Playlist:
Jace- Love and Feeling by Chet Faker
Someone to talk to- Fourfiveseconds by Rihanna, Kanye West and Paul McCartney
Memory- Cigarette Daydreams by Cage The Elephant
Drive- Snap out of it by Arctic Monkeys
Walking- The Love Club by Lorde
Eating- Undiscovered by Laura Welsh
Radio- Ho Hey by The Lumineers
Blinded- Fun by Troye Sivan
Eight- This Love by Maroon 5
Mine- Marching On by OneRepublic
Sensitive- What Part Of Forever by Cee-Lo Green
He woke up, feeling warm with their bodies so close to each other in bed. Her blonde hair was spread out across her pillow, and he wished it was red. She grumbled, pulling him closer when he tried to put space between them. Jace rolled his eyes, giving in and kissing her forehead, making her smile.
"Go back to sleep, Baby." She breathed, resting her head against his bare chest, her fingernails raking up his bicep as she held him to her. Not that he had anywhere to go if he did. They were at her place right now, which was common, as he didn't want her to go to his house, the decorations not having changed since Clary ran out of it screaming at him.
Yesterday had left him so exhausted, emotionally and physically. Emotionally being that for a moment, he thought that he had gotten his ex-fiancee back, just as he did the night before. Physically being that he hadn't gotten any sleep the night before when heard her screaming for him in the waiting room. The look in her eyes was of pure terror, horror, of just the shock of being there. As if she didn't know where she was. As if she had just woken up from her coma at night instead of day.
The blonde next to him had yet to find out about her, as most women usually ran for the hills when they learned he'd been previously engaged. Or they just wanted sex out of him. He couldn't believe that he, Jace Herondale, could not find a woman to love him. Love was a drug, a drug he'd become addicted to when he first met Clary as a child, and when it got taken away from him, he needed to find his next fix; searching for it in bars, libraries and even the gym.
She understood that he'd loved someone before her, but that was as far as her knowledge went. Jace had spent so long believing that Clary was dead, gone forever, until she woke up questioning who the people in her room were. It was a cruel joke cast upon him by the universe. As if it wanted him to see her face everyday and know that she could not remember all the times they spent together. The memories they created.
He should have known she was gone when he heard a truck slamming into her wrecked car over the phone.
"Kae, I need to go." He groaned, kissing her forehead one last time before detaching from her. She groaned loudly, turning her head and hugging a pillow that was next to her.
"Later, Babe." She mumbled, waving her hand at him as he left the room. He tugged his shirt off, opting to take a shower to wash her off of him when he went to see Clary. Jace was confused on how to deal with the situation. To leave a woman he cared about for one that was a ghost of his highschool sweetheart. There wasn't an answer that wouldn't hurt someone, or him.
"Wait? So you're saying that Jace punched you in the face for kissing me?" Clary asked Sebastian. He had a cup of coffee in his hand and was sitting on her bed. She felt comfortable around him. He wasn't expecting anything out of her, or who she used to be. He was someone who was just interested in holding a conversation. She really needed someone like that.
"Yeah, you were pretty pissed at him for that." Sebastian chuckled, setting the coffee on the bedside table to avoid spilling in on the white hospital bed. Clary fidgeted with a cup of her own. Nearly five years without the buzz had quite the effect on her.
She had to say that she was glad she didn't have to wear the hospital gown anymore, opting out for her own clothes. Clary was glad that her previous style wasn't dresses and heels, and instead on the more comfortable side like athletic shorts and a loose tshirt.
"I can see why," she giggled, probably from the kick the coffee was giving her. Her nerves were on fire, along with her bladder, as she tried to get as much of the brown drink down her throat. "Did I kiss you back?" Clary wondered.
"That's why he punched me. It's like he knew you were his even as children. Didn't want you falling for the rich boy." He shrugged.
"Rich boy?" She repeated.
"I'm not bragging, but in the first grade I offered you a horse if you would've dated me." Sebastian grinned. "Let's just say that you weren't opposed to the idea." Clary felt her cheeks flame.
