Author's Note: Welcome to chapter 4! I hope that you all enjoy and happy reading! x


'A textbook heartbeat for a textbook baby.' Anna gave Shirley Williams a smile as she removed her pinard from her swollen belly after listening to her unborn baby's heartbeat a few days later, a sigh of relief escaping Shirley when she brought her hand to her belly and gave it a tender stroke.

'It doesn't feel like a textbook baby when it decides that it's time to practice it's forward rolls at three in the morning,' She teased which caused Anna to giggle as she returned her pinard to her medical bag, 'but it definitely feels like a lively one. I think I've got another Caroline on the way.'

The two of them turned their heads in the direction of the doorway to the bedroom when a little giggle reached their ears, Shirley shaking her head with a giggle of her own. 'Speak of the devil.' She smirked as she looked at her two-year-old, Caroline smiling whilst she walked into the room.

'Goodness, hasn't she grown?' Anna gasped as she looked at Caroline and then back at Shirley.

'She never stops.' Shirley told her before sweeping her hand through her daughter's hair when she came to stand next to her, her heart swelling when Caroline gave her belly a kiss before nuzzling her nose against it. 'You wouldn't think she was a little dot when she was first born, would you?'

Anna shook her head as she reached out to run her hand over Caroline's hair. 'No, you wouldn't. I can still remember how it took me forever to swaddle her because she was so tiny!' She giggled before she felt her heart swell when Caroline lifted her head and glanced up at her with a smile.

'Mummy baby.' The two-year-old said to her as she leaned against the bed.

'Mummy is going to have a baby.' Anna nodded. 'Do you know where Mummy's baby is?'

'In belly.' Caroline replied whilst giving her mother's swollen belly a rub.

'You're a very clever girl, Caroline.' Anna smiled before turning her attention back to Shirley. 'Both you and the baby are absolutely fine. All that you have to do now is wait for your waters to go.'

Shirley felt her heart race with excitement. 'How long do you think it'll be before they do?'

'A week; two at most.' Anna informed her. 'You already have the delivery pack, so all you have to do when your waters break is telephone Downton and I'll be with you as soon as I possibly can.'

'I'll try not to wake up the whole street this time.' Shirley laughed.

'If you need to scream, you scream.' Anna gave her lower leg a stroke. 'If someone has a problem with that then they can come up to me and complain about it and I'll put them in their place.'

Shirley offered her a smile. 'I don't know what this town would do without you.' She said to her.

'I just do my part like the rest of the midwives and nurses.' Anna replied.

'At least you do it with a smile and a bit of compassion.' Shirley scoffed. 'I had Nurse O'Brien do my checks at clinic the other week and she wasn't half rough with me. She told me off when I leaned down to help this little one up when she fell over too!' She tucked a fair curl back behind Cynthia's ear before kissing her forehead. 'I don't know why they allowed her to be a midwife.'

Anna sighed in response. 'When it comes to Nurse O'Brien, the best thing to do is just allow what she says to go over your head and count to ten. I know that that's hard - trust me, I've been so close to having it out with her before now - but it's better for everyone if you try and stay calm.'

'I hungry.' The sound of Cynthia's voice made Anna look over at the clock on the bedroom wall.

'Goodness, it's gone twelve.' She said. 'I should leave so that the two of you can have your lunch.'

'You can stay and have lunch with us if you'd like to, Nurse.' Shirley told her once she had sat up and pulled her blouse back down, Anna smiling at her as she put her things into her medical bag.

'That's very kind of you, Shirley, but the Sisters will be expecting me back at Downton soon and I need to get these instruments washed in case I get called out again.' She explained. 'Next time I come I'll take you up on that offer, though.' She rested her hand on her arm and gave it a stroke.

'Are you going to give the Nurse a cuddle and say goodbye, poppet?' Shirley turned to Cynthia.

Cynthia nodded before Anna slipped off of the edge of the bed and crouched down in order to be level with her, the two of them sharing a smile before the two-year-old slipped her arms around Anna's middle and laid her head on her shoulder. 'Are you going to help Mummy?' Anna inquired.

'Yes.' Cynthia nodded once she had brought their embrace to an end.

