Again, thanks to those who left comments, glad you like the story. On with part 4.

****

Crouched by the police cars, they all let out a collective sigh.

'That was way too close.' Prentiss thought.

Fear at what almost happened was plainly written on everybody's faces. They all knew the risks involved with the job. You got up in the morning but you were never absolutely sure to return home at the end of your shift. Still, until one came face to face with this possibility, it remained largely unmentioned.

"You okay JJ?" JJ's face was ashen.

"I'll be fine Spence."

To Morgan, "What do we do now?"

"We have to get them out and from what Rossi just told us, the sooner the better." He looked at the second floor window. He had a decision to make, one that could mean the life or death of two colleagues. Sometimes this job sucks, Derek thought.

"Are you going to talk to Trevor Gordon again?" Emily asked.

"What else can I do?"

"Do you think he will listen?" Reid asked although he knew full well that those who seek control and recognition often went out in a hail of bullets. The chance of survival for hostages in this kind of situation was 12%. Spencer kept this knowledge to himself.

"I don't know Reid. Let's hope so, for the sakes of Hotch and Rossi." He went to talk with the SWAT team leader, just in case things turned ugly again and they needed to strike.

***

Things in the house were quiet now. Steward Gordon had joined his brother at the window and could see the cops coming and going but not one of them was making a move towards the house. They all seemed to be waiting for something.

His hand went to his face rubbing at his day old stubble. He was getting tired. Lack of food and continuous attention to what was happening with the feds was keeping him on edge. 'Something hasta give soon.' He kept thinking, 'how to get out of this alive'? He didn't want to die either here or on the electric chair. If the fed lived they wouldn't have any reason to fry them would they? He looked at the hostages. The old one, the one with the goatee, was looking at his colleague with what Steward could only interpret as worry. The wounded one was slumped against the wall, head down on his chest, hair matted with sweat. Steward watched him and was relieved when he saw the man's chest rise and fall. Good, he was still alive. They still had a chance to live through this. If only he knew how to convince his brother to let the agents go.

"Trevor?"

His brother did not answer, just looked at the cops who were watching the house.

"Trevor, let's end this while we still can." He pleaded.

"Go back and watch the stairs Stew." Trevor said without looking at his brother.

Steward knew this tone, it meant no arguments. He went back to watching the stairs.

***

Time was getting away Rossi knew. This bust had started two hours ago. How long did they still have? Or more to the point, how long did Hotch have left? He felt so powerless sitting there, watching Hotch slowly bleed to death. How could it all come down to this? Busts were part of almost every case and so far none of the team had gotten hurt. Maybe they were due. Maybe it was God's way of letting them know that they had been lucky so far and needed to remind them to never take anything for granted. If this was the case, it was a high price to pay, too high in Dave's opinion.

Rossi remembered the first time he had met Special Agent Aaron Hotchner. Dave had been teaching at the FBI academy. At first, nothing had set Hotchner apart from the other students except for his age. He was older. This had got Rossi's attention. He had read Hotch's file, knew he was stationed in Seattle. His file proclaimed he was smart, ambitious and dedicated to the job. What the file didn't say was that Aaron Hotchner was a born profiler. Rossi had discovered that Hotch had an uncanny insight into and understanding of criminals' motivations. For every exercise he had given the class, Hotch hadn't been the first one to finish. A student named Richard Stall had, and would brag about his speed. Often, he would make remarks insinuating that as you got older, you got slower. That remark had been directly aimed at Hotchner. The ridiculing lasted until the first grade came out. Hotchner had the best score of all the students by a wide margin. His profiles were well thought out and extremely accurate. Rossi had been so impressed that he had talked to Jason Gideon, his colleague at the BAU about this student who aced all of the exercises and exams he had come up with. Gideon had asked Rossi to arrange a meeting with Hotchner. At the meeting Gideon had been equally surprised by Hotch. Jason had asked him his opinion on a current case. The student-agent had looked at all angles, remembering to weigh in the unsub's motivations when analyzing the criminal's actions. When the FBI eventually arrested the suspect, the subsequent interview revealed that Hotchner's analysis had been right all along.

