It was barely dawn when Paige finally slipped from her bed with a soft grunt of resignation. After a completely sleepless night, there was simply no point to laying in bed awake, doing nothing. She looked down enviously at her boyfriend Glen, who was snoring softly, contentedly lost in a deep sleep.
"Wish I could do that," Paige grumbled under her breath. She slipped on her bathrobe and slippers, and padded down the stairs and into the atrium, where her sister Phoebe had been frantically pacing the floor all night.
"All right, you, enough," she admonished, her soft voice roughened from lack of sleep. "Whatever's going to happen, Phoebe, it's not going to be any better without sleep."
"I can't sleep," Phoebe moaned disconsolately.
"I meant my sleep."
"Oh." Phoebe grimaced in dismay. "Sorry."
"Come on." Paige took Phoebe's hand, and started tugging her not-so-gently away from the atrium towards the stairs.
"Paige, I'm sorry if I kept you awake, but I can't even think about sleep right now."
"I'm not taking you back to bed," Paige growled. She could barely even see her sister, through her swollen, sleep-deprived eyes.
Docilely, Phoebe allowed herself to be led up the stairs, but Paige passed by the bedrooms and led them both up the next flight of steps into the attic.
As they stepped inside, Paige frowned in puzzlement. "That's odd."
"What is?"
"The light's on."
Phoebe shrugged. "Maybe Piper was up here earlier, and forgot to turn it off?"
"Maybe," Paige answered uncertainly. She made her way over to the battered steamer trunk. Despite her exhaustion and her worry, Phoebe was suddenly overcome with curiosity. Had Paige found a magical solution to her problems?
Phoebe's flicker of hope was fanned into a flame as Paige lugged the heavy, oversized Book of Shadows from its resting place.
"I swear, as soon as we're done with demon toads, I'm going out and buying a book stand," Paige vowed solemnly. "I throw my back out every time I try to lift this damn thing."
She set the massive grimoire on the floor, seated herself cross-legged in front of it, and began quickly skimming through the pages.
Phoebe settled herself next to her sister. "What are you looking for?"
"Phoebe, I keep telling you that you're a good person, and Piper keeps telling you that, but for some reason, you just won't believe it."
"That's because I can't believe it," Phoebe remonstrated. "Paige, I've done a lot of terrible things. Things I'm not proud of. Things that really bother me."
"See? Exactly my point. Your conscience is pricking you. If you really were beyond all redemption, you wouldn't feel anything at all. That pain you feel is the good in you, Phoebe, and you need to let it guide you."
"You don't understand," Phoebe pleaded. "I've... hurt people. Lots of people. Hurt them badly. But that's not the worst part. I enjoyed what I did. You understand? I haven't shared all the details with you, mostly because I'm too ashamed to talk about it. But believe me, I was turning into a monster."
"And you ran away from that."
"And a lot of good that did me," Phoebe sighed disconsolately. "I should have known, I can't run away from the consequences of my actions. And now I've put you and Piper in danger, too."
"Phoebe, if you're dead certain that your past is going to destroy you, then you need to let go of your past."
"And how do I do that?" Phoebe almost wailed. "I can't put it out of my head, Paige. I have nightmares about it every night. And it's all I think about when I wake up."
"Yeah. We're going to fix that. Ahh, here it is," Paige exclaimed. "I thought I remembered seeing this spell."
Curious, Phoebe leaned forward slightly, and read the banner at the top of the page. "Drinking from the Lethe waters," she recited aloud, and then looked at her sister in bafflement. "I don't get it. What is this?"
"It's a memory spell," Paige explained. "If you have an unwanted memory, something that's causing you pain or distress, this spell gets rid of it."
"It does?" Phoebe's curiosity was suddenly piqued.
"There's some fine print attached," Paige warned. "It doesn't actually get rid of your past. It doesn't unwind time, or anything like that. Whatever you did, it still happened. And there may still be consequences for your actions. But this spell at least will allow you to put the bad memories and dreams out of your head long enough so we can figure out what to do."