'That's what I like to hear.' Anna reached up to run a hand over her soft curls.

She then rose from her crouched position and picked up her medical bag from the foot of the bed, Shirley and Cynthia beaming at her when she turned to them. 'I'll see you both soon.' She said.

'Thank you, Nurse.' Shirley laced an arm around her daughter's waist.

'Bye-bye.' Cynthia gave her a small wave as she looked up at her.

'Bye-bye, sweetie.' Anna giggled before turning on her heel and walking out of the small bedroom.

It didn't take her long to walk down the stairs and out of the front door to where her bicycle was leaning against the wall, a satisfied sigh escaping her as she secured her bag to the back of her bicycle and mounted it. She then sat silently for a couple of minutes whilst she smiled to herself.

It was check-ups like this that she loved the most.

It was check-ups like this that made all of the sleepless nights and early mornings worth it.

And it was check-ups like this that made her feel so grateful to her mother and her grandmother.


'You wait here for a minute, darling, alright?' She smiled when she returned to Downton just over half-an-hour later and saw John run his hand over Kathleen's hair whilst he got out of his car. Their eyes met when he turned his head in her direction as she dismounted her bicylcle and she felt her heart flutter at the smile that appeared on his lips. He seemed genuinely happy to see her.

Once she had walked her bicycle over to the bicycle shed and taken her medical bag from the back of it she turned back to him and watched him approach her. 'Good afternoon.' He said once he had reached her and leaned against the wall, his gaze fixed on her as she smoothed down her uniform before reaching up to brush her hair back beneath her ear.

'Good afternoon.' She replied as she looked into his eyes. 'What brings you here?'

'I'm just dropping in to deliver some insulin.' He explained. 'I'm still doing rounds but it's taking twice as long since I have a certain someone with me who just wants to go and get ice-cream.' The two of them laughed together before she looked over his shoulder at his car and smirked as she watched Kathleen climb out of the car and run over to them both.

'Anna!' The two-year-old squealed with glee.

Before she reached her, Anna crouched down so that the two of them were at the same level before opening her arms to her and allowing her to run into them. Kathleen all but threw her arms around her neck once she had entered her arms, her brown curls tickling the underside of her jaw as she buried her face in her neck and smiled against her skin.

'Hello, my darling.' Anna giggled after turning her head and brushing her lips against her forehead as she snugged her closer to her chest. 'Have you missed me, by any chance?'

'That's an understatement.' John chuckled from where he was stood in front of her. 'She hasn't stopped talking about you and asking when we were going to see you again since we had our picnic.' He admitted to her, the love that she possessed for Kathleen deepening at knowing that she had missed her so much. 'Alright, angel, it's time to let her breathe.'

At the sound of her father's voice, Kathleen unwound her arms from around Anna's neck and took a step back from her so that she could return to her usual height. 'I don't know if she'll want to, but she can stay here with me and I can look after her until you finish your rounds if you would like.' Anna suggested to John. 'I doubt I'll get called out again.'

John looked into her eyes for a moment before lowering his gaze to Kathleen and smiling as he watched her reach up and take Anna's hand in hers. 'Would you like that, darling? Would you like to stay here with Anna until I finish working?' He raised his brow at her.

'Yes!' Her eyes lit up.

'Are you sure that you don't mind?' He asked when he looked back at Anna.

'Of course I don't.' She shook her head. 'We have a box of toys that we take with us to clinic for the children that she can play with and if she gets bored then we can sit and watch some cartoons.' She gave Kathleen's hand a squeeze when she looked down at her. 'I think we also have some biscuits and apple juice in the kitchen.' She said with a smirk.

The happiness on Kathleen's face warmed her heart.

'You have no idea how much you're helping me by doing this.' John smiled at her. 'I don't mind paying you when I come to get her after finishing my rounds.' Anna gave him a look.

'I don't want you to give me a single shilling.' She told him. 'Being able to spend time with her is payment enough, trust me.' She ran her thumb across Kathleen's knuckles before feeling the two-year-old snuggle against her and lace her fingers carefully with her own.

'Thank you so much.' He said.

