AN: Once again the italics at the beginning is a flashback :)
"I don't want morning to come," Joss whispered as she lounged, snuggled up against John, their legs intertwined, his fingers stroking her bare ass while hers flitted across his lower abdomen, tracing absently a scar she found there.
Because then the real world would set back in: this man would leave and she would never see him again. She'd then go to work with gritty eyes because she had been up all night talking about everything under the sun and having amazing-soul-leaving-the-body-meeting-heaven type sex. After work she'd end up heading over to her mother's place to pick up her son, plastering a fake smile to hide the fact that she was tired and upset because a man she had shared an amazing night with was gone. And tonight wasn't just good sex because they were connected on a physical and sexual level, that was for sure, but they were also connected on an emotional level. Joss never told anyone about her fears of not being enough for her son now that he'd hit his teenage years. Of what seeing dead body after dead body did to her, or how she'd cry for the children that were murdered. He had just listened, held her, and encouraged her. John had even gotten into the act of sharing bits and pieces, but nothing tangible, mainly everything he told her was from his time in the Army. But the little she did learn made her realize her instincts were correct about this man. Listening to him talk about an Op to save a civilian and one of their own that were kidnapped by insurgents, taking two bullets for them during the escape, and still not slowing down until they were safe, left her wanting to hear more and make love to him again. Not many would willingly sacrifice their own life to save a complete stranger.
She never had this before. Never had a man to talk to like this, wanting to open up and share everything within such a short time of knowing him. She didn't trust readily or easily, yet she trusted John and she didn't even know his damn last name yet. Though to be fair she hadn't really asked for it either. She never had a man that could bring her such passion and need, she knew that she was never going to meet someone like him again and she was angry that they were only given this one night. One night wasn't long enough and she wasn't entirely sure if a lifetime with John would be. And that thought alone frightened and excited her at the same.
John swallowed hard as he stared up at the ceiling, wanting to lie to her or just ignore her comment completely. But the way she said it so wistfully made him want to acknowledge what she said. "Neither do I, Joss. You, are making it hard for me to leave in the morning," he admitted.
She perched herself up so she could stare into those eyes that she felt like she was born to gaze into. "So why not stay?" she asked hopeful.
He shook his head. "I can't," for one thing he needed to get back to home in D.C. and work. And secondly; he couldn't give her what she needed. And right now he wanted to be selfish because he couldn't bear to stay in New York much longer, not when Jessica was buried here. He was only here to be best man for Harold and Grace's wedding. He needed more time. It was only two months since learning of Jessica's fate; Harold and Grace both told him he needed to grieve. He was stuck in the denial stage; that he was alive and she wasn't. And he had known that before falling into this woman's bed. This was a mistake…a mistake he shouldn't have made but couldn't regret doing because Joss was so unlike any woman he ever met, including Jessica. There was something about her that spoke to him on a far different level deep inside.
"Why not?—I don't believe that tonight is only sex."
He stared into her intelligent eyes. She was too smart for her own good. "It's not," he whispered the admission which seemed to excite her further at the vindication. "But I can't stay. This was a mistake; I'm sorry, Joss, I should go now," he said, leaving off…'before we get in too deep.' John was the type of man that when he fell he fell hard and fast. He did the same thing with Jessica and now here he was falling for Joss. He stubbornly refused to follow that line of thinking, shutting his mind down completely.
"No, don't leave, please…if you won't give me more, than I want the rest of tonight," she said fiercely as she lifted up and straddled him. She was angry with herself for ruining the mood and she wanted to recapture it. They had a few more hours before the sun came up and she wanted to spend it making love and talking to him more, in that order. "I don't regret this night and neither do you. I just regret not meeting you at the right time in your life."
He reached up brushing her hard nipples with his fingers. "Me too…"
"So let's focus on the here and now. Not the past, not tomorrow, not a week or even a month from now. Just right this second…and how you make me feel, John," she murmured before lowering to press a warm kiss to his lips, then settled her mouth on his neck. She grinned as she felt him stirring to life against her butt. "And how I make you feel," she added huskily against his hot skin.
He groaned as she reached behind her and grabbed a hold of him.
John allowed Donnelly in their stateroom. He closed the door, talking softly with Donnelly as Shaw exited the bathroom. Donnelly eyed her and burst out into a deep and nasally laughter. John stepped forward between them, reaching out to snag Shaw's forearm to keep her from charging forward to tear the man apart.
It didn't deter Donnelly though as he said laughingly; "She looks like she's wearing something my daughter would scribble on paper."
