Author's Note: Hello, everyone! Thanks for sticking around! Sorry that the update took so long!
Special thanks to Rouxwulf for being my first reviewer. And don't worry, I will most certainly continue, I just have to work my way through the beginning – because the rest I have already figured out ;)
Because I made a change in the timeline by having Aidan and Josh live together before they rent this house, I have to make a slight change to the time in this one also, though I don't think that this will mess up everything, so meeting renting the house and now are a bit further apart to be in tune with the full moon again.
Since this chapter, too, deals with the pilot still, I mostly use the original lines (at least I hope I quote correctly here). I do so because I found the episode strong as it is and didn't want to change it, so I want to stress the inner struggles a little more instead, but I will not always just copy the dialogs like that, rest assured^^
Anyways, I hope you'll like it. Review if you feel like it. That'd make me really happy^^
Read, review, and hopefully enjoy ;)
Being normal seems so easy. Because it's, well, normal, right? You get the groceries, you cook in your new kitchen, move out, move in, start a new life, end another. People do that everyday and no one would ever bother to question it.
Until you have to question it.
Until normalcy is at stake – and you'd do anything to simply do these things. Because, of course, you can get the groceries, even as a monster you can. That's no problem, no big deal. As a monster, you can do things just like normal people would.
But that is the crux here.
Just like normal people would.
It's almost the same, but just almost.
When people go shopping, they just don't mind. They don't care about the act. When you as a monster do the same thing, you have all those thoughts nagging at you that mean to viciously drown you in that murky black bog of inhumanity, of monsters, demons of all shapes and not-existent color. But as a monster, you will ask yourself if you pick up apples the wrong way, if people can see it in your eyes, in the way you move, talk. You are just constantly afraid that you'll be caught. That the monster seeps through the pores of your skin and consumes you.
And even if you manage somehow to push those fears out of your head, another fundamental fear remains, is buried deep within you, within your very soul, or what's left of it after the beast had its fun with it. Because even though it is torture to get the groceries, move in, move out, cook food while living with the fear of being discovered, it is living hell to realize that even that decal of a normal life can be ripped away from you.
Just almost is still better than nothing at all, right?
Decals can be nice, too.
So please, please, don't take the groceries, the moving, the cooking away.
Don't leave us monsters with nothing.
So Josh and Aidan met Sally – the Ghost. And apparently, so she revealed to them, she has been around even before they moved in, is apparently the dead fiancée of Danny, is apparently very nosy, but can't actually remember a single thing about how she died, which would help a great deal to make her move on – and according to Josh's wishes away. He knows that he is being rude and selfish in that regard, but the werewolf can't push the feelings aside that his humanity, or the tatters he was able to gather now that Aidan gave him a new perspective, could be ripped away from him again just as fast as he was able to gather them. Josh wants normal, and as a werewolf with a vampire for a roommate, it will surely be enough of a struggle already. They don't need another supernatural creature in the house to throw them off balance.
However, what puts Josh off even more than did Sally's assumption of Aidan and him going "all Twilight on each other", is actually Aidan's attitude towards that... well, problem? Because the vampire obviously doesn't see it as such. He even seems to find this amusing. Because Sally is "not his first ghost". Josh could have smacked him for the dumb smirk, as though it was a great achievement that he already knows that song, but at the same time forgot to ever mention it to his roommate. Aidan had enough time to actually meet a ghost, well, screw Josh for not having been bitten earlier to get a chance to deal around with ghosts to react as appropriately as Aidan did, showing all the ghost-courtesy you seemingly have to pay them.
Josh honestly thought that moving in together, into this house, would be their dream, or attempt to work towards it. It's not like Josh can't share Aidan. They are friends, roommates, so it's not like he gets possessive over him in any way, but Josh is not a very trustful person by nature. That he trusts Aidan is the greatest risk he has taken since... since he proposed to Julia, most likely. Josh wants to dare to trust Aidan, even though he is a vampire, even though they barely know each other. That is what he builds his card house on at this moment. However, Josh just can't afford to lose that also, this last bit of normalcy, this one friend he was able to make ever since his life was turned upside-down and made him the social outcast that he is. Josh doesn't trust people. He grew to be afraid of them because they are the painful reminder for him that he is no longer a part of this. And while he is not afraid of Aidan for some reason, the prospect of a ghost, another entity from this dark world they both try to get away from, gives Josh shivers down his spine. Sally seems likable, even for a peep-ghost, but the werewolf can't say that he really trusts her. Because he can't even trust himself to begin with.