Jason had asked SSA Hotchner why he wanted to join the BAU when he could have any post in the FBI, especially considering his ambition. Hotch hadn't said anything for a few minutes, thinking. Gideon had waited patiently for an answer. When it came he wasn't disappointed. Hotch's dark eyes had locked with Gideon's, never wavering. "I am ambitious Agent Gideon, I don't deny it. I work hard, I don't count hours and I am prepared to make sacrifices. To get to the top of the FBI would require me to do good work, to know the right people and to deal with politics. All of this I can do without much effort. But the BAU demands that I be the best because the victims and their love ones deserve it. These people count on the BAU to catch those who murdered their loved ones." Jason had said that Hotch had leant towards him and in an intense but soft, confident voice, said "I know I can help catch those killers and I relish the challenge."

Gideon had liked Hotchner's explanation but knew you needed more than desire to join the BAU. The BAU is made of FBI elite; it has a roster of only twenty-five agents. Only the very best were encouraged to submit their candidacy for consideration. But a rare thing happened. SSA Hotchner was given his choice of posts, which included the BAU, right after his graduation from the profiling classes. It was unheard of that an agent was offered a place without first asking to be considered. Hotch had been that good. No wonder he was now the BAU's Unit Chief.

A soft groan told Rossi that Hotch was regaining consciousness. Dave watched him carefully. Aaron seemed disoriented at first, but then his eyes settled on Trevor's back and narrowed. Rossi would have sworn that he saw hate in Hotch's brown eyes.

"What were you thinking about when you were standing in front of the window?" It was as good a diversion as any.

It took a moment for Hotchner to take his gaze away from Trevor Gordon. He looked at Rossi, not sure where he was going with the question. He replied, reluctantly, "I was thinking about why I do this job." At Rossi's sceptical frown he added, "It seemed like a good time to question my motives."

"Nothing like a gun at the back of your head to clarify things." Rossi agreed.

"Something like that."

"And?"

Tiredly, "What?"

"And, why are you doing this job?"

Hotch took his time to answer. There were many reasons why he was a FBI agent and worked at the BAU. It wasn't for the money. He could easily make double what the FBI paid him as a lawyer. It wasn't because the job had perks unless you counted the free rides on a government- owned jet. The hours could be brutal. He was away from home often. He knew that it was the main reason why Haley had divorced him. It was a demanding occupation which took its toll on those who did it. Violence, blood, trauma, death were part of the job.

He could come up with many reasons why he shouldn't be a BAU profiler but only one for why he did show up at work every day, "Because, it's who I am." He answered simply.

Rossi nodded, "I understand, for some of us it's a calling."

Hotch's wounded leg was throbbing. Carefully, he moved it towards his right one. A small trail of blood was left behind. He took a deep breath to try to ease the pain. After a few seconds, he felt better. "Some of us? Who do you think in the team is doing this for any other reason?" He asked. He knew they weren't supposed to profile each other but really, who didn't? You just didn't talk about it.

Rossi smiled at that, "Ah, you're trying to trap me Agent Hotchner."

A thin smile crossed Hotch's lips, "You're paranoid Dave."

"Maybe" Rossi conceded. However, seeing that Hotch's eyes were closing, he answered Hotch's question, if only to keep the man engaged, "I'm not sure about Prentiss."

It took some effort for Hotch to think about Dave's answer, he was so tired and feeling lethargic. Still, talking to Dave was taking his mind of his predicament.

Prentiss' arrival at the BAU had been less than by the book. She had shown up without any transfer papers and Hotch had never authorized her admission to the BAU. Later on, he had learned that his supervisor, Section Chief Erin Strauss had planted Emily Prentiss on his team in the hope that Prentiss would pay back her way into the BAU by gathering incriminating evidence on him. She hadn't rewarded Strauss, not even after Hotchner had confessed to her that maybe Elle Greenaway had indeed executed a suspect and that Reid had at one time a drug problem which he hadn't reported. Hotch took a deep breath. Pain radiated from his left side and abdomen. Ignoring it, "Prentiss is like us Dave, she wants in and she makes the sacrifices." Hotch thought about Emily's empty apartment, no sign of anyone living with her. Like most of them, she had no significant other, she lived for her work. The BAU was very demanding to those who aspired to work there. He knew that from experience; it had cost him his family. Although he had worked out an agreement with his ex-wife Haley, so he could see his son Jack every time he wanted, he still felt as if it wasn't enough. Not enough time spend watching his son grow, not enough time playing with him or just doing the everyday life things like having a meal together or going to the park or watching tv.

