Disclaimer: Can someone tell me why a lawyer came to me in order to tell me to drop my claims to Naruto? This is the fourth time today, and I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. I don't own it.

Things Konoha Genin Teams are Not Allowed to Do

Team Gai

Neji, your hitai-ate is supposed to have the leaf symbol on it, not Pwn Ma73r, change it back.

Tenten, people are beginning to wonder about your uses of weapons after they saw you pull them from some rather unorthodox places. Wait, is that kunai vibrating?!

Lee, you will not tell students about the Flames of Youth again. We already have the Konohamaru Corps causing enough havoc from Naruto's influence.

While we applaud your skills at psychological warfare, Neji, you will never again tell academy students about fate, destiny, and how they're linked to their pitiful n00b skillz. Where the hell do you get these words from, anyway?

Tenten, you will not reply to what Neji says with "Jawol mein Fuher!"

Don't ask Lee, we don't want to go there.

Gai, can you explain why Tenten was holding a drunken rave in the Forest of Death?

Can you also explain why all the attendees, including Tenten, had all of their clothing gone, and cut to ribbons which thus decorated said party?

Because of that, Naruto is now getting molested even more often by women in the village.

No Lee, you will not challenge Neji to see who the true Lord of the Dance is.

Lee, can you explain how you managed to acquire alcohol when everyone in the village was expressly forbidden to provide you any?

Neji, the Byakugan is not to be used to peep on the women's baths, especially when the most attractive kunoichi are there.

You deserved to get pounded, skewered, maimed, broken, and abused like that Neji.

Lee, setting yourself on fire to see how brightly your Flames of Youth burn will not happen again.

Don't encourage him Gai.

No, Tenten, you can't use Tora as a practice dummy for your weapons.

Neither can you use the cat to practice your Jyuuken on, Neji.

Neji, quit telling Genma that you know more erogenous zones on a woman's body than him.

No, Lee, just…no.

Tenten, can you explain why you were found, naked, surrounded by chocolate covered weapons, in Naruto's apartment?

Tenten is another genin who is not allowed to associate with Anko Mitarashi.

Neji, we are beginning to wonder if your ego is for compensating for any possible lacking attributes you may have. It's the only explanation.

Don't even think about it, Lee.

Team Gai will not teach at the academy when any of the chuunin are sick. It took the instructors three weeks to get those kids back to normal.

Tenten, you will not play fetch with the Inuzuka Clan's dogs with kunai, even if they were blunted.

Gai, you and Lee will not do that man hug in the presence of diplomats from other hidden villages again.

Tenten, change back to what you wore beforehand, and put the dominatrix outfit away.

Why are you wearing a bridle, Neji?

Put the squirrel down Lee.

Neji, you will not try to put an assassination contact out on the Main Branch family elders, even if Hinata and Hanabi were the ones originally behind the idea.