'What the hell just happened?' Lance asked as Arthur got into the car and pulled out onto the road.
'Nothing,' Arthur replied and put on his high beams.
'Nothing? He was going to kiss you Arthur!' Lance stated 'And you almost let him!'
'I-...,' Arthur cleared his throat, but had no idea what he was going to say.
'...what the hell happened? Did he put something in your drink, why were you two acting like you knew each other?' Lance fired off.
'He...Merlin's been...contacting me,' Arthur told him.
'He what?' Lance's eyes bugged out of his head.
'At first I thought it was to mock me, you know, like when he showed up in the hub and read me my personal file,' Arthur went on.
'Wait you talked to him...in the hub?' Lance asked 'Why the hell didn't you shoot him?'
'He wasn't there to hurt me,' Arthur stated 'He just talked to me, shot me full of tranquilizer dart and that was it.'
'That was it?' Lance asked.
'Well yeah...then he started to send me text messages,' Arthur told him.
'What is he your super villain stalker?' Lance was becoming a bit hysterical.
'You make it sound creepy,' Arthur scowled 'It's not like that. I don't know how to explain it. He's just...easy to talk to, he's smart and he understands me...oddly enough. And he's fun...always so calm and relaxed and funny. I don't know. He's actually a decent guy...for a cyber terrorist.'
'Holy crap...,' Lance stared at Arthur in wonder 'You fancy him.'
'What? Pfft no I don't,' Arthur denied.
'Oh yeah you are! Are you insane? You've violated the prime directive Arthur! You're risking your entire career' Lance exclaimed 'For Christ sake, Merlin Emrys? The guy who kidnapped me, the guy we've been searching for, you're suppose to put him in jail not let him mack on you!'
'I know! I know all that,' Arthur's fingers tensed on the wheel.
'Not to mention that he's a bloke! Since when did you start liking dick?' Lance demanded.
'I don't know!' Arthur blurted 'I've never felt this before okay, not for a chick, not for a guy, not for anyone but him!'
'Whoa. You really like him don't you?' Lance realised, Arthur didn't reply, it really wasn't necessary, the answer was kind of obvious 'And he fancies you too, he has to, he fucking risked his neck breaking into SSA, just to talk to you.'
Lance just stared at Arthur and shook his head.
'What the hell happened on that roof top?' Lance asked in an awestruck tone. Arthur couldn't help but laugh.
'I have no idea,' Arthur shook his head.
'The high altitude must have made you two crazy, or maybe something in the food there,' Lance was still in shock.
'Crap. What the hell am I going to do,' Lance put his head in his hands 'I have to report this.'
'What? Lance no, please,' Arthur begged.
'I have to man!' Lance caught 'Risking your own career for...whatever this thing between you and Emrys is, is fine, but I don't want to risk mine.'
'What no! Oh come on you broke the primary directive as well,' Arthur pointed out.
'I did not!'Lance countered.
'I saw you and Gwen, you were batting your lashes like a school girl,' Arthur informed him.
'I was not!' Lance denied.
'A huh so you don't have her number saved on your phone then? Or an email account maybe?' Arthur asked and Lance and the decency to look ashamed.
'It's not the same as what you're doing! We're not all working our asses off back at SSA looking for Gwen when I know where she is!' Lance pointed out.
'I don't know where he is!' Arthur disclosed 'I never know where he is and he never tells me, so I'm not obligated to do anything.'
'Oh so you've found a loophole good for you,' Lance glared.
'Besides I think you're forgetting something,' Arthur didn't want to do this but didn't have a choice 'The mission in Argentina? When you got drunk the night before and nearly fucked up the mission entirely because you were still hung over?'
'...you're not serious?'
'I am,' Arthur assured him 'I covered for you and Owain never found out, but if he did, he would make sure you never got your gold star and you'll be stuck in that van for the rest of your career.'
'You're blackmailing me!' Lance stated.
