Tell me, Dean! (Part 4)
The strange reactions in Castiel's body were back. His heart started pumping more blood, most of it coming to his cheeks. He felt like he was remaining out of air.
They drove about 10 miles in the Impala until they found a bar. It was a small typical bar: wooden, little windows, big front porch and a few cars in the small area near the woods. They could see the lights; hear some people talk and laugh. There was music and of course the alcohol and smoke smell.
In the Impala they didn't talk. Dean acted like he was concentrated on the road and the scenery, while Cas listened to the radio. It was one of those awkward moments when everyone hopes someone else would say something and break the silence but nobody actually starts to speak.
As they reached the bar they were relieved to see that there weren't so many people inside. They entered the bar, Dean got his pie and Cas a burger, but they didn't eat. The silence was stretching out between them again. They were sitting sipping their beers slowly.
"This is nice. I can't remember when was the last time I could actually be in a bar and not looking for clues and stuff like that." Dean was smiling, drinking his beer slowly, looking around and now smiling at the girl who was bringing them other beers.
Yeah, she's good. See, now she's someone I would have in the crappie motel room.
Cas was staring at him, is head tilted to the left in his specific way, eyebrows raised. He started speaking in a low deep voice.
"You're troubled. I can see that."
"I'm fine." Silence fell heavy between them for a while.
"I have questions. I thought I knew everything about the human body, and in theory I do but…"Cas started and Dean went on with an exhausted voice.
"…but it's just in theory. You don't know where those feelings are coming from, why those strong urges even exist. Yeah…" He realized Dean said it in a tone which denoted he knew what Cas was going trough. Dean thought it would have been better if he wouldn't have said that.
Nice. Open your heart to the baby angel, tell him what you actually felt when you saw the waitress.
Dean cleared his throat, he realized the annoying voice in his head had a pretty valid point, but he couldn't tell Castiel that he was going through the same experiences. He felt the heaviness of the silence, so as soon as the hot waitress came to take the empty bottles he decided: he needed to have her.
She was a tall brunette. Somewhere in her 30s, worked out body the type 'all the right curves in all the right places', pretty face, full red lips, quite the catch.
Was it not for her blue eyes, right? Look just like Castiel's. The same deep shade…
Damn, couldn't she have had another eyes color? Why blue? It felt like the universe or whatever bigger power up there liked to make him suffer.
The bar was almost empty except for Cas, Dean and some other 4 people in the opposite corner of the room. The waitress talked, her voice was soft and seductive.
"Well you two look tired." She was staring at Dean. "And you look like you would need something stronger than a beer more than air."
As she reached for the bottles Dean touched her hand. She smiled. It was a malicious, fierce and hot smile.
"You're right about that." Dean looked at Cas; it was a move he didn't plan on doing so he looked at the girl and introduced himself.
"I'm Cassidy. And my shift ends in five minutes." She went away. Dean couldn't help but check her out, while thinking that once again that higher power had a sadistic pleasure in seeing him suffer and struggle with his feelings.
Castiel looked at him confused and hurt. He couldn't understand what just happened even if he saw Dean doing it several times, this time it seemed wrong and insulting.
"Umm…you wait here Cas; this won't take long…that long." He tried to fake a smile and look willing.
"I am familiar with the human mating process. I can wait." He was staring confused at Dean while he stood up to leave. "I will wait here then."
Dean frowned. He was more and more confused, but he was sure after Cassidy everything would be back to normal.
Cassidy was moving slowly toward Dean. Low-cut dark red shirt, tight jeans, high heels, something men would usually hunt. This had to work.
Cassidy smiled at Cas as she was slowly taking Dean by arm and leading him towards a door behind the counter. All he could do was look cold and spiteful.
oOoOo
The room where Cassidy took Dean was bigger than he thought it would be: a master bed and two big lamps at each side of the bed. As soon as Cassidy closed the door behind them she threw Dean against the wall, tore his button-up open and started kissing him.
In the heat of the moment he went along. He kissed her with passion and took her shirt off. Cassidy threw him on the bed and gave him another fierce smile before slowly getting on top of him and kissing with passion and energy.
So far everything was good. He liked the wetness of the kisses, the friction between them, her hair touching his face, her lily of the valley perfume all over him. It was nice. He liked her soft skin, her fragile body and she surely was a sight for sore eyes, but as soon as she stared him in the eyes it was over.
