Felicity: An American Girl Romance Part 1 Chapter 4: Bewitched
"Lissie," he panted,clasping her hand. "You won't forget me, will you?"
"No, no, Ben, of course not," Felicity sobbed wretchedly as she knelt next to him on the ground where he lay. Fire burned threateningly somewhere close by. The heat of it was stifling. Orange flickering flames illuminated Ben's sweaty face and the blood that streamed from the deep dark gash on his forehead. Shouting and gunshots echoed from the darkness that lay just beyond the firelight.
"Ben, don't die, don't leave me alone," she begged, holding his hot hand to her cheek. "Don't you know that I love you?"
He was closing his eyes even as he spoke. "You must be strong, Lissie. Be a strong patriot girl..."
"Ben! NO!" Panic like mindless madness dwelt within her. She was losing him for real this time! His hand went limp in hers, and she began to shake so violently she couldn't hold on to her senses. A groan began in her chest, shaking her ribs, vibrating in her throat, barrelling up and from her mouth into a scream that rang in her ears and pierced the darkness...
"NOOOO!" And she screamed her horror into the night...
A dog was barking. Someone was grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her, The smell of the outdooers filled her nostrils, and suddenly her screaming stopped. Her eyes fluttered open as she gasped audibly, wavering where she stood.
Outside the house.
"Lissie...Lissie, focus. Look at me." Father's voice, gentle but firm. It was he who had a grip on her shoulders, his face her blurred eyes began to recognize. His hand stroking her long loose hair back away from her face. Another soft, gentle hand upon her other shoulder was Mother's. As her vision fixed, she saw Rose beyond Father's left shoulder, holding her candle and looking worried. Standing to the right was Ben, looking equally frightened. They were all in their nightclothes.
What was going on? Why were they all outside? Why was she outside?
"Lissie, honey," Father said slowly and carefully to her, "are you awake now?"
She gulped and found her throat dry. "Ye-yes," she mumbled uncertainly. "Father, what happened?"
Mr. Merriman exchanged a look with his wife, who was standing behind Felicity. He looked at Felicity and said, "Do you remember coming downstairs and out the door, dearest?"
"No..." she said worriedly. Though she wasn't looking at him, she could feel Ben's gaze upon her, and, having quickly woken now, she felt embarrassed. "But...I was having another nightmare, wasn't I?"
"Aye," Father breathed, "and it seems you were...sleepwalking, Lissie."
"Oh no," she whispered, seeing the fear in her father's eyes. "No, how could I...down the stairs and...and out into the yard? Father, how?"
Mr. Merriman pulled her into his arms and hugged her hard. "I don't know, Lissie. But it happens...'tis not uncommon. Sometimes people dream, and they are so focused within their dream that...that they're just not aware..." He didn't know what else to say. Here was his eldest child, needing an answer, looking to him for help, and he couldn't provide it.
Mrs. Merriman stroked her hair soothingly. "Let us just be thankful that you did not fall or get hurt." She swallowed nervously. "the danger has passed. Let's all be calm now."
"I...I'm sorry, everyone," Felicity said to them all. Her eyes met Ben's. He was staring at her with deep concern. "Did I wake you, Ben?"
"Aye," he said, but there was no trace of anger or irritability in his voice. Only worry. "I thought something horrible had happened. When I came out of the barn I saw you standing there with your eyes closed, holding yourself and screaming. Then your mother, father, and Rose came out, and..." He trailed off. "What a horrible nightmare it must've been, Lissie."
Her father was hugging her again. She laid her cheek upon his shoulder but she was looking at Ben, thinking, Good God, ben Davidson, if you only knew! 'Twas about you, always about you.
Ben's expression was sympathetic. Did he feel sorry for her? she wondered. She hoped not. She wished she could tell him all that she felt, all of her worries for him, but it was probably best that she not. He wouold think me only as a child, with a crush on him at best...no, I cannot bear to have him dismiss all that I feel for him.