'You're welcome.' She replied. 'Now, we had better head inside so that you can drop that insulin off and get back to doing your rounds.' The two of them gave each other one last smile before leaving the bicycle shed and walking over to the stone steps that led up to Downton Place's front door, Anna going at Kathleen's pace to ensure she didn't trip over.

Once the three of them had reached the top of the steps she opened the front door and stepped inside the building first with Kathleen at John's insistence, a sigh of happiness escaping her as John closed the front door behind the three of them and she knew that she was going to have an incredible hour-or-so entertaining and snuggling with Kathleen.

Was she exhausted?

Of course she was.

But did she care?

No.

No matter how tired she felt she would never give up a chance to spend time with her.

Because she loved her with all her heart and soul and that was never going to change.


It was quite some time later when she was settled on the sofa in the sitting room with Kathleen in her lap, her arms wrapped gently around the two-year-old's waist as a plate of biscuits sat on the cushion beside them and they watched Mr Magoo together. John had told her that Mr. Magoo was one of Kathleen's favourite cartoons and she was able to tell that that was true because she had giggled her way through every episode so far.

Since John had left to finish his rounds the two of them had managed to do quite a lot together. They had started off drawing at the kitchen table with a glass of apple juice each and then – after a while – they had moved into the sitting rooms in order to sit and play with the dolls. Kathleen had soon gotten bored of that, however, hence how the two of them now found themselves snuggling together on the sofa in front of the television.

When she felt Kathleen shift into a more comfortable position in her lap and lie her head on her breast, Anna lowered her gaze to her and smiled before pressing her lips to her crown. She couldn't understand how her mother had been able to find it in her to leave her. If she had stayed, then she would have known what an incredible little girl she had carried within her body and she would have been able to have moments like this with her.

But she had left.

And she wasn't able to have moments like this with her daughter.

Anna brushed her thumb against the curve of Kathleen's waist once she had leaned back against the sofa again, nothing but love for her sparkling in her eyes when she tilted her head back on her chest and looked up at her. 'Love you.' Kathleen told her as she reached up to rest her hand on her cheek, soft tears springing to Anna's eyes at her tenderness.

'I love you too, sweet-pea.' She reassured her before holding her a bit closer. 'So much.'

After lowering her head to give her two kisses on the forehead the two of them turned back to the television and settled again when the opening scene to the next episode of Mr Magoo came onto the screen, Kathleen grasping Anna's cardigan in her hand before she nuzzled her cheek against her breast and released a soft sigh of pure contentment.

Just five minutes before the end of the episode, Anna turned her head in the direction of the doorway to the sitting room and smiled as she watched John walk into the room. 'That took you less time than I thought it would.' She said whilst watching him walk over to the sofa, the springs squeaking somewhat when he sat down in the space next to her.

'It's surprising how fast you can do rounds when you don't have a little girl asking for ice cream whenever you stop the car.' He teased with a smirk before leaning back against the back of the sofa, Anna giggling as she did the same before he reached out to stroke Kathleen's cheek with the back of his hand whilst she slept. 'How has she been for you?'

'She's been a little angel, just like I knew she would be.' She reassured him. 'She hasn't been asleep long. She nodded off about fifteen minutes ago.' John nodded his response.

'Thank you again for doing this.' He said to her. 'Is there anything I can do to repay you?'

She laid her chin atop Kathleen's head. 'You could always treat me to dinner.' She joked.

'All right.' He said almost without missing a beat.

Anna turned her head in his direction, somewhat surprised. 'I was teasing.' She told him.

'I wasn't.' He replied. 'You deserve to let your hair down a little.'

She gave him a small smile. 'I'll pay for my own meal then.'

'No, you won't.' He shook his head. 'It'll be my treat.'

Anna felt her heart flutter within her chest. 'When should we go?' She asked.

'When's your next evening off?' He inquired.

'I finish at five on Wednesday.' She revealed.

'Shall I make a reservation for eight and come for you at half seven then?' He smiled.

She couldn't keep the smile from spreading across her own lips. 'That'd be perfect.' Her voice was no higher than a whisper as she replied to him and she felt her mouth go dry when she saw him lower his gaze from hers to her lips for a split-second. Was he going to kiss her? Was he thinking about kissing her? Should she shift back or let it happen?'

Oh goodness…she didn't know what to do.

