Just a friendly request: if anyone who reviews is British or has lived there for a prolonged amount of time, could you please tell me how I'm doing on the dialogue? I'm from the US, and this is my first attempt with British slang and such. Also, I apologize that this chapter is so dialogue heavy. But it had to be done.

"Hello? Hello? JJ?" Naomi walked into JJ's empty flat, using the spare key he'd told her (in much too many words) was taped above the mail slot inside the door. But empty wasn't quite the right word to describe JJ's flat; abandoned felt like a more accurate term. It didn't look like anyone had been in there for a while: pots lay messily all over the stove and counters and nearly every other space in the kitchen, dust lined the moth-eaten furniture, rugs and carpets and blankets fell threadbare and worn and full of holes all over the couches and chairs. His bedroom looked unused, full of messy, half-finished models and oddly un-mussed sheets. The bathroom had little toilet paper on the roll and none in the cupboards, no soap in the dish, no toothpaste on the counter. But then again, JJ had always been weird. Maybe he liked to keep his house this way.

Naomi decided to wait. She moved one of the horrible rugs onto the floor, tossed it down with no care. Not knowing when to be expecting JJ, she pulled out her phone. Whenever she used it, she always felt a twinge of guilt, because it was so... so... anti-idealist. She had been like that so much as a teenager, but she'd lost that when she'd lost the ability to be "revolutionary." At least, back in those days, having an open lesbian relationship had seemed fairly revolutionary to her. Too revolutionary. And from that point in time, her wildly liberal values, her passion for social change, her desire to care, had all been reduced from their former glory. She had become a shell of the old Naomi, the one with ideals and goals and aspirations and dreams. And for some reason, the only thing that reminded her of her past self was the very thing that had tragically, accidentally shattered those ideals onto the floor like a splintering of broken glass: her love for Emily.

"Naomi! Bollocks! You're coming today? Is today the fourteenth? I should've tidied, I should've gotten this place spruced up and nice looking and all and-"

"JJ."

"-and now you have to look at my pigsty, and it's not really a good first impression. Well, it's not a first impression, more like a first-time-in-four-years impression-"

"JJ!"

"- it's really horrendous, to have you walk in on all this. I'm, well, I can't keep house. I don't even try. I don't even live here really, I spend most of the time crashed at Freddie and Effy's place; have you seen them? They're brilliant. But you probably don't want to hear that because your teenage love turned into a heaping bit of heartache for you and Emily and she's been drunk non-stop for the past-"

"JJ!" Naomi lifted up her shirt, revealing her bra to him. It immediately stopped his rant.

He gulped, stared at her for a moment, waiting until she had put her shirt back down, fixed its wrinkles, before he spoke. "Emily does that to me all the time."

She allowed herself a laugh, but just a small one. "I know. She told me her trick years ago."

"Was that before or after you broke her heart?"

Naomi said nothing. JJ never, ever had been that blunt to her. Or anyone, as far as she knew. But then again, there was a lot she didn't know. A lot she had missed. "You've manned up, Jay. I didn't... think you'd be like this."

He walked away from her, into the kitchen to put away some of the pots. Or at least, that's what it seemed like. But more likely, he just wanted things to bang, to clatter. "You're avoiding the question. Which one is it?"

"Before." Her voice came out in a meager squeak, almost as if she didn't dare to admit it to JJ. He always seemed to know things before everyone else did- maybe it had something to do with that huge diagram he'd had on his wall in college. And then she remembered there hadn't been one in his bedroom. "What happened to you, Jay?"

"What are you talking about?"

She sighed, unsure of how to phrase this. "You seem- and don't take this the wrong way- more in control of yourself and everything."

"Normal?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

He finished with the pots for now, moving to sit at the newly clear table. "I did a lot of personal growth. It took determination, perseverance, and courage."

"I'm sure it did," she muttered.

"Determination," he put in quickly, "is a noun. It means 'the quality of being resolute; firmness of purpose.' Perseverance also belongs to the noun family, and it means 'steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.' Finally there's courage? Do you know what that means, Naomi?"

She was scared and clearly showed it. JJ was about to come down on her hard, all for things she deserved to hear. But knowing that she deserved to hear them didn't make it any easier to hear them. "It's... it's a noun. It means bravery. But it's a stronger word- it's more than bravery."

He smiled, and it was genuine. JJ had always liked having his little fun games, and he did indeed love to win them. "And do you have any of those traits?"

"I used to." Naomi had tears forming in her eyes, and they brought back to JJ with a painful jolt the tears that spewed from Emily in hopeless heaps when Naomi had betrayed her. Stabbed her in the fucking back. "God, I used to have morals. I used to have everything: passion, fire, morals, idealism, dreams-"

"Love?" JJ dropped his accusing tone, suddenly sensing that the root of the whole bloody thing was fast approaching, ready to swallow both of them in crashing wave.

"That, too." She allowed the corners of her mouth to quirk up, a tragic reminder of a much better time. "So much love I didn't know what to do with it... I got scared, JJ. Fucking terrified."

His face didn't show any sympathy, but his voice didn't turn back to stone, either. "And you think I haven't been? We were all terrified for you, when you left. Terrified for Emily, too. But not enough to run away."