"How much do horses cost?" Clary asked.
"They're pretty damn expensive if you buy the right ones." Sebastian answered with a crooked grin. His hair was slicked to the right, and his clothes matched more than Jace's or Simon's outfits. Something about him screamed successful, and it was most likely the large phone he would occasionally take out of his pocket and answer.
He stood up, making her believe he was leaving.
"Where are you going?" Clary panicked.
"Just going to ask the nurse something. Be back in a minute." He responded, headed for the room door. She let out a breath of relief, her not wanting to spend yet another day alone. Well, she wasn't entirely alone. She had her empty mind and zero memories to look back on. So there was that.
He came back, still smiling, and shrugged off his coat. Clary raised her brow, confused.
"You wanna go somewhere?" He asked. Her eyes widened in shock.
"But I can't-"
"I asked, the nurse said as long as you're back by today, and to at least tell one other person where we're going, that you can leave. And I already called your mom…" His crooked grin spread to her own face until she was just as giddy, already reaching for her running shoes that were tossed next to the bed.
"Wait, I don't have a jacket…" She thought outloud. No, there wasn't really a need with the warm california air. Being so small and skinny as she was, she wanted to be prepared for any exceptions.
"You can use mine, I have another in my car if I need it." Sebastian said, extending his arm and offering her the hoodie with the name of an expensive college on it. Clary grabbed at the cotton, sliding her head through the bottom and sticking her arms through the sleeves. It was big on her, but it wasn't too big. She could manage.
Clary slipped her shoes on, then stared at the laces in confusion. When she lifted her gaze, Sebastian was looking at her, his fingers twitching at his sides. Before she could ask for help, he was already moving towards her.
"Let me do that," He laughed, taking her foot in his lap and lacing the strings in an intricate knot. She liked the feeling of someone taking care of her that wasn't a nurse, like it wasn't his obligation and yet he still helped her. It was… nice.
"There, all better," Sebastian said, patting her shoes and standing up. He offered a hand for her to pull on when she stood, and she took it without hesitation.
"So where are we going?" Clary asked him as they walked down the halls of the hospital. He looked at her, running a hand through his jet black hair.
"It wouldn't really be a secret if I told you," he replied.
"So it's a secret then?" Her eyes widened at the many places she could end up. Just watching commercials and TV shows had her wondering what the world had to offer someone who couldn't remember leaving the hospital grounds.
When they approached the parking lot, she couldn't help but stare at the shining black camaro that was parked up front. While she was staring, she heard him clear his throat, gaining her attention. Clary didn't know why he did that, but remembering their previous conversation, recalled that he had nearly bought her a horse in the first grade.
"Please tell me that isn't your car." She pleaded with humor.
"I'm sorry," Sebastian said with a sheepish grin, guiding them both to the car; only to stop and take out his keys that would unlock the car. Even the noises it made sounded lavish to her. Overdone, expensive. "What do you think? Too much?"
"If you were going for the player look, then congrats." Clary answered honestly.
"Actually, I was going for the whole I'm sensitive to harsh comments please don't be mean kind of look." She couldn't help but erupt into a string of giggles. He tried not to pay any mind to her as he opened the car door for her. The car had a smell she recognized, almost new.
"No, you didn't?!" Clary laughed as Jace waved a pair of keys in front of her. He nodded at her and she pushed herself past him, running into their front yard and seeing something that could make her mother shake with worry.
She turned back to him, running at full speed and finally throwing herself into his arms, wrapping her own around his neck. It surprised him, but he caught her anyway, kissing the side of her face.
"Why do you get two cars?" She huffed.
"Who said it was mine?" He asked, and she pulled back, taking in what he said before peppering his face with kisses. "Now, let's see what all the hype is about car sex." She squealed when he lifted her legs, carrying her bridal style; blushing as he unlocked the car with the keys in his hand.
Clary tore away from the vision with a gasp, then played it off as something caught in her throat. The visions were becoming more frequent, triggering strange emotions in her. She wasn't necessarily reliving them. A more accurate statement was to say that she was watching them from her own point of view, as if they were a movie and she its audience.