'I'm sorry,' Arthur told him genuinely 'but I...I need this. I have to see him again.'
'AGAIN? You're going to do this again?'
'I'm sorry Lance,' Arthur sighed 'Please try to understand.'
'Oh I understand, you're Juliet,' Lance stated.
'I'm what?'
'You're Juliet to his Romeo, you're all bad boy smitten,' Lance sighed 'Of all the people you could have chosen to explore your sexuality with.'
Arthur couldn't help the smile that spread across his face.
'So we're good?' Arthur asked.
'...yeah...I'm not too crazy about the dating the enemy thing...or the being shot up with pink fluffy darts thing, or the possibly getting sacked thing, but okay. Just know that if this gets out I'm denying I knew anything,' Lance clarified.
'You were never there,' Arthur nodded.
'He better be worth the risk Arthur, that's all I can say,' Lance spoke before turning on the radio.
'Wait a sec, how come I'm Juliet?!' Arthur demanded.
When they pulled up the front of the house Owain was outside waiting for them looking really pissed off.
'Where the hell have you two been?' Owain demanded.
'Ah,' Arthur thought 'Chasing up a lead.'
'Yeah...I thought I found something, but it ended up being a big whole steaming pile of nothing,' Lance covered.
'Then why the hell didn't you tell us? You do have phones right?' Owain demanded.
'No time,' Arthur lied 'We figured that if he was there, there'd be slim chance he'd be sticking around for long, so we booked it over there. Sorry Owain it was poorly done.'
Owain ran his hands through his hair, obviously frustrated, but obviously too tired to care.
'Whatever man,' Owain groaned 'Damn it! I just can't get Merlin Bloody Emrys out of my head!'
'You too?' Lance's eyebrows rose.
'Yeah, the guy's messing with us, I know it. It's pissing me off,' Owain groaned 'It's like some big game to him.'
'Yeah and Arthur's the fucking prize,' Lance mumbled under his breath.
'What was that?' Owain asked.
'I said he's probably making up for his lack of size...you know? Like compensation?' Lance covered and Arthur frowned at him.
Owain gave a snort and headed back inside.
'I'm gonna go hit the hay, I'm fucking tired. We'll keep going tomorrow,' Owain went back inside the house.
When the boys returned to the hub the next morning they found it buzzing with activity. Over a dozen people were stationed at the computers; busily typing away. Gaius saw them and waved them over.
'What's going on?' Arthur asked.
'Uther's had a change of plan,' Gaius told them 'he wants you all training for the tournament tomorrow, so he's assigned a qualified team to take over from you for the time being. At least until the tournament has ended.'
'Ah okay?' Pen frowned confused.
'In fact from this point on this room is out of bounds for all four of you,' Gaius added.
'How the hell are we suppose to train?' Owain asked 'Arthur and I won't even know what our challenge is until five minutes before we're suppose to complete it.'
'Well then I suggest you practice everything,' Gaius spoke and folded his arms. Owain and Arthur groaned.
'Now off you go,' Gaius directed and shooed them off.
The guys stood outside the hub and paused.
'Well I guess that's that then,' Pen rubbed his hands together 'Can't say I'm disappointed at not being able to spend another day staring at a computer screen looking for Emrys. The guy's batman, I swear, he's got mad ninja skills.'
As if on cue Arthur's phone began to ring.
'Hello?' Arthur spoke.
'I think Gwen has a big girly crush on Lance,' Merlin stated on the other side of the phone Arthur heard someone, Gwen he supposed, muffling something at Merlin.
'That's disgraceful,' Arthur grinned stupidly and turned away from the guys ignoring Lance's scowl 'She should know better than fraternising with the enemy.'
'I don't need that from you Arthur Pendragon!' Arthur heard her this time.
'Oh she didn't like that,' Merlin observed over the phone 'the poor innocent apple in her hand is quite crushed, that's disgusting Gwen....UGH! It's in my hair!!'
