Faces
Would you agree that we're far from all right?
(We fall below the line! We fall below the standards!)
If only you could see
What we see through these eyes
(This plague is spreading, it will sink under your skin!)
……
Hermione
8/27/10
12:16 p.m.
After staying up all night, I barely had any sleep the next morning, but I stayed downstairs in the kitchen anyway, trying not to go up the stairs to see for myself. Mrs. Weasley had come downstairs to cook, but she had only said that time would make the difference as far as Jenny's recovery went. The members of the Order besides Lupin and Madam Pompfrey were organizing for a meeting, and for the first time, everyone except Ginny was of age and in attendance.
"This young woman, Jenny is her name, is a Muggle. She knows nothing of magic, correct?" Kingsley asked me calmly.
"To make her agree to the Taboo, I told her that our 'worlds' were different, and I told her to be wary of the Death Eater's tattoo and people carrying sticks. I never used the words 'magic' or 'wand', not even 'Death Eater.' I'm surprised she accepted it so calmly." I said nervously. What I had done was just bordering on against the law. Kingsley raised an eyebrow but continued.
"How many times was she bitten?" Kingsley addressed Tonks.
"Four times, sir. Both shoulders, her left side, and then the left side of her neck." Tonks managed to say it with a straight face, but my stomach twisted at the thought. Incredible guilt was riddling me, no matter how many times Harry and Ron told me this wasn't my fault. Kingsley sighed and rubbed his forehead.
"If she survives, she will no doubt be a werewolf, even though Greyback wasn't actually a wolf when she was bitten; we are too close to the full moon. We have no idea if she will be as vicious as Greyback or not. We would not be able to modify her memory and send her back home, she would slaughter people at the full moon, especially without the Wolfsbane Potion." Kingsley paused, deep in thought. "If we kept her with us, she could either be harmful or a hassle. I can't see any good path for her at this point."
"Sir, if you don't mind, I have an idea. I'm not sure on how it would work…but if this Jenny wasn't a violent, vicious person after the bites, and if she survived and was properly trained…I think she would be an excellent spy." Tonks said firmly, and dead silence filled the table. I lifted my head. A spy?
"Tonks, what you are suggesting is against the law. She would have to have a level of knowledge on magic that break every Wizarding Secrecy Law out there." Mr. Weasley said slowly.
"Look at the Ministry! It's run by Death Eaters now! If you think they are going to stop looking at blood status and start looking for Muggle spies, you are crazy." Tonks said earnestly. I was starting to warm up to the idea. Jenny could be good at it! She was fit, fast and smart, and she would blend in almost anywhere.
"Jenny is an extremely fit person. She's more fit than a professional Quidditch player, and she is dangerous without a weapon. I know only Mrs. Weasley and Tonks have seen the bruises on Draco Malfoy, not to mention the wound, and that was from her just throwing random objects after she had been tortured." I emphasized, sitting up straight. "I don't mean to scare you, but if she could kill Greyback injured as she was, imagine what she could do when she was fresh." Everyone glanced uneasily around the table.
"But will that fitness get her anywhere against a wizard?" Fred spoke up, looking like he wanted to get on board for Jenny's cause, but was unsure. If only they all knew what Jenny was like!
"She managed to take on two Death Eaters by herself, and did significant damage to both. Draco Malfoy's stab wound would keep him from walking anywhere if he couldn't Apparate." Mrs. Weasley said cautiously from farther down the table.
"And Greyback's stab wound was deep. I would expect that kind of power from a strong, fresh male, not a weak, hurt female Muggle." Kingsley muttered almost under his breath. Everyone thought for a few moments. "I suggest we vote. If Lupin and Madam Pompfrey both say that she is harmless and can be tamed as a wolf with the Wolfsbane Potion, would you agree to the idea of trying to train this Jenny as a spy?" Kingsley asked, and everyone raised their hand.