While he drove, they talked about meaningless things, if she cared for the california weather or if she much rather prefered something colder.
"Slow down," she commented as they drove down a highway she couldn't recognize. Clary closed her eyes, trying to gain control over her breathing as he decreased his speed to something she was comfortable with.
"Clary?" He spoke up, and upon not hearing her respond, he grew concerned. "Hey, look at me, you're all right. Nothing's going to happen to you." His hand touched hers, intertwining their fingers till she could not help but feel a connection to him. "I won't let it." He softly added. She tore her gaze from the window, losing her fear in his brown eyes.
"I'm sorry, I don't know why I do that. Why I tense up, it just happens." She shrugged.
"Don't dismiss your own feelings. Tell me when you feel like that again and I'll pull over." Sebastian said before turning his attention to the road and continuing their journey. She hoped they weren't going some place… sentimental. She didn't want to disappoint him if she couldn't remember what it was that had taken place in a certain area.
After driving for what felt like forever, her falling asleep a couple of times on the way, he pulled into a more urban area, the occasional tricycle being spotted by her. There were cheap playgrounds that were nothing more than twisted metal and rusted chains, but there was something about them that made a smile breakout across her face. A family was throwing a party there, small children wearing pointed hats with varying colors. Parents looked exhausted, but still they smiled, and Clary wondered if she was ever given a party such as this one.
Some of the tall trees that sprouted in front of houses had a thick rope and tire attached to them. Sprinkles were twitching in the yards of daycares and churches. Rolling down the window, the steady wind brought forth the sound of birds chirping and… bells? Wind chimes, the voice reminded her. The smell of someone grilling made her mouth water. The place was in no way significant to her, but, there was an element that made her want to explore it. To see what other senses it could invoke in her.
"Where are we?" Clary asked incredulously, not looking back at Sebastian in fear that the urban territory would vanish. A light breeze carried warm air into the car, her hair brushing past her shoulders, but she didn't mind it. It was better than the cold, crisp air of the hospital. Sebastian sighed from inside the car, slowing to a stop to where he could park on the side of the street.
"This, Clary, is where you grew up." Sebastian answered. She turned to face him, unsure of how to respond.
"I grew up here? In this neighbourhood?" She said in awe. Sebastian pressed a button on his car door, unlocking both of theirs in the process. She stared at the door handle, nervous of venturing outside when she'd been in the hospital for what felt like her entire life. Or, what she could remember of it.
Which was nothing.
"Come on, let's go on a walk." He said with such enthusiasm that she didn't dare say no. She tugged on the door handle, another gust of warm air hitting when she stepped fully out of the car. It made her skin prickly, and each person that shouted would make her head spin. Someone placed their hand at her back and she startled, gasping.
"Sorry," Sebastian mumbled, pushing her in the direction of the cracked sidewalk. Depending on which direction they took, they'd either end up surrounded by stores or playgrounds. The choice was his, because she knew nothing of this neighbourhood. Well, at least she didn't know anything now.
"So, where do you want to start? We can see your old house, school, hangouts…?" He asked. When she heard hangouts, she saw a rebellious teenager smoking with a group of just-as-rebellious friends.
"Hangouts? I had hangouts?" She repeated in confusion.
"Well, I guess you can call them my hangouts, but you were there most of the time." Sebastian explained. Clary thought about if she would like to see her old house, to be unable to remember anything about it. Or, if she would like to see a place that once brought her amusement, fun, and experiences.
"My old house, I guess." Clary shrugged, following Sebastian when he began to walk in a certain direction. Better to save the fun for the end. A few times did she have to watch out for the cracks in the sidewalk, them being so significant that he had to point them out beforehand.
"Were we like, bad kids or something? Why did we have hangouts?" Clary hypothesised. This made Sebastian laugh. Or, not really laugh, but snort in surprise of her most likely poorly made assumption.
