songs for ringtones. I opened the door but the room was cold and dark. Her phone was on the nightstand and the screen was lit.
Something is very wrong with this picture. I turned on the light. Under the phone was a note. I was about to pick up the note when the lyrics on the ringtone sent a chill throughout my body.
Please, please, forgive me
But I won't be home again
Maybe someday you'll look up
And barely conscious, you'll say to no one
"Isn't something missing?
I pulled the note from under the phone and with shaking hands I read it.
My Dear Husband.
I am gone. As much as I love you and probably always will; I can no longer live this life with you. Sometimes I feel so invisible to you. You love you work so much and I understand that but I just wish you loved me half as much as you love the company and your clients.
I am not suicidal but I am ending my life with you. I know you wouldn't agree to a divorce so I won't ask for one but if you want one at any time just give the papers to Charlie and he will see that they get to me. I have left my belongings there because I don't want them; they are a part of the life I am leaving behind. Donate them or burn them, I don't care.
I wish the best for you Edward and I wish the best for myself too.
Bella.
For anyone interested in the song that Bella put as her ringtone it is Missing by Evenesence. Google it if you want to hear it or check on my facebook group page for the link. I may use the rest of the lyrics in a future post. This song was the inspiration for the story.
Question Time:
1 How do you think Edward is going to handle this?
2 What will his first move be?
3 What do you think of Bella's decision? (Keep in mind we are only hearing Edwards prospective so far.)
Please Please review.
Suzanna