"I didn't want to, OK!" Naomi pushed herself off the counter she'd been leaning on, her voice rising for the first time. "I didn't fucking decide one day to up and leave- well, I did, but not for the reasons you think! You don't know the bloody half of it!"
JJ remarkably managed to maintain his composure, and even managed to offer a challenge to the slightly raging Naomi: "Then tell me."

He couldn't predict what was going to happen next, what it was all going to do. She broke down. Absolutely fucking broke down. In that semi-insane way people do when the drugs fuck them up beyond belief. Only Naomi was completely sober, perfectly in her right state of mind. But JJ guessed that she probably wasn't quite in a proper mind to begin with.

"JJ... I don't know what to do! I don't fucking know! I fucking love her, JJ! I love her!" JJ could barely make out what she was saying, the garbled mess of words slurred by her tears and emotions.

"Then why did you leave her!" He was getting a bit angry with her, the way she acted as if she was the victim.

"I had to... I couldn't let her see me... like this..." Everything trailed off and she was no longer angry, everything became suddenly and creepily peaceful, tranquil.

He knew it was here- the big reveal, the reason she'd left. And he was almost positive it wouldn't be good enough. "Like what, Naomi?"

"Depressed."

"Depressed? That's it? You were sad?"

"No. Fucking clinically depressed! Suicidal, you twat! I didn't leave because I was just 'sad!'" Naomi hissed, clearly angry with him. "You of all people should understand that!"

He leaned back in his chair, using the kitchen table to prop himself up. "I understand mental disorders, Naomi. But... how bad was it? To make you go?"

She sniffled, finally letting the tears stop. But that was only because she didn't have anymore left, nor the strength to let them fall. "Every day was a battle. To stop myself from... ending it all. I- in my head, I knew that I couldn't let Emily see me like that. She'd think it was her fault. But it wasn't. She... she kept me going, made me stronger, made me feel real. And worth something. That was the thing: I didn't feel like I was worth it, like I wasn't worth a shit."

"Oh."

"That's all you have to say?"

"Even though I've made great strides, I'm still not a social butterfly." They both chuckled, relieving the tension. JJ wasn't about to let her go, though. He'd gotten this far and he wanted the whole story. "So that's where you've been? Learning to live with this?"

"Yeah. For the first two years, anyway. Then I had to sort myself out. Make myself... understand love and friends and how to tell people and who the fuck I like and who the fuck I love."

"Did you figure any of that out?"

She nodded. "All of it. That's how... I managed to come back. I figured out that love is an emotion, a feeling, something that can be felt by anyone, anywhere, at any time. And I happened to feel it for Emily Fitch, at college, four years ago. And friends are the fucking greatest gift in the world and I really ought to get more of those. As to telling people, I figure I'll say it if it comes up."

"Like when you explain why you left?" He gave her such a serious look it was hard to say no. Not like she would want to anyway; she'd come so far.

After clearing her throat, Naomi eked out, "Yeah. Like then."

"And what about who you like?"

"Boys and girls. Simple and clear. I like them both, but I only love one. A girl."

"Do her initials by chance happen to be E.F.?"

"Yes. She's quite lovely. Do you know her?"

JJ smirked. "Are you being coy?"

She paused. "A little bit."

"I like that. It's the old you."

Naomi let herself look happy, be happy. It had been a while. Even with the depression meds, she hadn't felt like everything would be normal. But now she had JJ on her side- sort of. "There's one more thing. I've been talking with Effy over e-mails; I never told her why I left, but she's kept me informed about everyone's lives. And recently... I sent her one saying I was leaving Bristol and everything about it behind. It was in my past, and I would need to abandon it all for a while. But I don't. I just need a bit of time without talking to Effy or you or anyone. Just a couple more days. And then I need to talk to Emily. If she'll have me. I just hope I don't go suicidal on her or anything... God. Fucking hell. I hate depression."

"I hate high-functioning autism," JJ put it.

"Cheers to the fucking broken," Naomi muttered. She folded her arms across her chest, looking quite horrible.

JJ sighed loudly, swallowing his pride, letting go of his absolute hatred for the girl, seeing her as someone in the same boat as him. "Naomi... um, er... would you like to stay? Here? For the night?"

She didn't say anything at first. Didn't move, didn't respond. Then, all of a sudden, she threw herself in his direction, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her head into his shoulder. "Thank you, JJ. Thank you."

He awkwardly stood up to brake the embrace. "Well, er, sure. You said you could use more friends, right?" She nodded sincerely, which caused him to break out into a broad smile. "You've got one. A tired one. I think we should both get some sleep. If you'll let me get into my fuzzy pajamas, I'll let you have the bed once I'm done."

"Oh, I don't need the bed. I don't want the bed."

"Don't be ridiculous. You're a guest." He was trying to be insistent and firm, but not sound demanding, which was how he usually got with this sort of thing.

"JJ. I haven't slept in a bed for four years. I'll be alright."

"Why haven't you?"

She sighed, hesitated, got all flustered. "Because... I can't bear to go to sleep without her in my arms, can't bear to wake up without her beside me."

He nodded, understood. And he walked away to put on his fuzzy pajamas and snuggle under his covers, while she grabbed one of the threadbare blankets and draped it over herself as she settled in on his old, lumpy couch.