Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. If I did, the entire show would be told through Mercedes' point of view.

Please forgive any mistakes.

Twinnie, thank you, always. :)


After that morning's near kiss incident, Mercedes knew she had to deal with Sam. Shane hadn't been completely fooled and, as soon as they rounded the corner in the hallway out of Sam's range of sight, he started in on the questions. She could only offer him weak reassurances, however, as she was entirely sure what would have happened if Shane hadn't walked up at that moment. Shane had let it go for the moment, but she could tell he was still suspicious.

His kiss and hug goodbye had been possessively aggressive and Mercedes had had to concentrate on melting into him rather than pushing him off. The guilt was eating at her more than ever. She knew she had to find a way to deal with all of the feelings Sam was stirring.

By the time she left her last class to head to Glee, she'd decided that the best way to deal with what she felt for Sam was to avoid interaction with him altogether. Problem solved. She wouldn't sit next to him, talk to him, or even look at him. It'd be out of sight, out of mind, just like in the summer, except for those two… or four weeks she'd spent bawling over him when he moved.

She chose to ignore the voice that said she'd never really succeeded in getting him off her mind, just pushed him to the side in an attempt to stop feeling so empty.

She knew she couldn't keep up with this plan forever but figured it would buy her a little space and time until she could figure out something more permanent.

Mercedes arrived to Glee club early, having rushed out of her last class and making a beeline to the choir room. Her meddling friends wouldn't get her today. She had a plan to put into action. When she walked in, only Finn and Puck were in the room as they had the period before this one free. Mercedes triumphantly placed herself in the seat between them in the front row, saying, 'Hey guys.'

Finn smiled and said, "Hey 'Cedes," while Puck, inappropriate as ever, responded with a smirk and a, "Hey, Sexy Mama," before unabashedly raking his eyes over the snug fitting top she wore.

She playfully shoved Puck's face away, saying, "My eyes are up here, you perv."

"Oh, I know, but my eyes are fine with their current view," Puck responded, waggling his eyebrows at her. She shoved him away again, harder this time, before crossing her arms over her chest.

She heard Finn chuckle beside her and closed her eyes, a tiny smile gracing her lips, as she shook her head. Why did she think sitting next to these two was a good idea again?

As if on cue, Sam walked in to the choir room and stopped short. She was already breaking her own rule book as she watched his reaction to her current seating arrangement. He was clearly put out if his pout was any indication.

Puck chose that moment to lean over and kiss her cheek. "You can relax," he said to her, pulling at her crossed arms. "I won't apologize for appreciating your assets, especially when they are so finely displayed, but I promise to behave." Mercedes swatted his hands away.

She saw Sam's jaw tighten as he stalked to the second row and sat directly behind her, glaring at Puck as he passed. Puck only shrugged, not looking at all sorry, and started a conversation with Finn about a video game.

Mercedes could practically feel Sam staring holes into the back of her head but her plan was in effect. She wasn't going to turn around and acknowledge him, or his puppy dog eyes, or his perfect pouty lips - or the fact that'd she'd almost kissed them this morning.

She gripped the sides of her chair as her mind replayed the scene from this morning, feeling her cheeks burn as she flushed. She'd been replaying it all day, in fact. She quickly tamped it down again with her mantra, however. She couldn't allow herself to get lost in that daydream.

For the rest of the meeting, Mercedes dredged up the most unaffected manner she could muster and directed it at Sam. She didn't so much as glance at him, keeping her head down as he performed and interacting with everyone but him when she sang.

There were no cute smiles exchanged or flirty moments. There was nothing that could be misconstrued as 'encouragement', as Shane had accused when he confronted her earlier. That morning, she hadn't been careful and she'd nearly gotten caught up again. It wouldn't happen again. She'd keep her distance and her self-control along with it.

After the meeting, Mercedes quickly shouted that she'd see everyone tomorrow before jetting quickly out the door.

"'Cede, wait up!" As soon as she heard Sam's voice, she took off at a sprint for her car as fast as her little legs would carry her.

"Mercedes, what the hell? What are you doing? Come on!" She didn't look back to see if he continued to chase her as she finally made it to the front doors of the building and practically flew down the steps. She breathed a sigh of relief when she made it to her car without him catching up to her, and peeled out of the parking lot.

She heard her cell phone ring, Sam's name flashing onto the screen, but ignored it. Soon, a text came through the phone. She looked over into the passenger seat where she'd flung it with the rest of her things in her haste to leave school. Texting she could do. She could read it and no one would be around to see or hear her reaction. She waited until she pulled up to a red light and pulled her phone over.

So, you're ignoring me now? Is that it?

She ignored that, tossed her phone back onto the chair, and continued towards home. When she didn't get another one all the way home, she breathed a sigh of relief, but her phone beeped again as soon as she walked through the door, another phone call. She let it go to voicemail again as she headed up the stairs of her thankfully empty house and face planted onto her bed.