Father rose, putting an arm around her shoulders. He sighed heavily. "Let's all just go back to bed now. I think-I believe, the worst is over. Like Martha said. Shall we?"
Mrs. Merriman nodded, and Father led Felicity up the porch steps following Mother. She glanced back over her shoulder and saw Ben looking at her over his as he went back to the barn.
"Mother, is Felicity bewitched?" Nan asked softly, She had been standing at the front door, watching and listening with wide eyes.
"Oh, of course not, Nan," Mrs. Merriman told her, trying not to be too amused by the serious fascination of the girl's question. She ushered Nan inside. "Your sister had a very bad dream that took her out of bed. Sometimes it happens. No one knows why, exactly, but it does. Be glad she wasn't hurt."
Nan yawned. "Well, at least she didn't kick me this time."
Once upstairs, Father turned to Felicity out in the hall. "Lissie, would you rest easier if you slept with your mother tonight? I can sleep on the sofa."
"No, Father," Felicity said quickly. "I mean, thank you, but I will be fine now. It won't happen again!" She wanted to say I promise, but she wasn't too sure of it herself. The thought of sleepwalking and not being aware of it was God-awful frightening.
She wasn't a child, she scolded herself mentally. She had to get control over these nightmares before she drove everyone crazy. And herself.
"Please, Father, I'm all right. I'm so afraid of sleepwalking that I won't want it to happen again. I'll-I'll try harder!"
"Lissie," Mr. Merriman pressed on gently, "'tis not something a body has control over. But if you were to sleep next to your mother, maybe your sleep would be undisturbed."
"Well..." Felicity sighed. She didn't want ot be treated like a child! But her mind and body were exhausted and weak, and she honestly didn't want to argue. It was late, and the thought of a sound sleep was awfully tempting. "Just for tonight, Father, okay?"
"Okay, then." Mr. Merriman nodded, satisfied. He gave her arm a gentle tug. "Lissie...is there something on your mind, something you want to talk about?" Upon seeing Felicity's confused expression, he added, "I mean, is there something worrying you so much that you feel you can't speak of it? Lissie, we love you so very much. Your mother and I will listen to anything you have to say, anytime. Please, if there's anything you want to talk to us about..."
Felicity gulped, looked nervous, and shifted her weight. "I-I'll, um, I will...think about it, Father. I really will." She gave her father the hardest hug that she could, for someone who was just shocked awake from a sleepwalking incident just minutes ago.
Mr. Merriman knew it was the best he could hope for under the circumstances. He hugged her hard, released her, and said, "Well good then. Sleep well, my sweet girl. You may even sleep in late if you feel you need to, okay?"
"Okay. Thank you, Father." Dutifully, she turned and went to her mother, who was waiting by her parents' bedchamber door with candle in hand. Nan had been put back to bed, and Polly and William were indeed sleeping like rocks. Mrs. Merriman exchanged a nod with her husband that went unnoticed by Felicity, who was too weary to notice much of anything.
In Mother and Father's bed, Felicity felt cozy and safe, but wary of the return of nightmares. Especially the kind that would make her get up and move about the house without her realizing it. I could've fallen downstairs! she kept repeating over and oner on her mind. I could've done anything! Good God, what next? What is becoming of me? She shuddered.
As Mrs. Merriman blew out the candle and settled in next to her eldest, she aked gently, "All right, my dear?"
"I think so," Felicity replied sleepily. She absently fingered the linen wrap around the burn on her hand.
"Lissie," Mrs. Merriman began carefully, "Do you suppose being in the fire today is giving you nightmares? You were very brave, you know. Sometimes a person allows themselves to feel afraid after the situation."
Felicity nodded understandingly. "I know." After a few moments she asked, "Mother, am I bewitched?"
An emotional alarm went off within Mrs. Merriman, who believed her daughter to be on the verge of opening up, but she remained calm and patient. "Of course not, Lissie. Don't let Nan bother you. Whyever should you think so?"