Josh just can't understand that Aidan would seriously risk what they already have, this tiny bud that may bloom to humanity someday, to... what? Josh doesn't even know what Aidan wants with her. Perhaps the vampire is more of a Samaritan after all, someone who picks up strays and gives them a place, as a way of redemption. Though Josh never really took Aidan for the type. And at some point the werewolf sincerely hopes that this is not the state of affairs. Josh wants to be friends with Aidan, and not just... the latest project of showing goodwill, only to move on to the next poor devil who may be in greater need of support.
Josh can't afford to lose more friends, generally lose more than he already did.
So yeah, he doesn't want a haunted house.
So yeah, he just wants to return to being roommates with Aidan, alone.
So yeah, he is selfish, but Josh doesn't really care.
"So you're okay with a ghost living in our house?" Josh questions his roommate as they walk down the corridors of the hospital. This might be his only chance to convince Aidan to rather... get rid of the problem.
"You do realize that technically it's her house," the vampire corrects him. Josh desperately holds back the comment that it's technically theirs, because they pay for it, for goodness sake! Just because she can't move on doesn't mean that this is no longer their place, their home, right?
Right?!
"Look, I'm sorry that she died and she never got married and, and she doesn't know how to move on, but seriously, I mean, the whole point of this house was having one place where monsters aren't, where you don't have to apologize or hide or think about what we are. Where we can eat pizza, or pretend to eat pizza, where we can be human for, like, just an hour or two," Josh argues, his voice sadder towards the end than he had wanted to. He doesn't always want to be the emotional sap here.
"And from what I know about ghosts, a ghost isn't a ghost without a reason. Sally, everything she knows about ghosts seems to come from Whoopi Goldberg. She knows nothing, Josh. Would you please give her a chance to find her way?" Aidan argues, because he honestly doesn't get it that Josh is so upset about it. Okay, it's of course always something to process to learn about a new monster species. Aidan give shim that much, but even when Josh learned about his vampirism, Josh quickly adapted to that and curiosity won. What happened to that spirit? And it honestly surprises him that Josh, who even sticks around hospital after his shift to talk to patients who don't receive visitors, is now acting so selfishly when they are having someone in front of them who is facing yet another facet of that darkness. They all just want to move on with their lives.
Why doesn't Josh understand that?
"Where the hell are we?"Josh asks, looking around. Aidan doesn't just play Ghost Whisperer, but now drags him to the weird parts of the hospital, this is really getting out of hand.
"They just cleared this place out for expansion, but that could take years. It's perfect, isn't it? You can change down here," Aidan explains, now with a pang of pride in his voice. The idea came to him a little while ago, and he was honestly proud of himself for the epiphany.
Josh blinks at him incredulously, "Into a crazy person?"
"Step one, we got an apartment, but if you really want to do this, have a chance of having a normal life, you gotta find a reliable way to deal with your transformation. So, Step Two, your own personal...," Aidan explains, and Josh completes in a mute voice, "Cage..."
Aidan grimaces to himself. Maybe the idea was not that great after all, even if the functional aspect surely has its benefits, but the way Josh puts it, it sounds as though Aidan really wants to imprison him for, well, his nature. And that couldn't be further from the truth. The only reason that Aidan ever wasted a thought on this was because Josh complained about being in the woods, digesting deer and bringing it back up along with a pair of pants, and the ever-present fear of coming too close to humans and curse them, too.
"It works though, doesn't it? You could use it for the next full moon," Aidan says nevertheless, hoping that Josh sees the upside of the plan.
"Does it lock?" the younger man questions, looking around. Aidan breaks off the handle and locks the door.
"Try it," he says from the other side of the door. Josh does and in fact it stays shut.
"I can let you out in the mornings," Aidan tells him as he opens the door again. Josh exits the room with mixed feelings. He is glad for the idea, but something just tells him that this may not be the best idea after all...
Josh hastily makes his way to the house, and yes, he refers to it as "the house" until decided otherwise, because it feels less like home ever since... ever since, yes, that ghost showed up in their lives. After all, Aidan even says that it's technically her home.
Maybe Josh should just move out after all.
He might even have to, after what or rather whom he saw during the shift, but at this moment, he can't really decide on anything leading further into the future than a second, because Josh just feels like crying, drinking himself to oblivion, and hopefully falling asleep to forget about all of it by the next sunrise.
