Muck

or Jareth & Sarah's Smelly Little Problem

A Collaboration Between

Marti Owlsten

&

Danika Lareyna

Chapter Four

A Sticky Situation

It is interesting how certain things, like colors, can do things, like trigger a memory, or, say, clear your head and bring you to your senses. Red, at times, is one such color.

As hundreds of glowing red eyes pressed closer and closer around Sarah, to the point where she could no longer see Jareth, nor could she see much else (reminding her vaguely of gridlocked traffic at rush hour), the sweet happy feelings of not even five minutes previous came to a crashing halt, quickly being replaced with fear.

"Let me go!" she screamed, trying to fight the hands that pushed and prodded her. "Let me go! Jareth! Help!"

A ripple of maniacal laughter rang out among the munchkins as they lifted Sarah, her hands now bound in what looked like licorice rope (but was much stronger, and kind of rough on her wrists), over their heads as though she were crowd surfing, but, of course, she was not. If this was what crowd surfing was like, Sarah was positive that she would not make a good rock star, as she did not like it in the least.

Jareth was now beside her, still snoring with a ridiculous cookie-induced smile on his face. She tried to call out his name again, but it didn't faze him in the least. He snorted, muttered something about chocolate chips, and began to drool out of the side of his mouth in a most undignified way.

"Get your grimy, sugar coated hands off me!" she screamed again, trying her hardest to kick at the tiny attackers. It did not help the situation.

A small, red eyed face, with long, blonde, bouncy pigtails, came into her vision. "And here we thought you'd be the easy one! Ha! Can't have you making such a fuss! Toodles!"

The last thing Sarah saw before she blacked out, was a menacing blonde munchkin with red eyes raising a very thick candy-cane over its head, aiming right for her.

xXx

There were two things that Jareth noticed when the world came back into focus. The first was that he was incredibly dizzy, and the second was that he never wanted to eat another cookie in his life.

Well, at least not a chocolate chip cookie. No, that was for sure. He'd NEVER eat one ever again.

But… why? That's when things came into clearer focus. He blinked and looked around. Oh, perhaps that's why he was dizzy… he was bound in licorice and dangling over… something. His vision was still blurry, so it was difficult to tell.

"Sarah?" he asked, trying to look around. What was that smell? It was… it was… sickeningly sweet.

A groan met his ears, coming from behind him. He turned his head, trying to look for the source of the noise. All the Goblin King could see was brown hair littered with candy canes and other various forms or sticky candy. Minus the candy, he knew that hair anywhere. "Sarah!"

"Huh? Oh, my head…"

Jareth blinked again, wrinkling his nose from the horridly sweet smell (not that he minded sweet, but… even he had his limits), and began to piece together where they were.

As his vision cleared, and Sarah's moaning ceased from behind him, he could see that they were in a large room filled with bright, cheery colors… unfortunately, they weren't happy colors. They clashed and, cheery though they may be, they were unpleasant to look at when compiled so carelessly. Closer inspection revealed these to be boxes stacked up, one upon the other, varying in shapes and sizes. There were also large vats of bubbling substances all around them, each one emitting a different scent. There were munchkins all over, as well, carrying baskets of nuts, cream drops, cherries, and other, normally lovely, things to eat.

He groaned. Of all the places they could be… a candy factory, much like Willy Wonka's (though not nearly close enough to cause copyright infringement or cause any lawyers to worry in the least).

"Holy crap!" Sarah gasped when she'd finally come to and surveyed her surroundings. "It's like… it's like… rainbow vomit!"

Jareth wrinkled his nose in distaste at the crudeness of the girl's comment, and yet… he found he could not disagree with her.

"Jareth, where are we?" she asked.

Over his shoulder and in hushed tones, he replied, "A candy factory. Those horrid colors are boxes of candied items…"

"How many different sized boxes do they need?" she asked, mildly curious.

"That depends on what they are candying."

Sarah swallowed hard enough that Jareth could hear her do so. "What do you mean?"

"Look down, Sarah."

"I don't think I want to."

"You have to some time. Look down."

"What the heck is that?"

Jareth sighed, about to lean his head back against Sarah's, but changed his mind, quickly, when he remembered all the candy that was stuck in hers. "That would be molasses."

"What!"

He hushed her, quickly. "Quiet! They have not noticed we are awake, yet."

He felt her turn his way, "Okay, we're tied up and hanging over a bubbling pot of molasses? What are they going to do to us?"

He shrugged. "Well, I would assume they plan to dip us in the molasses and roll us in powdered sugar and place us each in a box… that is, unless we can figure out a way to get down from here and out of this factory."

"I don't want to die!" she moaned, "And if I do die, I don't want it to be by… by… candification! And," she moaned again, "If it has to be by candification, couldn't it at least be by chocolate?"

