Author's note: Not as graphic as the one before. But a lot of what happened in the last chapter is hinted at. Decide for yourself if you want to read it. I won't be offended.

Leo paused as he heard the sound of something hard hitting the wall. He looked at the door of the lab, even raised his hand to knock to see if everything is all right. But then he sighed and let his hand fall back to his side. Don made his feelings very clear. He wanted nothing to do with Leo right now. He only hoped that when he got back after getting Raph where he was going...well, hopefully, things will get better.

He slunk into the living room and dropped listlessly onto the couch. Mikey was playing some kind of crazy looking RPG or something but paused it the minute he saw Leo's face. "Bro, what's up? You look like you just found out your favorite comic book character died or something."

"Nothing's the matter," Leo said woodenly, as he sank deeper in the couch, and closed his eyes.
"Yeah, cause you totally look pumped right how…"Mike quipped, the worry in his eyes contrasting with the playful tone.

He waited for Leo to respond, and when it became clear that he won't, sighed in frustration. "Come on, talk to me! You know what I'm like when I get ignored."
"Yeah, I still remember when you burped onion in my face when I was doing Katas a few times.."
Despite the grumble, there was a faint smile that momentarily crossed the terrapin's mouth. Mikey took it as a hopeful sign.

"So, why risk that kind of horrific payback? Just spill and get it over with. Or...join me for a session of epic gaming. Your choice."
"Just what are you playing anyway?"
"Morrowind, the special two-player edition. It's boss."

"It has only one boss?"
"No way, dude! It IS boss! You know, dope, Rocking? The most awesome thing ever?"
"I...sure. How do you play?"
"Well, let me save first, and I'll totally hook you up."

"Is it just me, or have you got, I don't know, Slangier than before."
"Hey, I'm with….or was with kids a lot. I picked up a lot of leetspeek, ya know?"
"Oh...sure. Clear as mud." Leo muttered as he watched Mikey's fingers move with lightening sureness as he saved his game and got a new game started. As he was prompted through a character creation with Mikey's character in tow, he sighed and asked, "How am I ever going to get through to Donnie? You have any ideas, Mikey?"
"Oh! I thought that was what was putting your shell in knots."
"Can you just be serious?"
"I am...seriously confused why you picked Spellsword as your class."
"...well, the personality test picked it for me. "
"Dude, that was just a suggestion. You do know they expect you to do magic, right?"
"Sounds like fun. Kinda. Anyway, you're changing the topic."

"Although I approve of the race. Dark Elf. That would be a good mix for the class."
"Mikey…"
"Okay, okay! Geesh. Well, let me ask you some questions, kay?"
"Sure."
"Did you talk to Donnie?"
"You know I did. Several times!"
"Was he receptive?"
"A couple of times I thought he might be..before…"
"Before what, Bro?"

"It went south again."
Mikey made a face as he finished his own class questionnaire. "Yeah, you been having serious turtle luck with him."

"So? what am I doing wrong?"
"Leave him alone."
"Wait, huh?"
"Leave him alone." Mikey paused the game again and looked at Leo, a strangely serious expression on his face. "Bro, you did everything you could, short of begging. Now it's all in his court. Let him work what you said out in his head. Give him time to deal with everything, on his own time. You try to do anything more, you'll drive him away."

"Mikey, I never thought about it like that." Leo blinked, looking back at his baby brother with an expression of surprise. "When did you get this wise?"
"I told you before, you guys always underestimated me! I have been saying that for years...Woot!" Mikey suddenly grinned infectiously. "The boring parts over, now for the real game!"
Leo shook his head as he joined his brother in the gameplay. He found himself slowly being pulled in. Enough to know what is going on anyway, and care how it affected LeoLance, anyway. But the rest of his mind was going over Mikey's advice. It was good advice too. But it made him remember all too well another time. One where he had to walk away, when every instinct begged to help the brother who needed his help, in favor of the greater good. One he still never thought of without a twinge of guilt

"Don't the spores affect you at all?" Donnie asked, turning wide eyes to stare at his brother in something like awe.

