After we hunted some elk we went to Bella, and Edwards meadow. It took my breath away. It reminded me…of…of…Shawne. I miss him.

Since I've become a vampire I haven't felt pain. But this painful wound on my heart hurt even more then changing. I saw Edwards face go from peacefulness to concern. I felt him put his hand on my shoulder. I wanted to shrug it off but I didn't want to hurt him.

"Well, we'll tell you our story" They sat down next to each other holding hands. I thought I found my someone in Shawn. I just realized my memories of him were very fuzzy. I concentrated really hard and was shocked at what I remembered. He was a lot like the…Cullen's.

As I was concentrating I must've missed half of the story. Oh no. Now I felt bad. I came in on the part when they had to camp in the mountains, to keep away from the newborns. When Edward said that they both froze.

"Hey! Why'd you guys st… Oh!" I laughed and they both let out a sigh. Then they continued. But I couldn't concentrate. Shawne could be a vampire. I could still be with him. I need to find a way to find him.

I noticed that they were looking at me. I smiled wryly. "I'm so sorry but I couldn't pay attention. This is the reason."

"You see I had one good friend. Because I was an orphan and an outcast. So the one person that was my good friend, turned out to be the love of my life. We have…er um were together for 4 years. I think. But I just then realized he was a lot like you guys. We never really kissed passionately. He kept saying I cant hurt you. Now I understand."

Bella leaned forward and hugged me. I hugged her back.

"What was his name?" Edward asked with a passionate expression.

"Shawne Deinter. He has jest black spiky hair. Around 6'5 super thin. Like 150 lbs."

"Ill ask Carlisle"

"Okay, thank you" As we ran home. My throat felt like it had burst into fire.

I smelled something amazing. It was the best thing I have smelled. And I can smell everything. It was delectable. I felt two strong arms restrain me and turn me around. They were carrying me and I wanted to resist but I figured that they were doing what's good for me.

But I wanted whatever it was SO BAD!!! I had to think about every muscle in my whole body. From my thigh, to my fingertips. The urge was getting stronger but it started to recede as did the smell.

When it felt like they had been carrying me for hours they set me down and looked right at me in amazement.

"Alana" I just nodded my head. "How come you didn't try to break our hold?"

"I didn't know why the urging was so strong and I figured that it wasn't good. And that you guys were going to help me for the better. So I just kept thinking about nothing."

"Astounding" They both whispered.

"WHAT!?!?" Why was this so amazing?

"Well, what you smelled was human blood an…"

"WHAT?! I wanted to eat a human that bad? How could that be? That's not right!"

I kept saying over and over.

"Well I guess we forgot to tell you that. You see, human blood is the best thing for us. Our family is a vegetarian. And judging by your reaction that's how you want to live. But you have to learn control. That's why we wont let you near our daughter. Its nothing personal."

I kind of laughed. "No I don't want to eat humans. But wow. That feeling was so strong. Is it always like that?" I really didn't ever want to be near humans again.

"No after a while you get used to it" Bella's chime like voice came through the fog

I looked upon at her smiling face and felt reassured. I smiled back. "phew! Well that's a relief"

"Can we go back now?" I asked unsure.

I saw Edward close his eyes for a moment then say yes.

As we started running Bella asked "Why were they there?"

"Asking for direction. Who in their right kind would come down this long drive just for direction?"

"I have no idea" She sweetly replied.

When we got back into the house Edward went right up to Carlisle's study. From what I overheard the conversation was about Shawne.

I quickly went over to the back window and looked outside toward the stream. How could I want to eat a human? I mean, I understand that its part of my new nature but still. Im not a monster.

After a while I felt a feather light hand on my shoulder it was my mom Esme. I don't call her my new mom because I never had one I actually loved.

"Alana is something wrong?"

"No…Well…Yes. On our way back from hunting I smelled a human at the house and I wanted to hunt them."

She gently hugged me then said "Don't worry its happened to all of us. I hear Alice is looking for a shopping partner, she's already in her car" She must've seen the new sparkle in my eye because she laughed.

YAY!!! This was going to be funnn!