John eyed Shaw. "You deserved that for the crotchless panties comment," he murmured lowly, Shaw didn't seem to care. "I'll order you something from the room service if you forget about murdering Donnelly," he bartered. Shaw looked up and curtly nodded, the homicidal look on her face fading a little at the thought of getting food, and he let go of her arm. He set his gaze on Donnelly, addressing their third wheel; "Yes, Shaw looks ridiculous, shall we move on?" he murmured.
"Hey!" Shaw growled.
John smirked at her. "You do and you know it," he retorted.
"Yea, you're right," she grumbled her reluctant agreement as she eyed herself.
Donnelly sighed. "Must be nice to be on her good side," he muttered under his breath. John hid a snort and barely contained his question of: what good side? Shaw didn't mean to be so ornery. It was just her, thanks to her personality disorder. And being one of the only things that Shaw cared about wasn't always a blessing. He shuddered; their last outing to get drinks together had been a disaster. Three ladies tried flirting with him until they left in tears, thanks to Shaw's laser-sharp tongue, no matter how many times he told her to shut up. Not that he would have taken any of them up on their crystal clear offer to share a bed with him. But Shaw wouldn't let him let the women down gently himself. She admitted to never having a friend before and she sure the hell had no idea about boundaries or decorum, hell she didn't even have good table manners.
Donnelly shook his head and got to business. "So what do we have?—my break is fifteen minutes and it took me about ten to figure out where your room…I mean your cabin, was. I need to be back right on the dot for when we set sail. And don't forget to go to the lifeboat drill, we need to blend in," he instructed and Shaw made a face.
"What did Ma'am tell you?" John asked, not wanting to repeat any information since they only had about five minutes to talk.
He shrugged. "Not much. The only information I was provided with was my alias, job, and a few basics so I can actually sort of do this job without calling out the fact that I don't belong here. I was told you two would brief me on the ship," Donnelly supplied.
Shaw stared straight ahead. "Wait until you hear our case!—they are wasting Reese and I on this. Even you could have handled this rudimentary case, Donnelly; why the bureau is wasting us on it makes no fucking sense!" Shaw complained as she dramatically dropped onto the bed.
John actually agreed with Shaw on this but there wasn't much they could do since Control shafted them with the less than desirable case. Perhaps to some of their co-workers a week on a cruise ship soaking up the sun would have been ideal. But not for him and Shaw, they had been in a middle of something with far greater importance and John was a little testy about being yanked off it for this. He had argued with Ma'am for nearly twenty minutes until she pulled her trump card that went along the lines of: 'I'm your superior, do as I say, or you can find yourself new job' and John shut up immediately. He lived for his job. Ma'am then forced him to brief Shaw on their assignment as punishment for arguing with her because everyone in the bureau knew how Shaw was, knew the only one she responded to was him, and they damn well knew she was going to be apoplectic when she learned their assignment. And Shaw did not disappoint.
He moved over and grabbed the manila folder sitting on their laptops and guns, sliding out a photo of a pretty red-headed woman. "Meet Selma Gordon-Wixom, she's the daughter of New York Senator Richard Gordon, she's a human-rights and environmental activist."
Donnelly took the photo. "Pretty, much better looking than Senator Gordon. I think I'm going to regret asking this question but I have to ask anyway: why are we here about to get tans?"
John sighed. Shaw, however, was the one to answer, "Newlywed Selma is receiving death threats for her tree-hugging ways. She blocked a blockbuster deal that cost millions in lost revenue because the forest they wanted to bulldoze, to create one of the most expensive and exclusive country club in New York, housed endangered species. Gordon-Wixom fought in court proving the animals were on the endangered species list and the court sided with her shutting the mega multi-million dollar deal down. Selma pissed off a lot of fat old men with small penises for daring to care more about the environment than their bottom line."
John picked up the narrative. "Senator Gordon and Ma'am apparently go way back and are old friends. Selma just married Nigel Wixom, a billionaire philanthropist, and are on their honeymoon." he said as he slid out a photo of the billionaire. The guy looked like he would be a friend of Finch's. "Senator Gordon requested additional security for his daughter just in case any of the threats are credible and wanted it kept quiet. He doesn't want his daughter disturbed or to know we are keeping an eye on her; hence why we are undercover," he finished the tale.
Donnelly looked at them in disgruntled shock. "Wait. Are you telling me that we are nothing more than glorified babysitters for the next seven days?" he demanded and John nodded his head. "I was tugged off a drug smuggling ring for this?"
Shaw sat up on the bed. "What about us?! We were looking into an anti-government group in Chicago who we were close to taking down when we got reassigned; Moss and Hersch got to take over so we can play Mary Poppins!" she whined.