Leo sighed. He didn't know what to say. If he confessed just how much the spores were affecting him. If he confessed how sure he was that he was failing them as a leader, and how much it will lead to all of their doom, then how will Donnie keep trusting him enough to keep pushing through his own fear? But he knew that lying was not going to work either.

"Of course I do. But…"Leo started to say, Still thinking over what he was going to say to his little brother, but then pause at the expression on his brother's face. Donnie was still a bit wide-eyed, but now his mouth was wide open too. "Donnie? Are you okay? Why...why are you staring at me like that?"
Donnie blinked. Still staring, he started reaching his hand out. "Leo?" He asked, his voice full of fear and worry.
Leo took his hand. "Donnie. I'm here. What's wrong?"

Donnie's gaze dropped to Leo's plastron, and Leo could swear that he went at least four shades paler. He seemed to stagger back, his hands moving as though to catch something. But there was nothing in his arms. There was nothing to make him stagger. "No!"

"What the shell? Donnie, if you don't start talking." Leo warned as panic clawed at his mind like a pack of rabid kittens. Wait, kittens? he's been around Mikey too long! And where did that crazy thought even come from? Shell, get it together, Leo!

He woke up when he noticed Donnie was now almost sitting, and he was still frantically doing...something with his hands in the air. If Leo had to guess, he would say Donnie was trying to get the pulse of a ghost of something. Then his eyes widened. The pile of mushrooms Donnie fell in! That was a huge amount of spores he sent up! They must be affecting him! Leaning down, he grabbed Donnie by the shoulders and shook him. "Donnie, whatever you are seeing is not real. You got to listen to me."
Donnie whimpered. He didn't seem to hear Leo at all. "Come on.." He muttered frantically. "Come on, Be alive! Breath!"

Leo blinked, his grip slackening. "What...who the shell are you talking to?"

He looked down. Nothing but air. "Who are you talking to, Donnie? Is….do you see someone hurt? Donnie, nobody is there. Everyone is fine."

Donnie's head snapped up, his hands finally stilled their frantic activity. Leo felt a surge of hope. Finally, he was getting through. HIs hope was dashed the next instant.

"Karai?" Donnie gasped, staring straight at Leo's face.

Leo felt all the blood drain from his face. "No, she's not here. Do you see Karai?"

He watched in fearful fascination as Donnie's face twisted in rage and pain. "How could you!"

"How could I….Donnie!" Leo shouted loudly in Donnie's face. "Donnie! Snap out of it! Listen to me!"

"The others?" Donnie said in a whisper, the only response Leo got from him. It was clear from the glaze of his eyes that nothing from the real world was getting through to him. He was locked in his own head. "The others will hunt you down, Karai! There is nowhere that you will be safe!"

Leo pulled away, his own mind reeling from fear, as he watched his brother drift further and further into his own mind. "Oh, no." He whispered, in a shaky voice. "What have I done?"

He started to shake. He had thought he was helping Donnie, when He got him to calm down earlier. But what if he only made it worse. What if too many spores caused someone to go psychotic. What if he would have been better off if Leo let him get away earlier? What if…
Donnie's strangled moan of pain woke Leo up in time to see his taller brother fall to his knees. Hard. Leo flinched at the impact, even as he moved forward again to catch him, just in case Donnie passed out. He thought Don was pale before. That was nothing compared to the palor he had now. "Oh, Donnie..I'm so sorry." He said, leaning his forehead on Donnie's noting absently how cold and clammy his brother's skin was. Still he was unprepared for Donnie's response.

"What are you waiting for? Kill me." He heard him whisper in a voice that was completely dead. It was so unlike Donnie's normal speech that Leo felt tears fill his eyes. What was Donnie seeing that broke him so completely.

Trying one last time, he capped Donnie's cheeks with his hands. "Donnie. Please. Snap out of it. I'm here. I'm real. What you see is not real. Please. Hear me. I'm right here. Please."

"Too….pathetic?" Donnie gasped, his face convulsing right before Leo's horrified gaze.

"No. Nobody is calling you that! Snap out of it!"

