Let's Party!
Q finished showering and dressing in record time but even like that, by the time he emerged from his office, looking considerably fresher and happier than before, the party was already in full swing, Q-Branch having been miraculously converted into a ballroom, complete with 'Happy birthday, Q' signs and balloons with a big '17' on them. The tables have all been rearranged to stand by the walls, bearing instead of computers and official looking papers all kinds of sandwiches, drinks (even alcoholic beverages at which the teenager gaped in surprise – was it not forbidden to bring anything to do with alcohol into HQ?) and every imaginable kind of confectionery. ('Mycroft must feel in Heaven' – Thought the birthday boy.)
Music was playing softly in the background and the general atmosphere was relaxed, happy.
All the minions seemed to have recovered from their initial fright and were now, cups of punch in hand, contently talking and joking among each other in a corner. They were still avoiding any kind of contact with the two older Holmes brothers (and that included eye-contact which in turn made them sometimes walk into people out of fear of looking up and meeting Mycroft or Sherlock's eyes) but otherwise they didn't look bothered anymore. Sure, alcohol might have had a role in their relaxed attitude but if so, Q wasn't about to complain – as long as they would be fit for work the next day for their respective shifts of course.
The Double-Os consumed the alcohol as if it were apple juice which surprised no one, and Q wondered how long it would be until one (or more) of them stood up on top of one of the tables and started to sing. Everyone knew they had an unearthly level of tolerance but still… it couldn't be endless, right? The boy wondered what M had been thinking when he had allowed these drinks to be brought into MI6. His next thought was: had the leader even had a say in it? Somehow he seemed to have lost his ability to influence the flow of things that day…
Madeleine had turned up in the meantime as well, and she was now sitting at the far end of the room with Moneypenny and R, presumably gossiping about some female thing or another. The boy honestly didn't want to know the exact topic of their conversation; it was enough for him to see that they were having a good time. No man ever wanted to be part of girly chit-chat after all.
Tanner, M and – surprise, surprise – Bond were talking to his brothers in hushed voices. Now, that was even more worrying than the amount of alcohol being consumed… Especially the cold, calculating looks both his brothers were giving Bond. It looked dangerous, as if they were planning something. God, this couldn't end well, could it? Q approached them cautiously, wanting to make sure they weren't talking about anything that had to do with him. And that his brothers didn't want to kill 007. His Double-O status wouldn't be a problem for the two older Holmes if they really decided to get rid of him for some reason or another.
"Hi, guys, I just wanted to say a big 'thank you'; it's incredible, really." – And he meant it more than what words could express.
"You're very much welcome, son. Come on, eat and drink something: you deserve it!" – Said Tanner and steered the boy towards to food, away from his not-so-subtly conspiring brothers and their (still oblivious) would-be victim.
"Oh, does it mean I'm allowed to drink alcohol?" – Asked the teenager eagerly.
A resounding 'No' was the answer; the first big understanding between his ever overprotective big brothers and his equally protective MI6 friends. Q just rolled his eyes and went to look for some lemonade. (He could see right away that, sadly, there was no Earl Grey…)
"You're only 17, Benedict, and no, I don't care about emancipation, so don't even bother arguing with me about it." – Warned Mycroft, taking yet another pastry.
"Besides, someone ought to stay sober, 'cause I'm afraid there will be a few people here needing assistance finding their way home tonight." – Sherlock said, nodding towards where the agents had started a game of darts but – being England's finest bio-weapons and all – couldn't even meet the board most of the time with all the swaying they were doing.
"Oh, dear, the party only started half an hour ago." – Lamented M and hurried to put an end to their antics, declaring that it was too dangerous to leave them to their own devices in this state.