"Not to mention we were given the cover of newlyweds so we could strike up a conversation with the Wixoms and double date. Apparently the Wixoms are very sociable and like to spend time with other couples," John mumbled.
Donnelly laughed in disbelief. "And Ma'am chose you and Shaw for this assignment?—two of the least talkative agents in the bureau. Shaw can't carry a conversation that doesn't include cussing and insults. She doesn't have a nice bone in her body," he said and Shaw shrugged in response. "And you, Reese, no offense but you are clumsy in social settings," Donnelly muttered. John nodded because the man was telling the truth. He was clumsy in social settings. He had a hard enough time finding anyone he could be himself with, and more often than naught he was undercover, so he had to be someone else and rarely spoke unless spoken too first. And John didn't understand why Control stuck them on this anymore than Donnelly did but he was going to work the case to the best of his ability. "So seven days of babysitting and being at passengers' beck and call. Great!" Donnelly finished sarcastically.
"Never said this assignment was going to be easy," John muttered with a look at Shaw. Seven days of posing as her husband. They hung out together a lot, which was true, but they each could go home to their own apartments at the end of the day. This undercover work required them to stay in the same room together.
"Don't look at me like that! I have to play your twit wife; my alias, Sam Jones, is a housewife while my big strong man makes all the money as a lame banker," she complained loudly.
John laughed softly at her green face at playing a housewife. "Well at least it beats out pretending to be a yoga instructor," he commented.
Shaw made a face. "Not really, because during that undercover sting I got to break some backs as I twisted them into pretzels. All I get to do now is talking about the size of your dick and how horny you are for me."
John exhaled in annoyance. "No, you don't have to say any of that," he snarled as he followed Donnelly to the door.
Donnelly laughed. "Okay, maybe the grass isn't always greener on the other side."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Shaw demanded as they all exited the room together.
Joss sat on a comfy beige sofa with her daughter on her lap as Maddie happily drank the strawberry slushie that Don, as he introduced himself, got for her. It was nearly now all melted since her daughter drank it slowly, but she didn't seem to mind. Don was a nice man and she was highly uncomfortable about having him or any other butler on staff at her beck and call. A butler service was not something she really required. When he offered to unpack for her, Joss emphatically said no. There was no way she was allowing a complete stranger to see her underwear! It was one thing when he turned down her bed for her and she didn't mind when Don got her baby this slushie, but no way in hell was she letting anyone unpack her undies!
Joss looked around the lavish and luxurious Royal Suite her friends got her. It was elegantly designed, very roomy, and posh. She felt almost wrong for being in something as amazing as this. She and Maddie weren't posh and Joss could almost guarantee her daughter was going to spill something on this nice beige concentric circle designed carpet. She looked behind her and shook her head at the dining room, then beside her at the large, at least 50 inch TV, in the entertainment center that would be a great way to relax Maddie after a day of fun. She'd fall asleep instantly once she put on a movie.
Her eyes landed on the veranda in front of her. It was private and amazing. The views were to die for. She was going to ream Harold and Grace a new ass for getting her this sort of sophisticated and stylish room. It had to have been pricy as all hell!
"Ouchy!"
Joss glanced down at her daughter. "What's wrong baby?" she asked and Maddie smacked her forehead.
"Brain freeze!"
Joss nodded as she wrapped her arms tight around Maddie and hugged her tight. "Let me warm you up," she said before kissing her daughter's head and Maddie had no complaints as she was smothered in her arms. Maddie was a very affectionate little girl and such a sweet and caring little thing too. When she took her daughter to the playground a few weeks ago, another little girl fell and got hurt so Maddie rushed over to help the little girl up.
Once her daughter started drinking her slushie again she realized the brain freeze subsided and she relaxed her tight hold on her daughter before reaching forward to grab the daily bulletin which listed what the upcoming excursions were. Joss lifted her eyebrows as she read through it. Wow. There was a lot to do, even on the day you boarded, she didn't know why that surprised her but it did. For today she decided she and Maddie were just going to chill, taking in the ship, and maybe find one of the many pools and relax there. Maddie would have a blast as she just loved to play in the water. The swim lessons that Leila and Maddie enjoyed last year paid off in spades. Joss made a mental note to ask Don about this kid's club that Grace had told her about. She would love for her daughter to get to do some activities with other little boys and girls, while it gave her a chance to sit in the sun and relax, to have a little 'me' time alone, maybe go up to the spa area and get a nice massage.
