Chapter 4: Friends
"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, it has no survival value; Rather it is one of those things that give value to survival." C. S. Lewis
"Jenn, you got a minute?"
Jennifer smiled, thinking as always that when Major Evan Lorne strode into a room whatever else she was doing – medical emergency aside of course – fell by the wayside, leaving her with nothing but time to find out what he wanted that mere minute for. "Sure," she said, letting nothing of her internal thoughts show.
"Ah ... privately," Evan added, glancing around the infirmary with it's usual busy level of activity.
"Okay," Jennifer led the way to her small office, turning in time to see Evan close the door behind him. Her heart rate kicked up a notch at his close proximity – by no means the biggest man on Atlantis Evan still had a way of making a woman feel crowded. "Is something wrong?" she asked, suddenly concerned. Since her 'interference' had been revealed four days ago she hadn't spent a lot of time with Evan, either because she was avoiding him or he her she hadn't worked out yet.
"Sorry, no," Evan returned, picking up on her concern. "I didn't think you'd want your staff overhearing us talk about the trip."
"Oh ... right," Jennifer said reluctantly. "That."
"You know, a guy could get a complex with that kind of enthusiasm," Evan teased, eyes twinkling in that way of his.
"What? No! Sorry ... I just ...," Jennifer trailed off. Taking a steadying breath she forced a welcoming smile. "What did you want to talk about, specifically?"
"Did you put in your leave request?" Evan asked.
"Yes, days ago, and it was approved immediately," Jenn shook her head. "Mr Woolsey seemed overly pleased not to have to encourage me to take leave – his words," she added.
"Good," Evan grinned. "In case you were wondering, I've made bookings for us – hotel, flights – so you don't have to worry about any of that."
"Okay," Jennifer felt awkward all of a sudden. Should she ask where they were staying? Or would that just give her more to worry about? Evan was a gentleman – just one of the many traits she admired about him – and she was under no illusions that he'd use this as an opportunity to arrange something even remotely inappropriate. "You wish," she thought ruefully. Evan must have taken her silence for agreement because he moved on quickly.
"I need the painting Jenn," he announced intently. When she blinked, frowning, he laughed. "You know – The painting. I have to pack it and ship it out with today's mail or it won't get there by the required date."
"You do?" Jennifer blinked again, giving a weak laugh. "Right, of course you do. We do," she added, muttering under her breath "especially since this was all your insane idea Jennifer." "And you want to do that now?" she asked, meeting his eyes expectantly.
"Might as well," Evan agreed, his expression a mix of amusement at her awkwardness and something else she couldn't put a name to.
"For someone who was initially angry you seem to be finding this more amusing than it really is," she complained, opening her office door and walking back out into the infirmary.
"I did a little research - read the terms and conditions, spoke to one of the organisers," Evan commented, falling easily into step beside her as they continued out into the corridor. "I could withdraw the entry – for a pretty steep penalty fee. I thought about it," he added honestly. "But then I remembered what you said – about why you did what you did - and I decided it was worth a week of my time – and yours – to satisfy your curiosity."
"You really don't care, do you?" Jennifer turned to him as they walked into the transporter. Looking at the map, she glanced at him before pressing the location that would take them the closest to her quarters.
"It's not about caring or being indifferent," Evan tried to explain. The bright light of the transport washed over them and then the doors opened on their new location. Waving a hand for her to precede him, he continued. "I'm not a professional artist Jenn – and I'm never going to be. I just don't have that ambition."
"And you don't paint for others to admire your work," Jennifer concluded. She'd known that, had even understood that recognition wasn't a part of his make-up. But just because he didn't want to be recognised didn't mean it wouldn't be good for him.
"If you knew that, why enter the contest?" Evan asked, a little incredulous.
Swiping a hand over her door controls, Jennifer ushered him inside her quarters, closing the doors behind them. "Because there's such a thing as being too modest," she said simply. "Too unassuming. Too comfortable."
