Happy watched you leave before turning to Juice, who was frozen in place holding his cheek.

The club exchanged glances.

"What the fuck Juice?" Jax asked, breaking the silence.

Juice snapped his head up and shook his head at his brothers before he ran out the door after you.

You hadn't stopped running and tears streamed down your face as your feet hit the pavement.

Just keep going. You just had to keep going. Maybe then this nightmare would disappear.

You heard your name being shouted but you kept going, your mind racing. Juice was here. In Charming. Jesus Christ. Your mind went to Leo and you ran faster. What were you going to do? You were just at his clubhouse. Shit, you'd just had your tongue down his brothers throat.

He didn't even know Leo existed. How was he gonna react?

He was here.

You turned the corner and leaned against a tree, holding your hand to your chest as you tried to catch your breath. You looked up at the sky. How were you going to fix this?

He was the ghost that haunted your dreams for so many nights now. You had dreamt for so long that you would see him again but you never truly believed it was possible.

And now here, in the middle of your new life, he just walked back in.

All the heartbreak, the memories, everything you had been trying to forget, all the pain you had left behind you in Queens had escaped.

It hit you like a slap in the face and you were overcome with emotion.

He had been your home, you had built your whole life around him and when he left he took everything. He took your love and your light, he left you homeless and broken, surrounded by the walls of the empty house you once shared.

It was a miracle you'd made it out alive and the only thing that kept you going was your son.

Your son that he knew nothing about.

Fuck.

Fuck, he looked so happy.

How dare he abandon you like that, leave you crying on the floor and destroy your idea of love and run away.

And be happy.

You had been broken for years and here he was, in California building a new life and forgetting all about the girl he had destroyed back home.

Juice ran faster, determined to catch up to you. He turned the corner and saw you leaning against a tree, still as beautiful as the day he'd left, despite the tear stains down your cheeks. He slowed his pace and walked up to you slowly.

You turned your head and saw Juice looking at you.

"Juan.. What the fuck?" You cried as tears began falling down your cheeks again.

He walked closer to you and wrapped his arms around you. He smelt like leather and weed and you sobbed into his chest, clutching the leather kutte.

He stroked your hair as his own tears fell.

"Let me explain, please (y/n)"

You pulled back and looked into the brown eyes that had haunted your dreams for the last four years.

"You left me" you whispered.

Tears ran down his cheeks as he nodded.

"Please (y/n) let me explain to you"

You let go of his leather and stepped back, nodding slowly.

SAMCRO

Happy sat at the bar, tossing another shot down his throat.

"Who is she?" Tig asked no one in particular.

Happy said nothing as he poured another shot.

Tara cleared her throat.

"(Y/n) (y/l/n), she just moved here from New York"

"Queens?" Jax asked

Tara nodded, looking at her old man.

"Ah shit" Chibs spoke, all heads turned to him.

"Juicy boy told me about a her once. He loved her but he left once he got into trouble with that club. I didn't know it was the lass from the hospital" he said as he too took a shot.

"Shit. She's the one in his wallet. I thought she looked familiar" said Jax.

He'd seen a photo of you in Juices wallet a year ago. He had asked Juice about it and he had smiled sadly and said it was his old lady. That was the first and the last time he'd ever spoken about her.

Happy stood up and stormed to his dorm, all the brothers watched as he slammed the door.

With shaking hands you opened the door to your home.

Leo was still at Tara's with the sitter and you hadn't known where else to bring Juan to talk.

You stepped inside and Juice followed you, his eyes watching you carefully.

You sat on the sofa and stared ahead, not allowing yourself to look at him.

Thank god some of his OCD had rubbed off on you in the past, none of Leo's toys were around and you said a silent thank you to yourself. That was one conversation you weren't ready to have yet.

Not that you were even ready for this one.

Juice sat on the sofa next to you, he reached out and grabbed your hand.

Part of you wanted to yank your hand away. How dare he touch you, after all these years.

But another part of you, a much bigger part craved the affection.

God you had been in love with him for so long now that you had to fight the urge to forget everything that had happened and live happily ever after.

But it wasn't that simple.

It never was.

You turned your body towards him and met his gaze.