"Well.." No, she couldn't open up about her Ben-feelings yet. It was much too soon. Too awkward. "I'm either bewitched, or I let things get to me, I guess." It was the best she could do without breaking down. As much as she wanted to, she just didn't feel up to another emotion-charged situation right then.
"What kind of things, Lissie?" Mrs. Merriman faked a yawn, to appear non-pushy.
"The war, mostly. Hearing about good men dying and all." She swallowed nervously. "Many a young lady losing their fellow to war and the pox..."
Mrs. Merriman's heart skipped a beat. Edward was right! she thought. But I must not push. I must not force the issue. Softly she said, "I know you feel for the soldiers, dear, and that's noble and patriotic. But you are still so young. It might help if you prayed for the soldiers, all right?"
Felicity nodded.
The rest of the night went without incident, although Felicity felt haunted by her worry for Ben's life. She did not sleep in, as Father told her she could, but instead rose at her usual time and took Penny for a ride, stopping for a while to let her beloved mare graze while she wrote in her journal about her sleepwalking. It helped her cope, writing. It was as though by writing she was clearing the slate for the next bout of agony.
She didn't expect to see Ben in the barn when she returned, but there he was, feeding Patriot and preparing to give the young colt a grooming. When he saw Felcity he smiled warmly. "Okay this morning, Lissie?" His eyes were full of concern,
Blast! she thought angrily. He pities me. I cannot let him do that! 'Tis not what I want at all!
"Just fine, thank you, Ben," she replied casually, sitting her basket down and trying to appear chipper and unaffected as she began to remove Penny's saddle.
Ben hurried over and took the saddle buckle into his own hands. "Here, let me. You go sit-"
"Ben, don't." She gripped his arm firmly and looked him square in the eye. He stopped, gulped, and looked at her. "Don't be like this. You know I'm fully capable of taking care of Penny and Patriot. I had a bad night, that's all. I'm not disabled. And stop looking at me like I'm going to break like a piece of looking-glass." Then, so as to not offend him she added kindly, "I appreciate your concern, Ben, I really do, but I'm fine now. Please...let me finish with Penny." She smiled brightly for emphasis.
Eying her uncertainly, Ben straightened and Felicity resumed unfastening Penny's saddle. He watched her for a moment, then said, "I've never known anyone who sleepwalked before."
She forced a grin as she pulled the saddle off Penny's back and took it to it's stand near the stables. "Me either! 'Twas bizarre, was it not?"
He smiled sheepishly. "Aye, it was. But...what were you dreaming about that was so awful?"
She'd been prepared for that. "War," was all she said, simply. Again, it was only a half-truth.
Ben nodded understandingly. But before he could speak again, Felicity said, "But I'm determined to not let it get to me, in my sleep again, anyway. I will pray for our soldiers and do whatever I can to help." She was breathless-usually, handling Penny's saddle didn't affect her. She blamed it on lack of sleep. "Whatever that may be."
Ben strolled forward, holding Penny's reins for her. "Lissie," he began carefully, "will you be praying for me?"
Whoosh! Her heart jumped! But she remained calm and casual on the outside. "Of course I will, Ben," she told him (as if it were no big deal, when it actually was). "I will pray for your safety and your safe return. You know I will!"
He smiled at her, reached out, and picked away a strand of wayward red hair that had come down between her eyes. She felt a liitle embarrassed-whenever she went riding, her hair flew out of its pinings like it had a mind of its own. She guessed she looked rather wind-raggled all over. In fact, she was quite certain her mobcap was askew. She smiled back, dazed.
"You're a good patriot," he told her, "for a bit of a girl."
Her shy feeling quickly turned to burning frustration. "Ben Davidson, don't you dare call me a 'bit of a girl', not now, not ever again!" She snatched the reins from his hand and took Penny to her stall to start removing the bit and bridle. Oh he sure knew how to ruin a moment, that Ben! She gritted her teeth in frustration.