Arthur laughed.
'Who throws fruit at people! Honestly!' Merlin shrieked.
'Aww did she mess up your pretty face?' Arthur teased.
'Oh shut up,' Merlin growled 'And you love my pretty face, don't pretend you don't.'
'I could, although I don't suppose it'd come off all too believable,' Arthur reasoned.
'Not in the least,' Merlin agreed 'Oh would you look at that, someone forgot to log off their computer, and their internet diary is just on screen where anyone could see it.'
'Merlin Emrys! I did no such thing!' Gwen yelled 'Stop hacking into my personal files you bugger!'
'Oh Lance, how do I love thee, let me count the ways!' Merlin sang a girl's voice 'Oh look, here she refers to herself as Gwen Allot. I wonder if she has their children's names picked out already.'
'I did not!' Gwen exclaimed, Arthur imagined her stamping her foot in annoyance.
'She even has Lance's SSA ID photo saved as her wallpaper,' Merlin observed.
' How terribly high school of her,' Arthur added.
'Terribly,' Merlin agreed.
'Merlin, GET OFF MY COMPUTER!' she ordered.
'Oh look, apparently Gwen has a thing for exhibitionism, I tell you what ,it's always the quiet ones,' Merlin spoke.
'That's IT!' Gwen yelled.
Arthur heard cursing, shouting and Merlin exclamation of 'Oh god my ears!' before the line went dead.
'Arthur!' Owain called out as Arthur put his phone away 'Come on, we should go train. I think hand to hand combat first.'
Arthur was lying in bed physically exhausted when Merlin called next.
'So you're alive,' Arthur spoke as he picked up the phone.
'Barely,' Merlin remarked 'That woman is evil.'
'Well she does work for you,' Arthur pointed out.
'Are you implying that I am evil?'
'Only a lot,' Arthur replied.
'Well I suppose to a goodie goodie like you I would be,' Merlin mocked 'If I'm so evil, then why are you talking to me?'
'I have a thing for bad boys, at least that's what Lance seems to think,' Arthur stated.
'Note to self, tomorrow must be sure to harass old ladies and steal candy from babies,'
'Arse.'
'Prat,' Merlin retaliated 'So...what are you wearing?'
'A French maids outfit, you?' Arthur asked.
'Gwen's' leather ensemble, it's quite form fitting,'
'Leather huh? Any other fetishes of yours I should know about?'
'Well I do have a thing for uniforms, preferably school boy ones, red blazer, navy tie, spy gun in waistband of trousers,' Merlin listed.
Arthur laughed and sighed.
'As much as I'd love to flirt you some more, I should get an early sleep for the tournament tomorrow,' Arthur realised dutifully.
'You call that flirting? Poor effort. I've had better with dinner girls! Girls Arthur,' Merlin sighed ' I have so much to teach you,'
'Merlin, there are several things I would love for you to teach me, flirting isn't exactly highest on the list,' Arthur confessed.
'...Now that's fucking flirting,' Merlin replied and coughed 'I've a completely random question for you with no current meaning or hidden agenda to it at all.'
'A huh,' Arthur frowned suspicious.
'Do you have a webcam?'
'...yes...why?' Arthur asked and looked over at his top of the line webcam on his desk.
'No reason at all, just a completely random question,' Merlin assured.
'Do I hear typing?' Arthur asked him.
'No...,' Merlin lied badly.
'What are you up to Merlin?'
'Surfing porn.'
'Now I know you're up to something, no one ever admits they're surfing porn unless they're doing something much worse,' Arthur argued.
'Worse than surfing porn?' Merlin asked him disbelievingly.
Over on his desk Arthur saw his webcam jerk.
'A HUH! My webcam just moved!' Arthur cried victoriously.
'Well did you move it?' Merlin teased.
'No, you bloody well did!' Arthur exclaimed 'You prat you're hacking into my webcam!'
