A/N - I'm posting the remaining chapters pretty quick due to the 'implied' threats to break my fingers if I don't.
The Onion
Chapter 4
Gibbs sat silently in the squad room waiting for the box of tricks in front of him to whir into action. Sipping his morning coffee, he shifted restlessly in his chair. What was the hold up? He considered slapping the slide of the monitor and then remembered a previous conversation he'd had with McGee about motivating his computer to work quicker.
"That doesn't work, boss"
"Works with DiNozzo", he had replied
He had to be patient. He didn't like being patient. But he knew that if he rushed it, the computer would crash, data would be screwed up and it'd take longer to fix. He waited.
McGee was right. Computers were amazing things. Give them a direct set of instructions and the right questions and they'd work tirelessly to find the answers. But they weren't infallible. Find a hole, a back door, a small weakness in their firewall or antivirus software and they were vulnerable, open to infection, intrusion. His 'computer' was sick.
He was going to have to tread carefully. His computer had issues. He'd known that four years ago. But they never usually interfered with its ability to do its job. It functioned well under pressure, a little too well sometimes, and he could always count on his computer to provide the necessary back up. Sure his computer had the occasional blip every now and again, but a swift 'reboot' to the back of the head was all that was usually required. But this, this was different. He'd seen it before. He'd seen it in DiNozzo's eyes. Only once, but he hadn't liked what he had seen.
The frightened, lonely, insecure man had stood, cowering before him. Cowering. DiNozzo had never cowered before. Secretly, Gibbs had always been proud of the way DiNozzo usually gave him a run for his money and wasn't afraid to stand up to him on occasion. He'd liked that. It kept both of them on their toes. But the cowering figure he had seen before him that day. It had shocked him. But it was what he'd said that had shocked him more.
"I'm a pathetic, worthless piece of crap. I don't know why you just don't fire me"
He couldn't believe what he had just heard coming out of his agent's mouth. He considered DiNozzo to be one of the most intelligent, honest, determined, confident, brave, loyal and caring men that he'd ever had the pleasure of working with. More than that though. He considered him a friend.
"I will… if I ever hear you talk like that again DiNozzo" he sternly rebuked.
He never really got to the bottom of what it was that had troubled DiNozzo enough to make him think so little of himself that time. Usually, when DiNozzo screwed up he'd admit his mistake, take a whack, beat himself up for a while and then get stuck back in. He'd always learn from his mistakes. It was healthy.
Then there were the odd occasions when DiNozzo hadn't actually screwed up… not in Gibbs's eyes anyway… perhaps DiNozzo's eyes. But he would still beat himself up about it. And then Tony would bait him, playing up more than usual, goading him until he relented into giving him a hard slap to the head or balled him out in front of the team. Then he'd go back to being normal DiNozzo… Gibbs's senior field agent.
And then there was that…
The cowering figure flashed into his mind.
DiNozzo had never spoken of that day again, but then DiNozzo wasn't one to open up to people, not about personal matters anyway. Just talk to me Jethro. The voice in his head was calming, reassuring. Neither, it seemed, was he.
He knew this had to be about rejection. The trigger had been when DiNozzo had found out that he hadn't been invited to Ziva's dinner when the rest of them had. He kicked himself for playing a part in that. But it wasn't like DiNozzo hadn't been on the receiving end of rejection before. Or, in fact, the dishing out of it Gibbs mused. Most of his romantic relationships were superficial and short-lived, never lasting long enough for him to get attached. Never long enough to care when he or the girl broke it off. He'd had a brief fling with Agent Cassidy. A couple of months. That had been his longest that he'd known about. DiNozzo never allowed himself to be put in a position where he might get hurt, emotionally that was. Gibbs sighed. Yeah… he knew what that was like.
Team mates were different though. He knew DiNozzo, even though he teased them silly, had the highest regard for all his team mates. He was a damn good judge of character and he knew that the team regarded DiNozzo the same way. He'd thought DiNozzo knew that. An error on Ziva's part had caused Tony to call that into question. Rejection by a team mate did not bode well. They had to work together… daily… nightly even. He needed to get DiNozzo to talk… and to do that he was going to have to hurt him.
Cruel to be kind.The voice in his head sighed soothingly.
He hated that part.
The monitor in front of him beeped to reveal a new selection of e-mails from HR on yet more 'common sense' training courses, various interdepartmental bulletins, stats and… an e-mail from DiNozzo.
He stared at the screen. His report from yesterday. DiNozzo had come back.
Noting the time received, 01.13, he sighed, this was going to be harder than he'd thought. Opening the e-mail, he double-clicked the report icon and began to read.
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Fourth Chapter – completely devoted to the main man.
Hope you liked it. Please comment. I sound desperate don't I!
Love to hear your thoughts on what worked, what didn't, suggestions for improvement. Thanks everyone.
Fifth chapter on its way.
