A/n: This is from Jacob's point of view when he left Bella, and how I envisioned the scene . You'll need a bit of patience though, it doesn't come until a little later in the chapter, it's a bit of a long one
Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series or the characters. I can only wish.
Bella called again. I think she's starting to get suspicious when my dad tells her I'm still sick and tells her not to visit. Deep down she knows something happened, and me being sick is just an excuse. It's been weeks. I hoped she would take the hint and stop calling; she was getting on everybody's nerves. I hoped she wouldn't visit. Everyone's been on edge. Who knows how the others might react.
I'm not even sure I want to see her anymore. After all it was her fault that I turned into a monster. But no, that wasn't fair. She didn't know what the presence of the leeches would do. She had no idea that the Cullens would trigger the wolf gene in my friends and me by moving to Forks. No, the only thing she did wrong was to fall in love with one of them. How she could love a corpse but not me, I had no clue.
I phased and began running, pushing myself beyond my limits. My mind was a disjointed mess, and my pack brothers got a front row seat to the show. They couldn't understand why I couldn't just forget about her.
My Bella. Well, not mine. But she could be. Bella's good with weird. I mean if she could stay so calm around leeches, then surely she'd be okay with the fact that I turned into a wolf, right? Maybe if I could find a way to tell her…
Absolutely not, Jacob. If she visits you, then you will send her away and you will make sure that she won't come back. Hurt her emotionally and make her hate you if that's what it takes. That's an order.
I sighed. I hate when Sam gives an Alpha Order. It's the reason I can't tell her what I am. I don't like this.
You don't have to. You know it's for the best. Besides, she is a leech lover.
I growled. She loves me too. She's just afraid to let me in. I promised to never hurt her.
You'll have to break that promise. I'm sorry kid but it really is for the best. She'll heal.
You don't know that.
No. I don't. But you don't have a choice.
I phased back, unwilling to hear any more Alpha commands right now. Maybe with time, Sam will change his mind. Hopefully Bella will believe that I'm sick for a little longer, until I find a way to let her in on the secret.
But, of course this is Bella we were talking about. The girl has a habit of throwing a wrench in some of the best-laid plans. She showed up the next day in the rain. Great. I began heading for the trees, hoping that she wouldn't see me. But of course she did. I could see the pack hovering in the shadows of the forest, probably making sure I did as I was supposed to.
I tried just telling her to go away. I tried to be nice about it and hope she would realize that it was for the best if she didn't call again. But she refused to listen. That was classic Bella. Stubborn and persistent.
I didn't want to do this. But I had to. It was an Alpha order. I had to obey.
"You shouldn't come here anymore Bella. We can't be friends anymore."
Pain flashed in her eyes, "What? Why?"
"I don't want to be your friend anymore. I don't want you here."
"Jake please, I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I'm sorry. Please don't leave me. I need you."
I tried not to wince. Each word sliced through me like a hot knife. I tried a different tactic. I didn't want her blaming herself, "It's not you Bella. Please, please don't blame yourself. It's me. I'm not good anymore. I can't be around you." And it truly was me.
"Really, Jake? It's not you, it's me? Like I haven't heard that one before!"
I sighed. Well, that didn't work. I guess I have no choice but to move in for the kill.
"Okay Bella. So it is you. I'm tired of piecing you back together, Bella. I don't want to do it anymore. You're just damaged goods. You aren't worth the trouble. I don't want to see you again. I don't want to talk to you again. I don't even want to think about you. We can't be friends. So get back in that truck of yours and leave me the hell alone."
I walked away shaking, and unable to continue to mask how much it killed me to hurt her. To see the pain and hurt on her face with every word I said. I ignored her as she begged me to stay, begged me for another chance, and begged me not to break my promise. But I kept walking into the trees, listening as the truck finally started and headed away from the house.
I phased and ran, not caring that I wasn't that far into the trees yet, not caring that I had other responsibilities when the hours passed from day to night and back to day. I didn't want to care. I cursed as Sam phased, ordering me back home.
It's been a week Jacob. Come home and phase back.
Happy now? He didn't need to ask what I meant.
I'm sorry Jacob. But it had to be done. You did the right thing.
It didn't feel like it.
I know. It never does.
His mind faded as he phased back again, and I was left alone in my misery as I headed back. Back to a life without Bella, a life that I didn't want to live. I made a detour and hid in the trees behind her house, watching her window, and cursing myself as I heard her sobs.
I'm sorry Bells. I didn't want this. Please forgive me.
