Author's Note: Let's all sing the 'I haven't updated in forever and I suck I'm so sorry' song. It has a very rousing chorus to the tune of 'I'll make this one longer to make up for it'.
Pippin Took was a cereal killer. Cheerios, Fruit Loops, Frosted Flakes, you name it, he ate it. While this provided him with a good deal of grain, it was less than beneficial to his morning productivity.
That was how he ended up in his pajamas at three in the afternoon, bowl in one hand and spoon in the other. As the television blasted out the sounds of New Zealand's Next Top Bottle (a game show pitting water battle companies against one another) Pippin considered the bonuses of being a musician. First and foremost, rehearsal could be canceled at a moments notice. In this case, Gandalf and most of the orchestra (Pippin, thankfully, not included) had contracted the flu that was going around and everyone, therefore, had been allowed to stay home.
The first thing on Pippin's list had been to stay in bed for several hours longer than strictly necessary. The second thing on his list had been to rip up the list and settle in for a few hours of bad reality television and snacking. Not that he didn't watch intellectual television. On the contrary, he also enjoyed movies about mission/quest/things (or as his cousin Merry called them, 'action/adventure films').
It was around five when Pippin remembered that he had meant to go check on Merry (who conveniently lived in the apartment across the street). Tucking myriad medicinal ingredients under his arm, he made his way across the harrowingly long distance (Pippin had a decidedly melodramatic view of life. Or lazy. Whichever you prefer).
As our hero intrepidly made his way across the street, he failed to notice the suspiciously ominous black car lurking across the street. A bright lad, but less observant than might be hoped. The car, however, noticed Pippin.
Duh, duh, duhhhhhh.
At any rate, Pippin had made it inside and was attempting to charm the toad-like receptionist into letting him upstairs. Merry would've let him up, but he was apparently unable to remove himself from the couch.
Toad Lady was being uncooperative. Pippin began to get desperate.
"Pleaaaase?" he whined, all pretense of charm abandoned. Toad Lady peered over the rims of her glasses before shrugging.
"Whatever," she croaked. Pippin jumped up and down in his excitement. Dashing to the elevator, he accidentally ran into the fellow leaving it.
"Sorry," Pippin called over his shoulder, to the sounds of his victim's increasingly inventive invective. The doors closed abruptly and Pippin hummed happily to himself, all thought of angry tenants suddenly forgotten. He drummed idly on the hastily assembled care package he was carrying.
After what seemed an eternity to someone of Pippin's short attention span, the elevator reached Merry's floor with a self-satisfied ding. Elevator doors, as every fan of Douglas Adams knows, are terrifically smug beings not worth wasting time on. Pippin, due to his preference for comic books, had never read The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy but he still had a vague dislike of elevators.
Pippin glanced about the hallway and marched along to Merry's door. He knocked in much the same way as he spoke; loudly and with a distinctive accent. If knocking had accents, which it doesn't. You know what, forget the metaphor.
Pippin knocked on Merry's door.
"You have a key, Pip," said a muffled voice from within the apartment. At least, that's what it was meant to say. It came out as more of a 'mmlhdaioerfeyrrweo,' which is unfortunatley not what Merry was going for. Fortunately for Merry, Pippin had by this time remembered that he did, in fact, possess a key to the apartment. Handy, that. Pippin wondered why his cousin hadn't thought to mention it.
Pippin cheerfully skipped into the apartment but was brought up short by the sight of his cousin. Yowza, was Merry ever sick. Pippin's bright smile softened.
"Are you here to cheer me up?" Merry asked.
"No Merry," said Pippin, "I'm going to look after you,"
Merry looked up at his cousin for a minute. Then, he laughed. Most inelegantly.
Pippin chose to ignore his cousin's sudden mirth. No doubt Merry's mind had been addled by his illness, he decided. Then, like the industrious little fellow he (almost) was, he set about making the Ultimate Tookish Wellness Foody Thingy, handed down from generation to generation (with slight name variations as it went). Pippin began to cook, reading the instructions to himself.
"Step One: Cereal. Pour in two or three cereals of the sick person's choosing into a large bowl. Add milk (regular, chocolate, strawberry, whatever floats your boat). Chocolate, Merry? Alright. Step Two: Protein. The Bacon and Peanut Butter sandwich, most revered of all Tookish food items, yada yada yada. Toast a bagel, spread peanut butter over said bagel (both sides) and then put a lovely helping of bacon on top. Delicioso. Step Three: More protein. Two words for you; Bacon Waffles. Make the waffle mix, put in bacon bits (real bacon, not that store bought crap you get in the little packages) and then make the waffles. Awesome." Pippin hummed happily to himself.
"Pip, I can't eat all of that," Merry protested.
"You can and you will,"
It was in the midst of this idyllic scene that the true danger of the aforementioned ominous car was revealed. As Merry turned on the news channel (News Zealand™) these terrible words were announced to the world:
"Frodo Baggins, heir to the famous writer Bilbo Baggins, was found earlier this afternoon in the back of an alley. It appears that he had been stabbed. Baggins is currently in hospital, with no word as to when he will be released."
Reeling from the news of their friend's attack, Merry and Pippin glanced at one another and quickly prepared to go to the hospital.
Pippin had a moment of clarity, suddenly remembering the black van from earlier. A vague feeling of unease settled in the pit of his stomach and he began to have an inkling of the trouble the Fellowship might be in.
The Mordorchestra had struck, and not for the last time.
Author's Note: Friendly reminder that if you don't ship one of my ships, it's okay not to read this. Have a lovely day, all of you!