"You? A bad kid? Come on, even now I can't imagine you doing anything more than sneaking out with your boyfriend." He guffawed. A boyfriend? Especially one she snuck out with? Clary couldn't picture Jace ever sneaking out with her and instead courting her to dances and picnics.
"I snuck out with my boyfriend? How do you know?" She asked through slitted eyes.
"Well, I was there to see it firsthand." Sebastian defended.
"Firsthand? How?" Her eyes were still narrow with doubt when his face began to redden. Sebastian: who appeared to be just as confident as Jace, was blushing.
"I was your boyfriend." Sebastian said with a cough. Clary sucked in a breath, scanning his face for any sign of longing that she had missed. There was no expectation though, nothing that would make her feel uncomfortable, so her frown smoothed and she began walking again. They were quiet for a while, the only noise being heard was the occasional slip she made on the sidewalk.
"Are you okay? You're being quiet." Sebastian noted. She nodded, swallowing thickly before answering.
"Yeah, it's just, you're the only person who hasn't looked at me like I'm in your debt. Like I owe it to you to be that girl again." She sighed.
"Well, you don't owe me anything." He finished, and they were talking again. About little things like they had done when he was driving. She chatted about how she'd seen some pictures of him a child, and he would comment on how he was the prettiest kid in the album. When he stopped, she figured it was to tie his shoes, but then he turned and faced a small house that was painted pink. Its porch was concrete, and surrounding it was a chainlink fence.
"Is this my house?" She asked him. There was a small twinge of hope that when she saw the old building, she'd instantly remember growing up there. Looking at the pink house made her feel nothing more than an empty confusion.
"Yeah."
"How do you know where I used to live?" Clare wondered.
"Dating, remember?" He reminded her, making her cheeks blush with recognition. She wondered if he'd ever seen inside the house. That thought certainly didn't help with the blush. "Quit blushing like that, we were hormonal teenagers and your parents loved to take your sister to the park." Sebastian groaned. She nodded, remembering her mother show her a picture of a girl much younger than her. Clary had to guess she was a teenager the way her hips were curved and stature was tall.
"Wait, how did Jace handle us dating? Didn't you say he punched you in face when we were kids?" Clary pondered.
"He didn't handle it, at all. But you were a girl worth getting punched for. So it all worked out." Sebastian smirked. Clary didn't put too much thought in his words, after all it had been five years in a coma to completely erase who she used to be. Who he used to adore.
"Just out of curiosity-"
"Five times. He punched me five times." Sebastian answered.
"I'm sorry," She apologized.
"I kind of deserved it though. Each time he caught us, we were in a compromising position. He was like your older brother or something, except he was in love with you. Funny how Jonathan actually liked me more than him." Sebastian snorted.
"Why did we break up?" Clary blurted, feeling regret for asking. He cleared his throat as if it were caught up in emotion, and finally he let out a long sigh; ready to tell her why their seemingly perfect relationship had ended.
"College. We were both going to different ones and we just decided to end it on good terms. We still kept in touch though." Sebastian detailed.
"Oh," she sighed. As she turned away from the house, her stomach rumbled, vibrating almost in a pain she had yet to experience. It was like her midsection was being compressed. Clary turned to Sebastian, confused.
"We should probably get something to eat," he smiled, checking his time on the watch. "Five o'clock. Yeah, time to eat." And they were off again, walking back to his car that made her worry of going too fast in a neighbourhood. The click of it unlocking startled her, making her think back to a time she didn't know she was present for.
The sound of a car flipping down a highway…
"What are you in the mood for then?" Sebastian said, pulling her out of her past senses.
"Huh?" She said, stupefied. He rolled his eyes, and she worried that he was mad at her, but his smile assured her that he was just amused.
"Well, there's this really great thing called a hamburger, if you want to try that." He suggested. Clary nodded along, not sure if a hamburger was as great as he claimed it to be. Sebastian's car would lift at every speed bump, the car appearing to levitate as it rolled over the concrete. Her nerves sparked and she gripped the handle above her head. When he saw this, he slowed down, much to her appreciation.
