Four
Ruthie felt oddly numb when she got home that night. She had slipped back into the house and back into her bed remarkably undetected. It came as somewhat of a shock, as she was half-expecting her mother and father to be waiting up for her in the kitchen.
But they weren't, and she was stuck by herself with her thoughts. She never expected to turn down an advance from the one man she wanted one from for a very long time. But it happened and Ruthie was still trying to decide how she felt about it.
She knew she did the right thing. He wasn't in a stable emotional state to have been thinking clearly. As much as she hated to think it, she was almost angry with him for doing it.
Sighing, Ruthie tried to push Martin out of her mind. He was taking up too much of her energy and it was all for nothing. He would have to be just a friend for the time being. It would take a while for her to get back into the friend mindset when thinking about him and not picturing him as a potential boyfriend. He had enough to deal with without having to worry about a new relationship.
Ruthie closed her eyes and was just starting to drift off to sleep when she was startled awake again by the loud ring of her cell phone. She scrambled to sit upright in her bed, thinking maybe it was Martin and completely upending her thoughts of trying to let him go. The sheets twisted around her, but she shook them off and reached for her phone on the bedside table.
Illuminating from the screen and lighting up her pitch black room was a number she didn't recognize. Going against her better judgment and her sinking heart, she answered.
"Hello?" she whispered into the phone.
"Ruthie?"
She almost dropped the phone at the sound of his voice. It couldn't be…she hadn't heard from him in ages.
"This is Ruthie," she replied, not really knowing what else to say.
"Ruthie, I need to see you."
Her heart was racing and her palms were sweaty against the phone.
"Okay."
"Meet me at the park in a few hours. I know it's early, but I really need someone to talk to and I can't think of anyone that I trust more than you."
Ruthie took a breath to try to calm down. She looked at the clock, which glared 6:30 a.m in angry red numbers.
"Okay, Peter. I'll see you there."
Ruthie got a couple of hours of sleep before it was time to go meet Peter. She got out of bed, threw on a deep teal sweat suit, put her hair up in a messy bun and walked down the stairs, not even bothering with her makeup like she would have for Martin. She knew she probably had dark purple bags under her eyes but she found herself not caring. It was nice to not worry about that with Peter. Even though she hadn't seen him in a while, she was still oddly comfortable with him.
She found her father at the table when she entered the kitchen. He looked up from the page he was reading in the newspaper, the toast stopped comically halfway to his mouth.
"You're up early for a weekend," he said. "Going to Martin's?"
Ruthie felt a twinge of anger. "No, actually. I do have a life outside of Martin, you know," she snapped back, somewhat more intensely than she had meant, but she made no apologies.
Eric tried to backpedal, not wanting to start an argument with his teenage daughter. "I'm sorry. I know you do. I just thought you might have wanted to go see him since you haven't talked in a while."
Ruthie's eyebrow rose. "Why? He said something to you, didn't he?"
There was a pause, then, "He might have mentioned it…"
Ruthie rolled her eyes and went to the drawer by the oven. Over her shoulder, she said, "Whether or not I decide to talk to Martin is my business." Clearly, her parents didn't know that she had gone over there the night before for that very reason and she wasn't about to tell on herself.
She grabbed the dog leash from the drawer and shut it again as the family dog, Happy, came trotting up to her. Ruthie attached the leash to Happy's collar and straightened to face her father.
"I'm going to take Happy for a walk. I need to get out of the house for a while," she said and walked out the door before her father could protest.
The park was still relatively empty when she got there, save for the few early birds who were jogging. She walked around for a bit before spotting the blonde-haired boy sitting on a bench a couple yards away. Ruthie headed over to him with Happy by her side.
He looked strange, Ruthie noticed as she approached him. His eyes seemed glazed over and red. It had been a long time since she last saw him, but Ruthie couldn't ever remember him looking quite like this.
She had been standing in front of him, but he hadn't even looked up. Happy nudged his hands with her nose as Ruthie said, "Peter?"
Peter looked up and focused on her. Immediately, he brightened up and a smile cracked across his face, but he still seemed weird to her.
"Ruthie! I'm so glad to see you." He stood and wrapped her in a tight hug. Pushing her away again, he took a closer look. "You look beautiful."
She raised an eyebrow at the comment. "Thanks," she replied flatly, noting her bare face and lazy hair. "I wish I could say the same about you. You look terrible. Are you okay?"
Still smiling, Peter shrugged. "I'm fine. I just didn't sleep well last night – or at all, really. I was out with some friends. I haven't even been home yet."
He took his seat back on the bench and motioned for her to join him, which she did.
"That's not like you," she said, continuing the conversation. There was something going on with Peter and she was determined to find out with it was. "What about your Mom?"
Peter waved her off. "Yeah, well, sometimes you just need a break. Know what I mean?"
"Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. My life's been kind of crazy, too, this year." She looked away and stared at her hands in her lap. "So, what's got you so stressed out?" she asked quickly, not wanting to give the impression that she wanted to talk about her life.
"Well," he started. "My girlfriend left me."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't even know you have a girlfriend."
Peter looked at her. "Yeah, you wouldn't have because you never called me like you said you would."
She felt taken aback. "Hey, don't blame me for not keeping in touch. You didn't call me either."
"Don't get mad. I didn't mean for you to take it personally." He paused. "So, are you seeing anyone?"
Martin's face swam into Ruthie's mind. She realized she hadn't really thought about him much since last night. It had been nice.
"There is – uh, was – one guy, but I don't know if anything can ever happen between us." She looked away again, but she could still feel Peter's eyes on her.
"Why can't anything happen?" Peter asked. "Any guy would be lucky to have you. I know - I speak from experience." He gave her a small smile.
"Thanks, but he had a baby with someone and that someone passed away, leaving him a single father, so he has a lot to deal with," she explained, the words just spilling out the short version.
"Oh, man. That's tough."
"Yeah," she agreed. "When I first found out that he was having a baby, I was so embarrassed and hurt. He had broken up with his girlfriend and I thought he did that for me. I mean, here was this great guy and he left someone for me. I thought he was in love with me and that I was something special, but then he told me the truth. He had really only gotten dumped by his girlfriend at the time because he had gotten some college girl knocked up." She scoffed under her breath. "I was such an idiot."
Peter was silent and Ruthie instantly regretted saying anything.
"You must have been really in love with this guy."
"I was. I mean, maybe I still am, I don't know," she said, trying to downplay how much she still really was in love with Martin.
"Can I ask you something?" Peter asked.
She nodded. "Yeah, sure," she said, facing him.
"Is it Martin?"
Ruthie sighed. "Yes, how did you know?"
Peter chuckled at her questions. "It's Glenoak. I remember everyone talked about him when it happened. I just put it together."
"Oh," she said. How could she forget the gossip? "Right." She could feel her mood descending. Silently, she prayed that Peter would find another subject.
He was studying her. They didn't say anything for a while and Ruthie wondered what he was thinking. Absently, she scratched Happy behind the ears as they sat.
Suddenly, Peter spoke.
"You know what?" he asked.
"What?" she replied, getting a nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach as she caught his eyes.
"I think you're still in love with him, no matter what you say."
"Oh, really? Why do you say that?"
"Because I know the feeling, the look, the way you speak about him," Peter said in a soft voice as his face took on a gentle expression. "I know because I'm still in love with you."