'Oh dear, I think all this tournament pressure's gone and driven you barmy,'
'Oh please this is plainly the work of an evil computer genius,' Arthur argued.
Suddenly the webcam moved again and fully revolved to face Arthur on the bed.
'A huh you did it again! You're trying to watch me while I'm in bed you perv,' Arthur was grinning from ear to ear.
'Am not!'
'Well in that case,' Arthur smirked and put the iphone on loudspeaker before standing up and stripping off his blazer.
'Ah Arthur? What are you doing?' Merlin's voice asked.
'Keep talking Merlin, I'm just going to get ready for bed,' Arthur told him, loosening and pulling off his tie before starting on the buttons of his shirt.
Despite Arthur's encouragement for Merlin to continue the conversation the other line had gotten very quiet. Arthur finished unbuttoning his shirt and threw it toward his 'dirty pile'.
'Still there Merlin?' Arthur asked as he started to unzip his trousers.
'Mmngh,' the phone articulated.
Arthur slid the trousers down his legs, leaving him in only his boxer briefs.
'Criminey,' a voice breathed out on the other end of the phone.
Arthur crawled back onto the bed, giving the webcam a very good view of his ass. This earned him a whimper from his phone.
'You tease,' Merlin growled.
'That's what you get for hacking into my personal webcam and lying about it,' Arthur grinned.
'Okay, lesson learned, you can put your clothes back on now,'
'You sure about that?' Arthur asked and started to play with the waistline of his Calvin Kleins.
'Fuuuck,' Merlin groaned.
Arthur slipped his hands inside his briefs and took hold of himself, making him bite his lip and he began to harden under the material.
'Jesus Arthur,'
Arthur spread his legs for the webcam and slowly began to stroke beneath his briefs.
'Arthur,' Merlin whimpered and Arthur heard noises on the other end of the phone 'You have no idea how incredibly fucking hot you are.'
Arthur smirked at the camera, got up onto his knees, keeping his legs spread. He twisted his wrist and moaned as his body bucked forward a little.
'Christ! I take that back you know exactly how hot you are,' Merlin groaned.
'Are you touching yourself Merlin?' Arthur rasped.
'There's no way I could stop myself, seeing you like that, fuck! How hard are you Arthur? How hard does it make you knowing I'm watching? Are you already leaking? Soaking your shorts for me?'
Arthur's hips moved involuntarily that time, his cock twitching at Merlin's words.
'Ahh!' Arthur bit his lip again as his strokes hardened, his cockhead slipping a little out of his shorts.
'Oh fuck!' Merlin cursed again 'I should be bloody recording this.'
That made Arthur hotter than he thought possible. Arthur pulled down his boxers and began to slowly tease his bare cock in front of Merlin.
'God Damn!' Merlin drawled.
'You- always...use profanity- when you're horny?'Arthur asked as he ghosted his fingertips along his cock, before moving them to the tip gathering and then spreading his pre come along the shaft.
'I don't really notice...fuck Arthur,' Merlin moaned.
Arthur pumped himself slowly, flicking his wrist, stopping and playing with the head. Arthur's head tipped back, he was going to draw this out, he wanted to show Merlin everything.
'Spread you legs a little more,' Merlin requested and Arthur complied.
'Damn it, if I asked you to pump a little harder, would you?' Merlin asked.
'Anything,' Arthur panted and tightened his fist around his cock. Arthur keened and began to thrust his hips into his fist.
'Fuuck Arthur,' Merlin gasped 'So hot.'
'Merlin! I'm close,' Arthur whimpered 'Do...do it with me?'
'Yeah, yeah okay, shit, it's not going to take much Arthur, you're so fucking gorgeous,' Merlin groaned 'So hot seeing you all flushed and hard for me. Willing to do whatever I fucking want. Fucking SSAB agent falling apart, jerking himself off for me, willing to do whatever I want.'
Arthur looked up from under his fringe at the camera.