The Goblin King snorted, "Sarah, can we cease such talk of candification, and try to think of a way out of this?"

"You got any bright ideas?"

"Why do you think I was asking you?"

Sarah kicked behind her, hitting Jareth in the back of his calf. He grunted and Sarah smiled, feeling a little pleased with herself. Oh, sure, kicking the Goblin King didn't do anything to help her present situation, but it made her feel a little better. Not much, but a little.

Jareth ignored her tantrum (he would find a way to retaliate later, when they weren't going to drown in sugar) and began looking around.

"Sarah," he asked, suddenly, "Can you do the splits?"

"Excuse me? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just answer the question!"

"Almost!" she said, harshly, "Okay, are you happy? I can almost do the splits. I'm not that great in gymnastics, never was. I can do cartwheels and… what am I saying, you don't need to know that. I can almost do splits, why do you need to know?"

Jareth nodded, conjuring a crystal in his hands, "Just hang on to your licorice…"

xXx

Jareth had been able to conjure a crystal that allowed him to cut Sarah's ropes. But, in an effort to get out of the factory without drawing unwanted attention from the munchkins (who, eerily enough, sang morbid songs about candied bones and sugared heads while they worked) he had to lower her first.

Sarah had been more than miffed when he'd asked about her doing the splits. What business what that of his, anyhow? But, she found out soon enough, there was a method to his madness. She had to be dropped rather quickly, and had to hold onto the licorice rope tightly, as Jareth, still bound himself and hanging from a kind of hook over the molasses pot, dropped her down.

She'd nearly squeaked, wondering if this was his way of getting his revenge on her or something like that, and he'd not keep his word, and not stop the rope just at the last, keeping her inches above the pot. But, he had sworn he would not let the rope slip from his grasp, and his word was as solid as his grip.

With Mission Impossible ease and skill, Jareth dropped Sarah to be inches above the pot… but, of course, this drop was not exactly like the one Tom Cruise did on Mission Impossible. Sarah was not in a harness, and was sweating, but it didn't matter if her sweat dropped into the molasses or not. She had to do the splits with her legs to not only keep them out of the bubbling hot molasses, but also to reach the edge of the pot and slide herself over, and lower herself to the ground.

Once Sarah was safely down, Jareth loosened his own bonds and began to slither down the rope with absurd grace, as Sarah pulled it as far away from the pot as she could, in case he slipped or fell, or something equally awful.

No, she didn't care if he got burned or not. Of course not. No. She just couldn't get out of this place without him. Yes, that was it.

Together, they ran and hid behind two large boxes, painted in fluorescent pink and sour yellow.

Sarah was breathing heavily, feeling very frightened. With her back to the boxes, she took a deep breath, "Jareth… what… why…"

The Goblin King seemed to be slightly shaken, himself. He would never admit it, but he had secretly always feared the munchkins' dreaded candification processes. It had been a repressed fear, one he'd not thought about in a long time… besides, he'd heard that Janill had gone on a diet, and closed all her sugarfied factories down.

"Candy factories," he said, "Are the Maze's form of my Labyrinth's Oubliettes."

Sarah pulled a face at him, "You joking. Queen Jane,"

"Janill," he corrected. (Oh, he was bad at names, sure, but Janill's name was one that he'd never forget. It had been ground into his head, almost by force.)

"Whatever," Sarah dismissed, "Queen whatever her name is, Janill, installs factories into the holes where the 'unwanted visitors' go, and you just… leave them holes?" Sarah allowed herself a small smirk. "What, couldn't think of anything creative?"

Jareth matched her smirk, "Actually, I could have, but… I prefer them empty. Little chance for escape without help, you see, and I did add some flare to them with my Helping Hands. But," he sobered, "Janill's factories have both form and function to them. She did not randomly decide to install them."

"So, what's the deal? She got a severe sweet tooth?"

He smiled, peering around the corner of the box to make sure no munchkins were coming, "Yes, she does, but so do her munchkins. As you can see, they are vicious little buggers, and eating sugar not only gives them something to do, but it keeps them relatively happy. I rule by might, Janill rules by sweetness – literally."

Sarah frowned at him, "Wait. You know this about them, and yet you still got stuck here…?"

He gave her an impatient look, "Did you not see the little one holding the tea party? She was terribly cute, very child-like. I deal with children on a regular basis. I thought I could handle her," he huffed a sigh, "Now, keep an eye out, and let us see if we can get out of here."

Sarah really wanted to tease him some more about being fooled by a munchkin, or about being stupid for falling into the trap, or something, but… that could wait until they were out of the factory.

"How do we get out of here?" she asked, not seeing a way out.

Jareth pursed his lips, "Unless Janill has changed things, there are two ways out. One, is in a box, as a treat."

Sarah frowned, "Um, what's option two?"