"You think I don't challenge myself enough?" Evan's brows rose in surprise, his eyes locking with hers.
"I think you're very, very good at what you do, and that part of that is not drawing attention to yourself," Jennifer replied. "You handle a lot – off world, with your team, with being Colonel Sheppard's second in command – things plenty of people would struggle with." She paused, her expression earnest. "And I think you make it all look easy because for you it is that easy."
"You know, that wasn't the most stirring compliment I've ever received," Evan smirked, teasing.
"There!" Jennifer glared at him. "You're doing it again! I tell you that you do what should be a difficult job too easily and instead of accepting the implication – that I admire your abilities – you push it aside!" Grabbing his hand she dragged him across the room until they were standing at the foot of her bed. "Look," she urged, pointing to his painting above her bed. She looked at it too, the waves and the clouds and the emotions it evoked grabbing her as they always did. "It's ... humbling."
"Ah ...," Evan glanced up at his work and then back to Jennifer. "It's just a painting Jennifer."
"To you, maybe," she sighed, her shoulders slumping in disappointment as she let go of his hand. "But to me it's more ... enough that I really don't want you to send it anywhere."
"You want to pay that defaulter penalty, cancel the trip?" Evan asked, his expression so unreadable that she had no idea what he was thinking – whether cancelling was something he wanted from her or not.
"No ... I'll miss it, but I still think entering that contest was the right thing to do," Jennifer said resolutely. "And despite what you say, I don't think it's just a painting to you either. Otherwise you wouldn't have given it to me."
Their eyes met and locked. Jennifer felt nerves kicking around inside – not the 'I did something that will make you angry' kind either. No, these were the 'you suddenly feel like a stranger and right now I have no idea what you'll do next' variety – the make you feel weak in the knees, a second from bolting kind.
She wanted to interpret the emotions swirling in the blue depths of his eyes as caring beyond mere friendship, recognition of her as a desirable woman, the need to possess what they could be together. She wanted to see all that and more, even though it would scare the crap out of her to be all that to Evan Lorne. She hadn't been dissembling when she'd talked about his talents – to her it seemed there was nothing he couldn't do, and not just do but conquer so well that he'd make it look effortless. What would such a man want with her?
Time seemed frozen ... they stood on the cusp of something undefinable.
And then he blinked, turning away as he tapped at his earpiece, listening for a moment. "I'll be there in five minutes Sir," he stated calmly, tapping his ear piece again to close the channel. "We have a group from the IOA coming in for a tour – they're a little early," he explained simply. Nodding towards the wall he continued. "So, you're okay with me taking that – packing it and shipping it off?"
"Are you okay with it?" Jennifer asked quietly.
"Sure, of course," Evan smiled easily. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Regretting the passing of a moment she was already wondering whether she'd imagined, Jennifer forced her own smile. "Right – why indeed," she murmured. Glancing back at her painting she nodded. Even getting Evan a night of open admiration for his talents was worth the absence of something she treasured. "Take it," she said firmly.
Nodding, Evan strode forward, stretching to reach the bottom of the frame and lifting the painting off the wall. Holding it casually by the top he turned back to her. "Don't worry Jenn – you'll have this back where it belongs soon enough."
"I know," she agreed sadly. When he hesitated, sensing the way her mood had dipped, she smiled. "Go – do your job."
"Dinner later?" Evan invited, not unusual but enough to raise a real smile – because invitations like that had been scarce the past week.
"Okay – I'll see you in the Mess after my shift," Jennifer agreed.
Smiling, Evan half raised the painting. "I'll take good care of this," he promised before turning and leaving her quarters.
Jennifer stood where she was, contemplating that strange moment when she'd wondered for the first time whether Evan did see her as a woman instead of just his friend. "Don't be silly," she thought ruefully. This impending trip was messing with her mind – the sooner it was over and done with, the better for both of them.