"I guess that settles it. I'm going to go feed our prisoner and check in on the situation upstairs." Mrs. Weasley said tiredly, and I jumped out of my seat.
"Might I come with you? Not to see Malfoy, but to see Jenny?" I asked, and she hesitated.
"I'll go in first and ask Madam Pompfrey and Lupin. She still might be dangerous. If I tell you to leave, you will go downstairs, is that understood?" She asked firmly, and I quickly nodded. She sighed but took three plates of food with her up the stairs. I waited halfway up as she kept climbing. A few minutes later, she came back from the far upstairs, one plate missing. She knocked softly on the first door on the landing and vanished into the room. Moments later, she stuck her head out and motioned me up the stairs.
Silently, I flew up the stairs and slipped inside. The room was full of tension. Madam Pompfrey and Lupin were sitting on either side of the bed, a plate somewhere near both of them. I stayed at the far back of the room, behind Mrs. Weasley's arm, and took in Jenny. Her face was incredibly pale, and she looked too still, minus the rise and fall of her blankets. Every breath looked painful; the blankets shuddered and fell in jerky patterns. Her long hair was pulled back, but other than that, she looked almost the same from the last time I saw her. Mrs. Weasley slowly dropped her arm as Lupin nodded once. As I took a cautious step forward, I got a better look at his face. He looked distraught yet heavily guarded, sitting tensely at the edge of his chair. Moving closer, I could see how tired he and Madam Pompfrey looked. I could also see the edges of two heavy white bandages on Jenny's shoulders, and one wrapping around the left side of her neck.
"Oh, Jenny." I breathed, and Mrs. Weasley put a careful arm around me. She looked like she could die at any moment. And what if she turned vicious and violent? What would happen to her then?? I already knew that I knew that answer; I just didn't want to accept it. The Order would have to kill her; it would be the only way. "I should have gone back to protect her. I went to get my parents, but I just left her there." I whispered, watching her breathe. Mrs. Weasley shook her head.
"You wouldn't have been able to do much. You would have had to modify her memory, and it's hard to do that to a loved one. This is not your fault." She said.
"What kind of a person is Jenny?" Lupin asked tiredly after a moment. It took me a minute to realize that he was trying to predict how the bites would affect her.
"Jenny was…balanced, you could say. She could be incredibly funny, yet serious, meek yet fierce, protective and wise, all at the same time. When the moment was right, she would act. She gets incredibly curious sometimes, and can have a quick temper." I said quietly. Seeing her so still was a stark contrast to the Jenny I knew, she had a lightning fast arm from splatter painting so much; rock climbing, karate and tai chi had made her strong, she was always moving.
"At this stage, the magic in Greyback's saliva and blood will have started to attack her brain. If she can resist for the next 24 hours, her personality should stay relatively the same. But I'm sorry to say that she may start to…react. It won't be pleasant for her or for us." Lupin said this all with little to no emotion, glaring at the floorboards and I knew that he was remembering when it happened to him.
"And we can't do anything to…ease her pain?" Mrs. Weasley asked for me, as if she had read my mind. Lupin silently shook his head.
"When the attacks happen on the brain, it makes the wounds burn as it closes them, to keep the magic inside. If we were to try to stop that, to leave the wounds open, the attacks would never stop, and she would probably get some type of infection from the wounds. Normally, a victim is only bit once, or is mauled to death. Jenny was bitten multiple times, so it will be interesting to see how it turns out." Madam Pompfrey said in a harried voice, her hands twisting in her lap. Madam Pompfrey was always anxious when she couldn't do much to cure a patient. My gaze went back to Jenny, and I felt more regret, more guilt. I still should have been there.
……
Hermione
8/28/10
1:45 a.m.
I jerked into alertness when a cry of sheer torture erupted into the silence, and I heard Ginny swear unattractively and shakily as she lit her wand. The mattresses creaked in the boys rooms down the hall, so I knew it had woken everyone up. The same cry happened again, making me wince but hurry over to the door and peek into the hallway. I could hear feet moving rapidly downstairs, and voices that were getting louder. I looked down the hall when Ginny appeared at my shoulder to see the boys cautiously looking out too.
