Sorry it's taken so long to reply, being the start of the new college year nothing ever gets done in time.

Here's the next chapter we hope you enjoy it.

Despite the fact that in reality the hours moved as normal, for both Miranda and Andrea the day seemed to drag.

Both had very mixed feelings about the nights invitation into Miranda's home but in different ways.

Miranda was filled with apprehension but pure exitement bubble through her body for what may or may not happen during the course of the evening.

Andy was filled with sheer dread. It wasn't that she wasnt looking forward to the evening, infact she was sort of excited. However sheer fear seemed to over take her level of excitement. When she accepted the invitation she was thrown by just how vulnerable Miranda looked, how Andrea was concerned about her and also to prove to Miranda and possibly herself that she was willing to try and rectify any relationship they may have between them.

As the hours rolled by though, realisation set in and by half past five Andrea was nervous wreck. What the hell was she going to wear? How would she act around the twins and miranda, would she even be able to tell the twins apart? All types of different ways this evening could end were running through her mind, and yet dispite all these feelings and anxieties she couldnt help but feel the excitement bubbling in her veins.

Her palms began to sweat and she started to fidget; she couldn't seem to sit still. Despite how sweet Miranda thought these nervous show signs were, Andrea was really beginning to get on her nerves, she wasnt able to work. Through the corner of her eye all she could see was Andrea wringing her palms and when her feet began to swing under her desk,miranda's patience were beginging to wear thin.

She really couldn't take anymore of the rediculous movement when she could see through the corner of her eye Andrea rub her hands together and go to place them down on her legs.

" Andrea, if you dare wipe you hands on those Suede trousers you will be walking patricia every morning for the rest of you employement here." Miranda couldnt help but let a small smile play on her lips as she heard the soft gasp escape Andreas mouth.

Putting down the polaroids of the lattest photoshoot she called Andrea into her office.

Scrambling to her feet Andrea quickly checked over her trousers to make sure there was no sweat marks that would give her instant employement as main dog walker.

Looking up at her young employee, Miranda raked her eyes over Andrea's legs, mentally using the excuse to check for sweat stains on the $1500 Prada trousers convenietly borrowed from the closet courtesy of Nigel. Nodding once miranda moved her gaze to Andrea's face.

" Andrea go home."

"err..buu"

"no. go home. Have a bath, read a book, clean your apartment. Just go home and do something. You have wriggling around in your chair for the last hour and I personally dont want to see you ruin those trousers any more than you already have."

setting her face into a soft smile, Miranda continued.

"i will see you at half past seven, I'll send roy to pick you up. Now go. That's all."

Miranda didn't give andrea a chance to respond she simply lowered her eyes and picked up the polaroids again.

Nodding, Andrea turned on her heel and walked out, leant over her desk and pulled her bag out of the draw next to her computor. This possition gave miranda a perfect view of Andrea's behind. Smiling to herself when she heard Miranda gasp, she turned her head slightly; just enough to catch miranda's eye and winked at her before standing bck up straight and walking out of runway.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

With andrea gone Miranda felt slightly out of the loop, sure she had Emily there to deal with all of her immediate needs but andrea; andrea was able to deal with Miranda's needs that she didnt even know she had, for example, fetching Miranda's coffee when she hadn't asked for it after a rather long and tiresome board meeting and rearanging her schedule so she would be able to attend her children's school concert next tuesday.

That beings said, she also felt slightly more relaxed with out Andrea around, especially after this mornings conversation between the pair. She felt she was able to do her job with out continously looking over at the young brunette; her eyes trailing over her body every time Andrea got up or the slight squeek of her chair indicating that she had stood up and was walking around the office.

By six oclock Miranda could no longer concentrate, her mind kept gliding over the events of the previous night in her home with the woman who would be there again tonight. Her mind kept picturing situations and sinareo's of ways andrea and herself would end up being in the same possition again.

However one thought always brought her out of these pleasant thoughts. Her past.

She knew she would have to get over this issue if she wanted any sort of a chance with the young woman, but her past had imprinted so much on her other relationshps she couldn't help but feel it would do the same with this one, well if there was a going to be a relationship between the pair that is.

A small niggling in her brain was telling her to stop being so rediculous, to stop worrying over the fact that yet again her feelings would get hurt and she would be back in the same dark place she was with all her other relationships. However despite her hidious past, Miranda had a feeling about this relationship that this one would be different, that Andrea would be willing to deal with Miranda's issues- mental, physical and commitment, but in order for that to happen Miranda would need to be willing to open up, be willing to let another person be involved in her life so much that she felt safe enough to entrust her troubled past in another being.

If it sounded that easy, that the pro's outdid the con's why was it that Miranda was having such an issue convincing herself that Andrea would be willing to be a part of her life, to put to rest her past and to build a future?

One thought came to Miranda's head. 'only time will tell.'

yes that was very true, only time would tell. She had told herself this over and over again with all her other relationships, and it was true, time would tell, but time had told her the things she didn't want to know or feel. The fact that she couldn't trust a single other person enough to explain her past and attempt to put it to rest.

She did come close to telling a person a long time ago. Her twins' father. She remembers that day vividly.

. . . . . . . .

She remembers lying in bed next to the man, the man who had just made love to her. See that was the first issue right there. People made love to her, she didnt make love to them. When in such a position all Miranda felt like was a piece of machinery, an atom being manipulated into something another wanted her to be. She would lie their and allow people to control her body, use it in the way they wished and then lie back down when they had finished, she would role over, pull the covers right up to her chin and squeeze her eye shut so tightly her eyelids ached from the pressure.