'It works both ways,' Arthur told him 'I bet right now you feel like your bodies on fire, like you're so close to something so fucking great. I feel it too, I know that when we're finally like this together, it's going to blow our minds. You naked yet Merlin? Stripped down bare, all sweaty and turned on? Pumping your own fist looking at me?'
'Ugh! Fuck you Arthur, you're trying to kill me! I knew it, new SSAB method-,' Merlin's breath hitched there and there came a little whimper 'Death by over stimulation-fuck.'
'Talking too much,' Arthur told him, stopped and brought his hand up to lick along his palm tasting himself.
'Fucking hell!' Merlin groaned.
Arthur began to fuck his fist again. Christ he was so close. He could feel it all building up, about to blow from the head of his cock, his toes were crawling and his body was pushing itself forward.
'Merlin!' Arthur warned desperately.
'Right here, I'm watching you.'
And that's when Arthur lost it. It was like getting hit by a fucking truck. Arthur's head fell back and his mouth fell open and he was coming long and hard and fucking everywhere.
'Ahh!' a voice cried out on the phone.
Arthur collapsed back on his bed panting.
'Was it good for you?' Arthur asked him. Merlin laughed on the other end.
'Hell yes, god, I can't believe how god damn perfect you are,' Merlin gasped.
'Who are you talking to, me or my cock?' Arthur teased.
'Hmm well you both have very fine traits,'
Arthur laughed.
'Well I better let you get some rest,' Merlin spoke.
'Oh god I think I'm going to pass out,' Arthur agreed.
'Good night then, oh and just to avoid any awkward social moments tomorrow morning, you might want to wash the come out of your fringe,' Merlin advised and hung up.
The morning of the tournament the Dean, the handlers, the staff and the SSA students (minus Lance who was off god knows where), waited outside the front of the school for the arrival of the Botany Bay Academy (The Australian version of SSA, yeah no fancy words there, they went for the "oh look at us we're just you're average separated boys and girls schools, aren't we pretty?" approach) and AOE, The Academy of Espionage (the American Version of SSA). The foreign schools were arriving by bus from the closest airport, since SSA's private airstrip was being made ready for the flight challenge (yes that's right, SSA had their own airport, how did you think Pen, Nimueh and all the other kids taking advanced avionics learnt how to pilot?).
Everyone competed in the tournament however the younger years were the minor leagues, a big deal for them but not so much everyone else. The senior years were the majors; however everyone came to watch the Alpha teams from each school face off against one another. Because they were the best, the alpha teams got special attention. Instead of the entire teams facing each other, each individual member challenged the corresponding member of the other alpha groups according to skill. For example Pen would be competing against the other alpha pilots from Australia and America, Lance the other tech guys and Arthur and Owain would be teaming up against the point men and their seconds in a secret challenge.
Of course Arthur and his team had faced their opponents before, in their younger years, but never one on one. Although a while back; on one of their first missions, Arthur's team found themselves in the position where they had to co-operate with the Australian Alpha Team (or Gold Team as they called them). Both teams had despised the thought of co-operating and treated each other with distain, but over the months of the investigation those feelings turned to respect, then admiration before becoming what the Gold Team called "Good mates". At the end they had shooks hands and their leader, Will had offered their help whenever Arthur and the boys needed it.
'Once you've earned the friendship of an Aussie, you're mates for life,' Will had told them.
Arthur looked forward to seeing the guys again, it had been a while. Plus, they had one hell of a sense of humour. When Arthur had spoken of a friend who had sent them crocodiles for a school prank, he had been referring to these chuckleheads. Arthur had no doubt the boys would use the event to release their practical joke creativity.
A bus finally drove up the long and impressive driveway, it parked in front of them. It took one look at the giant painted naked girl on the side of the bus, with only the Australian flag to cover her, to know the pranking had already begun. Tanned young guys filed out of the bus in moron and blue uniforms. Arthur spotted a familiar face and called him over.