"(Y/n).. I.. I'm sorry. Look the day I got out, I got out early because I made a deal. The club I was working for found out. They were going to come after me. I had to protect you"

"Protect me? Protect me!" You shouted, standing up. "You broke my heart Juan! You left me crying on the floor! How was that protecting me?"

Juice stood up to "It was the only way (y/n) , they would have come after you too, they would have killed you" he said raising his voice.

"Did they kill you, Juan?! Huh? No! You look pretty fucking alive to me."

"They wouldn't have killed me Juan, YOU killed me! Do you have any idea how it felt when you walked out on me? To hear you say that you didn't love me? Fuck Juan did you ever love me?" You shouted, tears falling again as you paced across the living room.

He nodded "Bubba I have loved you since the day I met you. I have!" He shouted when you started to protest "I loved you that night at that party and I loved you the day I left. I still fucking love you (y/n), I never stopped"

Sobs took over your body and Juice walked over to you, taking you into his arms.

You let him wrap his arms around you.

"I love you (y/n). I'm sorry I left you, I won't ever leave you again" he whispered.

You looked up at him, your eyes red and puffy.

He had no idea just how bad things had been when he left. He had no idea that he didn't just leave you, he left your unborn child. He had no idea that his son even existed.

You sighed. It was now or never.

"Juan, when you left-"

"(Y/n) please" he interrupted you.

"No Juan Carlos, listen to me." You gulped and reached up to touch his face.

"When you left, I was pregnant"

Happy sat on his begin is dorm room staring at the ceiling.

You were with Juice?

Jealousy burned within him.

He had never met anyone like you, you were so captivating. You seemed to light up a room and you were so goddamn beautiful. He couldn't get your eyes out of his mind as he stared at his hands. The hands that had hurt so many people, the hands that had taken lives, the hands that belonged to a killer.

You wouldn't want to be with him anyway, the things he'd done..

You deserved better.

He sighed standing up and heading to the bathroom.

Juice stared at you.

His face blank and unreadable.

"You were pregnant?" He asked, his voice cracking.

You gulped and nodded. Shit, maybe you shouldn't have told him.

"(Y/n) I-"

"No it's okay Juan. You didn't ask for this, I just thought you had the right to know. Look il find another job, we can be out of your life soon"

"I have a kid?" He whispered still staring at you.

"You have a son" you smiled at him softly.

"Juan it's okay, you didn't know. We will leave. We'll go back to Queens. We-"

"I have a son" Juice whispered.

You met his gaze.

A smile began to spread on his face.

"I have a son?!" He said again.

You watched his face change. He wasn't angry. Why wasn't he angry?

"Bubba if I'd known, I never would have left you"

"But you did Juan. Maybe that's my fault. Maybe I should have told you that day. Maybe not. The point is you did leave. But this isn't just about you and me anymore. I need to put him first" you said, squeezing his hand.

"I want to meet him. If that's okay" he murmured softly.

"Uh yeah of course" you replied, clearing your throat nervously.

You didn't expect that he would want to meet him. You had shown Leo photos of Juice before, he knew who his father was but you never thought you would actually have to introduce them one day. You never thought you'd see Juice again, yet here you were.

"I'm so sorry" Juan said as he pulled you into him.

You sighed. You were too tired to argue with him again. You were still hurt, of course you were. Nothing he said could change that. But you had to think of Leo, he had a right to know his father. You couldn't stand in the way of that.

"Juan, you can meet him. But I need to know.. If you want to be a part of his life you can't leave again. You can't walk out on him. I know this is a lot to take in but I need to know that you want this. That you really want this. I won't let you leave him like you left me. If your going to be in his life you need to be a constant" you said to him, looking into his eyes.

"(Y/n) I will do anything for him. Please, let me meet my son"

You nodded and smiled at him.

"He's at Tara's with the nanny. I.. I can go pick him up if you want to meet him now?"

Juice nodded and grinned at you.

God how you'd missed that smile.

"What about us?" He whispered.

"This isn't about us anymore Juan. This is about Leo"

"Leo?" Juice smiled at you.

You smiled back. "Leonardo Luciano Ortiz"

His smile grew wide as he head his sons full name.

