Chapter 4: Decisions

He looked very sternly at me. Digging deep into my eyes. I stared back at him. My eyes grew tired at his black eyes and concentrated at my feet.

"I am a- a-" And he stopped. He murmured something under his breath, too low for me to here. "Please. I promise you'll figure it out later. You're smart, I can tell."

I was dazzled by his compliment but got back to business.

"No!" It was a very high pitched sound, for me, " Jacob, you said you would tell me here, so tell me!" I whined. Jacob stuttered, examining the next few words he was going to put out there for me to investigate. He was struggling.

I spoke "Let me help you: You are a…"

"I am a creature that…" He blurted out. I'm pretty sure he was getting somewhere, so I got excited: nosy.

"That?" I pushed him on.

"That you would simply be terrified, horrified, and disgusted by!"

"I find that hard to believe." I said flattering him, and for once I don't think he got the message.

"Bella, you are lucky I can control myself with you. But what if something else happens?"

"Jacob. I trust you. No matter what happens to me. You are my best friend!"

"Best friend?" He asked. I was astonished. I really said that? Out loud?

"Well… So we aren't best friends?" I said trying to find a way out of it.

"No, no, no." He smiled, "I like being best friends." I got right back on the subject, though feeling bad. He was so happy being best friends.

"What do you mean 'something happens'" His lips were locked together when I finished.

"Just in case…" He had said.

"In case of what?!"

"Just don't do that to me Bella."

"What do I do to you?"

"You know what! Pressuring me to tell you the most horrible secret ever. I'm not even supposed to tell you. Or even anyone else… No matter how easy it may seem to you, it is not what you seem. None of your secrets could ever add up to what I might tell you." A great depression of silence filled the air.

"My god Jacob! Tell me or don't!"

He was about to yell at me but he stopped. "What?"

I repeated myself calmly, "Tell me or don't."

"I thought you wanted to know."

"I do! But if that's how you feel, you don't have to…"

"Okay." Silence, "I made up my mind. I am a va- va-" He sighed. "I'm sure you can think of something by now." By then my brain was wracking for something obvious. But I came finally to my miserable conclusion of confuses, "I can't figure it out, tell me? Oh wait, you can't." He sighed with relief, releasing his top teeth from scraping his bottom lip.

"No, I can't" I thought and thought. Waiting for it to pop all together.

"Okay, I'm still lost."

"You'll figure it out tomorrow, trust me. Let's take you home." I had suddenly noticed how dark it was outside and I hurried along his side, pretty much pacing. Had he always walked this fast?

"Wait up!"