A/N: I apologize for the delay. Getting caught up on lack of sleep and an MMORPG is not always the best way to go. Also, I'm thinking about fixing up Star Sapphire: SE, but I'm still not sure. I guess I'm just not feeling it. But maybe some time in the future...


School had just recently ended, and the three aspiring spies gathered on the bleachers. They were having a meeting, discussing the day's find.

"Alright, men." Wally was pacing in front of his friends, index finger and thumb placed on his chin, deep in thought. "Now that the thing with Alfred is all cleared up and ready to go, I just wanna share that I've done some hardcore research and observations. Maybe Xavier really likes this girl, so that might be a little problem later on in the future."

His accomplices both nodded in acknowledgement.

"Oh, and Gar... I saw you in the bushes during first hour." He sighed as Garfield's eyes widened. He had no idea it was that bad. "No more solo recon for you, that's for sure."

"I looked her up too, man. I've got nothin'," Victor added.

"Me neither. Sadly, men, we're at a stand-still. What should we do now?" He eyed his friends critically.

Nobody spoke, all thinking about what their next move should be.

"Maybe," Garfield began, "we aren't digging deep enough."

Looking at his green eyed friend, Wally gave a sharp nod as he was struck with an idea.

"We're goin' in."

"Say what?" Lifting both of his eyebrows, Victor had somewhat of an idea of what the track star was implying, and he knew he wouldn't like it one bit.

"We follow her home. And we'll go from there."

TTTTT

Inside the mansion, it was as silent as a barren desert. Which was odd for Dick, because it was usually the time of day when he'd get pranked by his mischievous little brothers. As he made his way through the empty halls, he noticed the soft, classical music resonating from upstairs.

"I wonder..." Slowly making his way up the fancy stairwell, Dick was met with an open door leading into a room which he hadn't set foot in before. He knocked on the door as he peered inside. "Alfred? Are you in here?"

The room was an elegant shade of beige with a red border running along the bottom of the walls. In the far corner was a stereo, playing the classical music which drew him there in the first place. A small, round table covered in an elaborate red table cloth was stationed in the very center, two chairs placed on either side. He searched the room for any occupants.

"Ah, Master Dick." Alfred appeared as if out of nowhere. "I'm glad to see that you are able to make it."

"To what?"

"Your lessons on proper etiquette, of course." The butler grinned.

Dick narrowed his eyes. "Did Wally, Gar and Vic put you up to this?"

"Of course not. Now, if you don't mind, please have a seat." He gestured to one of the available chairs.

"No way," Dick held up his hands. "It's not like-"

"Oh, Dicky!" Richard's eyes widened as his face twisted in disgust. "Here I come, sexy."

You can't be serious, he did a face palm. Jason, that fucking bastard. I swear I'm gonna kill him one day.

"It's me," said Jason's hideously fake feminine voice. "Your crush."

His little brother sauntered in wearing a red wig that touched his shoulders, a purple v-neck and, quite disturbingly, a matching skirt. Where he got it and why he owned it, Dick will never know. Luckily, Jason wore under armor leggings underneath to hide any exposed skin. Behind him, a chortling Tim and a placid Damian followed.

"This one's goin' on my blog. Strike a pose!" Tim howled with laughter as Jason made kissy faces at Dick, who only grimaced and tried, in vain, to push his younger brother away. "Get 'em, Damian."

Damian aimed him camera at the unpleasant scene. One quick snapshot, and the youngest two were gone.

"What the fuck, Jason!" Dick was embarrassed that he even had any connections to the boy standing before him. "Get the hell out!"

"Oh, baby, don't be mad just cause you can't handle all of this." He gestured to himself, shaking his hips in the process as he grinned, pleased with his brother's reaction.

The entire time, Alfred fought not to laugh. When he had finally calmed himself down, he decided to interpose.

"Master Jason, I believe that your favorite television show, Ultimate Spider-Man, is currently airing a new episode."

He gasped and literally ripped the skirt from his waist, chucked the wig at the farthest wall, and sprang for the door. Dick glared in his direction.

"There's seriously something wrong with him," said Dick.

Alfred chuckled. "Master Jason possesses no shame."