Ben was clearly taken aback. He followed her to Penny's stall. "Lissie...what's wrong?"
Good Lord, he didn't even know? She spun on him, tears glistening in her eyes. "You still insist on treating me like a stupid little girl, don't you! Well, I'm not! At least Reginald Forsythe doesn't see me that way!" She strode past him boldly, bridle in hand on its way back to its hook on the wall.
It had the effect on him she was hoping for. Irritably, Ben muttered, "Forsythe probably sees you as old as he is!"
"But at least he knows I'm growing up, which is more than I can say for you!" She guided Penny into her stall and closed the door a little harder than she meant to. Poor little Patriot jumped.
Felicity sighed. "And for a nearly eighteen year old, a lot of times you behave no older than William!" He opened his mouth, probably to protest, Felicity guessed and said quickly, "So if you ever call me a bit-of-a-girl again, so help me Ben, I'll-"
"I'm sorry!" he blurted, gesturing desperately. "I'm sorry, Lissie, I mean it! I know you're not stupid, and you're right, you're not a little girl. I didn't think-you know how I am sometimes. I just don't think."She glared uncertainly at him, so he hastilly added, "Okay, a lot of times. Please, don't be mad at me anymore."
She pursed her lips and studied him, his pleading expression. The ire he'd provoked within her had set her to breathing faster and brought a flush to her cheeks. On top of all that, she wasn't feeling too good at all right now.
"Lissie, please?"
If she had been a boy, she would've swore. She sure felt like it. But instead she rolled her eyes and sighed again. "Oh, all right. But please, Ben, stop treating me like a child. I don't like it anymore."
He straightened, smiling. Having Felicity Merriman mad at you was not bearable at all! "I promise you I will not treat you like a child anymore. And I will never, ever call you a bit-of-a-girl again. I swear on my beliefs as a Patriot!"
Felicity's smile went crooked. "I guess I have to believe you then, don't I?"
"Aye, you do!" He grinned broadly. "Shall we go to breakfast now?"
"Yes, I'm starving." They statred for the house together.
A quiet moment passed, then Ben said, "I'm really sorry, Lissie."
She nodded. "I believe you. Now let's forget about it."
"Verily!"
And just like that, the awkward feeling was gone. There was peaceful friendship between them again. But glancing at him as they went into the house, Felicity could tell he was contemplating something-he had that deep-thinking look upon his face again.
If only she could know what it was about.
-Mrs Merriman changed the bandage on Felicity's burnt hand again, and examined Ben's cut before he left for the store, and reported that both were looking much better. Everyone who came into the store wanted to hear about the fire, and the kids who saved the livestock. Ben replied he'd 'helped' the animals get out, but it was Felicity Merriman who rescued him. He said so with pride.
Ben had just finished relaying the story for the fifth time, and stooped to retrieve a new ink pot from beneath the counter, when he heard a now agonizingly familiar, high-pitched voice say, "Get up here, boy, I'm in need of assistence!"
Forsythe! Ben grimaced. Looking extremely irate, he slowly rose, working at keeping his temper in check. It required quite the effort. A quick glance around the store showed him Mr. Merriman was with a customer and chatting avidly. He heaved a stressful sigh, looked Forsythe in the beady hazel eye, and muttered, "What do you want."
The amused young man, today clad in velvety burgandy, cocked an eyebrow. "And is that how a shoopkeeper teaches his apprentice to greet paying customers?"
Ben glared. "You mean you're going to actually buy something and not wait around for Felicity to appear?"
"Well if she did appear it would certainly brighten my day," Forsythe snapped quickly, looking Ben up and down with sneering disapproval. He slapped his money down on the counter. "Mama wants ground cinnamon. Get it."