The smell of food reached her and all she could manage to do was keep herself from jumping out of the car and running to the restaurant. It also smelled unhealthy, but she didn't pay much attention to that aspect. Food was food, and she needed food.
"What is this place?" Clary asked him. Through the windows she could see a small cluster of people eating oil-covered meals, picking fries from their plates and dipping them in various sauces. Her stomach grumbled in envy of the people, wanting to snatch away their precious food and eat it for herself. Life had to get better than hospital food!
Against the small restaurant where people leaning, a cigarette burning between their crusted lips, she saw the bright neon sign scream the name out, but Sebastian answered her before she could announce her conclusion.
"Taki's Diner." He answered, pulling her to his side and opening the door for the both of them with his large hand. She muttered a thank you, and he might have replied, but her eyes went automatically for the pretty blonde that was going to serve them.
"Clarissa Fairchild?!" She gasped, her hand flying to her heft bust. Did she know this woman? The voice in the back of her head tried to shout something but Clary wanted to hear the blonde out.
"Do I know you?" Clary wondered. The blonde looked taken aback, scoffing with a surprised grin.
"Uh, I'm only the girl you worked with for your entire high school experience! Hello! We were like, really close. I haven't seen you in a while!" She whined.
"Errrm. I'm fine, actually." Clary improvised, not wanting to detail a car crash she couldn't remember.
"I can imagine! You went to college with that boyfriend of yours! What was his name again?" Sebastian cleared his throat, cutting of her train of thought.
"Oh hello Sebastian!" She said with a little too much enthusiasm. "If I remember correctly, weren't you always trying to get her to leave work early?" She grinned deviously.
"You may be right." Sebastian muttered.
"Anyways, I'll be serving you today! Would you like a booth or a table?" She asked them. Clary didn't know what a booth was.
"Booth," Sebastian ordered, and the blonde was leading them down the checkered tile to what looked like two sofas and a table in between. Her blue eyes challenged Clary's green eyes, making her feel insignificant and intimidated in the process. Kaelie's bust was much more impressive than Clary's, and her hair was less curly, almost pin-straight.
"I know Clary wants Dr. Pepper, but what do you want…?" She seemed to be fishing for Sebastian's name.
"Sebastian, and I'll have the same." Kaelie wrote down something on the notepad she had in her hand, smiling at them when she snapped it shut.
"I'll get that right away! Make sure to check out our afternoon specials before you order," Clary looked at the laminated menu in front of her, seeing pictures of sizzling entrees and bubbling drinks.
"You don't really need to look at the menu, we're just getting hamburgers, wouldn't want to overwhelm you on your first day out," Sebastian said. Clary tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, cursing herself for not bringing a rubber band to contain her hair.
"So I worked here?" She said, looking at the ceiling and the dirtied walls on the side.
"You did, and I almost got you fired a few times when I came to pick you up." He added.
"Really? How so?" She asked him.
"Something about public displays of affection are frowned upon here." He snorted with amusement, and possible embarrassment as well. As the minutes passed, Kaelie came and went, taking their orders and bringing their drinks. Clary found out that soda was amazing. It was as if fireworks were going off inside her mouth, sugar exploding and coating the surface. The hamburger was far more impressive than any hospital meal that had been prepared for. She vowed to herself that she'd eat at Taki's whenever it was possible.
"Did you like it?" Sebastian asked her as they stood from the booth.
"Like is an understatement." She growled. Clary looked at the clock, the small hand pointing at six and the big one pointing at nine. The amazing day was already coming to an end! "Can you show my old hangouts then?" She interjected.
"Our old hangouts, but okay." Sebastian smirked, walking in front of her to unlock his car. The blonde, Kaelie, the voice reminded, waved goodbye at Clary before returning to whatever it was that she did. "It's getting late, so we'll just go to one of them." He frowned, but not for long. He opened the door on her side of the car, watching her get in and then sprinting to his side.
"Why is this one the best?" She challenged. He tore his eyes away from the road, looking at her for a second.
