Sorry for the really long hiatus, I think it's safe to say that I've got most of my things sorted out and I'm going to come back to write more fanfiction. I also noticed that the last time I updated this fic was a little less than a year ago. Agh, I'm sorry for making you all wait this long...
I just noticed that I'm not allowed to put in two endings into one sentence. Like a ? and a ! together. So sometimes, when I write a question that is being said loudly, only the ! comes up since I put it first. Ayyyyyyy.
I'm bored. Therefore I write Mikida. (MikadoXKida). I ended up writing a lot of Mikida during my little hiatus but I resisted the urge to post. Mostly because a lot of them ended up not making much... sense. This one and a few more made the cut, but I'm probably going to be working on them to make them more... sensible? (Even though this one probably doesn't make much sense regardless XD)
Also, I debated this for a while, but I think I'll go into the realm of M rated Mikida fics. Plenty of the ideas went in that... general direction. So as an author, I do value your opinions. Do you guys think that I should just turn this oneshot collection into an M-rated fic? Since I'm really tempted to. But for those who want softer fics, I could make another oneshot collection solely for M-rated Mikida.
Leave a comment in the review box and I'll be back shortly with a new short :)
For now enjoy the current short, I thought that the last one was kind of... dark so I wanted to write something with a happier tone. Slight Boss!Kado at the end.
Pick-Up Lines
He refused to. Absolutely. There was no argument. His mind was set and his opinion would most definitely NOT change. Of all things he would stoop to doing for his blonde companion (yes companion, he was therefore demoted into a companion), this was the one thing he was going to refuse.
"Oh Mikado, won't you help a dear, DEAR, old friend in need~?"
Demoted into absolute stranger.
"C'monnnn~ I'm asking you for this one little favor!"
What's lower than an absolute stranger? A hobo? No, hobos were people who he could sympathize with. He could not sympathize with this... strange blonde boy. Who couldn't pick up girls if he tried. Oh yes, Mikado went there.
"Please? I promise I won't drag you out to hit on ladies for a week!"
Tempting... tempting off-NO! His opinion was absolute. He would not. No argu-
"2 weeks!"
Hnnnnghhhhhh...! Maybe Kida-kun knew what he was do-
"A month."
"...F-Fine."
Kida blinked, still holding up four fingers to signify 4 weeks. "Eh? Really?" Mikado smacked Kida's hand, huffing slightly.
"Would you prefer that I retract my accept-?" Hands flew over the raven head's mouth.
"Oh nonononono! This is great! Splendid! Beyond my wildest imagin- AGH!" Teeth sunk viciously into the blonde's palm and he pulled it back, gently nursing his now injured hand. He looked over to his friend, his face displaying betrayal of the highest degree. Mikado merely stuck out his tongue and settled on the futon, satisfied with the look on his dear, dear friend's face.
"Out with them then." Hey, he couldn't help the hum in his voice. After all, satisfaction does things to people after all.
Kida shot Mikado a glare before giving his hand one last loving rub and settling into a comfortable position on the futon as well. "Very well," He said stiffly. "Here I go." He cleared his throat and coughed a few times.
"My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in~" Kida ended the statement with a flirty wink. An awkward silence passed slowly.
"Oh god, ok I don't think I can do this after all. No I just..." Mikado shivered. "No."
Panic overtook the other boy and he held up his hands apologetically. "Ok ok, that one is no good then. I'll move on. I'll move on!"
"I-If you're going to move on h-hurry up already!" Mental bleach was going through his mind. God, the imagery. So unneeded Masaomi. So very unneeded.
"Just wait, I have to think of another one! I thought that one was pretty good too!"
Mikado's face scrunched up in horror. "No! Never use that one! Never!"
"I'm moving on! I'm moving on!" Kida tapped a finger to his lips. A low groan of concentration snaked its way out of his mouth. Blast it. These kinds of things were hard to come up with when he wasn't trying to hit on the ladies. The blonde chanced a glance at his dark haired friend. Mikado would make a rather splendid girl. Rather he's already fine the way he is.
He blinked. ...did I just have somewhat inappropriate thoughts of Mikado? He brushed it off. Not possible. I'm not interested in nuts, I'm interested in melons~!
Despite all this talk, he found himself looking at Mikado in a somewhat different light. With this new process, pick up lines were popping into his head at a rather rapid rate.
"I lost my phone number~" He winked and pointed at the other boy. "Can I have yours?" This was met with a blank stare. Kida held his position for a few more seconds. The blank stare persisted.
The blonde smiled slightly in his position. "You know if you're going to help me, you're going to have to cooperate just a tad more Mikado." The said boy blinked and snapped out of a slight daze.
"I'm sorry but I can't get over how... bad these are."
"Well that's mighty encouraging. Thank you Mikado. My pride is not hurt." He bowed slighty.
Mikado gave him an apologetic smile, chuckling lightly and nervously. "Maybe girls would like it if you didn't try to um... hit them in such a... noticeable way." He cleared his throat. "Y-You could tell them how you feel about them honestly..."
Kida gasped dramatically. Mikado blinked, getting worried. "You can't do that Mikado!" The dark haired boy frowned a bit.
"First of all, don't get me worried like that. And also, why not?" Kida held his hands up to his chest and sighed, shaking his head.