"You're home!" Sally exclaims as the brunet werewolf makes his way inside, though he seems to pretty much ignore her, only muttering, "Yep," as he goes.
Sally understands that maybe they didn't have the greatest start, okay, it was the worst start actually, for Josh seemingly. And okay, she may have been a little rude... especially the masturbating to Nova may not have been her brightest moment. Sally gets it. To suddenly have a ghost haunting your house is not exactly what she would picture for her life either, but... but this is her first shot at having interaction with other people again, of getting out of this treadmill, out of this stage of in-between. Even Josh should be able to see that and... well, take some pity? Show some empathy? Is that really asked too much?!
"So, I've been thinking about what you said, you know, and...I think I should try to move on," she hums.
"Great," Josh says curtly. Just why can't she stop talking?! Josh just wants to be alone, alone after... God, no. He just wants to crawl up in his bed, shut his eyes, shut his ears, kill all sound, all the voices in his head.
And suddenly jumping off some bridge seems so tempting again.
"So, I just need you to call Danny, tell him to come over, fix the pipes, and, uh, I'll take it from there," she bargains. Josh is about to leave, but Sally means to block him, "Josh, if you could call Danny..."
The werewolf proceeds into the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge.
"Can it wait?" he asks, trying to keep up a strong voice, though it comes out more croaked than he would like it to.
"It'll take two seconds," Sally bargains. So fine, Josh obviously doesn't really like her yet, but a phone call should me manageable, right? It's not like she is asking him for a séance or so, it's just a phone call. Just a phone call, something that other people, people with a body, do unnecessarily too often anyways.
"I just want to be alone. And see, this is the problem. You're always here, so I can never be alone," Josh tells her. He would feel a lot more empathy for her if not for this overall messy situation, he knows, but right now... he can't focus on her. Josh can't focus on anything. His head hurts so hard that he can feel this throbbing behind his eyeballs, like small hammers relentlessly beating against his eyes, forcing tears out that he tries to keep down.
"Where am I supposed to go?" Sally argues. She told him, right?! She can't go away, no matter how hard she tries. Sally is bound to this house, is woven into its walls, floors, its furniture.
Sadly, this house is her and she is this house.
"I don't know. Beyond? I, I, I don't," Josh stammers. Just away, just... so that he can be alone. There is only so much Josh can take, only so many problems he can deal with... and he is just past his own limits, by far. He can't deal with Aidan's and Sally's problems on tops.
"Yes, please. Like I'd rather be shacking up with a vampire," Sally breaks out angrily, before nodding at Josh's beer bottle. "And, oh yeah, a day drinker. Josh, I was gonna get my Master's, and now I have nothing to read but stupid blogs over your shoulder. I've tried to leave. I don't know how."
Does he seriously think that she wants this? That she does this on purpose? Sally would love to have Danny as her savior, to have him see her, feel her, and not those two other monsters. Because the relief the young woman felt when those two first saw her is now washed away further and further the more she gets into touch with them. Sally honestly thought that they, that this werewolf, would be more willing to help, would understand, but it's seemingly the case that everyone is just too selfish to mind other people and their pains.
Maybe they are not her saviors after all.
"Then figure it out, Sally. Figure it out, okay? Because I," Josh brings out, but then stops himself before sharing yet another secret he is not yet ready for to share, especially not with the house ghost. "My life sucks enough without having to live in your purgatory."
He knows it's mean, he knows that this hurts, sizzles, but... but he can't help himself. Josh is suffocating and this ghost just keeps poking in his side. Josh is just tying to somehow come back to the surface, so he can't really care if he doesn't smack some people across the face as he paddles back up... unless he allows himself to sink and drown.
"You're right. I have stuff to work out," Sally exhales.
"Poof," Josh snorts.
"You don't know how lucky you are!" Sally cries out angrily.
Josh lets out a bitter chuckle, "Lucky. Right, yeah."
He – lucky. Right. Josh and lucky don't go in the same sentence unless lucky is negated. Because only Josh is so lucky to be turned into a werewolf, losing everything he had, everything he worked for, all the people important in his life, ends up with a vampire in a shabby haunted house where a ghost is bugging him out of his mind when he has much more urgent business, greater problems, problems within the problems.
Only he has his little sister walking around the hospital – after he left her in good faith to never see her again. Josh has his past crushing over his present. he is back to his own personal nightmare. Just so lucky is Josh. So no, he doesn't care about Sally missing Danny or making phone calls in her name so that she can have her sweet escape.