'Oi Will!' Arthur shouted.
Will immediately saw him and ran over pulling Arthur into a big manly hug.
'Hey, how are you guys doing in this nightmarishly freezing place?' Will asked them.
'Good, you?' Owain asked.
'Can't complain, no worries here. By the way I hear you guys are tracking down that Emrys guy?' Will asked 'You get a hold of him tell him he's a bloody genius! That shit with the Queen and that Norris guy? Fucking inspirational!'
'I'll say, I nearly pulled something I laughed so hard,' Darren, another guy from the Gold Team came up beside Will. Darren was Will's second.
'How you guys doin? God! It's fucking cold!' Darren rubbed his hands together.
'Welcome to Britain,' Owain laughed.
'Yeah great, when can I go back home to the beach?' Darren rolled his eyes.
'Where's Hugh?' Pen asked.
Hugh was Gold Team's pilot, Pen had nothing but respect for him. Apparently Hugh could do things in a plane that rocked Pen's world.
'Ahh...,' Darren and Will chorused.
As if on cue screaming suddenly started as one guy in an SSAB uniform was pushing through people continuing to scream and run away as he was chased by a huge lizard (by British standards, about the size of a ruler and a half) as it hissed and chased after him. Seeing a boy trained in espionage running away screaming from a lizard....it was one of the funniest looking things Arthur's ever seen in his life. The screaming one pulled out his gun and turned to aim it at the lizard. That's when Hugh stepped out of the crowd and picked it up.
'Easy there mate,' Hugh defended 'He just wanted to have it on with your leg. Not his fault you've got legs as fine as any girl...or a scream for that matter.'
Will covered up his laugh when one of the Australian handlers stepped forward looking pissed.
'Hugh!'
'Hello Sir!' Hugh smiled innocently.
'What is that?' he demanded.
'This? This is Slash sir, he's a bearded dragon,' Hugh informed him, and the bearded dragon hissed on cue...it was kind of scary really, when it frilled up like that.
'I know what it is! What is it doing here?! You cannot bring indigenous Australian wildlife to another country!'
'Why not? I gotta nice warm fake eco system set up for him and Slasher here is all male, so there's no chance of a sudden surge in bearded dragon babies in the UK,' Hugh rationalised.
'Yes, well customs-,'
'Would that be the same customs that you smuggled that fine xxxx beer around?' Hugh asked. (xxxx, pronounce "4 x")
That made the handler stop and pale.
'Not that I can blame you, British beer's a lot like a canoe, it's bloody close to water!' Hugh joked and Darren lost what little control he had and doubled over.
'Will!' the handler shouted.
'Yes sir!' Will responded.
'Put a leash, or a muzzle, on your subordinates will you!'
'Sir, yes sir! Hugh, heel!' Will yelled and Hugh came running over, after shoving Slash in his jacket out of the cold.
'Dude, he's so punked,' Hugh whispered to his team mates 'I see bearded dragon excrement in his coffee's future.'
'Yeah and I see his xxxx in mine,' Darren grinned.
'Hugh!' Pen called out. Hugh turned and spotted him.
'Penny baby!' Hugh grinned and pulled Pen into a hug, mindful of slash.
'I hate it when you call me that,' Pen scowled.
'That's not what you said last night,' Hugh smirked and Pen shoved him playfully, before they immediately started fanboying about some new model of some sort of engine.
'I'm so screwed!' Lance suddenly appeared beside Will and made him jump.
'Jesus man!' Will recovered.
'Not more of this shit, you just need to calm down and have a little confidence,' Owain scorned him.
'It's not a matter of confidence it's a matter of ability!' Lance corrected 'And against Homer Fucking Grayson I don't stand a chance.'
'And who is Homer Fucking Grayson?' Will asked.
'He's the American alpha team's tech guy,' Arthur informed.
'The guy's a legend,' Lance sighed 'He's a hacking genius!!...I'm so screwed!'