Well, it turned out they could get drunk very quickly but also sobered just as speedily. By the time the huge birthday cake arrived (brought in by Bond and Alec in relatively smooth cooperation if you didn't count Alec's 'You stepped on my foot, moron' and James' groaned 'That's because you're unable to walk a straight line, you Bigfoot'), every one of them was again fully alert, ready to attack the dessert with gusto. Q was forced to wear a badge with a big '17' on it, and a 'happy birthday' shako. Of course, suddenly everyone seemed to remember to fish out their cells from various hiding places to 'check an e-mail' or 'see if they had any missed calls' – in reality snapping picture after picture of the blushing boy. Q had already made plans for destroying the security cameras' footage, now he would also have to think about something to do about the phones…
They also sang the 'Happy birthday to you'-song for Q, which made the boy tear up for more reasons and only one of them was the fact that none, except for Moneypenny, seemed to be able to carry a tune.
Madeleine declared in a tone that left place for no argument, that the birthday boy should cut the cake, so Q got an enormous knife he was sure he wouldn't even be able to lift but somehow managed to move in the end, and he started to hand out the slices on colorful paper plates (those also bore big 17s and a 'happy birthday' script on them). There was enough to feed a small army, so he wasn't afraid someone wouldn't get their share. He wasn't sure but he thought Alec might have queued three or four times by the time everyone was nibbling away happily and Mycroft was eying the remaining cake as if he had wanted to attack it.
Q was sitting between Bond and a non-so-discreetly deducing Sherlock, trying to ignore the latter as he was concentrating on chewing the admittedly heavenly cake.
"So, you're really the Quartermaster, aren't you?" – So much for ignoring…
The boy sighed.
"Yes. I didn't want you to know that though."
"And why not?" – Joined Mycroft into the conversation, rolling over to them with the chair he was occupying. It was actually quite a sight, seeing Mycroft sitting on a plain swivel chair instead of his usual rich and elegant armchair, rolling around with it like a playful and naughty child. – "I, with my minor position in the Government, could help you with anything."
"Well, that's exactly why, Myc. I don't want any help; I think I can arrange it all." – Explained Q patiently just as 007 exclaimed in an unbelieving tone.
"A minor position!? Mr. Holmes, you are particularly the British Government personally. Everyone knows that!"
"Benedict, I can see that your friend is prone to melodramatics and the others seem totally crazy, too. It looks like you're perfectly suited here."
The boy knew that was the most approval he would ever get and felt immensely grateful for it, even if it had been worded as an insult. It was Mycroft after all. He turned to Sherlock, particularly pleading with his eyes. His middle brother, being the detective (even if only a consulting one) saw through him right away. He carefully placed his now empty plate behind him onto the desk, slowly arranged his suit and only then looked up to his baby brother to answer his unvoiced question.
"I guess this place might eventually turn out to be… adequate for you to work in."
The now seventeen-year-old teenager yelped half surprised, half happily and hugged both his brothers out of a sudden burst of affection towards them. And while the two older Holmes looked totally taken aback and even mildly uncomfortable at that open display of emotions, Mycroft hugged back briefly and Sherlock patted his shoulder awkwardly, looking less disgusted with their small family bonding than even he himself would have expected.
Q released them and declared in a strangely chocked voice:
"Not that I require your permission of course. I can do whatever I want to do."
"Of course, brother dear, of course." – Shrugged Mycroft and took a scone.
Sherlock decided to humor him this once as well, and went to fetch a glass of wine.
Madeleine came to sit on the lap of Bond.
"You know, Q, your family is very-"
"I know: they are eccentric, lunatic, psychopathic, sociopathic…"
"Actually, the expressions I was looking for are more like 'caring', 'protective' and 'loving'."
"Oh. Well, that too I guess…"
Bond shook his head but whether it was to get rid of Dr. Swann's hair in his face or because of the boy's ignorant attitude, remained undecided.
"I really don't understand why you didn't want us to know about them."
"They're not usually that… manageable, you know."
"Whatever. I think I like them."
"Yeah, I guess you would. They haven't kidnapped you after all. Yet."
