Author's Note: I'm so sorry its been so long since I updated this story. I fell into a sort of...spell, I suppose you could say, under which I had absolutely no imagination. But it seems I've gotten it back.
Thank you to all of my lovely reviewers, and those of you who are sticking with this story.
I hope you enjoy!
As she exited Emily's spare bedroom, having just put Henry down, JJ's thoughts were racing. She didn't understand what had set Will off this time. He drank often, he always had. Said it was part of his 'culture'. But it wasn't often he was a mean drunk. And he had never –
"—hit you!?" Emily's voice startled her out of her thoughts as she took the last step down the stairs.
"Em!" She whispered harshly. "You're going to wake Henry." JJ pushed past Emily and walked into the living room, pulling her hair down from its ponytail and into her face.
"Uh-uh, no way!" Emily said, her voice lowered but no less passionate. "There is no way you're going to call me to come and rescue your child, and from your husband, no less, and then start hiding things from me. Jennifer Jareau, I care more about you than you could even fathom, do not block me out now."
Emily finished her speech, sitting next to JJ on the couch, reaching out for one of the younger woman's hands.
"I didn't ask you to rescue him, Emily." JJ spat, wrenching her hand out of Emily's grasp. She continued on in the same tone, "And yes, him. Him, not me. I do not recall asking you to drag me out of my own house at five in the morning so I could bare my soul to you."
Emily sat, momentarily stunned silent.
"JJ, you do remember the last hour, don't you? You weren't drinking, too, before I showed up?" Emily reached out with shaking fingers and pushed the hair away from JJ's face, tucking it behind her ear. J reached up and slid her fingers into Emily's, settling their intertwined hands into her lap.
"I'm just scared. This isn't supposed to be happening. I'm supposed to love Will. Its practically written in stone. My mother loves him. My father tolerates him. Which is more than can be said for anyone else I've ever brought home. He gave me Henry. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have Henry, Emily. I certainly wouldn't be me." JJ stopped when she ran out of breath, and Emily wrapped her arms around the younger woman, pulling her close.
"Shh, Jayje. S'ok. You don't have to explain anything to me. I know what confusion is. I know how confusing this is. But you don't have to sort it all out tonight. We've got to be to work in a little less than four hours. Sleep is what you need right now." Emily moved to get up, but JJ grabbed her arm, effectively stilling her.
JJ wasn't sure what had gotten into her lately. Calling Emily at four thirty in the morning, and admitting that she dreamed about the older woman. Taking Henry from Will. Almost kissing Emily... Scratch that almost...
JJ slid closer to Emily as she weaved her fingers into the hair at the base of Emily's neck. Using that grip, JJ brought Emily's mouth down onto hers, her eyes closing as the brunette began to respond. Emily's hands found purchase at JJ's hips and brought the woman impossibly closer as JJ's lips parted slightly and her tongue slid against Emily's. Emily brought one of her hands up to cup JJ's chin, slowly terminating their kiss and pressing her lips chastely against the other woman's cheek. As Emily pulled away JJ's eyes lit with an uncertain light.
"What? Did I...Did I do it wrong? Don't you...Emily don't you want me?" JJ pulled her arms into herself, not sure where this streak of low self esteem had come from but definitely not liking it, or where she was sure it was going to lead.
Emily reached out for JJ again. Two fingers under the blonde's chin brought the young woman's eyes to meet Emily's.
"I cannot believe you would ask that. I can't believe that you feel you have to ask that. Yes, I want you. I want you more than anything, and I have for quite a while. But I can't. Not tonight. Not until you're completely sure of what you want. I won't hurt you. I can't..."
JJ watched as Emily tried, and failed, to blink the tears away. But she couldn't understand why the other woman was crying. She couldn't bring herself to believe the words, those wonderful things, that came flowing so beautifully out of Emily's mouth. She couldn't take the chance of being wrong. She let Emily place another chaste kiss against her lips, and she settled into the brunettes arms to try and get some sleep.
Emily slept fitfully, happily believing her misguided delusions of finally getting the girl.
For JJ, sleep did not come so easily. She set herself to the task of memorizing everything about sleeping with Emily. The way, whenever she moved, Emily's arms would tighten around her abdomen. The way Emily murmured her name and settled back against her. When the time came and Emily's eyes opened and she kissed the side of JJ's head, pulling her closer, JJ felt the tears prick the back of her eyes. As she watched the sleep fall from Emily's eyes and the wonder take its place, she felt her heart wrench as she realized that this time tomorrow, Emily would have no wonder filling her eyes. For it wouldn't be Emily's arms JJ was slipping out of, but Wills.
A/N: Review??