'Oh yeah I heard about that guy, he's suppose to be fully active in the CIA on VIP missions,' Darren realised.
'I'm so screwed,' Lance whined.
'Oh god shut up!' Owain rolled his eyes.
'Lance!' Gavin, the last member of Gold Team, a skinny guy in a billabong cap, ran up toward them.
'Heya Gavin, where have you been?' Hugh asked and dropped an arm around the smaller guy's shoulders.
'Praying,' Gavin replied and turned to Lance 'Man, we are so screwed!'
'I know!' Lance agreed.
'No worries Gavin,' Will shrugged 'We'll just have to beat the yanks in everything else, victory is based on team score remember?'
'Yeah, and then we'll beat you, everybody wins,' Owain grinned.
'Ahh getting a little cocky are we?' Will grinned.
'Heck no I'm just being realistic,' Owain grinned.
'Oh it's on Pom,' Will smirked.
'Save it for the challenges boys,' Arthur laughed 'Ours don't start until tomorrow, the Alpha Girls teams go first remember?'
'Which I think is completely sexist,' Gavin gave his two cents 'I know several female spies that are top of their field, and have taken down male operative twice their weight in muscle mass.'
'That's not what this is about,' Will shrugged 'It's just school competition here, and like in any normal inter school competition events are separated by gender.'
'I still think it's sexist,' Gavin grumbled.
'Look at it this way,' Darren offered 'It saves you from the humiliation of getting your geek butt kicked by a girl.'
'Yeah dude, let's face it Lenny's a hell of a lot more competent with computers than you are,' Hugh agreed.
'Who's Lenny?' Owain asked.
'The tech wiz on the girls Gold Team, she's freaking amazing...although a little eccentric,' Will described.
'She's not eccentric she's a fangirl,' Gavin explained.
'Yeah and no matter how many times you tell me that or explain it to me I still know what the hell that is,' Will shrugged.
'That's okay,' Gavin patted his shoulder 'I think it's better for some not to know. You'll get along fine with her just don't bother her on a Friday afternoon when the Supernatural torrent becomes available...or when she's reading something on live journal.'
'Dude I don't speak geek!' Will growled.
'I do, and trust me you don't to know,' Lance spoke up and then turned to Arthur 'Although you might.'
'Really?' Gavin asked eye brows raised 'Well I heard they were more open that sort of thing in the UK, now if the Australian government would wake the hell up and stop kissing America's ass-,'
'Hey! We don't kiss anyone's ass!' Will denied while Arthur frowned confused about what Lance had said.
'Sure we don't, but the politicians do,' Gavin specified.
'Fucking god damn politicians,' Will grumbled.
That's when a bus double the size of the Botany Bay Academy's, pulled out front of the school.
'Speak of the devil,' Will glared at the bus.
'The Americans,' Gavin scowled and folded his arms 'Man I hate these guys. I mean not American people...cause that's racist, I meant the American team...Eugh I'm doing that word vomit thing again aren't I?'
Darren nodded but patted his shoulder in support.
'Check out their bus man,' Hugh snorted 'You think they're overcompensating.'
The Gold Team chuckled.
'Hey you never know,' Pen spoke up 'Maybe it's just like with us, I mean we hated you Australian bastards too until we had to work together and realised you...well you are bastards, but we don't hate you anymore.'
'Aww Penny you say the sweetest things,' Hugh batted his eyelashes and Pen, who shoved him again.
'We have worked with the American Top Team, and trust me, they're exactly what they seem, narcissistic, arrogant, assholes, who have to run the show their way. And when we're done, take all the fucking credit,' Will growled ' I really hate these guys.'
'The girl teams alright though,' Gavin defended.
'Oh yeah, I remember the girl team,' Hugh grinned broadly.
'I bet you do,' Darren smirked 'I was in the room next to yours for that assignment, and the walls were thin. You kept me up till four am with that American chick.'