James looked confused.
'Oh, you'll soon understand.' – Thought Q to himself, having figured out his brother's earlier interest that they had shown towards the agent. He knew he could stop their plan even before anything would happen but it might be more interesting to just let things play out and watch from afar for now.
Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q
As the evening progressed and the Holmes brothers actually talked to MI6 people (especially one James Bond), it turned out during a conversation that Bond knew John Watson from their military training days and given that they used to be friends, even asked Sherlock to arrange a meeting for the two of them soon.
Neither of the two younger Holmes brothers was keen on the idea of having more connection between these two, completely different worlds, but knowing that it would be impossible to stop 007 now anyway, Sherlock sent John an SMS, inviting him to meet them in front of Headquarters in half an hour.
Mycroft informed M about their new guest arriving and getting him the necessary clearance to enter HQ.
"But, Mister Holmes, I don't even know who this man is…" – Mycroft raised an eyebrow that said 'isn't it enough that I know?' more clearly than any words could have and that had Mallory falter in his protest. – "Ahm… Yes, Mister Holmes, of course." – Poor M had already resigned himself to the fact that this time he actually didn't have any say in matters like that at all. Mycroft Holmes bloody outranked even him, regardless of him officially not having any influence over MI6. He had an influence over the world.
Q shook his head at Sherlock's rash antics.
"You didn't even ask if it was a good time for him." – Observed the boy. – "What if he's busy elsewhere and not ready to jump at your request right away?"
Sherlock just looked confused.
"How could he be busy? I'm not there."
Bond blinked surprised, Q rolled his eyes and Mycroft made a 'don't mind him, he's not completely sane' gesture with his hands.
But sure enough, a disheveled-looking John arrived exactly 29 minutes later, just as the small welcoming committee (Mycroft, Sherlock, Q and Bond) exited the building to meet the new guest to give him his visitor's badge ('access anywhere') and to accompany him inside.
"Sherlock, what is it? Where have you been? I was worried, you said you'd be home at around 6 and now it's nearly half past nine and you suddenly demand my presence in Vauxhall without any explanation. Is there a problem?"
"Don't be ridiculous, I just wanted you to meet someone. Actually, no, I didn't want you to meet him but he wanted to meet you… Anyway: John, this is-"
"James Bond!?" – John's eyes widened then he broke out in a grin as the two men embraced. – "Oh, Jesus, it's been years and years! How are you, old man?"
"- James Bond, right. That's what I was about to say."
But the two men completely ignored Sherlock.
"Oh, I'm fine, keeping in shape and all, you know." – 007 winked charmingly.
"Wow, you work here? An agent of MI6? I didn't understand why Sherlock wanted to come with Mycroft today."
"It wasn't because of me; I'm just an added bonus. It was because of him there." – Bond explained, pointing at the boy who had been until now half hidden behind his brothers. – "Did you know there were more of them?"
Now John looked positively panicky.
"More? You mean, there's a fourth one?"
"Ahm… no… at least I don't think so… Q?"
"Only the three of us, guys, don't worry."
"Thank God! Ahm… Happy birthday, Benedict. Sherlock told me it was today."
"Thank you, John."
"So, what are you doing here? Did you come with these two?" – He asked, pointing at the two older Holmes men.
"No. I work here too. I didn't even know they were coming."
"What? You work here?"
"Ah, John, don't be slow, I've told you a hundred times he is a genius and has a hush-hush Government job. Well, not so hush-hush anymore, I guess, is it, Benedict?"
"Oh, do shut up."
Sherlock ignored him.
"He's the Quartermaster."
"Quart- Like by the pirates?"
Bond proceeded to explain everything to the confused man while the three brothers slowed down to let them pass. They didn't feel the need to be included in their conversation.
"Oh, good Lord, now they're going to be catching up, and ignore all of us for the remaining of the party." – Observed an amused Q.
"It's impossible. John doesn't ignore me."