Joss set the paper down and reached out to the tray on the dark-wooded coffee table in front of her legs for a plump and ripe strawberry. She flashed to the one night with John when he had admitted to having a weakness for chocolate covered strawberries, and she banished the thought away as quickly as it came. Evidently they gave a daily fruit platter, along with afternoon tea, and in-suite espresso and cappuccino. But Joss longed for simple and normal coffee. She made a mental to talk to ask Don about that the next time she saw him.
She handed her baby a strawberry. "Thank you, mommy," Maddie said immediately. Joss smiled as she kissed the top of her head.
"You're welcome, sweetheart," she murmured.
Maddie slowly ate the strawberry as if cherishing the thing. Her daughter loved strawberries which was a very much John thing. Joss herself loved grapes and oranges.
As they were entering their suite Joss had met the nice newlywed couple Selma and Nigel Wixom in the Royal Suite next door to hers. Selma was beautiful with long red hair and mermaid green eyes, while her husband was nondescript, but looked like a walking bag of money. He was nice and the couple reminded her so much of Harold and Grace, just younger. Selma looked at Nigel with so much love and it was very much reciprocated by Nigel. Joss reassured the honeymooning couple that Maddie was very much a good little girl and that their oasis away would not be interrupted by them. Selma and Nigel were very sweet and thanked her for the sentiment but weren't worried about it. Joss chuckled to herself thinking that newlyweds weren't going to be sleeping all that much anyway. When her and Paul were on theirs; they sure the hell didn't.
She lifted Maddie up and settled her on the sofa to get to her feet. Maddie kicked her legs as she finished the strawberry and then went back to sipping what was left of her slushie. Joss turned the TV on finding a movie for her curious daughter to watch to keep her occupied while she unpacked their things before they went roaming and exploring the ship. Maddie's eyes zoned in on the Pixar movie. Joss turned and moved to where their suitcase and her carryon rested on the bed where Don had placed them when they were delivered to the room.
Joss began unpacking their clothes, placing them in the provided dresser, truly grateful that this room was this nice. The bed was very large so she wouldn't run the risk of accidentally smothering her baby when they slept, so she was going to let Maddie sleep beside her. The suite had lots of space for Maddie to play in, not that they would spend a lot of time in the room. But at night when she wanted to relax them both before bed, they had some space to do so. Joss hurriedly unpacked as surely soon it was time to set sail and they had a lifeboat drill as well. She understood that the cruise line wanted everyone to understand and be ready just in case. She just wanted to go out and see them off. But safety first, then the enjoyment of watching them set sail. She knew Maddie would love it.
Joss glanced out of the bedroom to check to see her darling little girl was in the same spot as she had a tendency to go exploring and immediate thoughts of her gorgeous father invaded her consciousness, leaving her a little breathless. She had been thinking about John more and more lately, it was a little disconcerting. Like thoughts of their night and the reality of what they were doing during that one night. Of the reality that they were falling for each other more and more each passing second with no hope of stopping the slippery slide down.
Joss mentally snapped herself out of it, trying to focus on the task at hand: unpacking their clothes. She didn't want to think about him right now. At night, when she was alone in bed, that was fine, because her body easily responded to the mental image of his and grew aroused so disturbingly easy and she could do something about the pressure in between her legs. Now she couldn't. She slammed the dresser drawer shut when the last article of clothing was placed inside, and along with it her thoughts on John.
She turned around and exited the bedroom to find her daughter sitting still on the sofa, merrily swinging her legs, eyes on the TV looking like the cutie-pie she was.
"Come on Maddie, let's go take in the sight of us setting sail!" she said, hiding her flustered feeling behind a smile for her daughter, desperately wanting to distract herself from the racy thoughts, the crushing yearning to find the man that fathered her baby, and pick up where they left off. It was the same intense yearning she had for the past near five years since she met him. When was she ever going to get it through her head that finding John was impossible?
This was going to end badly. John and Shaw had managed to arrive at one of the many lifeboat drill locations, nearest their cabin. Afterwards they would search for the Wixoms to gain eyes and ears on them. But the lifeboat drill was torture and Shaw's very short fuse was not meant for tedious and dull things such as this.
His eyes found Shaw's and if looks could kill the instructor, the poor crew member would be swimming with the sharks. "I'm going to rip his arms off and shove them down his throat to get him to stop talking," she said lowly, looking like a snake coiling itself for a strike. "Everyone knows how to put on a life vest. It isn't rocket science."
"Shaw, relax, it's only a few more minutes."
"I'd rather drink cyanide than listen to this man talk. It would be a quicker death."