He smiled, "Well, then there should be a door, just as there are in my Oubliettes. We simply need to find it."

Sarah nodded. That didn't seem too hard, right? If the munchkins could get in and out, then, reasonably, so could they… not that anything here seemed reasonable…

Two munchkins came around the corner, then. Jareth threw out an arm and shoved Sarah back against the boxes. For the moment, they were safe… so long as the munchkins did not turn around.

They were gibbering on about the latest batch of chocolate, when one stopped and sniffed the air. Jareth winced. This could not be good.

"Hey," it said to the other one, "Are we doing peppermint, today?"

The second one shook its head. "No… we did that two weeks ago. I think. Why?"

Jareth turned a sharp eye to the candy still stuck in Sarah's hair. He saw it just as Sarah saw the two munchkins turn and spot them.

Thinking quickly, Jareth threw a crystal at the munchkins. It exploded in a spray of salt, making them cringe and run in the other direction.

"Come," he said quickly. "That will not keep them back for long. Hurry, we must find the door!"

xXx

Sarah decided, rather quickly, that it would be a very long time before she willingly ate sugar. The horrors of the small candy factory were more than enough to keep anyone from ever wanting anything sweet ever again. As it was, the smell in the air, while making her somewhat giddy, was giving her a headache.

Jareth wasn't doing much better, and his mood was becoming increasingly worse. The air-born sugar was adhering to his cloak and the bottom of his boots – one of his most comfortable pairs – were quickly coating themselves in grit.

And, not helping their situation, the munchkins now knew they were there.

Sarah was at her breaking point. The sugar was too much. "Jaareth," she said, her voice becoming somewhat shaky with an oncoming sugar-high, "Where is the door? We need out."

A horde of munchkins came around the corner, wielding very large pixie sticks. "There they are!"

Jareth swore. Unfortunately, he still hadn't spotted the door. He threw another crystal of salt, but that was already more magic than he'd dare use in Janill's realm, and it wouldn't hold them long.

Sarah, now feeling rather loopy on sugar, looked around, doing her best to think. It wasn't easy. Hoggle, in the Labyrinth – the wonderfully sugar-free Labyrinth – had put a piece of wood on the wall, and it had become the door.

To her left, there were large… what were they? She wasn't exactly sure… normally, she would say they were chocolate bars, but something about them was frightening. They were just flatly too big to be chocolate bars, and considering that she and Jareth had almost become powdered sugar lumps, she did not want to know what they were made of.

But, they were large and rectangular, and would work for a door.

"Jareth," she squealed, "I'll make a door!"

"Are you mad?"

"Shut up, no time to argue. Get me something for a knob!"

The salt was settling. They had to hurry. Sarah threw the bar against the wall of the factory just as Jareth had retrieved a strangely shaped gum drop for a knob.

It stuck instantly to the makeshift door. The horde was now running towards them…

Jareth turned the knob and it clicked. He threw the door open and Sarah pushed him through before shutting it behind her.

They were now… well, somewhere else. It appeared to be a very flowery garden with lots of bushes cut in various shapes, but that didn't matter. Sarah was just glad that she couldn't smell sugar anymore. She turned around, ready to do something to block the door they had made… but it was gone. Heaving a sigh, she turned her attention to her hair, and the gunk trapped in it.

Jareth pulled a face. "You might want to consider getting a hair cut."

There were lollipops, tootsie rolls, peppermint sticks, and something that she hoped was taffy, all tangled in her long tresses. The urge to scream that it wasn't fair was nearly overpowering. Were it not for the fact that the Goblin King was smirking at her, she surely would have said it aloud.

The more she tried to remove it, the stickier the substances became. She pulled and made a great fuss. The lollipops came out well enough as did most of the rest, but the taffy crud was trouble. The residual sugar-high did not help matters, either.

At last, near sobs, she looked up at Jareth, wordlessly. He gave her an almost-kind smile… almost. "Would you like some assistance?" he asked, smiling.

Sarah snorted and crossed her arms. "Assistance? Not particularly, but if you're offering, I'd take it just the same… I'm all jittery from the sugar, and can't keep my fingers straight…"

Jareth turned her around and began assessing her hair. As he did so, Sarah folded her arms and sulked, still shaking. "What I'd like," she grumbled, "Is a carrot."

xXx

Author's note –

Whoa, long time no… erm… read, huh? Well, after an exciting November of novel writing, Danika and I are back! Yeehaw! (And now it's Danika's turn! Hee!)

In my defense, I always found the story of Hansel and Gretel to be HIGHLY disturbing.

Another disclaimer: We still do not own Willy Wonka, the Wizard of Oz, or anything Labyrinth, and for this chapter, we also don't own Mission Impossible or Tom Cruise. We're just insane. Pity us, and send us reviews.

Much love,

Marti