Ben was all too glad to get away from the bothersome fop. With his back turned several feet away, he mockingly mouthed 'Mama wants ground cinnamon" off and on as he reached for the big cinnamon canister. However, he was not too far from the counter to hear Mr. Merriman's amiable but not too joyful "Good day, Mr. Forsythe. What brings you by today?"
In his mind, Ben answered Mama wants ground cinnamon and I want the girl with cinnamon-colored hair!
"Mama requires cinnamon for her recipe," Forsythe replied in his English drawl. "A servant boy could've sufficed, but 'tis rather a pleasant day for being out, wouldn't you agree?"
"Oh, I do indeed, Mr. Forsythe," replied Edward Merriman, clasping his hands behind his back and smiling pleasantly.
Forsythe raised his chin. "I don't supose you have reconsidered my offer of courtship of Miss Felicity?"
Ben nearly dropped the canister as he returned to the counter. He stared in disbelief, mouth open.
"No, Mr. Forsythe," Mr. Merriman said, as if it was no big deal, "I stand firm by my word."
Both of Forsythe's thin black eyebrows went up. "Indeed. So tell me, Mr. Merriman, about this 'summer social' coming up. I've heard these Mitchums throw quite a bash. From what is said, sounds more like a miniatue fair!"
Mr. Merriman chuckled, nodded at Ben to go ahead and pour out Forsythe's requested can of spice, and said, "Well, it didn't start out that way. The Mitchums began by inviting all their friends and relatives to a beginning-of-summer-party in the open meadow behind their home, but being the most friendly sort, they've accumulated quite a townful of friends and acquaintances over the years, and thus what began as an innocent summer social has bloosomed into, as you put it, quite a bash, where the entire town is invited. 'Tis an informal affair, so no one has to bother with dressing up and primping. Due to the increasing amount of party-goers each year, the Mitchum family has added a wrestling match for the men, and a beauty contest for the young ladies, and-"
"Beauty contest?" interrupted Forsythe with a measure of delight. He grinned, showing yellowish teeth. "Then you must be entering Miss Felicity! No doubt she'd win with no problem!"
Ben was frowning furiosly.
"Well thank you for saying so," Mr. Merriman said, smiling with patience again, "but my Felicity has no interest in such things. She sees them as silly and demeaning and I rather agree."
Ben was nodding along with his master word for word. He wanted to blurt out, "She would never allow herself to be put on display like a showhorse," but managed to bite his tongue, albeit just barely.
"I see," Forsythe said simply."Most unfortunate. She is a stunning young beauty, and that will most certainly not go unnoticed. Has she an escort to this...festivity?"
Ben grimaced, opened his mouth to say something, but Mr. Merriman said, "No, Mr. Forsythe, an escort is unnecessary, for she will be accompanied by myself, her family, and young Ben here."
Ben smiled gloatingly and folded his arms over his chest, a gesture that all but screamed, "Ha! So there!"
But Forsythe took no notice of Ben or the mention of his name. He instead sighed irritably and said, "Very well, then. As my Auntie is looking forward to attending this informal gathering, with the intentions of coaxing mama out of doors, I can tell you I will, as a matter of fact, see you there."
"We shall look forward to seeing you and your aunt and mother," Mr. Merriman said, sounding anything rather than anticipating. The store's bell rang out. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've a customer. Good day, Mr. Forsythe." He gave a curt nod and left the two young men at the counter.
"Good day," Forsythe muttered. His eyes snapped to Ben. "Well, have you my can?"
"There." Ben jerked his head toward the door-end of the counter. As Forsythe moved to snatch it up, Ben added, "And it would be in your best interest not to bother Mr. Merriman's daughter at this social." He had to say something-his nature as a hot-head insisted upon it!
