a/n The italics are the lyrics to the song "Storm" by Lifehouse. I suggest you listen to it during this chapter. It sets the mood.
- Katherine -
Everything about Jack Kelly being in her life seemed like a mistake. It had been a month since they'd first met. He had not visited her window since those first two times just after the strike had ended. It was now early September. She saw him about the office in the afternoon. Carrying things for the typing pool girls. Comparing styles with Arthur. Sketching the other writers in candid moments and giving out the finished products. She had a regular beat, a weekly column to fill with news on any strikes and union news. It was responsibility and pressure that she enjoyed except that she was constantly distracted by Jack. He didn't do anything to actively distract her. Just his presence threw her into a tizzy. He'd eat his lunch leaning on her desk if he was in the newsroom at lunch time, reading over her shoulder and commenting on union happenings. It was these conversation that brought her to understand just how involved he was getting down at the docks. Unlike with the newsies, he wasn't technically a leader but he was a voice in the ear of the leaders.
"So much for being just a blowhard." She muttered as she typed out a quote from Owen, one of the dock leaders. "He's basically putting words into their mouths."
She sat in her apartments finishing her work for the day. Jack had not been by the office that day. She wondered what he did when he wasn't around her and why she felt like she didn't exist when she wasn't with him. They hadn't kissed or even touched since that night just after the strike had ended. Katherine rolled her shoulders back at the memory. She was grateful for the space Jack had given her. She was afraid the next time he touched her she'd shatter. She still considered him more than a friend. She hoped that time would prove her right.
Standing at her window that September evening looking out on the city as storm clouds rolled in Katherine let her thoughts drift. Her 17th birthday was fast approaching. She'd recently fought with her family once more about her life but she'd also gotten back into her routine from before the strike. Breakfast, personal writing, interviews, lunch, afternoon reports, supper, reading, bed. And with each passing day she felt herself grow more restless. That scared her. She was fearless to some degree. Only one thing truly terrified her. Storms. Thunder. Lightning. Rain. The sight of the churning seas.
How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form.
The water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head
She wanted to be independant. But that meant a daily fight against society, family, and inner inhibitions. Waves of judgement, of pressure to be more than any man, more than any women, of conflicting opinions, of other people's pains shared in hushed whispers, of the shouts of every oppressed man, woman and child that lived the American dream seemed to rise and fall over her. She felt like she was drowning.
If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright
Jack. His smile. His green-brown eyes that sparked with determination and confidence. His mussed hair. His muscles as he moved crates on the docks. His voice as he talked about freedom. His cries of injustice. His smirk at victory. Somehow, he was firm ground in her storm. and yet…
I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Because I'm so used to living underneath the surface
He was the strongest gale in her storm. Loving him was fascinating. He commanded attention. He demanded the best of people. He refused help unless he could return the favor. He smiled and frowned seconds apart like the ebb and flow of the tide. She grew restless to know this idea of freedom he spoke of and the sense of belonging he promoted. She felt like for the past year she'd only been surviving and with him she might learn to live.
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright
Somehow, loving another person could define you without stealing your identity. Lighting broke the sky and Katherine couldn't resist a shiver of fear. She counted the time between light and sound like Joe, her brother, had taught her. The rain wasn't falling yet but it would. Thunder rolled. She found strength to keep standing there at the window. She wrapped her arms around her stomach as the first drops of rain hit the pain, gaining speed.
If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light
Something started to hit the window too insistently to be raindrops. Katherine jumped back and threw back the sash. Standing out there, dripping wet, stood Jack Kelly. She opened the window.
"Ace, I am so sorry. I was coming from a meeting uptown when the storm hit."
Katherine stood back and smiled, grateful to see his face. "Come in, I'll fetch you a towel."
Jack climbed through the window and Katherine took off into the other room to get a towel. He's just stood there by the window, dripping onto her wood floor. She handed him a towel and pointed to the bathroom. "You can take a warm shower if you want. I think I have some trousers that I just finished mending for my brother. We can put your clothes by the heater."
