"Victor Charlie Charlie calling mobile 2," DJ's voice interrupted the silence that had fallen upon Geoff and Kate. Both were lost their own private thoughts, not knowing what to say to each other. Kate suppressed the urge to run away from Geoff as fast as she could. Though the sun was rising slowly, it was way too dangerous to run wild into the outback. And besides, she was still feeling very cold. She silently begged Emma to get to them as soon as possible. Anything to get away from there.
As soon as she heard DJ's voice, she got up and ran to the car. Geoff turned and stared at her disappearing back. Why was she so scared? He was a normal guy, right? Not some creepy womaniser. Not a George Baxter, he thought. He would do anything for her, why couldn't she see that? And if she did see it, then why couldn't she accept it, enjoy it? He knew she had feelings for him, especially after last night. He wanted nothing more than give in to his feelings for Kate. Spend time with her, kiss her, and, yes, make love to her, he admitted to himself. He longed for her. He closed his eyes and waited for Kate to return.
"Good morning DJ!" Kate tried to be cheery, but she felt hopeless.
"Katie!" DJ had never heard of getting up on the wrong side of the bed. Any side would do, if it was up to him.
"How are you guys doing? Did you sleep well? Must have been nice and warm and cosy," he hinted.
"Shut up DJ," Kate interrupted him. "I am freezing to death and I am hungry. When will Emma be here?"
"Eh, right," DJ hesitated. He hated bad news. "Katie, Emma won't be arriving for a while. She and Sam have had some trouble at the property. Some sheep escaped and you know who would be interested in some extra, unmarked sheep…"
"George Baxter." Kate sighed. "So when will she be here?"
"She won't."
"What?" Kate screamed, so loud even Geoff could hear it. He got up and slowly walked to the car. What was happening?
"What do you mean she's not coming?" Kate demanded to know. "We have been out here all night! I need a shower and a nice warm bed. And lots of food," she added.
"We are sending Jack to pick you up," DJ explained. "Close the car, bring in the keys and Emma will tow it back into the Crossing first thing tomorrow."
"Great," Kate muttered. "And when do you think Jack will be here?"
"I don't know Katie," DJ joked, "after all he is our local copper, so he'll probably take the speeding limits into account. And who knows what he'll come across with 'till he gets there."
"Come on DJ," Kate was becoming impatient now. "Don't mess with me, when will he be here?"
"All right, all right, hold your horses! I think his ETA is 10 am."
"What? That means we have to wait for more than 5 hours!"
"Look, Kate, it's the best I can do, OK?" Now DJ was becoming impatient as well.
"Yeah, all right. We'll just wait till he gets here. Bye DJ, mobile 2, out."
Kate closed the door of the car and leaned against it.
"Great," she sighed. "That's all we need."
"What's wrong?" Geoff asked, walking towards her.
"Emma's not coming and Jack won't be here till 10."
"What? Do we have to wait that long?" Geoff sounded like he could not wait to be away from Kate.
"Hey, don't act like it's my fault, I am not enjoying this either," Kate protested.
"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry," Geoff stared at his feet. Then he looked up.
"So, what do we do now?" He asked Kate.
"I haven't got the slightest idea, so if you have any suggestions, be my guest," Kate snapped.
Geoff could think of many things to do during the time they had to wait for Jack, but he did not dare suggest any of them. He knew Kate would not be amused by them.
The sun was rising and so was the temperature. It was not very warm yet, but Kate could tell it would be another hot day. Fortunately, with a bit of luck, they would be back in the Crossing by noon. She walked to the back of the car and checked their supplies. There were two and a half bottles of water left. Not many, considering the expected heat, but it would have to do. She checked the box for any food, but there was only half the pack of crisp bread they opened the night before. Not exactly the nice hot breakfast she longed for. Defeated, she grabbed the pack of crisp bread and one of the water bottles. She walked back to the front of the car, where Geoff was still waiting.
"Do you want to come and sit by the fire while it's still burning? I also have some breakfast for you. Not much, but I suppose it's better than nothing at all."
"All right." Geoff followed Kate to the fire, where their blankets were piled up the way the left them earlier. Kate sat down, unfolded her blanket and put it around her shoulders.
Geoff followed her example, disappointed there would be no recurrence of the way they lay together earlier.
Kate handed him a piece of crisp bread. "There you go. It's not exactly Nancy's hot breakfast, but maybe she'll make some for you for lunch."
Geoff smiled and took the food. "I hope so! I would love some scrambled eggs and sausages!"
"Don't say it out loud!" Kate warned him. "It will only make you hungrier!"
Geoff laughed out loud, knowing he was hungry anyway, but not for food. "I think we will be fine! As long as Jack does arrive at 10!"
Kate smiled and fell onto her back, staring at the strange colours appearing in the sky. Normally, she would be in bed at this time of day. She thought about Geoff. He was a nice bloke. Why couldn't she just go with the flow and see where their relationship would take her? She had another bite of crisp bread.
Geoff sat next to her, eating his breakfast. He looked at her, wondering what she was thinking. He could tell she was thinking about him, and he feared he knew in which direction her thoughts were heading. The wrong direction, if it was up to him. Knowing Kate for a while now, he knew she was backing out once again. Every time they seemed to get closer, she got the jitters and backed out. If only he knew how he could change that routine of hers. If only he knew how. He sighed.
"What's the matter?" Kate asked, dreading for his answer. She took another bite of her crisp bread, pretending she wasn't the least interested in his reply.
