I'm BACK! Even though only one person is reading this. Thank you again to MoonlightXPursuit! You rock! And the rest of you would rock if you just REVIEWED! 'I am such a review-whore. Oh, well.'
And also, I caught that in my last chapter Sokka was apparently sent two hundred years into the future, the year 2209. No one really caught that, that I know of, at least, but yeah, it's there. No one flame me for it, I'm just too lazy to go back and change it.
WARNING: This chapter is rated PG-13! Actually, PG-14.
DISCLAIMER: Don't own Avatar. I wonder what would happen if I said I did own it...
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Sunday, June 13, 2009, 9:15 AM
In The Stateroom-Place
TO: yuethemoonspirit at moon. com
FROM: watertribegenius at awesomeness. com
Subject: WHY DO YOU HATE ME, WHY!
I am LEAVING! I am hopping on a plane and going HOME! SCREW what my dad thinks, he can worry his ass off, I don't CARE! I need to PACK!
Actually I think I'll email you, then I'll pack.
Hmm. I never got the chance to talk to you about my fabulous dinner last night, or finish my story about the horrible Pompeii, so I'll procrastinate with that.
So Pedro brought this big umbrella to Pompeii, bright red, I don't know why, there wasn't a cloud in sight, and if the volcano started erupting again (it could actually erupt any day, it isn't dormant) it's not like an umbrella will save him. But I decided to steer clear of him early on, so the umbrella kinda showed me where he was, good for me.
So we look at a few houses, and at some point my father (who is bent on ruining my life) grabbed my arm and pulled me up front. Pedro covered his microphone with his hand and told me he thought my flower was cute.
Yes, CUTE, is exactly what I strive for. I grab my dad's translation book on the Fire Nation language (which, by the way, they DO NOT use, WILL NEVER use, and have last used it about FOUR HUNDRED YEARS AGO. All they do is speak in accents and use the language to impress stupid people) and try to look for the word moron. (Which is NOT in there, what a useless book.)
So Pompeii is actually pretty cool, even though their tour guide is a moron. You know the whole shebang, there was this huge town of people in togas, then one day the volcano exploded, and there was NADA. How terrifying. But when someone uncovered everything, they didn't find bodies, but they DID find these perfect outlines of everyone, perfectly preserved in hardened ash. So they pumped all this concrete down here, (I want to know HOW they pumped concrete through hardened ash without destroying the outlines, but my dad is completely IGNORING me, I thought the whole point of this trip was for my EDUCATION) and got perfect casts of everything. There's literal concrete people lying around, cowering in fear, it's really kinda creepy to know that's exactly where and how they died.
So we're walking along, going into a couple of houses, and we go to this one house that was HUGE, it belonged to this rich family of Vettii. I have to say, they must have been LOADED. There were a bazillion rooms, and a bunch of frescos everywhere.
Just so you know, frescos are these paintings that are painted onto wet plaster (That would be SO hard to do) so they stay there for ten zillion years. It must work pretty well, because they were painted on, got covered in spewing ash, left for like, two thousand years, uncovered, and the pictures are STILL THERE, looking perfect.
So in that house there's a bazillion little frescos of cupids, you know, the gods of love? They were doing all sorts of things, cooking, making clothes, chariot-racing, surfing on the backs of crustaceans, (You know, typical cupidesque stuff.) so I was amusing myself by counting how many cupids I could count, when I wandered into the main entry.
The fresco there was right up with Katara's Thong on my list of Ten Most Hideous Thing I Have Ever Seen.
There were two people, a male and a female, both COMPLETELY naked, the woman had ginormous breasts that were hanging down her front, because no one bothered to invent the bra. (Did you know back then it was the fashion to have small breasts?) But the GUY, he was turned away from the woman, who looked NEEDY of him, and he had this HEE-UGE, uh, I can't even say it, think about what I have, you used to make fun of it, back when we were little children and it was okay to see each other naked. And, I am NOT making this up, I would seriously have a perverted mind if I did, he was WEIGHING it on a SCALE.
My first thought: Did the Vettii family have any kids? If they did, I feel REALLY sorry for them. Not only did they have a volcano erupt all over them, they had to bring their friends home with THAT on the wall.
My second thought: EW, erase from mind, FOREVER.
My third thought: Where the flip am I?
So I was thinking I was going to run and go eat something, but then the rest of the tour group, (my father included) walked in and barricaded the door. Pedro went ON and ON and ON about these people, apparently they are the gods of fertility or something. I was just trying to block it out until they left, at which point my father was staring at the fresco.
"Dad, don't you think that's inappropriate?"
He stopped staring at the fresco, and went to staring at ME, which got me thinking about what my parents had to do to make me in the first place. Uh. Those are images I hope I never see again.
So my dad yanks me (rather violently, might I add) out of Pompeii, where we return to the ship, and where my story of DINNER apparently starts.
So, apparently, we sit with the same people for every meal. Luckily for me, everyone of the three families has a kid. So, there's Zuko, who I can tell you are going to love and he and I will be close friends. I can just TELL. He was taking the cruise with his uncle, and my father asked (insensitively) why he was taking Zuko and not his parents. His uncle responded by saying that Zuko's mom disappeared a few years ago and he thinks Zuko's dad is abusive to him, at which point Zuko gave him the glare that I give my father when I would like to remind him he named me a drunk.
So the other people, there's Aang, who has WAY too much energy, he's with his dad, who looks like, seventy, and also looks nothing like Aang, so I got a pretty good feeling Aang is adopted. The other people were the Bei Fongs , who must be SUPER rich, they LOOK like it. They bought their daughter Toph, who also brought HER best friend Teo.
I SO wish my dad let you come, it would be so much more fun. But my dad said we needed some 'manly bonding time.' I guess Teo doesn't need any manly bonding, or maybe they brought him so Toph's dad wouldn't die from being around all these females, but then they get stuck at a table with six other guys.
Her mom looked SO out of place, Toph is a TOTAL tomboy, I honestly thought she was a guy until I saw her ponytail. But her mom is a complete girly-girl, or woman, I guess. All the adults were holding their adult conversation, very politely, and all us kids were sitting there, trying not to look bored. They were trying to discuss things like money and real estate, boring things like that, but you could tell that if Toph and her mom weren't here, or me, Zuko, Aang, and Teo, for our brains are fragile when it comes to inappropriateness, it would be entirely on the subject of SEX. And drinking, and women, and whatever else grown men amuse themselves with.
Except Gyatso, (Aang's dad) he's like, a preacher or something, he kept lecturing us (me, Zuko, Toph, and Teo) on peace and all that stuff, while Aang just sat there with an expression that said 'now it's YOUR turn' on his face. I guess Gyatso's figured Aang has had ENOUGH.
Yeah, my dad thinks we should go out to whatever city we landed in and explore, so be prepared to divorce me as your best friend when I write about the party. Chow!
-Drunken Warrior
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Wow, I wrote that in one day, and it took me what, hour and a half? LOL, I am a SLOW writer.
YES, I MEANT to have Sokka say the Bei Fongs BOUGHT Toph, it's for some comedy down the road, so no one flame me for that.
Okay, so, I am taking notes like crazy so I can begin writing this epic book that erupted from a tortured dream about a demented version of Harry Potter, so soon I can begin WRITING it, which is good news for me, but bad news for the people who like my stories, because my updates will be less frequent. I thought you had the right to know.
Okay, please review, and I'll give you this brownie cookie that my mom bought yesterday, I hate them, but everyone else loves them! Bye!
