Author's Note: Okay, I haven't had a lot of time to re-read this part, so it might be a little weird. Thanks a lot for all the reviews.

Disclaimer: Let me think…nope, I don't think they're mine.



1 Part Four: Commitment Phobia

Rory awoke with a start on Sunday morning. She had been in the midst of an awful dream. In the dream, Dean had stumbled on her kissing Jess, resulting in a fight for the ages in which he broke up with her. Groggily, Rory vaguely put the events of Saturday night together, putting bits and pieces in a jagged sequence. In a flood of memories, she remembered it all, and it hadn't been a dream. She groaned and buried her head in her pillow.

By smelling the fibers of her pillow, she tried to recapture the delusion that it was a dream, but nothing came. Her mind was whirring, and she was recalling everything. The feel of Jess' lips on hers, tender and oddly sweet. The look on Dean's face, enraged and betrayed. The sound of Luke's door as it crashed into its frame after her, the twinge of regret that followed. The harsh words exchanged between her and Dean. The yelling, the tears, the sound of him breaking up with her: "I can't be with you—won't be with you—if I can't trust you!"

Frustrated with her attempts at recreating dreamland, Rory impelled herself out of bed and into the kitchen. She briefly weighed going to Luke's for coffee, but several parts of her brain reminded her that it wasn't a wise idea. With an efficient routine, Rory moved about the kitchen and brewed some coffee. Instinctively, she put a Pop-Tart in the toaster before remembering that she wasn't making her mother breakfast. At last, she plopped in a chair dejectedly and munched on the pastry.

How she wished she hadn't done that. It wasn't that she was exactly depressed over her and Dean's inevitable breakup, she just regretted the circumstances. The breakup was bound to happen, she knew. But like this? With her the culprit? It made her head spin. Where had her formerly loyal conscience gone?

And Jess. What would she do about Jess? It would be awkward whenever she went into Luke's now. She would starve, perish from a lack of steady beef and fries. Rory plunked her head in her hands in defeat. She noted to herself that she should never listen to Jess' advice. Her impulses had gotten her nowhere today.

Someone jiggled the back knob, then knocked upon finding it locked. Curious, Rory rose from her chair and opened the door. "Lane," she said, breathing a sigh of utter relief.

"Hi," Lane returned, gently pushing past Rory.

"Bible group?"

"Yeah. I can't wait to see what color they've come up with for matchbook Bibles this week."

"Maybe a nice cream color."

"You're two weeks behind the trends."

"Just goes to show that uniforms don't lend insight into the color scheme of society."

"What?" Lane asked, baffled.

"I don't know," Rory moaned. "God."

"What? What happened?"

"You didn't hear?"

"No…"

"Have you been in town at all this morning? What time is it?"

Lane glanced at her watch. "No. Ten."

"Dean and I broke up."

"I thought you were anticipating this."

"It gets worse."

"Oh?"

Rory sighed. "Don't tell Lorelai. I'll tell her when the time's right."

"Okay…"

"I kissed Jess."

"What!"

"Yeah. In Luke's. Dean was looking in the window, and he saw us, and we had this big fight and broke up."

Lane sat down to digest this information. "You kissed Jess?"

"Yeah," Rory admitted. She was met with a blank stare. "What?"

Lane looked nonplussed. "You just don't do stuff like that."

"I know." Rory massaged her temples with her fingers. She and Lane sat in a quietus, Lane's incredulous, Rory's miserable.

"I can't believe it. Jess?"

"What's wrong with Jess?"

"Rory, he's just so…Jess." Lane gesticulated wildly, but couldn't find the right word or hand gesture.

"Why is everybody so opposed to him?"

"Look, I know you two are chummy, but you have to admit that he hasn't exactly made an effort to fit in or make friends."

"He doesn't need friends. He's all right by himself."

Lane shook her head. "Everybody needs friends. My mother has friends. Granted, they talk about the Bible and the scandalous behavior of Stars' Hollow's citizens, but…she has friends. And she is the least agreeable person on this planet."

Rory just sighed heavily. Lane sympathetically stroked Rory's hair. "Why did I do it?"

"I think you ought to ask your Last Night Self that question."

"Am I bi-polar?"

"Possibly."

"Maybe schizophrenic. Although there have been a suspicious lack of voices inside my head."

"You could have used them last night."

"God."

Another silence descended on them, and they rode it out in camaraderie. "So…"

"So what?" Rory asked.

"Was it good?"

"Was what good?"

"The kiss!"

Rory bit her lip. "Yeah."

"Better than Dean."

"By a long-shot." Rory grinned despite herself.

Lane giggled. "I'm just glad you're not as depressed as last time. But you do realize that when this gets around town…"

"It'll be the next Meg Ryan and Russell Crowe. Yeah, I know."

With another flick of the wrist, Lane assessed her watch. "I gotta get back. It was a short meeting last week, and I just barely made it back."

"Okay. Don't spread any rumors, huh?"

"Only the good ones." Lane waved over her shoulder and let herself out the back door.