Her voicemail alert chimed and Mercedes stared at the little icon for a few seconds before extending a shaking finger to play it. She heard nothing at first and thought he'd just taken a few extra seconds to hang up, but then his voice came through and she wished she hadn't listened because it broke her heart.

His tone was serious and unbelievably sad as he said, "Seriously? You ran away? I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It's what you've been doing since I came back. This morning was the most honest moment we've had, but you're literally running away from it now."

Mercedes' heart constricted listening to his words. She'd been concerned with appeasing Shane's hurt feelings and suspicions and now she could literally hear the hurt in Sam's voice. She closed her eyes, fighting off tears at the guilt she felt over that. It seemed no matter what move she made, she'd end up letting someone down, and she literally felt like she couldn't breathe properly from the pressure of it all.

"You wouldn't even look at me in Glee today. It really hurt. I know you bottle things up sometimes but, I never figured you'd actually run away from facing how you feel. So, what're you gonna do? Just never speak to me again, pretend I'm not there?" His tone was a mix of frustration and sadness as he spoke, and then she heard him sigh.

"It's actually killing me to even think this, let alone say it but, I'll give you space, if you need it -to think or whatever. Just please don't shut me out like I'm not there, okay?"

There were another few seconds of silence and then the message cut off. Mercedes played it again, and then just lay quiet on her bed staring at the phone. She tried to get her breathing under control but it felt like she had a cinder block on her back making it impossible to take in a suitable amount of air.

She'd told Sam she wanted him to stop, and now he was giving her exactly that. Instead of the relief she expected to feel however, she only felt empty, like she was losing him all over again.

The feeling only grew as she went to bed that night without a goodnight text from Sam, and worsened when she walked into school to find her locker void of any trace of the blond that had become a fixture there -starting most every day for the last three weeks with a smile and wave for her.

She tried not to let it bother her, quickly grabbing her things. She was completely lost in her thoughts, tuning out the rest of the hallway chatter and din. When she closed her locker door, and turned to head to class, she walked straight into someone's chest and yelped in surprise.

He stood there regarding her with a questioning look in his eyes and she went from surprise to indignant in 3 seconds flat. "Why would you startle me like that, Shane?" she asked angrily.

"I wasn't trying to. I must have called your name like five times and you didn't answer; just stood there with a far off look on your face," Shane said as he watched her warily. "Good morning,by the way," he added pointedly. "What's the matter?"

Mercedes stared at her boyfriend. What was the matter, she thought. She'd wanted Sam to leave her alone and he had...and now it was making her question what she really wanted. She couldn't just tell Shane that, though –especially not after she'd spent so much time reassuring him he had nothing to worry about.

With the guilt already seeping in, she finally sighed and said, "Nothing. I just didn't sleep very well last night. Guess I'm zoning out." It wasn't a lie –she really hadn't slept well, but it wasn't the whole truth, either. She couldn't very well just tell him the reason why, though.

Shane's continued to study her face cautiously, but again, he let it go. He grabbed her hand in a firm grip, pulling her close to him, and walked her to her first class. Neither of them spoke much during the short trip –both absorbed in their own thoughts. Mercedes gave Shane a quick side hug before disappearing through her classroom door. She missed his wounded frown at the fact that she'd forgotten to kiss him goodbye.

That afternoon, Mercedes tentatively walked into Glee club. She locked eyes with Sam for the briefest of moments before looking away again. Passing up the open seat next to him, she opted for one in the back near Tina.

Even in that tiny moment she could see the hurt in his eyes. She could see it in the way he sat –slouched over and head down, looking positively miserable. She felt responsible, and that killedher, but she couldn't make it better in the way that he wanted, even if part of her wanted to.

This situation had made her life nothing but stressful. She was more confused than ever, questioning everything and constantly afraid of hurting someone. It seemed as if, no matter what she did, someone would be hurt.

She pushed the thoughts out of her head as Mr. Schuester walked in, starting the meeting. Her heart wasn't in it today, but she'd push through like she always did. She felt Tina's hand close in on her own, giving her a small, consoling squeeze. She mustered up a small smile for Tina in thanks and prayed for the strength to make it through the rest of the day.

On her way home to prepare for Rachel's party, Shane called, sounding excessively syrupy –wanting to spend time with her. He'd probably called her 'baby' or 'sweetie' more times in that conversation alone, than he had in their entire relationship. Mercedes noticed, but didn't let on.

She reminded him about the New Directions party and wondered why he sounded so put out when she'd told him about it the same day Rachel had brought it up. He wrapped up their conversation in haste after that, and Mercedes just groaned. Why was everything just such a damn mess?

She'd have to think about it later, however. She had a party to get ready for.

As Mercedes headed to Rachel's later that night with Mike and Tina, she was only certain of one thing. She was going to have some fun. She wouldn't think about Sam or Shane or her future or her past or anything at all. She needed a break from it all. Tonight she was just Mercedes, no drama allowed.