Jack smiled at her. "Ace, you are an angel." Then taking the towel he headed into the bathroom. Katherine wanted to laugh. She had wanted to see him and now here he was after a month of only seeing each other in crowds and public spaces. Plus he'd been dripping wet. She was reminded of when she'd gotten Lorna, Constance's fluffy white cat wet, and seen just how small it was without it's fur. The opposite reaction happened with Jack. Could he really be that...impressive? Thunder interrupted her thoughts and Katherine remembered the storm. She left a pair of trousers and underclothes for him on a chair by the door, heard the shower start to run and moved to her small kitchenette to make coffee.
- Jack -
This was not part of the plan. This storm. Needing to get inside out of it. Being here in her shower (how the hell did she have one of these anyway?). Sometimes life threw a wrench in your plans. He'd kept his distance to try and figure a way to get more self control. Jack breathed deep and stepped out of the warm stream of water. He shut it off, dried off and stuck his head out of the door to see a clothes piled on the chair in front of him. He grabbed them and got himself dressed. When he exited the bathroom Katherine stood at the stove brewing what smelt like coffee. He smiled at her back. It was good to be able to look at her without anyone there to catch him for looking too long. He dried his hair and lay his clothes by the heater. A crack of thunder rattled the windows and Katherine jumped, a small whimper escaping her lips.
"You alright Ace?"
Katherine turned to face him. Jack remembered he didn't have a shirt on when her cheeks colored. Then her eyes narrowed.
"What are those from?"
He had forgotten some of his scars could be seen low on his ribcage. He didn't want to delve into this. So he stayed silent. Katherine approached, hand outstretched. She'd want to see how far back the scars went. Jack stepped away from her, keeping his back to the wall and grabbed wrist.
"They're old."
Katherine frowned at him. "Jack. Let me see."
Jack tried to resist but she freed her hand and taking him by the shoulder she turned him so she could followed the path from his rib cage to the canvas of pain on his back. She hissed and Jack flinched at the sound then pillowed his forehead in his folded arms against the wall. Katherine's light touch tranced his scars with a kind of reverence. Jack turned so he could see her over his shoulder. She stepped away from him, hand to her mouth. "Come have coffee."
He obliged her. As she move to the table, mugs in hand, thunder crack once again. She jumped and spilt some of the coffee on her wrist.
"Damn." She set down the mug and pulled off her sweater and began to roll up her sleeve.
"You don't like thunder, do you?" Jack reached for the mug and tasted the brew with the tip of his tongue to make sure it wouldn't scald his mouth.
Katherine also sat and reached for her own mug. "What gave me away?"
Jack just laughed. Katherine sighed and ran a hand through her hair and removed the clips allowing it to spill around her face. She moved the twist it up behind her head and secure it with a stray pencil. Her movements entranced him. She was so graceful and vivacious.
"It's a silly school girls fear."
Jack leaned forward, using his lack of shirt to allow his muscles to ease. His ribs always ached on rainy days, left over from the bad mending they'd once gotten. "Not silly."
She caught his eyes and brought her hands away from her hair. Once they rest on the table she brought one to hold his. "If you say so Mr. Kelly."
"I do."
"What are your scars from?"
Jack grimaced into his cup and squeeze her fingers in reflex to the memories. "Katherine, I don't want to talk about that."
"You should."
Jack glared at her. "I'd rather not."
Katherine glared back, her voice sharp with reproach. "If you hold them in the memories will never ease. Take me for example. I am afraid of thunder because even when I was very little and didn't know what it was my Father wouldn't let me climb in and sleep with my Mother. He made me stay in my big, dark, lonely room because Pulitzers "face their fears". Jack, I was 4. It's my first clear memory."
Jack set down his cup and reached for her hands. He didn't really know how to reply. What kind of man pushed his own children away. "That's awful, Katherine."