"I'm pretty sure that's an understatement. Possibly one of your worst ones yet." Shaking his head, Dick proceeded to sit on the nearest chair. "So what now?"

"I believed you had no intention of participating," the butler smiled, and Richard only shrugged.

"It wouldn't hurt to try it out, I guess."

TTTTT

Meanwhile, hidden in the bushes of Kory's backyard, Dick's three troublesome friends were set on hardcore-spy-mode.

"Dudes, I have a bad feelin' about this..." Garfield shivered, terrified of what might be if they were spotted.

Wally shushed him. "Be quiet! We'll be-"

A deafening growl and threateningly bared canines interrupted him mid-sentence.

"Awh, it's a Siberian Husky!" exclaimed the no-longer-terrified Garfield. However, the same couldn't be said for Wally and Victor.

The gangly teen extended a hand to pet the dog, and in seconds, it went from ferocious beast to lovable puppy. And in that moment, an audible clicking sound caught the boys' attention.

"Identify yourselves at once, cretins." It was a short, red haired boy, who looked to be around thirteen years old or so, that held an airsoft gun aiming in their direction, ready to fire. He had an intense grimace engraved on his angry features. When he received no reply from the intruders, he continued to command his guard dog. "Subdue the trespassers, Silkie!"

"No! Please, little boy! Have mercy! We surrender!" Wally was prepared to dart all the way across the planet to Antarctica, but was grabbed by the collar. Victor frowned, holding his friend in place, afraid that if they made any sudden movement to provoke the animal they'd end up being dog food in a matter of seconds.

"Silence!"

"But we-" Garfield was interrupted by a familiar female voice.

"Rye Aidan Anders! What on Earth are you doing to those poor boys?" Letting out a sigh of relief, Victor released Wally. But soon enough, he began to panic when he realized they'd been discovered by the very girl they were supposed to spy on.

"Abort mission! Haul ass, men!" Wally led his two friends in their great escape.

Kory raised an eyebrow as she watched them disappear from the neighborhood.

"Sister," Rye tugged at her shirt, his face void of emotions as he was prepared to tell her the bad news. "I believe you have the stalkers."

"Odd," tilting her head slightly to the right, she furrowed her eyebrows. "Those were Dick's friends."

TTTTT

Alfred was slowly orbiting his pupil, making sure his posture was straight and not hunched. Once he finished scrutinizing him, he continued on with his crusade.

"May I ask what her name is?"

Richard shot him a strange look. "Whose name?"

"The lucky lady that has caught your eye, sir." He smiled knowingly as Dick's face paled.

"I-I don't like anyone! And if I did so happen to like someone, it would be impossible because she's dating Xavier..."

"Ah, so there is someone."

Going from blanched to blushing, Dick's voice squeaked. "You can't tell Bruce."

"Of course not." Dick breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thanks."

Just as Alfred was about to begin his lessons, there was a knock on the door. With one glance in the direction of the entrance, the butler smiled.

"I have invited Miss Gordon to help with your predicament."

"You did what? But I don't need her help." And just like that, the situation went from bad to worse. He didn't like her the way he liked Kory at the moment, but he used to and that was sort of unsettling to him.

A red haired girl opened the door, took a peek inside, and walked right in the moment she saw Dick. She was, however, not the same redhead Richard had wanted to see.

"Hey, Dick!"

Disappointment enveloped his entire being. Nope, this definitely wasn't the girl he'd been hoping for.

"Hi, Babs."

"So..." she sat across from him, resting her chin onto her propped arms. "Is this a date?" She winked, but Dick looked away.

"I wouldn't call it that."

Alfred cleared his throat. "It is practice for Master Dick."

Narrowing her eyes, Babs frowned. She'd always thought that Dick liked her, but now that there was someone else, she was finally jealous. "For who, exactly?"

"I believe that is none of our concern." Noticing that Richard would rather have Babs in the dark about the identity of his crush, Alfred saved him from exposure. "Shall we begin?"

Babs considered for a second.

Whatever. A date is a date, she reasoned. "Okay. So what now?"