That night after her husband had made love to her miranda did the same thing she normally did; roled over and attempted sleep. This time though closing her eyes didn't seem to have the desired effect she had hoped for. Knowing full well Miranda wasn't asleep, her husband placed his hand on her hip and attempted to role her to the side to face him. Miranda wimpered. " please don't, please don't touch me." Startlling herself as the words escaped her mouth, Miranda shifted further along the bed.

" what's wrong?" her husband asked.

Taking a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut miranda took a deep breath and replied.

" I can't Richard, I can't do this, please don't"

this conversation seemed to occur often after such activities with her husband but they didn't go this way. It would normally be, her husband would ask what was wrong with her but she was just move over slightly closer to him and close her eyes tighter to fall asleep.

This time however she couldn't do that. She just couldn't believe she could have been so stupid. Couldn't believe she had aloud someone this close to her to let this happen. She had lost control yet again, she had allowed some one to posses her so much that another situation had occurred where she didn't know what to do with herself.

" Miranda, i've had enough of this, every time we have sex this happens. Just talk to me."

"i..i.. I cant Richard, I just can't."

beginning to lose his temper, her husband inhaled sharply.

" yes you can and you will, you never talk to me about anything other than your stupid job, or ask me every now and again if I would like a cup of coffee while you are going over the book. Well no more. I want to know what is going on, I can't do this any more. You are my life Miranda but I can never have the whole of you because you wont tell me anything. Now talk to me."

pulling herself up the bed Miranda plastered the 'dragon lady' expression on her face.

" i'm pregnant Richard, we are going to have a baby."

a smile instantly spread across Richard's face, his hand moving protectively over his wife's stomach.

Miranda flinched and moved his hand away from her body.

" what's wrong? This is amazing Miranda, we are going to be parents."

" no Richard this is not amazing, I don't want this, I can't do this, im too old, I don't have it in be to be a good parent."

frowning Richard pulled the sheets down around his waist.

"what? Why would you say that? That is utterly ridiculous How do you know you wouldn't be a good parent? You have never had the opportunity."

Miranda really had to hold her tongue at this comment. There was only one way she would be able to get her husband to understand. To make him understand that this really wasn't a possibility for her; she couldn't be a parent.

"i... when I was... no, i'm not doing this, I refuse to do this."

" what the hell are you talking about, we are going to be parents, this is fantastic news. I'm willing to spend the rest of my life with you Miranda and now we are going to have a baby, what a better way to share our life together."

that last sentence her husband spoke really through her over the edge. She leant over her side of the bed picked up her blue silk dressing gown, wrapped it around herself and pulled herself up from the bed.

" i'm sorry richard, I can't do this."

With this Miranda pulled open their bedroom door and made her way to the guest bedroom.

Shortly after this, their relationship began to break down, Miranda refused to acknowledge the fact that she was pregant, she refused to understand her husband's point of view and she through everything she had into her work. The only possible way she could gain back her control was to work. From the minute she woke up to the minute she went to sleep the only thing she would think about talk about would be work. The latest, Prada collection, which belt best matched the ballerina dress from this season's Donna Karen.

That was another relationship that failed due to the fact that she found it hard to commit to a person body and soul.

Don't get her wrong, her twins were beautiful, and she wouldn't change them for the world, they really were the best thing to ever happen to her, but she couldn't get rid of the fact that it hadn't always been like that.

. . . . . . . . . .. . .

Pushing those thoughts out of her head Miranda pulled herself up from her desk, turned of the lamp and called through.

"coat, bag."

hearing emily scramble out of her seat to get her belongings miranda smiled slightly, see, to her this felt like control. Having the power to make people do what ever she wanted them to do, to make all the decisions needed to ensure her magazine was at the top, and people would walk, well, practically sprint down the runway corridors carrying out the orders she had put to them.

Last night with Andrea she didn't have control, she had totally lost it, she did something so spontanious it had knocked her world a little off center. But funnily enough she didn't seem to mind, she understood what had happened last night, and she knew this feeling would occur again tonight, she just couldn't seem to understand why she didn't feel so out of control when she really didn't have any.

Refusing to think about any of this any more miranda took her items from her assistant and made her way down runway to the awaiting car at the bottom. Taking her phone out of her purse, she smiled at the name that appeared on the screen.

Andrea :

please don't ever hesitate to be yourself around me, because of what I have seen of the real miranda I really like her. She is a very beautiful woman.

Yours, A x

Miranda's smile grew considerably after reading the message from her assistant. Looking up at her driver she told roy about picking Andrea up and bringing her to the town house that evening and then he would be finished for the night and she would see him in the morning.

Her fingers hovered over the keypad on her phone, she pressed reply and gently typed out her message.

Miranda:

I promise to be myself around you as long as you are willing to accept me for who I am, the whole of me, 'dragon lady' also. I shall see you this evening.

M

nodding at her response she pressed send. In her head she had told Andrea that there was two sides to the broken woman, and that she entrusted Andrea with knowing this. She was snapped out of her thoughts as the woman in question replied to her message.

Andrea:

I will accept you in every way you give me. I will also appreciate you in every way you allow me to.

Enjoy the rest of your afternoon.

A x

Smiling to herself Miranda sat back in her seat. Andrea had said she would accept her for who she was, that included her past. Miranda's heart began to swell. Yes, this relationship felt right, the only thing she had to do now was let the young woman in enough for her to be able to see all sides to miranda, to accept her past and build her future.

This update was meant to be their date at the town house but i though maybe giving you all a little background information would help understand Miranda's past for latter episodes.

i hope you enjoyed this chapter.

please let us know what you think

Lauren and Hannah x