"Your mom helped me name him. You should call her Juan, she misses you"

"You've been hanging with my mom?!" Juice asked, his eyes wide.

You laughed as you stood and grabbed your keys.

"Yes Juan, and she's shown me aaall your naked baby photos" you smirked at him as you reached for the door, laughing at the blush on his face. "I'm gonna go get Leo. Wait here"

Your mind raced as you drove to Tara's.

Were you making a mistake?

Maybe you should just get grab Leo and drive back to Queens.

He had left you, maybe now it was your turn.

No.

No, Juan deserved to know his son, and Leo deserved a father.

You were a great mother, loving and devoted. You would do anything for your son but it had taken a toll on you trying to play the role of a father too.

You sighed as you opened the window, welcoming the cold fresh air as it filled the car.

What a night!

You'd never expected to see Juan at the club, you'd only gone to see Happy.

Shit!

Happy!

You felt awful. You had really liked the guy and had enjoyed the short time you'd spent with him. He made you feel safe. Maybe in a different world, maybe at a different time, you could have really tried with him.

But not now, it was never going to happen. Juan owned your heart. He always had. With him back in the picture, no one else stood a chance. Not that he was gonna get you back easy, no way.

You pulled into Tara's driveway and turned off your car.

You got out, shutting the car door before walking up and knocking lightly.

The nanny you'd met earlier answered and let you in.

"Mommy!" Leo shouted and ran towards you.

"Hello mi vida" you smiled at him and pulled him into your arms, kissing his cheeks and sitting him on your hip. "Say goodbye to Abel baby"

"Bye Abel baby!" Leo called out, making you laugh.

You said your goodbye to the nanny and walked out, loading Leo into his car seat.

You sat in your seat and started the car.

"Did you have a good night?" You asked him.

"I did mommy. Abel has cool toys"

"I bet he does. Mommy has a surprise for you at home." You said, suddenly nervous.

"For me?! Ooh I hope it's a horse!"

You laughed.

"A horse Leonardo? Where are you gonna keep a horse?"

"In my wardrobe mom" He said, as if it was obvious.

"Leo do you remember when I told you about your daddy?" You asked.

"You love daddy" he told you. You nodded and smiled softly.

"I do baby. Your daddy is at home and he wants to meet you," you told him, looking at him in the mirror.

His face lit up and he smiled the same smile Juice had.

"Daddy?!"

"Yeah baby. Your daddy"

Juice sat nervously on your couch. He heard your car pull up and he stood. His hands were shaking.

He had a son?!

He couldn't believe it.

You opened the door and stepped inside, closing it softly as you held Leo to your hip. You walked into the lounge and saw Juice standing there nervously. He had put all your remotes in order and moved all your cushions so they were lined perfectly with the couch.

The stack of magazine that had been strewn across your coffee table now sat in a neat pile. He was definitely nervous.

"Leo," you spoke softly to your son, who had suddenly turned shy and tucked himself into your neck. "Leo this is your father, Juan"

You felt him shift in your arms and he looked at Juice.

Juice looked at the little boy in your arms. '

He looked at his big brown eyes and his dark curls.

"Hey little man," he said as he stepped closer, looking at you for reassurance before he reached his arms out, holding Leo's back softly.

You nodded and shifted Leo on your hip so he could see his father properly.

"Hi" Leo squeaked quietly.

You smiled.

In the short time that your son had been on this earth one thing he had never been was shy.

You grabbed Juices hand and led him to the couch, where you both sat down and you placed Leo between you.

Leo looked up at you and you smiled at him, encouraging him.

He turned and looked at Juice.

You watched Juice as he studied your son.

"You're my dad" Leo said.

You both laughed.

"Yeah little man, I'm your dad" Juice said, beaming.

"Mommy loves you" Leo told him.

You blushed as you felt Juices eyes on you, smiling widely.

"I love your mommy" Juice told him, his eyes never leaving your face.

"I've missed you daddy" Leo said as he moved into Juices lap and wrapped his little arms around his neck.

Tears formed in your eyes as you met Juices gaze.

"Yeah, I've missed you too Leo"