"Nothing."
He was just not up to this at the moment. He was hungry and still cold.
"Let's just wait till Jack gets here,' he added.
"There's not much we can do," Kate concluded. She was still feeling cold.
"Are you still cold?" she asked.
Geoff looked at her, wrapped in her blanket.
"Yes, I'm still freezing," he admitted.
"Then come and lie next to me," Kate invited him. "You can keep me warm…" she giggled. She desperately wanted to push away her insecurity and enjoy his company.
"Are you sure?" Geoff asked, not quite sure how to read her mixed signals.
"Yes," Kate admitted. "I just want you to know it's my stupid insecurity that's holding me back. I really want to be with you, but I just don't know how.."
She sighed and opened her blanket, so he could lie next to her. Geoff sat down and put his blanket around them. He wrapped is arm around her and Kate put her head on his shoulder and her arm around his waist. She felt his warmth and revelled in it.
"Why are you feeling insecure?" he asked her. "I already told you have no intentions to go back to the city."
"I know that, I just can't help it." She hesitated. "I….I'm just not a person who jumps into relationships easily."
Geoff grinned. "Really? Who'd have thought!" he joked.
"It's not funny Geoff," she protested. "I'm serious. I know you think I exaggerate the reputation thing, but I'm the one who has to suffer all the gossip. They'll want to pat you on the back!"
"Yeah, I'm sorry, maybe you are right." He stared at the sky.
"It's just that…," Kate hesitated again, unsure whether she should tell Geoff how she felt. "It's not how I imagined it."
"Imagined what?" Geoff did not have a clue what she was talking about.
"You know," Kate added, "life.."
"What are we talking about?" Geoff was completely lost by now.
Kate just could not tell him.
"Look, let's just drop it," she backed out.
"No, I don't just want to drop it," Geoff protested. "I want to get things out in the open once and for all."
"Well, I don't wanna talk about it," Kate stubbornly turned away from him. She got up and walked away from him, dragging her blanket along. She had wanted to tell him that she had always imagined getting married to the man she loved, instead of just moving in with him. She had been brought up in an old fashioned way, and just living together did not appeal to her. She wanted to marry the man she loved, start a family together and live happily ever after. But somehow Geoff Standish did not seem to fit in this picture. Though he had gotten used to the outback way of living, and even started enjoying it, he was unlike any other man Kate knew. And even though he had assured her he would not return to the big city anytime soon, she was not sure he would like to spend the rest of his life in a small town like Coopers Crossing. Also, Kate felt embarrassed bringing up the subject of marriage. She had no reason to believe Geoff would ever want to settle down, let alone getting married for the second time. After all, he had once told her he was not ready to commit to anyone again. As far as she knew, he had not changed his mind on that subject.
She shivered and put the blanket around her shoulders. She just stood there, staring at the beautiful colours of the sunrise, her back turned to Geoff.
She knew she loved him. But she was not sure how he felt about her. Of course, he had assured her she was the most wonderful person he ever met, but to Kate, that did not match loving another person. She desperately wanted to believe him, to be near him and yes, to touch him, but her mind just was not ready to surrender to her emotions. She hated herself for it, but could not prevent her reason taking over from her feelings. It was no use chasing rainbows.
Geoff sat on the cold desert soil, the cool morning air chasing away all warmth that had been there. His eyes followed Kate, walking away from him, until she stood still, about 50 meters away from him. She was a dark silhouette against the orange, yellow and pink colours of the rising morning sun.
He knew what was coming: Kate was cutting herself off again. Suddenly she was in a foul mood and turned away from him. He could tell by her headstrong attitude that the intimate atmosphere that had been there only moments ago, would not return anytime soon. He just could not understand her: one moment they were sharing their most intimate thoughts and feelings, and the next they were fighting again. And it was not the first time this happened either. It seemed to turn out more like a pattern of behaviour for them.
He felt angry with her. Why would she change her mind every time their relationship seemed to improve? They would enjoy each other's company, become closer and right at the moment Geoff expected their relationship to move on to the next level, Kate would back out, like she suddenly realized who she was actually getting closer to.
Geoff was sick and tired of this stupid game. He knew she was attracted to him, just like he was attracted to her. He could still remember the passionate kisses they had shared, like it had been yesterday. He wanted to kiss her again. He wanted her. He loved her. Why couldn't she tell? Why would she walk away every time?
He got up, wrapped his cold blanket around him and walked up to Kate. He stood next to her, staring at the same gorgeous sunrise.
"What's wrong?" he asked her.
"Nothing," she snapped.
Geoff got impatient, but tried to control his temper. Another fight would not make it any better.
"Well, if nothing's wrong, we would be there, lying together nice and warm, kissing each other," he pointed to where they had been only ten minutes ago.
"Sure, just an innocent pastime, right?" she sarcastically remarked.
"Is that how you feel about it?" Geoff asked. "It means a lot more to me…"
"Why, what do you mean?" Kate asked, hesitantly. She turned her face and looked at him. Geoff didn't look back at her. He felt too vulnerable.
"It means everything to me," he timidly replied. "Those kisses we shared in the past…I can still recall those moments like it was yesterday."
Kate did not say a word. She could not forget those kisses either. She had wanted to rip the clothing from his body at those times. Though she had not given in to her desires, she still felt embarrassed by her thoughts of Geoff and her, sharing intimacies she had not shared with anyone in a very long time.
"I love you Kate," Geoff said, still avoiding her eyes.
