The remainder of March, April, and the majority of May were pure bliss. They spent their time in those little quarters in the dungeons talking, laughing, fighting, and having an obscene amount of sex. They weren't in love, but they were happier with each other than either had been in a very, very long time. It was like a private world, somewhere that no one could touch. Not Dumbledore, the Order, Harry, or bloody Tonks. And they lived for those late nights, those sleepy Sunday mornings. Remus' spying was often rudely interrupted by a flash of Severus's face, how it had contorted in what seemed like pain (Remus knew better), and a small tingling sensation where he had been kissed (oh, yes, there). Severus would grade papers whilst his students copied notes, and would absently stroke the spot where Remus had playfully bitten him the night previously (his leg? What, was he hungry?), and nearly let a fistfight break out between Malfoy and Weasley when an image of Remus' sleeping, delicate face floated through the forefront of his mind. They had become each other's substitute for the alcohol they had tried to drown in, had become the escape they both so wanted.

……………………..

As June approached, however, life outside those walls began to creep in. Severus had been looking rather drawn, nearly slapping Remus out of sheer irritation when the man would treat him, as Severus said, "the way an overprotective mother would treat her four-year old." To which Remus replied in affronted tones, "I want to make sure you're all right." Severus stared at him angrily. "Why?" This led to an explosive fight, and several things were thrown. Then Severus grabbed Remus and they fucked angrily, but held each other quietly afterwards, nuzzling their shoulders and necks and cheeks, knowing it was an apology of sorts. A poor one, but an apology nonetheless.

…………………….

Remus, too, was irritable. He had been happy for the last month or so, and Tonks took it as a sign Remus was obviously in love with her. Remus fucked her three more times, and the third time he told Severus. Severus yelled, a reaction Remus didn't quite expect (why he didn't was anyone's guess). He was so angry that Remus thought he would begin to cry, and was rather frightened at seeing Severus nearly lose his composure; when Severus told him to leave, Remus did. He returned, three hours later, to see Severus sitting on his bed in his nightclothes, looking at his hands. Silently, Remus walked over to the silent, still man. Severus kept staring at his hands. Remus kissed him gently, and when he pulled away saw that Severus's eyes were rimmed ever-so-slightly with red, which struck him as incredibly sad and made him feel terrible. Remus kissed him and lowered him down on the bed. They made slow love, with Remus whispering "I'm sorry" and "Never again" the entire time. Severus didn't say anything.

Remus didn't have sex with Tonks again until their wedding night.

……………………….

Their anxiety levels were extremely high by the end of June. Severus knew what was coming, and Remus suspected that something may be happening soon, something explosive. The air of the world felt antsy, anxious, like something was about to snap. One night in mid-June Remus found Severus guzzling a bottle of vodka all alone.

"Severus? What are you doing?" Remus asked, sitting beside him (on the newly-transfigured couch), looking inquiringly at the pale, plain man.

"Drinking," he rasped, licking his lips.

"But," said Remus quietly. "You… we haven't had a drink since…"

"Since March, yes," he growled, placing the vodka bottle unceremoniously on the floor. "And why not? No doubt you've felt it. Dumbledore and Potter meeting at all hours of the night, finals are on their way, everything is more tense."

"Yes, I have noticed," said Remus, taking his boots off.

"And you've also noticed that all of these great happenings seem to occur at the end of the school year? And that it is quite close?"

"Naturally. It's funny how those things work…" Remus chuckled, scratching his chin.

"It is," said Severus solemnly.

"So something is definitely happening, then? A big… battle? An attack, something?"

"I don't know," said Severus, rubbing his forearm distractedly. "Don't look at me like that, Remus, I really don't know."

"So that's why you're drinking?" asked Remus, a slight smile on his lips. "Or is it because of the final exams?" Severus looked at him and took his hand, a sad twinge on his lips.

"No, it's…" he sighed and looked away, clutching Remus' hand even harder. "You can't come back here."

Remus stared, a stunned silence buzzing through the air between them. "What?"

"You can't come back. After tonight."

"What, you're… throwing me away? Severus, don't be stupid…"

"No, Remus," said Severus sharply. "You're not to come back to me. It's too… too…" He looked pained. Remus shifted to face him.

"Dangerous?" Severus glared at him.

"No more talking," he hissed, leaning into Remus. Remus' heart plummeted, and he felt tears pricking at his eyes as Severus's lips caught his, as they became entangled on the couch, as clothes were shed, as places were touched, kissed, claimed... as they lay drenched in sweat and other things, as Remus put on his clothes quickly, as he left without saying goodbye. And Remus finally did cry when he returned to the little hovel he had been calling home, knowing nothing and suspecting everything.