"Is that so?" Forsythe hesitated, smiled crookedly. "And who are you, a shoopkeeper's apprentice, to give such an order? Her father? Her brother, perhaps? You're certainly not a suitor!" He laughed whimsically at such an absurd notion. His laugh was interspersed with nasal snorts. "Good Lord, what a laugh! As if a boy the likes of you could gain the admiration of such an angel. You are, I dare say, most fortunate to share a home with the girl, but you obviously lack the few wits it requires to see the tremendous beauty dwelling right under your nose." He hesitated, mostly for effect, for Ben was red hot with anger and breathing fast (hidden by the counter, his fists were clenched white), then foppish Forsythe added, with a softness that was anything but heart-felt, "I almost feel sorry for you, boy. Almost...but not quite."
Smirking, Lord Forsythe left.
Despite a curious customer coming in, Ben quickly strode to the back room, kicked open the back door, and stepped out on the little porch, panting. He braced himself on the wooden railing with both hands, gripping it as if it were Forsythe's skinny neck. His thoughts were a furious jumble.
He didn't know what made him more angrier-Forsythe insulting his status as an apprentice, insulting his intelligence, or...or insulting him by suggesting that he wasn't...wasn't good enough for Felicity.
Not good enough for Felicity.
And why the hell in God's country wasn't he good enough for Felicity Merriman? Who knew her better? Who shared her deepest secrets and dwelt with her family and knew each and every one of her quirks and habits? Right, he was as shopkeeper's apprentice, because his father and Mr. Merriman were friends, and his father set up the arrangement. He came from a wealthy family, a fact that Ben Davidson never wanted to flaunt, because he wanted to be admired for being himself, or work that he did, for being a staunch Patriot, never because his family had money. Felicity knew he came from a wealthy family, and she didn't care. She wouldn't care if he had come from a family of dirt famers. He knew that they'd be friends no matter what.
Not good enough for Felicity.
"Ben?" Mr. Merriman stepped out on the porch, peering curiously at his stewing apprentice, who straightened immediately.
"I'm sorry, sir, I just needed a moment, I...I'm sorry," he babbled with a flush.
Mr. Merriman wasn't the least bit angry. He put a hand on Ben's shoulder. "Forsythe make you mad?"
"Aye, sir," Ben sighed, relieved. "And you've always told me to never handle a customer with anger, no matter how hot-headed they are. 'Tis better to step away."
"That's right, Ben. You did well. Marcus is handling things at the moment...so tell me, what did Forsythe say to rile you?" As if I had to ask, Mr. Merriman thought, smiling patiently yet again.
How could he put it? Ben looked frustrated, shaking his head. "He-He's obsessed with Felicity, sir," he grumbled. "The way he thinks he's superior to everybody else, and that no matter how many times you tell him no, he keeps pushing. I don't think anyone in his family has ever told him 'no!'
Mr. Merriman nodded. "It seems that way, doesn't it? But I believe he'll leave Lissie alone once he gets used to the notion that she is unavailable to him." He rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. "I suppose I'll have my hands full of eager lads once she does turn sixteen. But, look at me, I'm a doting father-of course I'd say that."
Ben smiled.
"All the same, don't let him get to you, Ben. Just watch out for him like you have been, okay?"
"Yes, sir." Ben's resolve became firmer than ever. As he followed Mr. Merriman back into the store, the phrase eager lads bothered him however. There would probably be many hopeful suitors vying for Felicity's attention by then. Forsythe was already attempting to. Something within Ben Davidson burned with...jelousy? Jelous of young men who would dare try to court Felicity?
Jealous of Forsythe?
It seemed so. The burning anger had a name now, and it was jealously. It was very consuming, too. For the rest of the day he would dwell upon it and Forsythe's taunting words. He would attempt to sort out the persistent, roiling emotions that plagued him wherever Felicity was concerned. When he went to fetch her at Mr. Haverty's, he was unusually quiet as she went on about riding Brutus and how she intended to start introducing the big horse to parts of the harness tomorrow.
But he heard none of it, really. He was too busy mulling things over in his head.
Not good enough for Felicity.
He brooded angrily. Like hell he wasn't.
CHAPTER FINISHED