Jenny screamed again, and it slightly reminded me of a wolf call, but made me cringe as they got faster and longer, but more strangled. Slowly, we all converged on the landing, and we sat on the stairs, listening. I buried my head into Ron's shoulder as the voices in her room got louder, to try to be heard over her screaming. "They're so eerie." Harry broke the silence, sounding cautious and almost scared. Randomly, I heard a door open, then Mrs. Weasley was on the stairs and stopped short at the sight of all of us on the stairs.
"Hermione, we need you. Now." She sounded strained, so I shakily got up and followed her without a word, down the stairs and across the hall to Jenny's room and we quickly went inside. The noise made it hard to hear, and it made me want to cry. Lupin was right up next to her, hand over hers firmly, saying things I couldn't hear. Jenny's eyes were full of pain and were almost dull with delirium. When she saw me, she suddenly stopped screaming, watching me, starting to raise herself up for a better look.
"Hermione?" She gasped almost inaudibly, then groaned, letting her head fall back down, and her teeth locked together. I darted to the other side and took her other hand, which was in a fist.
"Jenny," I breathed, and winced when the screams started back up again, her frame shaking.
"What—is-happening-to—me-?" She gasped painfully, trying to control herself and failing miserably. I shot a look at Lupin, who had frozen at her question. "What is wrong with me?!" Jenny screamed, and it must have lasted for a minute or more.
"Jenny, remember what you told me, when you were teaching me how to rock climb? About pain?" when she didn't' answer, I pushed ahead. "You said: 'Pain is not my enemy, because I cannot define it. Therefore, pain does not define me.' Do you remember?" I asked again, and Jenny groaned, opening her eyes and met my gaze, then clenched her teeth and closed her eyes, getting so tense, her hand was super tight around mine.
"Hermione-" She started, but groaned and seemed to pale further.
"Jenny, I'm sorry, I should have protected you, and I didn't. I should have told you more about my 'world', and the dangers that were spilling over into yours. I'm sorry." I said quickly as her face twisted terribly, but she managed to stay silent.
"God, it burns," Jenny groaned, and I apologized profusely after each scream, each groan. Towards the end, Jenny alternated from screaming silently to a clenched jaw, and then she slowly relaxed, her eyes closed, until her grip slackened and fell from mine. Lupin checked her pulse, his face carefully controlled, and looked surprised.
"I'm pretty sure she's going to make it. Against all odds, I think she's going to live." Lupin sounded awed. "We can only hope that she stays the same. If it was hard for me with one bite, I can't imagine what four must have been like." He added the last part quietly, almost as an afterthought, watching Jenny carefully.
"How long before she's awake?" I asked nervously, backing up so that Madam Pompfrey could check the bites. I had to look away after seeing the first bandage being removed on her neck. The bites were human, but the canine teeth were longer and deeper. I glanced quickly at Lupin, and noticed that his were the same way. Wondering why that hadn't been apparent to me before, I sat slowly down in a chair. "Lupin, if Jenny stays the same…what do you think about her being a spy for the Order?" Lupin sighed and leaned against the wall.
"I really can't have an opinion on it, and neither can she. It's her only option, even if it is possibly life threatening and most certainly illegal. My only worry is when the Ministry is restored. She will have to learn how to act like a wizard, because the Ministry will not hesitate to kill her, currently and in the future." Lupin looked incredibly sad.
"But, she's technically magical! She'll be a werewolf!" I protested weakly, and Lupin frowned darkly. His hands turned to fists.
"Exactly. The Ministry already wants to exterminate werewolves, a Muggle one would be like an invitation to them. Even if Jenny can protect herself against non-magic, she will still need protection. Even if you friend survives as herself, she will be in danger for the rest of her life."