TTTTT

The doorbell rang, and Kory was immediately on her feet to answer it. Her friend from art studios, Rachel Roth, was at the door. Kory smiled as she stepped aside to allow the girl entrance into her abode.

"Are you prepared to work on our new project, Rachel?"

"Yeah," she gestured to her bag filled with art supplies. "Are you?" Kory nodded as she led the way to the garage.

Parked in the far corner was a black Mercedes-Benz, and beside it was a crimson Chevy Camaro.

"Those yours?" Rachel pointed to the shiny new vehicles.

"The red one will be mine, as soon as I am able to drive, and the Benz belongs to my sister." Kory sat down in front of her wooden easel, ready to begin.

In that moment, Kory's cell phone beeped, indicating a new text message. She looked to see who it was, then gave her friend a lopsided grin.

"Was it Xavier?" Kory nodded. "Honestly, I don't get why you're even with him."

After replying to her boyfriend's message, she heaved in a deep breath to give her friend an explanation.

"I acknowledge the fact that he has done a lot for me. Do you not remember when he bought me the ten boxes of chocolates because I told him that I thought chocolates were most delectable? The time he brought a ukulele to school and attempted to serenade me? It was... I guess you could say it was sweet. And Franklin no longer attempts to pinch my butt. I believe you were not present when he brought a giant teddy bear and a bouquet of my favorite flowers and asked me to be his girlfriend in front of the entire school during the assembly. I was not going to embarrass him in front of the whole student body. It would linger in my conscience, and I am not certain I would be able to bear it."

Rachel offered her a half-hearted smile. "You're too nice. But sometimes that isn't a good thing. You need to know when to say no."

"I do not like hurting others. And he seems so sincere..."

"He seems like a real jackass. What if he cheats on you? He's probably the type."

"I suppose you could say that there is more to him than meets the eye. If he is unfaithful, then I will leave him. And besides," the green-eyed girl sighed. "Kom says that in time, I will eventually learn to like him."

Frowning, Rachel occupied the stool beside her red haired friend. She knew that that tactic didn't always work. But then again, who knows? "That's a load of bull."

"Please," Kory began, sheepish. "How does a shipment of livestock hold any relevance to my decision of staying with Xavier?"

Deciding it best to drop the subject, Rachel reached for her bag and emptied its contents. "Let's just paint."

TTTTT

The pretend date took a lot longer than Dick had anticipated. What with all the basics he had to learn, go through, and repeat. To Dick, it was agonizing torture. Not like I'm gonna remember after this, so there's really no point, he thought to himself. It was times like these that he wished he could just crawl into his big, comfy bed and sleep his worries away.

Alfred made Babs leave the room, and Dick had to open the door for her. He had to help her remove her coat, too.

She has two hands, dammit. She's perfectly capable of doing it herself, so why the fuck do I have to?

Being forced to stand at attention as she deliberately took her sweet time to sit on the damn chair was a pain in the ass.

She's fucking doing that on purpose! Son of a bitch.

"Now, Master Dick, for the general amenities," Alfred began as he circled the two. "Always remember to be polite to the young lady."

Babs grinned at Dick, and he inwardly groaned.

"Refrain from cursing, speaking loudly, and losing your temper." Babs snickered, and Dick was tempted to break the rules. "Do not stare, interrupt, or spit. And always remember to respect those around you."

This is so fucking... ugh!

"Got it."

When it was all over and Babs had gone home, Alfred smiled proudly as he handed Richard an old, black pocketbook.

"What's this?" He eyed it guardedly.

"Etiquette for a Gentleman. I would like for you to have it as a reference, in case you forget anything."

Dick nodded and thanked him for all his efforts.


A/N: I'm so sorry I wasn't more clear on why Kory and Xavier were together. I decided to put her in a predicament that happened to my friend back in '10 because I thought it was pretty funny when she was put on the spot like that. She was a little too nice to say no, but in the end, my friend eventually did learn to like her boyfriend. And that's sort of what Kory thinks will happen to her. I'm not sure if it makes much sense, and if it's still somewhat confusing, then I'm very very very sorry. Because I'm terrible when it comes to explanations, heh heh. *nervous laugh*

And yeah, I quoted Transformers.