"That's the 1st rule of trying to hit on people! Never EVER involve your feelings until later!" The blonde wagged his index finger and shook his head. "Never ever!"
"...there are rules for hitting on people?" This was new. He never knew there were rules in hitting on people. There was just either you hit on them or you don't to Mikado. Mikado just... preferred to not to. He wasn't sure if anyone would appreciate them. If he didn't have to be totally honest, well that sort of changed the perspective on things.
Kida could see that Mikado was somewhat falling for the false information he just fed. Restraining a grin, he patted Mikado's shoulder. "I'll just keep going alrig-"
"I don't have to be completely honest?" The blonde blinked, his mouth still open.
"Um, er yes. Just um, feed them what they want to hear." Was Mikado actually asking him for girl advice?
"I... see." Mikado rubbed his chin. Kida was getting a bit freaked out and thus continued in an attempt to get back to normalcy.
"Um, let's see here, let's make like laundry softener and Snug-"
"I-Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?" Mikado fidgeted with his fingers a bit after talking.
As for Kida, his jaw dropped. Was Mikado hitting on him? Or was this just practice? Practice right? Yes, practice. Haha Mikado, Kida thought, you're a sneaky boy.
"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" Kida enjoyed the shades of red that the meek boy turned. You don't mess with Masaomi Kida and pick up lines! Yeah that's-
"There m-must be something wrong with my eyes, I-I can't seem to take them off you." Mikado proceeded to promptly turn red right after. Pick up lines weren't exactly... his thing. This particular one seemed to have a rather profound effect on the blonde.
"Mikado..." He licked his lips a bit and leaned in. Mikado's eyes started to widen. Kida tried to look suave and licked his lips again.
"Your lips look so lonely... Would they... uh..." He tilted his head a bit, leaning in more and fitting his lips mere inches away from the dark-haired boy's own. "...like to meet mine?"
Score! Oh how much he enjoyed that flabbergasted look on Mikado's face. Those red red cheeks were oh so satisfying! Kida began to grin, confident that he had won this one.
"K-Kida-kun." The dark haired boy was rather uncomfortable with the close proximity, it was clear. He shifted his eyes from side to side, he fidgeted nervously, and rubbed his arm once in a while. It was... cute. So cute that Kida just wanted to lean forward and-
"Mmph...!"
Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shitttttt...! The blonde quickly threw himself back from the other boy, eyes wild. Certainly he was playing with the idea of kissing his beloved friend but he wasn't exactly expecting to actually do it. Kida looked back to Mikado, panicking at the blank and red face of his friend.
Well what kind of expression did you expect him to have? Glee? Reality check Kida, this is Mikado. Mikado who likes Anri with her huge knockers. His mind babbled. Anri with the knockers who you like too. Because she has knockers and isn't too bad on the eyes. Mikado does not have knockers. You like knockers. Mikado has a cute face and isn't too bad on the eyes. You like cute fa- WHAT? He nearly shrieked out his last thought.
"Um, Kida-kun...?" The blonde let out a short scream of surprise and jumped up onto his feet.
"Y-Yeah Mikado? What's up? I'm good, what's cracking? What's the 411? What's going on? I'm good, I'm good. Yep." Kida proceeded to cross his arms and laugh softly, his pitch growing with every passing second.
An awkward silence passed, Kida's now extremely high pitched laughter the only sound in the room. The dark haired boy coughed lightly, and the blonde gulped.
"Hey... how... am I supposed to take that?"
"T-Take what Mikado?" The meek boy was getting up and it was making the blonde oh so very nervous.
"That. What you just did to me." He began to walk over to his nervous best friend. Said friend could have sworn he saw a glimmer in his saphire eyes.
"What the k... k... kiss you mean?" Why was Mikado so close? When did he hit the wall? Why was Mikado so motherflipping freaking hell close?
A faint smile came to Mikado's face. "Ah, so you admit it?" A low hum came from his throat and he continued to press Kida against the wall of the apartment.
"Ad... admit what?"
"That it was a kiss." Mikado ended his sentence by licking Kida's bottom lip. The blonde jumped and nearly smashed himself against the wall, trying to shrink away from his friend.
"Um that was to-totally unintentional! Completely!" He pushed his hands against the smaller boy's chest, trying to move away. Jesus Christ, why wasn't he moving away? Kida was pretty strong, he'd like to think of himself as the stronger of the two.
He was brought out of his thoughts when the smaller "weaker" boy grabbed his wrists with one hand and moved them to the side.
Mikado tsked and squeezed the wrists in hand. "Oh Masaomi," He almost purred, applying enough pressure to make the said boy wince. "You do have to be careful with your words." He brought his free hand up and gently ran fingers against the blonde's cheek. "You see since they can make or break a conversation." Fingers ran over lips now, enjoying the slight horror in Kida's eyes.
"But it's alright, Masaomi," Another squeeze hard enough to bruise.
"I'll have you either way." The whisper barely registered in Kida's mind before Mikado leaned and fitted their lips together.
Babe, do you work at Subway? Cuz you're giving me a footlong~
Don't get mad at the ending lol. It was getting to somewhere beyond a T rating... Anyway, read and review~
See you all next month!