"I don't question how much she wants to be in the BAU but her motives." Rossi clarified.

"We all have our reasons."

"Yes but still, you said it yourself, this is who you are, a profiler. So am I and Reid and Morgan but Prentiss?" Rossi looked at Trevor Gordon, the man was quiet now. He kept looking at the scene outside his home. Seeing that Gordon wasn't paying them any attention he continued his explanation, "She hasn't made an impression on me as a profiler."

"Give her time, she just joined the team a year ago and you've known her less."

"Hmm", was Rossi's dubious answer.

Hotch looked at Rossi and frowned. He didn't like dissention in the ranks. They were a team and needed to act like one. Which meant you protected your team members' backs no matter what, unless they proved unworthy themselves. They needed to trust each other. Elle's name came to mind. She had stopped trusting them, especially him. She blamed him for having being shot, and he still thought he should have done more to prevent the incident. Gideon had tried to reason with him about his guilty conscience saying he wasn't responsible for Anderson's mistake. For that matter, Jason was the one who had defied the unsub, who had retaliated by shooting Elle. Still, he should have been clearer about Anderson's orders. If he had, Elle wouldn't have been shot and she subsequently wouldn't have lost faith in the team and in him in particular. "Why are you back in the BAU, Dave?"

Rossi looked away from Hotch. How could he explain when he wasn't sure why he had returned after vowing to 'never go back because he would rather die than see another mutilated body' He had said this to his supervisor as he had handed in his badge. Hotch's question was valid, why was he back? Not for the money. His publishing deal had brought him a few million dollars. He liked the process of writing books. It was like profiling, you had to research your subject, know the point in writing it. Profiling was essentially the same, you had to research the unsub's life, find out why he/she did what they did in order to prevent him/her from killing again. "Because I learned that I prefer to write profiles instead of books even if the money isn't that good."

That was as good an answer as any, Hotch thought.

"I also feel I have a duty to the victims, you know." Looking at Hotch, who was nodding, he added, "I had this old case, the Galen case..."

"We all have those Dave."

"I know."

"But?"

"I..." Rossi took out from his jeans pocket a gold bracelet; it showed silhouettes with names on them. He showed it to Hotchner who just looked at it, waiting for an explanation. "...I promised these kids that I would find and bring to justice their parents' murderer." He sighed and looked at Hotch; guilt was plain in his dark eyes, "and it took me twenty- one years to do it."

Hotch stared at Rossi, not liking what Dave just admitted. The team had dealt with another ex-BAU agent who came back to just close an old case a year ago. Hotch hadn't liked working with Ryan because Ryan's motivation had seemed to be his ego. His need to close the case came over team work. Ryan had been more adamant at the fact the unsub had been the only one he hadn't caught than the fact that there were still women being killed. Selfishness was a cardinal sin in Hotchner's opinion. If you came back to the BAU, it should be for the right reason, like stopping innocents from being killed. Still, Hotch had to admit, despite his everyday effort not to show it, a profiler was only human. Some cases got to you no matter how you tried to distance yourself. He knew first hand that sometime distance was impossible. In the Abby case,Gideon had to intervene before he had endangered himself by trying to save Abby from a raging inferno. Later, in the safety of his home, lying next to Haley, he had spent the night examining his actions in that case. Gideon and Morgan had had to physically restrain him; he knew from this that he had gotten too involved, he had identified too closely with Abby and he shouldn't have. As a profiler, to be the most effective, one had to keep a certain distance. Profilers had to understand the unsub as to why they killed and why they choose their victims.The trap was not to identify with either the unsub or victim.He had not only made that mistake with Abby but also with Vincent Perotta, a serial killer with an abused past.

'Really, Aaron, who are you to cast the first stone?' He asked himself in self-admonishment. He tilted his head towards Rossi, "Don't let it be the only reason why you came back."

Rossi shook his head, gave Hotchner his all knowing smile that Morgan found so annoying. "I know that I have a big ego Hotch but not that big. I still know what this job is all about." He nodded at Trevor Gordon, "It's all about making sure people like him don't make more victims."

"Good to know that despite you being a big star writer, you still have humility Dave." Hotch said with a hint of uncharacteristic humour.

***

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