It started out well. She had a few drinks, and the giggle fits had started with Tina, so she'd had a couple more. She found herself on the dance floor, throwing out her best moves, as Blaine, Finn, and Rachel drunkenly belted out some Katy Perry song on the stage. All the Glee girls, Puck, Mike, Rory, and Kurt danced together, aimlessly moving around each other. It was a chaotic mess of limbs, hair, and uncoordinated movement –with the occasional outburst of random laughter from the girls, rowdy inappropriate commentary from Artie, or ugly emotional sobbing from Santana.

Mercedes caught Sam's wistful gaze a few times as she danced. He was definitely watching her from the spot he'd rooted himself to on the couch for the night, but she didn't allow herself to linger. Thinking about him would force her to think about things that would only ruin her mood and she was feeling good.

That is, until Artie had loudly called for a game of spin the bottle and she currently found her bottle pointed at Sam.

As drunk and rowdy as this group of teenagers had been in the moments prior, every one of them knew the gravity of this development. They could only watch with keen interest as the scene unfolded before them.

The panic Mercedes felt was like a douse of cold water and she looked at Sam in his spot across from her with wide, anxious eyes. The universe was trolling her. It had to be. Of the twelve other people in the room besides her and Sam, the bottle just had to land on him? She would have even preferred Puck's inappropriate ass to this.

The wistful look Sam had been directing at her the entire night was suddenly intense and smoldering, and Mercedes wondered if everyone else could feel how warm it'd gotten in the room. Her heart rate spiked and she took in a few quivering breaths as he slowly began to crawl his way to her, never taking his eyes off of her. He reached her, pulled her up so they were both kneeling, and then he was in her personal space, ready to touch his lips to hers.

Mercedes' alcohol addled brain short-circuited. She'd forgotten how to move or speak. Sam started to lean in and she didn't budge. Sober, she would have known all the reasons this was a bad idea. Even still she found it tough to resist him when he was this close to her. With the alcohol to disable all those filters, and his face just inches away from her own, she was going to let him kiss her.

Sam brought up a hand to cup her cheek and tentatively pressed his lips to hers for a couple of seconds in a chaste kiss and she gasped, pulling away from him. All the feelings she'd been repressing threatened to come spilling out of her and it had her taking in shaky breaths. Her lips still tingled from their brief contact and she bit her bottom lip looking into his eyes. His face was still impossibly close to hers and she could see a full spectrum of emotions flashing across it but, hope and adoration were the prominent ones. He offered her a tiny crooked smile as his eyes darted back and forth over her face.

It literally melted her heart, and before she could tell herself she was completely wrong for it, she grabbed his face with both hands, bringing him closer and kissing the shit out of him. Their lips moved frantically against each other, their need overtaking them. Her right hand moved from his face to his hair and he relished the familiar feeling of her running her hands through it.

She felt Sam's tongue swipe against her bottom lip and moaned as she opened her mouth to him, granting him the access he sought. He wasted no time sliding his tongue against hers and driving her crazy. She pressed herself closer to him and felt him respond, tightening his arms around her. It felt so good, she whimpered and heard him answer with a moan as he wove his hands into her hair and kissed her harder. God, yes, she thought. This is what she'd been missing. Shane had never made her feel like this.

The second his name flashed through her thoughts she was pulling back from Sam, panting. Shane, her boyfriend. She stared at Sam –his messy hair her hands had just disheveled, and his lips she'd just kissed and sucked till they were red and swollen and her heart sunk. It may have been a game of spin the bottle but the guilt was already beginning to settle in.

Shane had picked up the pieces when Sam was gone with no hope of coming back. He'd been there for her, supported her, and now she'd stomped all over that by kissing the boy who'd broken her heart.

She felt even worse when she thought about how good it felt to have Sam kiss her again. Her kisses with Shane were nice but he'd never practically lit her on fire the way she felt with Sam. This kiss had just brought back every touch, every kiss, every repressed memory she'd had in her perfect month with Sam. She knew she had no hope of bottling them back in again.

Sam had sat back on his legs now, watching her carefully. She didn't know what to tell him. She could see the lusty haze clear from his eyes, then the hope left, too, and he shook his head huffing out a sad laugh before putting his head down.

As she looked around the room at all her friends' questioning eyes, the need for air became overwhelming. She was backing away from the circle and nobody said anything, but Sam's head snapped up as she stood up and stumbled to the stairs. He was up in a flash, a storm of frustration building in his eyes.

Mercedes took in his fiery expression and the way he was stalking across the room after her and bolted. She could sense the impending exchange and she had to get the hell out of there. She wasn't ready to face him; she wasn't ready for the conversation she knew had been a long time coming. She raced up the stairs as fast as she could, barely hearing Sam's frustrated growl as he sped after her.


Author's Notes:

Aaah! Okay, I'm really super nervous to hear what you all will think! But PLEASE REVIEW! I absolutely enjoy reading every single one! :)

Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted, favorited, whatever...it's all so greatly appreciated!