"Well, he hasn't seen his good friend for years, Sher."
"He doesn't have friends. He only has me. He doesn't have the time."
Mycroft gave Sherlock a pitying look and Q smirked at him while the middle Holmes brother pouted all the way back to the party.
Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q
John and James were sitting beside each other; Bond drinking a vodka and John eating a sandwich and a slice of cake. (Neither of them was bothered by the condemning looks Sherlock kept throwing them from across the room the whole time.)
The newcomer then asked.
"So, is your Holmes a megalomaniac psychopath or an unbearable sociopath who makes everyone around him cry in frustration? I don't really know him that much to tell you the truth. He seemed friendly enough the few times we met, but also a bit eccentric and dangerous. And, well… he's a Holmes even if they say he's the normal one of the lot. That really doesn't say much with those brothers…"
Bond pondered a bit before answering.
"Well, Q's a boffin. He can do things with a computer you would never have dreamed about. He is also very committed to his goal, which is to keep his agents safe. And he mothers his minions even though the youngest of them is more than 1,5x his age." – Seeing his old friend's questioning look, he added. – "The 'minions' are his employees in Q-Branch. He is the leader – Supreme Overlord – of that department and therefore responsible of hiring, training and in his opinion caring for them. It's like a family of geeks down here… Spooky."
"Wow. Sounds nothing like either of the older ones. They wouldn't really care for anyone aside from each other, and would rather die than say even that out loud. They want to make us think they're nonchalant about the whole world."
"Well, he didn't live with them for long. He must have had a reason to flee and seek refuge here at the tender age of 12."
"I don't really know much about it. Sherlock wouldn't talk about their childhood or even tell me how their parents died. But I suspect it must have been tragic."
Bond frowned at that.
"Why do you think that?"
"Well, for one, both died at the same time and relatively young though I guess they had Benedict pretty late, so they probably weren't that very young... Still that makes me come to the conclusion that there was an accident of some sort."
"Dear… I've never really thought about it. Q doesn't talk about it at all."
"It must have been horrible for the three of them. And Benedict was a little child, two years old I think. No wonder Mycroft felt responsible and wanted to protect him. Though from what I could gather, he overdid it quite a bit…"
"So that could have been the boy's reason to leave as soon as he could… It's funny that you call him Benedict, I hadn't heard that name until a few hours ago. I just can't associate it with him…" – Mused Bond and made a mental note to research into that direction a bit soon. Q was just so full of secrets but maybe now, with these new findings he'd have a chance of learning something. – "But please, tell me: what do you do? Where do you live? What is your connection with those madmen and how do you know so much about them?"
"Oh, if only you knew… You see, it was like that: the day I met them first, Sherlock told me where I was going to live, got me into an investigation where I had to shoot someone and Mycroft kidnapped me to offer money for spying on Sherlock… It was a mess, really, I still don't understand why I didn't run screaming the other way."
"Probably because – if I remember correctly – you were always a bit addicted to danger even in our younger years."
"Just like you. Not everyone – certainly not a sane person – would want to work for MI6…"
"Yeah, just like me."
And so they told each other everything that had happened to them over the last few years.
Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q – Q
"Time for presents!" – Announced Moneypenny not long after 10 PM with slightly more enthusiasm than you would expect from a mere guest of a party.
Without waiting for the others to move or do anything, she produced a small, neatly packed box seemingly out of nowhere and handed it to the boy.
Q took it with a blush.
"I really didn't expect a present. Thank you, Eve!" – He carefully unwrapped the box, taking his time so he wouldn't tear the packaging. Inside he found… - "A small, blue duffel coat, a little red explorer hat and an equally tiny briefcase?" – He asked confusedly.
"It's for Paddington! He'll need these items! Come on, dress him properly, he can't travel naked after all, he'd freeze to death! You don't want a sick, grumpy bear, do you?"