"too weak?" In a softer, sad voice, as though Donnie was already accepting this as the truth. That he was sad, pathetic and weak. Leo felt the tears he been trying to keep back flow down his face. He was right in front of his brother, watching him practically self-destruct, and there was not a stinking thing he can do about it. Impulsively, he wrapped his arms around Donnie. Donnie was so thin. Why didn't he notice just how thin he was. "Please. I'm right here. Hear me. You're not sad or weak or any of that. You're my brother. I love you. Hear me."

He squeezed as hard as he dared. He spoke his most tender way. But Donnie never heard, never noticed. He hung his head, and weep. As he cried, he watched Donnie, with reverence. start moving small rocks around, even kissing one. And he saw his brother cry as well. Deep wracking sobs of grief. When he stopped, he looked up, right at Leo but Leo was not fooled this time. Those blank brown orbs saw only what was going on in his head. They saw nothing in the real world. They didn't see him. But the words he heard his brother speak, between the sobs that finally broke out, broke Leo's heart clean in two. It was a low, continuous chant, never getting louder, never breaking from its pattern.

"Please don't be dead. Please….please don't be dead. I am so sorry. I failed. I failed all of you. Please dont be dead. Please forgive me. I'm so sorry I'm so weak. Please let this be a dream. Don't be dead. Please don't be dead."

Leo jerked away, his heart racing, his mind running a thousand miles a minute. This is bad! This is very, very bad! What if Donnie was mad forever? What had he done? Oh, What has he done to his brother? Who was Donnie seeing as dead? Was it him? HIs other brothers? Who? And why did Donnie not try to call any of them that were left. Surely, surely it was not all of them?

He looked down the tunnel, and something Donnie said rang through his mind, causing him to calm somewhat. That the heart of this madness was down that way. That if they end whatever was guiding it, then the madness would end. But how could he just leave Donnie in the state he was in?

He looked back down at Donnie, who was curled up in a pathetic huddle, now and then, tenderly stroking one or another of the rocks around him that was really creeping Leo out, his continuous chant in a sob-choked voice that was starting to get raspy from thirst and constant use. How could he leave his brother like this? If an enemy came, he would never be able to defend himself. And if Leo did leave him, and still couldn't fix this? What if it was already too late?

As he stood there in indesigion, Raph's voice floated over to him. "Wow, Leo. Just wow. You really stepped in it this time!"

"sad, dude." Mikey's voice came up next, more pitying but still more mocking than sympathizing. But Raph's voice was cold and bitter.

"You failed us, Leo. You failed us all. You're not a leader! Your a joke! I should have been made leader, not you!"
"Even I would have done better, bro. But hey, nobody's perfect. I'm sure we will forgive you in time…" A pause, then Mikey added mockingly. "If we are alive by then. Or sane. I don't think Don-san would be very sane, do you?"

"Lamolardo!" Raph taunted.

"Loser!" Chimed in with creepy cheerfulness. "What a Loser!"

"Stop it, you guys." Leo said, his voice cracking as he came out of his shock enough to fight the mocking voices.

"He says stop it!" Raph sneered, derisively. "Where did I hear that from? Oh, yeah. He told it to Donnie."
"Yeah, he got Donnie to calm down. That was a good job, I guess." Mikey said, in a way that Leo could almost see the shrug.

"Yeah, but look at Donnie now!" Raph shot back. "Yeah, he got through Donnie's fear before. But now he managed to make everything ten times worse!"
"Totally cracked. Nice move, Leo. Check and mate, bro!"
"Shut ut! Shut up now!" Leo screamed.

Standing up, he looked at Donnie one last time, a long lingering glance that mutely asked pardon. But he was not going to do him any good if he stayed. If he continued on, there was a slim chance that he can do something. So, after searching Donnie for any and all weapons that was on him, just in case he did something stupid while Leo was away, Leo stood and did the most difficult, gut-wrenching decision of his short life. He walked away. the voices of his absent, yet persistent other brothers hounding each and every step, and the memory of his third brother tugging away at his soul and conscience