All she knew was that, when he reached up to slide the hair that had fallen into her face back behind her ear, his touch felt heavenly. Her eyes closed of their own accord when he traced the curve of her ear with his thumb, the steady gallop of her heart increasing when her eyes opened again and he shifted closer to her on the sofa. 'Anna…' He sighed.

She allowed herself to look into his eyes for a moment before she lowered her own gaze to his lips. They looked so soft…so warm…and – despite her nerves – she wanted to know what they would feel like on hers. On her cheek. On her neck. It had been so long since she had last been kissed in any of those places by a man and…and oh, did she long for it.

When she looked into his eyes again she began to realise what it was he was waiting for.

He was waiting for permission.

'Please…' Was all she managed to get out.

When he brought his hand to her cheek and pressed his palm flat against it she sighed, her eyes falling closed as he brushed his thumb against the baby hairs that were at the side of her head. 'Look at me, Anna.' He told her in a soft voice before shaking his head with a smile when she opened her eyes again. 'You are so beautiful…' He breathed gently.

'Kiss me, John…' She said after a few seconds before butterflies started to flit around in her stomach when he brought his lips closer to hers. Her lips parted on instinct when he nudged her nose with his and she felt his breath on her face, but before he was able to cover her mouth with his, the sound of footsteps approaching made them jump apart.

Just a few seconds later, Sarah O'Brien entered the room and gave the two of them a suspicious look before heading into the kitchen to make a cup of tea, Anna clearing her throat as a blush bloomed in her cheeks and she ran her fingers through Kathleen's hair. 'I think it's time I got her home so that she can have her bath.' John said quietly to her.

'I'll come to the door with you.' She gave him a shy smile before getting up from the sofa with him and following him out of the sitting room, her heels clicking on the tiled floor as the two of them walked in the direction of the front door. Once the two of them had reached the front door she allowed him to lift Kathleen off of her hip and onto his own.

He shushed his little girl when she whimpered in her sleep at the transition before she settled down again and pressed her face into his neck, his gaze tender when he looked into Anna's eyes again. 'So I'll pick you up at half past seven on Wednesday?' He inquired.

'You will.' She nodded as she clasped her hands in front of herself.

He rested his free hand on her arm and gave it a squeeze before turning to pull open the front door to leave, but pausing before he did so. 'One more thing before I go.' He said when he turned back to her, Anna's brow furrowing a little as she looked him in the eye.

'What is it?' She asked.

'Come here.' Before she had time to process what he had said or what was happening he had covered her mouth with his, rested his hand on her waist and drawn her against him. She whimpered against his lips at the initial contact, but soon settled into it and brought her hand up to his chest so that she could grasp the fabric of his waistcoat in her hand.

He left several open-mouthed kisses on her lips before lingering on her bottom lip and pulling back from her, the smack of their lips echoing in the silence of the hall before he leaned his forehead against her own. Their warm and fast breath mingled as they held each other close, their lips wearing the exact same smile whilst they caught their breath.

'I'm sorry…' He panted, 'but it would have killed me to wait until Wednesday to do that.'

She giggled breathlessly before taking a small step back from him and opening her eyes, her hand coming up to rest on his cheek when he opened his own eyes before she swept her thumb across his skin. 'You don't have to apologise.' She told him. 'That was perfect.'

'You're perfect.' He covered her hand with his on his cheek before removing it.

'I see I'm getting involved with a charmer.' She smirked.

'That's not called being a charmer.' He replied. 'That's called being an honest man.'

He ran his thumb across her knuckles before releasing her hand and taking a small step closer to her. 'I want nothing more than to stay and discuss where this is going, but I've got to get her back home so that I can give her her bath and find her something to eat.'

'Of course you have.' She nodded before reaching out to stroke Kathleen's hair.

'We'll talk about it at dinner on Wednesday though, all right?' He raised his brow as he took her chin on his finger, her eyes sparkling as she nodded again whilst he traced her jawline with his thumb. Unable to resist, he leaned in to press one last kiss onto her lips.

'I'll see you soon.' He told her after letting go of her chin and allowing her to step back.

