Chapter 4:

Andrew leans against a willow tree in a large suburban park, unseen by the humans around him who have flocked here to enjoy the pleasant weather. He glances at his pocket watch, willing time to speed up as he waits for his next assignment.

He has not seen Monica or Tess in over a week, and he can't begin to describe how much he misses his friends. But he knows that this is the best thing to do. He is so afraid of hurting Monica, of losing his best friend. He'd rather be in pain for a little while, until he can reign in his emotions, than see her hurt. Actually, he thinks, he would rather be in pain the rest of his existence than see her with a paper cut, but he hopes it won't come to that.

So he has completed assignment after assignment, trying to keep his mind too busy to stray to Monica. He takes soul after soul Home, and though he throws himself fully into his work, bringing peace and comfort to those souls, his heart just isn't in it. He isn't experiencing the joy he usually feels when a soul first enters Heaven. He can't find enjoyment in any of the things he usually does- the birds flying overhead, the laughter of children in the park, the smell of lilacs wafting through the air… They all seem duller, somehow, almost fuzzy. And they all remind him of Monica.

Sometimes, he thinks he is getting better at pushing these thoughts aside, at rebuilding the wall around his heart- a wall not to keep others out, but to keep his own love in.

But it is in these moments of downtime, waiting between assignments, that it all washes over him again, the immense love he feels for Monica and the pain that follows, knowing that love is impossible.

Turning his head, he notices an elderly couple sitting together on a nearby bench, holding hands and laughing at the antics of the children playing on the jungle gym. Andrew feels another jolt of longing course through him at this sight, imagining their life together- falling in love, getting married, having children, growing old… the promises, the joy, the shared pain, the support, the millions of memories created and experienced together… He yearns to have that opportunity with Monica. He knows they would never grow old physically, but the metaphorical implications of sharing eternity with her leave him breathless.

Sighing, he checks the time once again. At least it's time for his next assignment, and for a little while, he might be able to keep his mind off of Monica, and away from the future he dreams of, but can never have.

***

Monica sits alone in a small café, sipping a coffee without really tasting it. Even her beloved drink can't raise her spirits, but she continues drinking anyway in an effort to occupy her hands. It does nothing to occupy her mind, however, which drifts to the past week.

She had completed her assignment, though she's not sure how she did it. She feels a little guilty, because she knows that Tess ended up having to pick up more of the slack than usual as Monica was so distracted, though she graciously never pointed that out. It had been such a difficult case- a young couple with a newborn child letting stress and financial troubles prevent them from seeing the gifts the Lord had given them. Constantly, Monica had to bite her tongue, wanting to scream at the couple how ungrateful they were being, not to take advantage of the life they had, the gifts they had the opportunity to experience. She didn't understand how someone could let even a second go by without thanking God for the blessing of a spouse and a family.

But she had restrained herself, and with Tess's help was able to make her assignments refocus their priorities. But where Monica had hoped that forcing herself back to work would distract her from thoughts of Andrew, it had only intensified those feelings.

Though she tried not to get her hopes up, Monica had half expected to see Andrew before the end of the case. She hasn't heard from him in over a week, and this pains her more than anything.

Tess had said he'd had to leave on an assignment, and though she'd felt crushed, she was able to talk herself down, reminding herself that he did at times get called to work elsewhere. But as the days went by, she grew more and more distressed. Even if this assignment didn't require an Angel of Death, Andrew had acted more and more as a caseworker over the past few years, working with she and Tess outside of the usual realm of an Angel of Death. So why wasn't he here now? He was never assigned away from them for that long- unless he had requested it? Monica has no way of knowing, but she can't shake the feeling, and the implications of that possibility terrify her.

***

Unseen by Monica, Tess sits at a neighboring table, watching her contemplate her coffee mug.

She had been unusually lenient this past week, understanding that Monica was still struggling with recent events and would need some time to adjust. She was surprised that Monica had so adamantly insisted on returning to work this soon. She knew her charge was struggling and that more had happened to her than she let on, but she didn't want to push. She wasn't sure exactly what had happened that day in the desert, only that Monica had met the Devil, who had tapped into her deepest desires and used them against her poor Angel Baby, guiding her to the edge of a literal cliff between good and evil.

But her Angel Girl had resisted temptation, finding strength in herself and in God. But what exactly the Devil had offered her she did not know, and Monica was not ready to share. For that matter, Monica also would not tell her what had happened between her and Andrew.

But one thing Tess did know- Monica may have walked away from that cliff, but she hadn't left the cliff behind.