(Sherlock exclaimed "A bear!? The one you brought to us once?" and Mycroft raised an eyebrow, but everyone ignored them.)
"Travel?" – Asked Q now feeling like he was missing something, especially seeing the know-it-all smiles on all his friends' faces around him. Moneypenny handed him the stuffed bear (he didn't want to know when and how she had gotten it from his office) and helped him dress it properly. He had to admit, it really looked very cute in the clothes that fit it perfectly. It was now really dressed for travel.) – "Where is Paddington traveling?" – He asked, trying to make sense of things. It seemed quite eccentric to be talking about a toy bear as if it were alive…
"Why, he's traveling to Paris of course!" – Said Tanner, unable to contain himself anymore. – "Along with you and me. You wouldn't want to leave him here alone, would you?"
"What?" – The teenager didn't understand anything. – "Am I going on a field assignment again?"
Everyone blinked, while M hurried to reassure the boy.
"No, no, my boy, it's not a mission, it's vacation."
"Vacation…?" – Repeated Q slowly like a word of a foreign language. He looked around to see if someone would crack and laugh at him.
"Yes, you know, Q: a time when you just relax and enjoy yourself." – Teased Alec.
"You mean… What do you mean?"
"We mean Q that you and me will travel next Tuesday to Paris. And don't worry, you won't have to get near a plane: we'll take the early morning Eurostar. We'll spend eight days there and will travel home also with the Eurostar on the 25th. And while we're there we will visit everything you'd like to see, walk around the city and we'll just generally have a good time. No work at all." – Tanner explained patiently, as if talking to a small child about things it hadn't had any experience with and therefore had trouble understanding.
"And we're not going to work? But what about missions?"
"The agents are all scheduled for training here in Headquarters for that time. No missions planned." – Informed him M.
"Oh!" – Exclaimed the boy. – "Then I'm really glad I'm not going to be here to have to listen to all of them complaining about boredom at the same time."
Moneypenny visibly paled.
"I haven't thought about it… Sir, may I ask for a few days off, too? I could accompany Bill and Q to Paris to keep them safe…"
"Don't even think about it, Miss Moneypenny. You are going to be the one overseeing the trainings."
Moneypenny groaned good-naturally while the Double-Os winked at her with evil smiles that promised not much good for her.
The meaning of the gift slowly started to sink in.
"So, we're really going to travel to Paris for a vacation?" – He asked again, just to make sure he had understood right. – "Like really really?"
Tanner tousled his hair affectionately.
"Yes, really really. I hope you're excited!?"
"You can bet! I've never been there!" – Everyone laughed at his enthusiasm, and even Mycroft and Sherlock looked… well… not totally disgusted with the idea. That was something.
The smile on the boy's face as he looked at the fully dressed bear (he refrained from hugging it in front of all the people… he was seventeen after all) made everyone happy about their choice of present.
"You're really going to travel with a teddy?" – Teased Sherlock.
"You're just jealous because you only have a dull skull that can't even smile."
"I'll have you know, my skull is-"
"Khm…" – Began Mycroft. – "When we were so nicely invited to stay for this party, I arranged for Anthea to bring here your presents. They should be in your office by now. Not much of a security I might add and also you're not very observant. She sneaked them in without you noticing it even though you were only a few steps away from your office the whole time."
"You have presents for me?" – Asked the boy in disbelief, ignoring everything else that had been said, then dashed into his private office without waiting for an answer to check for himself instead. The others were still only halfway there when they could already hear him shouting. – "Oh my God! Oh my GOD!"
The scene that they found upon entering the boy's office just called for a camera – so naturally, everyone quickly found their cell phones and feverously started snapping pictures again. The minions – knowing their boss very well – instantly uploaded them to at least three different (of course locked) websites and other devices so that it would be impossible for the boy to hack and delete all of them later.