"I don't know, you liked it before, maybe you'll like it now." Sebastian replied. The sky was a bronzed orange, making her think of the day before, when Jace Herondale had scared her. Scared her of her own actions. Bugs were chirping in her ear as he drove through neighbourhood after neighbourhood, stopping at something she didn't expect.
"Why are we at an elementary school?" Clary blurted. He was parked outside of a chainlink fence that bordered a playground, which was built in the back of a children's elementary school. There was patch of ground that was flattened by concrete, close to where they were parked and yet inside the boundaries of the fence. Slides were scattered all around, and swings were never far from each one.
"I met you here, you were a sentimental person." Sebastian explained, pulling his keys out of the ignition and opening his door. He stopped, momentarily to take out his phone and running his hand across the glass screen. The radio flickered back to life, awaiting his command. Clary tugged herself out of her awestruck mind, preparing her voice of reason.
"We can't go in there! Someone will catch us!" Clary started.
"It's never stopped us before…" He grinned, gesturing to her unlocked door and silently challenging her to open it. For some reason, she listened to him and opened her door. Sebastian slid his phone back into his pocket, stepping out of the car and joining her on the sidewalk. He walked over to the small fence, easily stepping over it with his incredulous height.
"You are so bad for me." She laughed, putting her hands on the metal and climbing to the other side. With the sun dipping between the horizon, there was just enough light to allow her to walk without stumbling. Clary was grateful of the flattened concrete space, at least there were no surprise dips in the ground.
They were walking beside each other when he stopped directly in the middle of the paved square, pulling her against him.
"Let's dance?" He offered.
"There's no music, if you haven't noticed?" She reminded. He used one of his hands to dig into his pockets, turning his phone on and skimming through a list of things she couldn't exactly read from her short height. The stereo from his car began to play a soft tune, a guitar strumming into atmosphere.
"How is that possible?" Clary gaped.
"Bluetooth." He answered.
"What?"
"Nevermind. But now we can dance." Clary groaned to herself at his words, not seeing any way out of the situation.
"Remember this little thing called amnesia? It means I can't dance." She objected.
"You couldn't dance before either, I'll lead you. You'll be fine." His hand went to her to small of her back, the other taking hold of her right hand. Clary's left hand scrambled to him space under his arm, resting in the space between his hip and his rib. Each breath he exhaled landed on her head, and she could not help but smell his pleasant cologne. He smelled of pine and expensive clothing.
"Move with me," he said softly. Sebastian began to move her with the movements of his feet, rocking her side to side in his arms. When the the people in the song clapped loudly and a deeper sounding drum kicked in, he dipped her, pulling her back to him with a strong force. Gaining confidence, she swayed her hips, laughing when he twirled her by surprise. When the song ended, she looked at him, unsure of what was going on.
Another song followed in pursuit, a quicker beat and a boy who couldn't have been as old as the last singers. They didn't move as fast as the beat demanded, Clary settling to lean her head against his fabric-covered chest.
"I lied, he punched me two more times when you weren't around." Sebastian blurted, startling her from her dream-like state.
"Why?"
"Because I said something he didn't want to hear." Sebastian replied.
"What did you say?" She pressed on.
"That you and me were destined, that nothing was going to pull us apart. No, I can imagine he didn't like hearing that at all." He said, looking at the sinking sun.
"Was I really worth all that trouble?" Clary couldn't imagine taking a punch for someone.
"Oh, you were worth much, much more." He growled, gazing down at her with an intensity that reminded her of the man she used to be engaged to. Sebastian leaned in, and she saw no reason to recoil. Almost instinctively, her lips parted for him, awaiting his soft touch.
They were blinded by a white light, both springing apart from each other in shock.
"Hey!" Someone shouted in a deeply masculine voice. Sebastian grabbed her arm, tugging her along. They were both laughing like giddy teenagers, the man shouting at them as they ran into his car and shut the doors.
She squealed when he stepped on the gas, them both lurching backwards as he sped away from the school.
"Thank you for taking me out today, I had a lot of fun." Clary said to him. They were both standing in front of her room door. He had his shoulder leaning against the frame and wore a crooked grin that made her insides turn to liquid.