'Okay.' She replied before he turned and opened the front door, the two of them sharing a smile before he walked out of Downton Place and closed the door behind him. A sigh of happiness escaped her as she looked at the door for a moment before turning around, a blush blooming in her cheeks when she saw Gwen standing on the staircase with a smirk.

'Wit-woo.' The red-headed nurse giggled as she looked at her.

Anna scoffed before returning her friend's smirk and walking over to the staircase. 'It was just a kiss.' She told her as she ascended the stairs, Gwen shaking her head at her.

'That was not "just a kiss"!' Gwen almost exclaimed. 'He seriously fancies you!'

'Shh!' Anna laughed. 'We're meant to be keeping things professional.'

'And how's that working out for you?' Gwen teased.

Once the two of them had reached the top of the staircase they made their way into Anna's room and closed the door behind them. As soon as she sat down on her bed, Gwen knew that there was something troubling her friend. 'What is it?' She asked as she sat down beside her and began to run a comforting hand along her back through her uniform.

'I know that I love him,' Anna sighed, 'but I still love Patrick as well.'

'Anna, I apologise if this comes out wrong,' Gwen started, 'but Patrick's dead.'

'I know he is, Gwen, but that doesn't mean I've stopped loving him!' There were tears in her eyes. 'I was pregnant with his baby, for goodness sake!' Gwen felt her heart shatter in her chest as she thought back to the night – not too long after Patrick's death – when Anna had come running into her bedroom clutching at her stomach and sobbing in agony.

She could still remember holding her close on the bathroom floor whilst she had lost the baby, her fingers running through her hair as her head had rested on her shoulder and her tears had fallen onto her neck. She could still remember telling Anna to go and get into her bed once it was all over and scrubbing the floor to remove the traces of blood.

When she had walked into her bedroom and found her best friend curled up in a ball on her bed with her knees brought up to her chest her heart had physically ached. It had broken, however, when – when she had been holding her - she had told her that she had had nothing left and that she had had nothing else to live for. She had seemed so broken.

Even now, ten years later, she knew that she was still unable to enter that bathroom and not think about what had happened that night. 'Oh, Anna, I'm so sorry.' She said. 'I did-'

Anna shook her head as a tear rolled down her cheek. 'No, I shouldn't have snapped like that. It's just that the thought of falling in love again; the thought of replacing Patrick kills me, but I want to be with John and I want to have a love-life again.' She said to her.

'You don't have to make any decisions now.' Gwen soothed as she stroked her hair. 'What you need to do is lie down and get some sleep. You're exhausted and your body needs it.'

'Will you stay with me?' Anna sniffled as she turned her head in her direction.

Gwen nodded. 'I'll never leave you.'

That was one thing that Anna could always be sure of.


As she laid in silence beside Anna on her bed a little over an hour later, Gwen sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair and was able to feel her breath beating against the side of her neck whilst she slept. She hated seeing her like this. For as long as she had known her she had been the strong one. She had been the one to pick her up when she was down and to make her laugh when she cried. Seeing her so low made her heart ache.

She knew how much she had loved Patrick before his death. She knew how excited she had been to have his baby and start a family with him even though she hadn't intended to fall pregnant. Patrick had loved her just as much in return, that had been so clear to her. Whenever he had looked at her there had been nothing but love and devotion in his eyes and whenever the two of them had been together they had been wreathed in smiles.

It filled her with rage to know that a stupid war had ripped the two of them apart.

A stupid war had broken her friend and taken everything that she had loved most in the world away from her. Before his death she had showed her pictures of wedding dresses that she had liked in a magazine because she had been certain that Patrick was going to propose. What made remembering that even more difficult was remembering that – when he'd been pulled out from under the rubble – an engagement ring had been discovered in his pocket.

She knew that that had been what had killed Anna the most.

She tightened her hold of her friend when her breath hitched in her sleep and drew her a little closer to her, her chin coming to rest atop her head as she tucked her hair back behind her ear. She didn't know how long it would be before she allowed herself to move on from Patrick and be happy with John, but she knew that that day would come around.

Because she was the strongest woman living.

That, Gwen was certain of.


Author's Note: Thank you all so much for reading this chapter and I hope that you enjoyed it. I also hope that you'll let me know what you thought of it with a review! I'll see you all next time :) x