"Is this a power of three spell? Something that all of us need to cast?"
"No, no, any witch can recite it on her own. We - I mean, you - just need a couple of ingredients."
"Like what?"
"Let's see..." Paige leaned in closer, squinting at the faded calligraphy. "A large canning jar, with a sealing lid..."
"Well, we've got dozens if not hundreds of those."
"Amber, black salt, sage, myrrh, lavender and basil..."
"Wait a minute, hold it," Phoebe protested. "Amber? Seriously? Fossilized tree sap? Where are we supposed to get something like that? And what the hell is 'black salt'?"
Paige managed a grin. "You forget. Mom and Grams left us a magical pharmacopeia." She inclined her head towards the steamer trunk.
"We might have all the ingredients in there?" Phoebe asked hopefully.
"Only one way to find out," Paige declared, getting to her feet. "I know there's a medicine chest in there. But I haven't had any time to go through most of this stuff."
With great care, the two sisters lifted the ornate wooden box from the bottom of the trunk and set it on the floor. It resembled a jewelry box in design, with trays that extended when the lid was opened, but much, much larger. Multiple runes and symbols had burnished into the sides and top of the chest.
"It's beautiful," Phoebe marveled, running her fingers lightly over the dark, polished wood. "What's it made of, do you think? Cherrywood?"
"Not sure," Paige answered distractedly. "One of the hardwoods. It is pretty, though." She lifted the lid carefully. The interior was crammed with perhaps a hundred small glass vials, neatly arranged in long rows on several shelves.
"Wow," Paige breathed in awe. "Treasure."
"Reminds me of an old fashioned chemistry set," Phoebe murmured. She picked up one of the vials carefully and peered at the faded, handwritten label.
"Dried frog tongue," she read aloud, and then almost dropped the vial in disgust. "Eww!"
Paige laughed. "That's one from Grams," she pointed at the trademark purple ink. She picked up a different vial. "Hmm. A mixture of poppyseed and crushed dragonfly wings."
"A must have for every kitchen," Phoebe quipped.
"No doubt," Paige agreed, returning the vial to its slot. Phoebe let her fingers drift over the vials, musing thoughtfully. Some of the vials were stoppered with cork; others had twist-off metal lids. She selected one at random, with a bright red metal lid.
"Kala Namak," she read, sounding out the unfamiliar words carefully. "What is that?"
"That's one of the ingredients you're looking for," Paige told her.
"What do you mean? It's not one of the names you read off."
"Phoebe, 'Kala Namak' means 'Black Salt'."
"It does?"
"Sure, haven't you ever made chutney?"
"Oh, yeah, all the time," Phoebe retorted. She peered at the contents in the vial curiously. The large crystals seemed more purplish or dark pink than black. She carefully twisted off the tiny metal lid and sniffed the contents experimentally. She wrinkled up her nose in a moue of disgust.
"Ugh! Smells like rotten eggs," she complained, quickly screwing the lid back on.
"It has a very distinct aroma," Paige laughed.
"So, how'd you know what this stuff was?" Phoebe asked, setting the vial aside.
Paige shrugged. "I'm no master chef, but when you hang around Piper long enough, you pick up a few things."
"I'm surprised she hasn't been more excited about all this," Phoebe mused thoughtfully. "You'd think she'd pick up on this kind of thing more than we would. Cooking's a lot like spell casting, and she's always been the herbs and spices and magic ingredients sister. Even before we knew we were witches."
"I think she's still trying to wrap her head around the fact that we are witches," Paige replied, and she sighed sympathetically. "It is cool, but yeah, it does take some getting used to."
"Found the amber!" Phoebe exclaimed triumphantly, lifting another vial from the chest. "Man, we really need to go through all this stuff someday soon."
After a few minutes of searching, the sisters had found all the items they needed. Phoebe carefully arranged the ingredients in the correct amounts on a large ceramic plate beside her. Paige took down a medium sized canning jar from one of the attic shelves, and dusted it off carefully with the sleeve of her bathrobe.