"No problem, I just wish we hadn't been caught." He smiled, his hands retrieving from his pocket and reaching out towards her, skimming up her arms. Resting at her shoulders, he pulled her close to him, leaning down and lifting her chin to where she couldn't avoid his gaze.
And the door flung open, a red-faced Jace glowering at Sebastian. There was a maddened look in his eyes, and he pulled back his fist only to slam it into Sebastian's face with twice as much force. Clary's teeth vibrated at the noise of Sebastian smacking the wall behind them, too shocked at what was going on to do much other than stare in horror.
"Trying to win her back, huh rich boy?" Jace growled, grabbing Sebastian by his shirt collar.
"Jace stop!" Clary screamed. A thin ribbon of blood was leaking down Sebastian's chin, dripping onto the back of Jace's hand.
"If I remember correctly, it was you who took her away from me." Sebastian laughed, then violently pushed Jace back with the flat of his palms against his chest. "Oh, and that makes it eight now." He told Clary.
"Sebastian, I'm so sorry." She apologized over Jace's shoulder.
"You're worth it, remember? I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked her.
"Like hell you will!" Jace snapped before she could answer.
"That would be great." She told him, glaring at Jace in the process. Once Sebastian had walked out of her view, she walked into her room, not caring that Jace was following her.
"Take that off," Jace growled. She looked at him with wide, incredulous eyes.
"Take what off?" She asked with a growing anger.
"His jacket, take. It. Off." He commanded with a shaking voice. Seeing it now, she could see how easy they would have gotten into a fight the day of her accident.
"Why?!" She shouted. "Why the hell do I have to listen to anything you say?!" Clary ranted. Jace flung his arms in the air, scoffing loudly and yet not looking at her
"Because, believe it or not, you're mine. And I don't want him thinking that you are in anyway his. So take that damn jacket off before I rip it off with my own fucking hands." Jace seethed.
"Who says I'm yours? That I even want to be such a thing?"
"You did, dammit! You said that you loved me, that you would always love me no matter what! Till death do us part!" Jace argued.
"You're kidding, right? Have you forgotten that none of that means anything now? I can't even remember saying that, because of you!" She said, feeling betrayed that if it weren't for him, that she wouldn't be so lost, so broken. He was the reason that she was a liability to everyone that loved her. Jace wiped the side of his face with the back of his hand, giving a heavy sniff and turned to leave.
"Jace, wait," she said, reaching out towards him. Heavy feelings of guilt blossomed in her head, and all she could think about how badly she missed him over those five years.
Wait, what? She said, not hearing the words leave her mouth.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to go fucking ninety down the highway." And he slammed the door behind him as he left. She was devastatingly confused as to what was going on. Her eyes blinked quickly, hoping to scatter any moisture that happened to be there, but it was of no use. Her thoughts spaced out, and there was a pounding in her head. And all she could see was an empty space where Jace previously stood.
"What's happening to me?" She sobbed, gripping the railing of the bed as she collapsed to her knees.
AU: So this may or may not have confused you, but during the story there are times when Clary regains her memory. I see it as when she's lucid, or herself again. It really confuses the the now Clary when there are holes in her memory, or if she did something. Little things tend to invoke this. An example is in the last chapter and she yelled at him for not waiting for her, yeah, like that.
Also, you may have noticed that she gets startled by things such as when she started a shower and how it sounded like rain to her, or someone revving up their car engine. Things like that both scare and confuse her because some part of her is unconsciously reminded of the car accident, but she doesn't remember the accident so it just makes her think she's going insane.
While reading the chapters, there are moments when she gets a flashback, but like she said, she's not reliving it and more of watching it from her own point of view. Like watching a home movie.
I know it might be frustrating that Jace and Clary are going their separate ways, but when she was driving, she kept saying how it was as if they weren't meant to be together, always facing obstacles. It all kinda depends on Jace to show her why she fell in love with him without confusing her.
So, keep up with the reviews! The quicker ya'll respond, the quicker I start the next chapters.