He couldn't do it anymore. Those eyes were staring at him with passion and desire and all he could see there was Cas. He imagined Cas instead of Cassidy, he imagined he had his hipbones in his hand, his soft and chopped lips on his and started feeling the desire. Dean went on top of her and closed his eyes. He wished it was Cas there, not Cassidy, so he continued with his eyes closed. He kissed her with a passion he never knew he could and he enjoyed every single second of it.
You know that's not Cas, right?
Dean stopped.
He was on top on Cassidy, half naked, staring at her big blue eyes. She was grinning, her eyes filled with desire and lust. She tried to make Dean continue but he got out of bed. He was now walking back and forth at the foot of the bed hiding his face in his hands, while Cassidy was standing on the bed looking confused right at him.
"Is everything alright?" She got out of bed and made him stop his walking. Dean looked at her and he was about to cry. It was so confusing. She was hot and willing and he just stopped. He never did that before.
You mean before Cas?
"What? No! Yes. I mean… I have to go. I'm sorry!" Dean picked his shirt from the floor, dressed and rushed to the door. There he stopped and looked confused at Cassidy who was also taking back her shirt on.
"I'm sorry! I…" he started, his voice soft and close to a whisper. "I just have a hard time it seems." He tried to smile and stared at the floor, he couldn't look Cassidy in the eyes – not in those big deep blue eyes.
"You have a wife or something?" She asked gently.
"What? No. Never mind. I don't know what it is." He sat on the bed next to Cassidy staring at his hands. He wanted to share his feelings with her, but he was afraid of what she might say.
"The guy you came here with?" She took his hands in hers.
Dean looked startled at her. He wanted to deny it or stand up angrily and run out the door but all he could do was stand there and listen to her soft and friendly voice.
"Is it that obvious? I mean…no, he…we are not… Damn it! I don't know, honestly." He looked worried at her, wrinkles around his eyes.
"It's not obvious." She paused looking at his hands while caressing them with her thumb. "My..." she took a deep breath. "…my son goes through the same…phase. It might sound stupid but that's why I agreed so quickly to come here with you. I wanted to take it off my mind…not that I would be against it, but…" she spoke faster and faster and her face got a worried look that made her look 20 years older.
"…But you were not ready for it." Dean finished in a sigh.
"It looks like none of us was ready for this." Dean needed to talk to someone about it, but he still didn't feel comfortable enough to tell her his story. She started laughing, under normal circumstances a sweet feminine laughter, but now she was worried and stressed. She showed Dean a picture on the nightstand: Cassidy and a teenage boy in worn out jeans, green hoodie and dark brown hair. They were at a lake and the boy was smiling and hugging his mother.
"My son, Jason. We go on lots of trips together, he loves nature." She said.
Dean nodded remembering that at his age he was out on hunting trips killing the sons of bitches that go bump in the night and never had a pleasure trip like that.
Now it was silence in the room. They could hear the music playing in the bar: it was 'Is This Love' by Whitesnake.
Look, another bad joke from our friends up there.
"I'm sure we're both going to be alright." Cassidy talked in a voice that seemed to Dean so mother-like and ensuring. She stood up and went for the door.
"Thank you!" Dean looked at her and she smiled. "I guess I needed this more than you, huh?"
Cassidy winked and told him he could stay there for a while, until he felt ready to go back out there. She left with a 'good luck' and 'it was nice meeting you'.
oOoOo
Dean stood a little bit longer in the room, mostly because he didn't want to give any explanations to Cas regarding why he left so early the room… and because freaking Whitesnake was on the radio.
After a while he entered the bar. He looked at the table where he sat before. Cas was there staring out the window at the night sky.
Dean moved slowly towards him.
Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is this the love that I've been searching for?
Is this love or am I dreaming?
This must be love 'cause it's really got a hold on me.
Was the distance to that table really that long? And the song sure as Hell was longer than he remembered.
Dean reached the table at the second chorus thinking Gabriel's ghost was somewhere around messing with him: the blue eyed women called Cassidy with a son that had the same issues as him, the slow dance music. Either that, either the gods needed to laugh and found him as fitting for their 'gods night out' perverted party.
He sat at the table faking a smile. He was now thinking what he could tell Cas in case he would ask why he was back so early as Cas turned his head and looked him in the eyes with a reassuring smile.
"It is extremely weird. I understand why humans want to express their love, grief, anger and other strong feelings trough music, but the rules of song writing are a mystery to me." He was still smiling.