"This should do," she said, offering the jar to Phoebe. "It's got one of those metal clamps, so you can just push down on the ends to lock it."
"The spell also says we need a silver cauldron," Phoebe moaned in dismay, looking up from the grimoire.
"Relax, sis," Paige grinned. "We've got one of those, too."
She hurried over to the steamer trunk and pulled out a medium-sized silver bowl, polished to the point where its surface was almost as reflective as a mirror. She set it down next to Phoebe.
"Okay, so, what's next?"
"The spell says, I have to write down the memory I wish to lose on a slip of paper, like a name, or an event. Then I have to add these ingredients to the cauldron one by one, while reciting the spell," Phoebe reviewed the instructions. "When the cauldron starts to smoke, I have to fold the paper in half, put it into the jar, along with some of the smoke, and seal the jar." She frowned. "And... that's it. And then what? I just don't remember anymore?"
"That's the idea," Paige nodded.
Phoebe looked up at her sister, obviously skeptical. "You really think this is going to work?"
"Every other spell we've cast has worked," Paige pointed out.
"I know. It's just..." Phoebe sighed. "Like you said. Takes some getting used to."
Paige gave her sister an encouraging smile. "You can do this, Phoebe."
Phoebe took in a deep breath to bolster her courage, and straightened up in her sitting position. "Okay. Pen and paper. Writing down the memory I wish to lose," she declared aloud. She scribbled the name "Cole Turner" onto a small scrap of paper and carefully folded the paper in half.
"Is that the name of your demon?" Paige asked hesitantly.
"I don't want to forget what I've done," Phoebe explained. "I'm still going to have to answer for my misdeeds one day. I just want to forget the person who makes me feel good when I do evil things."
"Okay," Paige answered simply.
Phoebe began to add small pinches of the ingredients to the cauldron.
"Memento Mori, Celebramus Vitae," she intoned, trying to keep her voice from shaking. "Take from me what cannot be lost. Remembrance always carries cost. Remove my source of pain and fear, keep my memories imprisoned here."
The combined items in the cauldron began to emit curlicues of acrid smoke. Phoebe hastily placed the slip of paper inside the jar, and left the mouth of the jar open over the cauldron, allowing some of the smoke to be captured inside. When the interior of the jar seemed mostly full, Phoebe pulled it away, and pushed down on the clamps to seal it. There was a blinding flash of bright light from inside the jar. Phoebe stared at the jar for a moment, as if stunned, and then began to fall backwards in a dead faint. With a yelp of alarm, Paige caught her sister in her arms.
"Phoebe? Honey? Can you hear me? Phoebe?!"
Phoebe's eyelids fluttered open. She seemed dazed.
"Paige?"
"Phoebe, are you all right?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, I - I..." she closed her eyes again. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, "I'm really tired."
Within seconds, she began snoring gently. Her deep and regular breathing assured Paige that her sister had fallen into a deep sleep.
"Well, that's just great," Paige grumbled irritably. She gently lowered Phoebe to the ground. "Sorry, Pheebs, you're too heavy for me to carry you," she declared with a grunt, getting to her feet. She went over to the couch and grabbed one of the throw pillows. She carefully lifted Phoebe's head and slid the pillow underneath. She then took a heavy quilt and carefully covered Phoebe up.
Paige stared at Phoebe for a moment, watching her with a mixture of worry and envy. Her sister wasn't just sleeping. Paige suspected that Phoebe was probably enjoying her first untroubled sleep in weeks, if not months. Knowing she needed to watch over her sister until she woke, Paige curled herself up on the couch, drawing another quilt over herself for warmth. Then, succumbing to her own exhaustion, Paige fell into a heavy doze. The sealed memory jar, forgotten on the floor, continued to glow with a soft, pulsating light. The Book of Shadows, still open on the page for the memory spell, stirred itself slightly; then it flipped itself open to a different page - the one with the evil red and black image of the demon Belthazor.