Katherine let him take her hands but her face didn't soften. "But it happened and I am learning to let it go. My Father was not a loving man. I know that. I accept that it limits how I see things. Now you share."
Jack shook his head. "My memories aren't like that. Mine are..."
"Worse. Which is why you need to tell someone."
Katherine stood and taking him by the hands she led him to the sofa in her sitting room. She pushed him to sit and then wrapping them both in a large afghan she lay against his chest. He could feel her heartbeat as it began to beat in time with his own.
"Jack, it'll get my mind off the storm. Just close your eyes and talk."
He breathed in her scent and spoke. "I got the scars in the refuge."
Katherine nodded. "I assumed as much. What else?"
Jack refused to talk. He wasn't going to break her innocence. "Ace, I don't want you to know about this kind of stuff."
Katherine looked up at him. "Please. I want to listen to you."
Jack swallowed at the honesty in her eyes but he wouldn't let her bend him. "No."
She sat up. the afghan slipped off them. Her skirts were tangled about her legs which she shift so they were strewn across his own, her feet didn't quite reach the floor. She look fearsome, glaring at him.
"That is not a tone to take with a lady."
Jack, lounging full length across the sofa, just smirked.
"Jack Kelly, you…"
"Are not going to yield in this."
He knew his tone was hard, brokering no compromise.
She started to talk but it was cut off by another peal of thunder. She whimpered. Jack reached up to rub her arm. He began to sit up, wrapping himself around her instinctively. He felt the need to guard her fears. "Katherine, this is not the time dredge up my past. Tonight, we'll face your fears. Mine will come in time."
Katherine, now securely trapped in his arms, squinted up at him. "Fears?"
Jack pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Yes. Now shush, sleep."
She snuggled in against him as lightening lit up the room and thunder cracked. Miraculously she dropped the subject. Soon enough she fell asleep on him. He listened to the thunder start to fade and the rain let up. Then with all the gentleness he could he started to move her to her bed. She woke as they crossed the room.
"Jack?"
"I'm sorry if I woke you."
Katherine smiled up at him and shifted indicating she wanted to be set down. "No worries. Has it stopped raining?"
"Yeah, so I better go."
Katherine nodded. "Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow right?"
"Yeah."
Her hair had fallen out of it's pencil bun and she looked rumpled but very lovely. Her eyes were bleary with sleep. she didn't move toward the bedroom, just stood there, arms wrapped around her middle. She took a deep breath
"You won't ignore me?"
Jack felt his stomach jolt. "I ignore you?"
Katherine nodded. Sleepiness made her honest. "You do. Why? I thought we were in love."
Jack felt like her gaze had paralyzed him. "We are."
"But you don't look at me and you let me eat lunch alone and you don't visit."
Jack pulled a hair through his hair. His plan obviously had some holes in it. She snickered. He shot her a glance of confusion.
"You've made your hair stand on end."
Jack smiled at her and took a step towards her. "Can you trust that it's my love for you that makes me do things like that?"
Katherine shook her head. After learning that her father had ignore the pleas of four-year-old Katherine he wasn't surprised. Finding he could move again Jack stepped forward, took her by the shoulders and leaned his forehead against hers. "What will show you that I love you?"
"Just be around. I feel alone in this big wide world. I need you around."
Jack smirked then. Time to put the plan aside and just live life for a while. "Alright, I can do that. Now get to bed."
She smirked up at him. "You'll stay here?"
Jack raised an eyebrow. "No. I have broken enough rules tonight. I am going to my place. But I'll walk you to work tomorrow."
Katherine nodded. Then stepping up on tiptoe she kissed his stubbled cheek. "Goodnight, my love."
"Goodnight, Ace."
Jack didn't sleep when he got back to his place. He paced the floor and wondered what it would be like to actively court a girl like Katherine and decided he didn't really need her father's permission. Not a Father who didn't know how to show love.