"Sh-sweetie…" he warned as he shot blinding smiles with lots of teeth as some men and women were looking her way at her growling, her words, and her loud annoyed sighs. "You're going to oust our cover before we even set sail," he said quietly for her ears only as he wrapped an arm around her and hugged her to him hard.
"I don't care. All I have to do is snap his neck and then there will be blissful silence, everyone will thank me for killing this sad sack…" John frowned as she continued on as she received nervous looks from her stated death threats. They most likely thought she was unstable and were going to talk to one of the staff.
John sighed, he did the only thing he could think of to shut her up so she didn't blow their cover. He leaned down and kissed her. Oh god, it was even worse than imagined. John tried to hide his grimace at the awkward and unwanted kiss. It was like kissing his sister. Shaw, for her part, stood there frozen as her lips didn't move. John had bad kisses before, especially when he was a teenager and was surprised at his locker by a girl who had a crush on him and she nearly chipped his tooth, but this was worse. Or the lady that licked him during an undercover assignment back before he even knew Shaw. He'd take the sloppy kiss that resembled a St. Bernard over this. Kissing Shaw hadn't even made the list of things he ever wanted to do in his lifetime and now that he had, he couldn't wait until the agony was over. It wasn't Shaw really, it was the fact that there was just nothing there between them except friendship. When the drill ended he eased back and Shaw looked at him horrified, as much as he felt.
John rubbed his lips. That was by far the worst thing he had ever done in his life.
Shaw gave a weird half smile, half grimace at men and women grinning ear to ear at them until they turned their backs and they weren't the focus anymore. Shaw's face suddenly turned angry as she punched him in the arm…hard. "I need to chug Listerine right about now, thanks to you!" she growled.
"You think I don't? Next time when I say you're going to blow our cover, shut up for both our sakes," he said darkly.
They grew quiet as they walked together before Shaw began talking about what food; she was debating on ordering from the 24 hour room service.
John drew up short when he looked off in the distance and saw a woman walking in short denim shorts that fitted over her nice derriere tightly; a woman that looked like Joss, his Joss, from behind. His body reacted as he recalled how well he acquainted himself with Joss's backside during their one night together. John licked his lips at the thought.
Shaw paused, realizing Reese wasn't listening to her and not walking beside her anymore. She looked back at him and saw him staring straight ahead. She followed his gaze and saw nothing of interest in front of them besides several men and women. She looked back at him.
"What the hell are you looking at?" Shaw demanded.
Shaw watched as Reese jerked, as if she jolted him out of some weird trance. He blinked. "It's not her."
"Who's not her?"
"No one, Shaw. Never mind, let's go try to find and meet the Wixoms," he muttered as he turned and started walking in the opposite direction they had been going. For one fleeting moment he had thought the woman with her back to him had been his Joss. But there was no way it could be her. The woman with the nice butt, like Joss's, was walking hand in hand with a young girl; his Joss only had a grown son.
Shaw shrugged as she followed Reese.
Joss walked slowly with her daughter hand in hand to one of the promenades to watch them set sail. They had missed the drill because of Maddie's announcement that she had to go potty. Oh well, she knew what to do and Don could fill her in on anything they may have missed. She had been debating on going to deck 15 because of the sunset bar to see them off, but decided against it and gone to one of the other open decks to see them off. Maybe it wouldn't be so busy. Lucky for them she found a nice spot so they could see the shoreline. But while she was walking there with Maddie, she felt a tingling feel on her backside, like someone was watching her. It was an odd sensation because it hadn't felt unwanted. It felt like a caress. She now knew she was losing her mind. It only got worse when she turned around, and she thought she had seen her John because the retreating form of a man way back from her was tall and looked like him from behind with that sweet V spot, but he was so far away so she couldn't be for sure. But certainly the man she thought was her John was someone else. It was just wishful thinking on her end.
She turned her gaze back out to the ocean and picked her daughter up so she could see the shoreline too, as they began setting sail directly on time. Joss held her daughter firmly before waving at the dock. "Wave goodbye, Maddie."
"Bye-bye shore!" Maddie called out.
Joss blew kisses and Maddie giggled and did so too. "Bye shore, see you in a week!" Joss echoed her baby's sentiment. This vacation was definitely needed; she was stressed and was seeing things. This would relax her and recharge her. When she got back she was going to kiss Harold and Grace for being such wonderful friends to her.
AN: You guys are getting answers slowly but surely. I know you want John and Joss come face to face soon. You won't have to wait much longer for it. Next chapter is:
Chapter 4: A Blast From the Past
Thanks for reading!