Having finished her breakfast, Rory wandered into the living room. Even though her brain was overloaded, Rory chose to finish her novel; she would probably have to read it at some point in British Literature next year, so she might as well get a head start. Claiming an end of the sofa, Rory snuggled up with The Lord of the Flies.

*

Lorelai swung the door of Sookie's banged-up car shut after herself and jogged up the porch steps. "I'm home," she announced loudly upon entering. Her duffel bag was discarded about ten feet from the door. She shed her sunglasses inches later, and her shoes were subjected to the same fate at the bottom of the stairs. "Hey, kid," she said, continuing on to the couch.

"Hi, Mom. Good weekend?"

"Those New Yorkers sure are crazy."

"I'm sure they thought the same thing about you."

Lorelai shook her head vehemently. "No, no. This man in a coffee shop was trying to convince me that a triple-shot of caffeine was enough. And I was like, 'Um, no, dude. That's for the minor leaguers.' And he was all, 'Well, miss, this is the strongest coffee we make.' And I was like, 'Well, you should rethink that.' And he went, 'No customer will buy that crap!' And I said—"

"Okay, I get the idea," Rory interrupted, laughing. "So, did you go to Luke's on your way back into town?" she queried anxiously.

"No. I was waiting to take you, silly." Lorelai captured her daughter's hand in her own. "Come on, lazy!"

"Mom, no." Rory struggled to regain ownership of her hand. "No."

"Why not? Don't you start denying me caffeine."

"It's not that." Rory sat down, and nodded for her mother to do the same. Brows drawn, Lorelai seated herself next to her daughter. "Um…"

"Did something happen?"

"Yeah. Well. Uh…IkissedJesslastnight," Rory spat out.

"Huh?"

"Yeah."

"You…kissed Jess? You kissed him or he kissed you?"

"I kissed him."

"Why?" Lorelai asked incredulously. "Wh…?"

"I don't know. It just happened. And Dean was walking by and he saw us and we broke up." Rory let herself take a breath.

Lorelai looked vaguely angry. "Why would you kiss him?"

"I told you, I don't know! It was just the moment or something."

"Why were you at Luke's?"

Rory gave her mother a funny look. "Why do you think I was at Luke's?"

"Well, did you go there to eat, or to see Jess?"

Rory huffed. "I…" she faltered. Did she dare tell her mother the real reason? "I spent the day with him in Hartford."

Silence.

Silence.

More silence.

"Oh," Lorelai finally said. "Oh." Slowly, she got up and walked into the kitchen. Rory heard water running in the sink and followed.

"Mom?"

"You spent the day with that guy?"

"Yeah."

"I can't believe it!"

"It was totally innocent! We browsed through a CD shop, saw a movie, had coffee. That was it."

"I don't like him!"

"I heard!" Rory crossed her arms and frowned deeply.

"I can't understand why you—you of all people—would do something like this." Lorelai shook her head, vigorously scrubbing a water glass. "I mean, me, yeah, but you, no."

"I was just having fun."

"With Jess."

"Yeah."

Lorelai sighed raggedly. "I never thought I'd have to do this with you."

"Then don't. Mom, we didn't do anything wrong."

"Rory…"

"I don't know why you're so mad about this. I mean, I know you don't like him. But nothing happened. It was my choice to kiss him. It was my boyfriend that broke up with me."

Lorelai sat at the table. "I know, honey. I'm sorry. It's just…it's not like you, and I'm afraid that Jess caused that change."

"Need I remind you that I kissed Tristan?"

"Not just the kiss. And you were broken up then, remember? But spending the day in Hartford and not telling Dean, or not being with Dean."

"Mom, Dean and I changed. We used to be equal and interested in the same stuff, but now it's—it hadn't been—like it used to."

Lorelai smiled wanly at her daughter. "You're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"I'm sorry again. I don't want you to be corrupted by Jess, or to turn into me. The world's biggest commitment-phoebe."

"I won't. I was with Dean for a long time, though."

"True." Lorelai smiled genuinely, if a bit sadly, at her daughter. "So I guess Luke's is out, huh?"

"For today, at least. I don't know what to say."

"Well, how did the kiss transpire?"

Rory blushed. "I just sort of…grabbed him."

Lorelai chuckled. "Now that was certainly very forward of you, missy. I expect much more decorous behavior from you."

Rory giggled in return. "I don't know what came over me."

"I'll go to Luke's," Lorelai offered. "I'll get some coffee and food to go. You won't have to face the townspeople or Jess or anyone."

"Nice. But I doubt whether there will be any coffee left when you get here."

"Now then." Lorelai started backtracking to the door and snatched her keys off the table where Rory had left them. "I'll be back," she said dramatically.

Smiling, Rory went back to the kitchen. She felt a little drained after the fight with Lorelai. Lorelai was so sensitive about Jess, and Rory wished that she could make her mother see him the way she did. When Rory thought of him, she didn't see the causeless rebel that Lorelai did; she saw someone almost sweet, but with an edge. Swinging her head back and forth, Rory went into her room to get dressed.