I knew they had both hoped that I'd forgotten about the incident when I came downstairs from showering and putting on dry clothes. Hardly. I was currently planning their demise. It was going to be slow… and painful. However, that could wait until tomorrow. By the time I got downstairs, James had cast a drying charm on himself and dinner was almost ready. Too bad the sweater I had worn today was the only one I owned that would shrink and wrinkle dreadfully with that charm. Outside, the snow had stopped, leaving bare spots on the ground. I was glad I was inside, safe and warm. There was a fire roaring in the grate, Sirius had gotten the puddles of water on the floor dried up, and James was hanging up stockings on the mantel. Mrs. Potter smiled fondly at the back of James' head.

"I shouldn't encourage them, but I do love their antics," Mrs. Potter said warmly as I sat down beside her. "It used to be a game in between James and his father. His father and I were both aurors, and we wanted him to be wary of traps and such. His father would plant something around the house that would, say turn his hair green and James would try to avoid triggering the trap. James would always try and get his father back, but it took him quite a while to finally be able to. It helped him to learn to keep his guard up, but he's too fond of the mischief to give up his pranking entirely. Though, he's had a lot fewer detentions since he became Head Boy."

It was true. I had a hard time remembering the last time that James had gotten a detention this year. Then again, the number of detentions had fallen toward the end of our sixth year.

"He's gotten more serious this year, but he's also gotten much better at not getting caught. Our first year, every time they would pull something, the teachers knew immediately who did it. These past few years, the teachers assumed who the culprits were but they couldn't prove anything. I had a hard enough time trying to prove it."

I remembered back when I had been intent to prove that James Potter caused every single prank that I thought he did. I had been so sick and tired of James bloody Potter asking me out every single time we ran into each other, which he seemed to go out of his way to do. I figured that the more time that he spent in detention, the less time there was in the day for him to ask me out. It hadn't worked. He was still doggedly persistent, even with a record number of detentions.

Now, it was different; it was disturbing how much could change in a year or two. James Potter wasn't the guy I had long assumed him to be, but I hadn't figured that out until this past summer. What I was still trying to figure out was who he really was. I knew James the prankster, I knew James the prat, and I knew James the head boy, but there were plenty of times I would get a taste of a side of him that I didn't know. I liked that side of him, too. I pondered this until I finally went to bed. Who was James Potter really?

I woke up suddenly and glanced at the alarm clock. It was a quarter after two. I cursed under my breath. I was wide awake after the nightmare I'd just had and there was no way I would be getting back to sleep any time soon, no matter how many times I tried to find a comfortable position. I got out of bed and put on my robe. Maybe some tea would settle me down a bit. I hoped Mrs. Potter wouldn't mind if I got some. Quietly, I snuck out of my room and crept downstairs. I didn't bother lighting my wand until I was in the kitchen. I grabbed the glass I'd used earlier for hot chocolate and moved over to the sink to give it a good rinse.

"Couldn't sleep? Or do you just like getting up in the middle of the night to wash dishes?"

I started and almost dropped the mug.

"Couldn't sleep," I confessed, looking at James who was standing behind me.

"Me neither," he admitted, running his hand through his messy black hair. "I'm guessing you were coming down for something hot?"

"Tea, actually. I was hoping no one would mind."

"Nope not at all. Are you against trying something new?"

I shook my head and watched as he headed over to the cupboard and grabbed a box out. He pulled out two tea bags and heated up some water.

"It's green tea," he explained as he handed me a mug of the finished product. "It doesn't have the caffeine that tea does, so it shouldn't keep you up. I found it in an apothecary once."

I took a sip of the tea and felt my body start to relax. It was actually really good.

"Thanks, James."

"No problem," he answered, scooting back to sit on the counter. A leg of his pajama bottoms revealed a pattern of different coloured light sabers. I smiled at that. Apparently, I wasn't the only one to see Star Wars. I pushed myself onto the counter too, holding my mug tightly. When I looked back over at James, he was studying me over his mug of tea.

"What?" I asked, perplexed by the look he was giving me.

"I heard you tossing and turning. Nightmare?"

"Yeah," I said, looking down into my tea. I'd had more nightmares this year than I knew what to do with.

"Care to talk about it?"

"It was just about my mum," I said, trying to dismiss it as being nothing. It was awkward enough that he knew.

He raised his eyebrow.

"And?" he pressed.

"I just keep having nightmares about the way she died. About what would have happened if I had been with her instead of staying at home. In my dreams, she's always yelling at me because I left her alone to die." I trailed off. I hated thinking about my mum's death. I always felt so guilty.

"You do realize that if you'd been with her, you might have died too? Or maybe whatever charm you used would have killed the other driver. Maybe you might have been able to save them both, but another driver or onlooker would have been hurt in the process. It's risky, playing the what if game. You can't change anything, and you wouldn't know the consequences of changing it anyways."

"You don't understand," I muttered, turning away as I was tearing up.

"Really? My dad died too. And I'd restricted my diet to healthier foods back when I first made the quidditch team. It could have cut out half of the stuff that contributed to his heart attack. Maybe if I made sure he ate it with me, he'd still be alive. Maybe if I'd asked him to go running with me every now and then, he'd still be here, meeting you. Or maybe, if he'd just gone to the healer that blasted day for his physical instead of cancelling to come watch me play quidditch, they would have found the problem in time."

He looked like he was hurting, too. I hated to see people hurting. That was part of the reason I wanted to be a curse breaker because at least then I could change some of the negativity in the world. But right now, I had no idea what to do.

After a minute or so, I turned back toward him. I'd never been very good at apologizing, but I'd brought up the subject matter.

"I'm sorry," I said softly.

He looked at me sharply.

"You don't have anything to apologize for. You didn't cause it."

"I'm sorry for your loss, then."

I looked down, suddenly interested in my tea again. I heard James put his mug down on the counter. I figured he would still be upset with me. I wasn't expecting to feel his arm go around me and pull me the six or so inches it took to be up against his body. I was quickly and completely embraced in his hug. I didn't get too many hugs anymore, and he was warm. I pulled back after a second, and he quickly backed off.

"Sorry, Lily. I'm not quite sure what I was thinking and…"

He broke off as I leaned back into the hug after depositing my mug a safe distance away. His arms slowly slipped back around my body. It had been a while since I had been hugged like that. He'd hugged me a couple of times, but not like this. There hadn't been anyone who'd held me like that since my mum had died. My dad wasn't big on hugs. The last person who had before that, other than my mum, was probably Sev. I noticed that James had burrowed his face into my hair and my face lay against the hollow of his shoulder. He smelled amazing, and my heart speed up a bit. It was comforting with the way his hands were rubbing circles on my back. It made me forget about my nightmare and any other worries I had. It was just us. I didn't know how long we sat there like that for, but by the time we broke apart, I had to use a heating charm on my tepid tea.

After we finished our tea in silence, we both crept back up the stairs and I headed back to my room.

"Hey Lily," James said softly, pausing outside the door to his room. "Goodnight. And Happy Christmas Eve."

I stopped at the door. He was right. It was well after midnight, making it Christmas Eve. I smiled.

"You too James," I said before pushing open my door. "And goodnight."