Q was lying on the floor, conquered by none other than two small kittens that were now sitting on his chest, licking his face and purring contently. One was a white Bengal cat with startlingly huge blue eyes, and the other was calico that looked like it had accidentally smeared various color paints (light brown, black and white) on itself, totally randomly. Both were very-very cute.
"We couldn't decide between these two." – Explained Sherlock simply. – "Both seemed to want to come with us anyway. Try to get rid of such insistent beasts…"
"We even tried to make a draw but then thought that maybe two of them would be able to play with each other better while you work. They're both female by the way." – Continued Mycroft feeling a bit uncomfortable. Who would have thought he'd be shy?
The teenager tried to imagine his brothers shopping for kittens. It was not easy to picture: Mycroft hated legwork and Sherlock hated animals. Both hated shopping in general. Had they really done that for him anyway?
"I LOVE both of them!" – Announced Q, feeling very touched.
"They're adorable!" – Giggled Moneypenny, joining Q on the floor to pet the kittens. They, naturally, instantly took a liking to her, not unlike any living creatures, really. – "What are you going to call them?"
"Hm… I think… this one (he pointed at the calico cat) is going to be called Confetti. And she (he pointed at the white kitten) will be Pixel." – Everyone laughed at that. The kittens seemed already content with their names if their purring was anything to go by. – "But who will look after them while I'll be in Paris? I shouldn't leave them alone that soon…"
"Don't worry, they have here everything they need; we have made sure of that." – Explained Mycroft, referring to all the cats' essentials scattered around the office that Q hadn't noticed before. – "Cat beds, carriers, litter, food, toys… Everything. It took Anthea two turns to carry everything inside. And you didn't even notice it… Your observation skills leave something to be desired, my dear little brother."
Q rolled his eyes.
"Anyway, they will be all right here for a week."
M sighed but didn't offer objections against MI6 Headquarters obviously becoming the home of two playful kittens from that moment on. Not that anyone would care about his opinion anyway, he was just the leader of MI6 after all… Their boss.
"And we'll all keep an eye on them. They can also come home to me if they get bored here." – Continued Eve.
"They'll be taken care of, don't worry, Overlord." – Promised R, crouching down and cooing to the little ones in awe.
Seeing that Eve, R and Q were totally engrossed in playing with the two cats, the others left them to it and went back to eat the few crumbs that were still left before the guest slowly said their goodbyes and one by one left to go home to sleep for a little while before they had to come back the next day for work.
Epilogue
Q loved his two kittens dearly. He still had trouble imagining his brothers trying to pick them out of hundreds of small cats in the animal shelter. He was actually quite sure it had resulted in more than one row between the two Holmes men. It made him even more touched about it. Also, he was very glad that in the end they had decided to just simply get him both.
The now seventeen-year-old teenager thought he had a pretty good idea which of his brothers had selected which cat:
The white Bengal kitten, Pixel, just shouted Mycroft: pure and royal. She was the calmer of the two and somehow just had the air of authority around her. She meowed seldom but when she did, she was always loud and clear – impossible to ignore. She liked her comfortable cat bed and demanded to be fed richly with the best quality food that was on the market.
The calico, Confetti, must have been Sherlock's choice: she was more energetic, she ran up and down the office like a whirlwind and most of the time could hardly be bothered to even stop to eat. She could move so fast and noiseless that Q sometimes nearly got a heart-attack when she just jumped at him from seemingly out of thin air. She refused to use her own cat bed, preferring to sleep at the end of Q's, or sometimes even on the top of the boy's head. She meowed a lot and was restless if she didn't have enough space to move. She constantly needed new toys because she destroyed everything she got in just a few days. Her nails and teeth were legendary in Q-Branch: his minions had even developed a method of utilizing them for gadget tests. Yes, definitely Sherlock.
Q always felt like having the best side of both his brothers with him when the kittens were near, without having to put up with their most annoying quality: namely the ability to speak.
He hoped they'd be with him for a very-very long time to come.