"Rules? Cas, are you stoned again, because you've been acting weird the whole day too." Dean was sorry he said those words and he wanted to take them back, but it was too late. It was meant to be a joke, but then again, when did Cas ever get a joke? Castiel was looking now at him with a straight face, any trace of his big smile gone; his hands lying on the table in front of him. "Cas" Dean started while leaning forward, unconsciously about to touch Castiel's hands. "I was just joking." He realized what he was about to do and leaned back on the backrest. "I know what you meant." He started in an apologetic voice. "There are no rules in writing the lyrics, except that they need to rhyme or sound nice. One writes exactly what he feels."
Cas nodded and smiled then stood up. "We should leave. I remember you need your four hours."
Dean looked at him shaking his head in disbelieve and laughing. "You remember well." Then, as he stood up and laid a hand on Castiel's shoulder he said in a jocose voce "You need those four hours too now, Cas, and a lot more than that, for that matter." He winked at Castiel and making his grip firm on his shoulder he slowly pushed him towards the exit.
He dropped some bills on the table and headed for the door as he heard a scream followed by a loud noise from the other side of the room. They both stopped and looked carefully in the direction of the noise just to see a tall figure smashing a nearby table. They soon realized what it was.
"Son of a bitch!" Dean hissed, and then he turned to Cas telling him to grab the silver knife and the shotgun from the trunk. As Castiel rushed to the Impala Dean ordered the scared people in the bar to move slowly away and then run to their cars, while the beast was busy chewing something on the floor. Dean could hear the engines and the desperate sound of the wheels as he stared at the wolf.
Everyone made it out. Good.
But then his eyes stopped on a dark spot on the flood. Damn! Anger took over Dean as he recognized the dark red shirt and the white apron. It was Cassidy, or better said, her corpse, lying on the floor in a pool of blood.
"I got them!" Castiel said as he threw the shotgun to Dean who immediately loaded the gun with the silver bullets and advanced towards the werewolf.
"Hey ugly!" As the werewolf turned to see where the noise came from Dean fired the gun. The beast dodged the bullet with enhanced agility and speed and jumped towards Dean. He fell on the ground with the werewolf on his chest holding the shogun as a barrier between him and the gigantic canines. Dean screamed Castiel's name and he could hear a bubbling sound. The wolf got off Dean and was now advancing toward Cas.
Dean stood up just as the beast scratched Castiel's torso and threw him against the wall. He grabbed the shotgun and he didn't care where he shot as long as that beast suffered. In the end he got the heart. The beast was now lying dead on the floor slowly shifting back into a human being. He looked at the human and recognized him as the boy in the picture. He felt sadness take over him together with a strong feeling of guilt. He wished he could have helped Jason deal with it in some way but now all he could do was to look at his corpse. He got fast close to Cas and held him in his arms.
There was blood on Castiel's head, probably due to the impact with the wall, Dean thought. Castiel's chest had three deep cuts from the scratch. He tried to talk but he couldn't. He felt like some kind of pressure was applied on his throat, and anyway, he couldn't think straight. His vision was blurry and his hands shaky because of the blood loss, but he managed to grab Deans arm and hold it like it was God's hand itself.
"Hey! Hey, Cas, everything is going to be alright. I'm going to take care of you! " Dean threw the shreds of Castiel's shirt away and noticed that his throat had a deep cut too, right near the jugular vein. "Dammit!" he growled trough his teeth while he wanted to grab the phone form the pocket with his free hand. He pulled something out and realized that the phone was smashed during the fight. Great! "Cas, stay with me!" Castiel's eyes were closing and he had a hard time keeping his head up. He wasn't sure that Cas could hear him but he knew he must be terrified. His first week as a human and he already had to go through a slow healing process.
Dean got a good hold on Cas and taking him in his arms as good as he could, carrying him to the exit and towards the Impala. He laid him gently on the backseat and pressed the accelerator to the ground. He drove constantly looking in the rearview mirror checking on Cas and surpassing all the other cars on the road.
"C'mon Cas, be strong! I'm going to make you better! I can't lose you, stay with me!" He was constantly repeating those words like a prayer, his teeth clenched, and his hands holding the steering wheel tight. Fear took over him and he remembered the last time he felt that helpless: when Sam decided to jump into the Devil's cage.
"Stay with me!" his voice was now just a soft beseeching whisper as he looked in the rearview mirror.
They were back at the motel in less than 6 minutes.
