It's been a while. A long while. I edited this myself, so probably a few mistakes.
ESMEPOV
"We're very sorry, Mrs Cullen," the woman in front of me said. "This has all been a terrible mix-up."
For a moment my heart seemed to falter, before beating faster, hopes rose. A mix up… was it possible…?
"There seems to have been a lot of confusion regarding your arrival at Seattle Children's Hospital. For a start, the doctor who you talked to was a resident, Dr Smith, and is about as much use as a camel to a family who just had a child diagnosed with a potentially fatal illness. The whole affair was not handled as it should have been. I would suggest that since your entire family is here at the moment that we stay here for tonight and re-evaluate everything in the morning." My heart sank with each word she spoke. Of course the mix-up hadn't been the diagnosis.
Carlisle nodded. "Of course, Doctor Staker."
"Where are the kids right now?" I asked, feeling a little uncomfortable about the fact that my son's life was in the hands of a medical team who had just admitted to making a mistake.
"The older three are having a private room, room 118, set up. Edward and Alice are in the room which will be Edward's should he start chemo tomorrow or at any time during the next month, but I think Alice is staying in the other kids' room. The kids have been fed and seeing as it's nine o'clock I think you should think about getting them into bed. We've set up an adjoining room that connects to Edward's for you two, and you can get through Edward's room to the other room."
"Thanks," I said. "I'll go put the kids to bed. Carlisle…?"
"I want to stay and talk to Dr Staker for a moment." He seemed tired and defeated so I nodded and left without protest.
I knocked lightly on the door to room one hundred and eighteen, the friendly night-nurse who'd given me directions smiling sadly. "Hey, Rosie," I whispered when she opened the door. "Is everyone awake?"
"Yeah," she whispered back, glancing down the dimly lit corridor. "Edward and Alice are in a different room, though."
"I know," I said, smiling at Rosalie. Everything seemed so surreal that it wasn't hard to ignore what was going on and smile. "It's time for bed, sweetie. Let me in."
Rosalie stepped back from the doorway and I walked into the room, shutting the door behind me. Emmett was playing solitaire and Jasper was reading a book. "Hey, it's bedtime," I murmured.
The room was about the size of my bedroom at home, and there was one bed against each of the four walls, leaving just enough space for the three doors, one that I had just entered by, one that led to a bathroom and the other that led to the adjoining room. "You're all in your pyjamas, good."
Emmett packed up the cards without complaint and the three kids slid into their beds unusually quietly. I slipped into Edward's room to find he was already asleep, Alice was squatting by the bed playing with a Barbie doll from God knows where. "Hey, Allie, put the doll down now," I whispered, pushing her hair out of her eyes. "Come on, sweetheart, it's time for bed."
"No," Alice pouted.
"Yes," I replied, putting on a stern expression.
"No," Alice said, shaking a fist at me and dropping the Barbie.
"Yes, don't argue with Mommy, she's too tired to argue back and stop being silly. You wouldn't want your friends at school to see you like this, would you, Allie? Having a temper tantrum and screaming at your Mommy while your brother is trying to sleep?"
Alice hung her head. "I'm coming, Mummy."
"Mommy," I smiled.
"Mummy."
I took her hand and led her back to Room 118, where Rose was already half-asleep. Tucking Alice in, I kissed her forehead. Then I tucked in Rose and Jasper. I perched at the end of Emmett's bed. "What's going on with Edward?" he asked.
"Uh," I stalled, glancing around at the others, who were all keenly awake at the mention of their brother. "Edward's a little sick right now," I said, trying to make the explanation understandable for Alice. "We all have to be here because it will be a while until Edward's better, and we want him to have lots and lots of support."
Emmett stared at me for a moment. "Mom…?"
"The doctors and nurses will explain the rest tomorrow," I said hurriedly. "Goodnight Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie."
"Goodnight," they chorused.
I tip-toed into Edward's room, where he was lightly snoring. I smiled as I watched him toss, but the smile wavered and a tear trickled down my cheek. The door to Edward's room opened and Carlisle crept in, standing at the foot of his son's bed. His eyes met mine. "For better and for worse," he reminded me.
I smiled bitterly. "In sickness and in health."
Back at Doctor Staker's office two sleepy-eyed members of my son's hours old medical team were waiting. Doctor Staker herself was sharp and wide awake. "Mrs Cullen, the team have decided on a standard approach to your son's treatment. They'll start with a bone-marrow aspiration at eleven tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? So soon?"
"Yes, the sooner the better. Unless," Doctor Staker leant in, "unless, Mrs Cullen, you don't want your son to receive medical treatment?"
I know what chemotherapy is meant to be like. My mother's friend was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was about my age. My mother had often taken me along to see this woman, and I had watched as chemo took its toll. But it was treatment. It could mean a cure. The words that next came out of my mouth didn't seem to belong to me. "Doctor Staker, if we chose not to treat leukaemia, then what would happen?"
"Edward would have maybe a few months? He would be very sick and most likely in pain, it would be an unpleasant end, however the long road to recovery would also be upsetting. While this decision is partially up to you and your husband, it is ultimately your son's decision and if he wants treatment and you and you husband disagree, then the medical board would rule in your child's favour- after all, his survival is what this is all about."
"Right," I said. "Right."
"Mrs Cullen, you do want your son to have treatment, don't you?" Dr Staker frowned and I had a feeling that her opinion of me had dropped considerably. "Mrs Cullen?"
"I… I don't want him to suffer."
"He will suffer either way but this way he has a chance to live! When- if- he survives, he has a whole life! If you go the other way death is a certainty."
"I know," I whispered.
"You have to make your mind up quite soon, you know."
"I know," I replied. "I already have."
"What's your decision?" Dr Staker was staring at me intently, the two other members of the medical team holding their breath.
"I… I don't want him to…"
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