A/n: Almost at the end. One last chapter to go (:

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Dear Caitlin,

It's been another long year since my last message, and I sincerely apologize for my prolonged absence.

I'm sure Cisco and Wells could have figured it out by now, but the human body was not meant to survive long periods in the Speed Force, and before long, mine completely broke down. But instead of dying, my consciousness it seemed, was instead absorbed into the Speed Force, and for the whole of last year, I had been drifting, to wherever the currents may bring.

In time, I would have completely faded, my mind and body fully becoming one with the Speed Force, but a part of me refused the coalescence; a part of me still believing in a way back to you. But in all the time I've aimlessly drifted, incapable of all but to follow the currents, I've learned futility, and came the sad acquiescence of my fate.

My end was near, and I accepted the Speed Force; and in return, it granted me a moment of clarity, freed from the currents, as though giving me the chance to write a final letter to you.

There is so much left to say, so I will start, from the bottom of my heart and straight to the point – for if I do not speak now, I fear I may never have the chance to do so again.

Caitlin Snow, I love you, truly, madly, and with all of my heart.

I realize that now, regardless of my irrational fears, regardless of my self-destructive tendencies to always push away those close to me. I realize, that I've always loved you, constantly, insufferably, and in every single day of my life.

You're the first person I saw when I woke from my coma, and I've loved you then, even from day one; you've had me, and I was forever yours.

You meant so much more to me than anything else, and there was nothing in this world I was more afraid of, than the thought of losing you. I should have never let you go; I should have fought for you; I should have given you the entire world and more; I should have told you how I felt, and I should have kissed you every single day of your life.

Because Caitlin Snow, this is my last letter, and I desperately need you to know, that no matter how fast or how far I run – you are my home, and I'll always run home.

Love,
Barry

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