'I think you mean chick-s,' Hugh emphasized.
'Oh god damn you,' Will growled and shoved him.
The American school began to file out of the bus, the head of the school walking over to with the Dean of SSA and the Dean of BBA. The American alpha team (or red team as they called themselves) stepped off and walked straight over toward them.
'Uploading mental jerk force fields,' Gavin mumbled.
'Well, it's the fags and roo rapers, don't you all look chummy,' the American Point boy approached wearing his black and white uniform, with designer sunglasses thrown in.
'Watch your fucking mouth Mordred,' Will warned and stepped forward.
'I'm just calling it how it is, everyone knows all you fucking Australian's do is rape kangaroos and sheep, and the British are all inbred fags, what kind of screwed up government legalises gay marriage anyway?' Mordred smirked.
'The British are Inbred Fags how the hell does that work?' Gavin frowned trying to figure it out 'Men can't have kids to be born inbred,'
'Don't strain yourself Gavin,' another boy with brown hair stepped forward 'You're going to need something resembling brain left for the tournament.'
'Homer,' Gavin greeted tensely.
'I'd be careful what you say about fags here,' Hugh warned 'After all Deliverance and Pulp Fiction were American movies,'
'Squeal like a pig!' Will cried out in a hillbilly voice.
'Whee, whee, oh no my poor virginal American ass!' Darren played along.
'Besides, the British gay people are freaking awesome...and rich,' Hugh continued 'Specifically Ian McKellan,'
'And Elton John,' Darren added.
'Not to mention Harry Potter,' Will mentioned 'It still counts even if they're in the closet.'
'You mean the character or the actor?' Darren asked curious.
'Both.'
'Ahh.'
'And gay American people suck,' Hugh added.
'And by all gay American people what we really mean is Tom Cruise,' Darren corrected.
'Yeah Ellen Degeneres is awesome,' Hugh agreed.
'Wow I heard that Australians were stupid mother fuckers but I never imagined this level of utter idiocy,' Mordred remarked.
'Say the word Will and I'll have Slasher chew his balls off,' Hugh offered 'I had him trained to do it for just this occasion.'
'Hey! There have been plenty of smart Australians!' Gavin defended.
'Hugh Jackman,' Darren stated.
'Cate Blanchet,' Hugh added.
'ACDC,' Darren mentioned.
'And that blond guy on House,' Will recalled.
'Are celebrities all you people think about?' Owain gaped.
'What else is there?' Darren pointed out.
'Is that what passes for wit in the outback?' Homer mocked.
'I don't know, is that what passes for a face in America?' Hugh asked.
'Keep going Maverick I'm going to blow you out of the sky,' One of the Red Team's other members (Arthur assumed the pilot) challenged Hugh.
'Why Alex, that sounded vaguely sexual!' Hugh gasped.
Alex grabbed the front of Hugh's blazer and Pen immediately pushed him off. Arthur stepped forward between the groups and pulled Pen back before things could escalate.
'Let's just watch the testosterone levels now okay boys,' Arthur eased.
'I recognise you from your Daddies email,' Mordred smirked and stepped forward 'Arthur Pendragon, spy from a line of spies. I'm going to show your Daddy how much of a coward and a failure you really are.'
'We'll see,' Arthur stated 'I think its best you move alone now.'
'We'll go wherever we want, whenever we want,' Mordred stepped up to him.
'Not here you can't,' Arthur sneered.
'Mr Bigshot huh?' Mordred snorted 'What are you gonna do? Faggot.'
'Hugh?' Arthur spoke up and Hugh saluted in attention 'Release the dragon.'
A/N: okay, so there was a bit of American bashing but I totally didn't mean it! I swear! I just needed to make up some jerks and Americans seemed like the obvious choice :p JOKING. I love America it's home to Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles as well as where all my favourite movies come from. Sure SOME Americans can be assholes but most fangirls come from there too, so respect man (taps chest and does peace symbol)