"Whatever's going on with you, at least you have the chance to fix it. It's a bad bump on the otherwise ongoing road of your life. I can't do anything. I can't change anything. I can't even drink a beer to make myself feel better. So just go on your pansy-ass mopey kick, but at least have the decency to appreciate that you haven't dropped off a cliff to nowhere," she yells angrily before she dissolves.
"How did you manage to make this about you?" Josh mutters to himself, blinking.
Meanwhile, Aidan is still in the hospital. After he heard from Cara that the police is around asking questions about Rebecca, the vampire decided to quickly make his way into the cafeteria to get over with the "interrogation", which is actually pretty much a farce when there is one human sitting next to a vampire, the vampire. Because he just has to mumble some sweet things so the other man lets it go. Even though Aidan hates manipulation, it has its advantages that their species has the power to compel people – and the other vampire is probably the best at it, which is why Officer Tim soon "decided" to go to the car, firm in the belief that Aidan can't possibly have anything to do with Rebecca's disappearance, which now leaves Aidan with... Bishop.
Because that is just what he needed, even though the younger vampire didn't have illusions about this – he knew this would come eventually, so better get over with it now, right? Aidan simply hopes he can wrap this up quickly, and preferably without Josh's notice. If he wants to have a shot at normal, it is with this werewolf, and there is enough other trouble than the mistake Aidan made with Rebecca.
"Good to see you back, Aidan," Bishop smirks at him as Officer Tim finally heads his ways.
"I'm not back, Bishop," Aidan warns him. No, never again, at least not if he can help it somehow. He now has the prospect of a life that's worth being lived. And that life explicitly excludes the older vampire in all ways possible. And even if Aidan knows that it won't be forever, he shall be damned if he doesn't try anything to have this life, for how many years that is now.
"Really? Coz Marcus said that girl was so torn up, you could read the VIN number off her ribs," Bishop argues.
"Marcus is an ass," Aidan snorts.
"Maybe," the older vampire shrugs, but then puts on this unsettling smile again. "God, Aidan! It's been months."
"I've been busy," Aidan shrugs. Busy getting away from him, busy living, busy... trying to be human, at least.
"I can see that. You look horrible," Bishop nods, now glancing at him with empathy.
"Thank you," Aidan huffs. "Look, I would take it as a personal favor if you would make this thing disappear. Please."
And how much he hates himself for this. Even now that he got away from the coven, away from the den, this man, this godforsaken vampire, manages to pull him back, little by little, again and again. Whenever Aidan makes one wrong move, one bad call, one wrong step, Bishop is already waiting in the shadows to take up on that cue – and do anything to make Aidan stumble and fall, just to pick him back up. That is just the sick game they have played over the last decades. Bishop wants to own Aidan, wants to own his life, his mind.
And sadly, for as long as Aidan makes wrong steps, turns the wrong direction once upon a time, he gives Bishop any chance to start the old game anew. The only way to get rid of Bishop is to either kill him, or to break the habit of... being a monster. That is the only possible way to manage this.
If only either option were that easy...
"I will. Well, I would, but it's not as easy as all that this time. See, coz everybody seems to know that Rebecca had a thing for Aidan, so it's Rebecca and Aidan, Aidan and Rebecca," Bishop assures him. "We'll get through it. We always do. Always will."
Aidan closes his eyes for a moment. He hears this song too often, this siren's song. Because that is what means his downfall each time. Fine, so he isn't alone, because there are other vampires, there is an entire network behind Bishop and therefore behind him, too. And actually, the problem is that this makes it possible that they get through with it – they get through with killing people and covering up the evidence. If you know that you can easily remove the evidence, then where is the point in trying not to do it, right?
So yes, if Aidan ever wants to come clean, he has to neglect them, step out of that comfort zone, he knows it, just that... Just that this is still, in that sick twisted sense, his family. They are the people he calls up if he messes up, because they can deal with it. Because no matter how ashamed Aidan feels for doing the inhuman, for killing, for calling up Marcus or Bishop to clean up his mess, Aidan doesn't want to pay that kind of price, doesn't want to go to prison. He repents in his own way, by helping the sick, but that's just it.
He can't be honest, or Aidan loses that bit of life he has, too.
"I'm not back, Bishop. What happened with Rebecca was a mistake," Aidan warns the older vampire, because he really has no intention to go back. He wants to break away, finally.
Because he now has the prospect of... A new family. One that keeps him human, not a monster.
"Right, happens to all of us. Somewhere between the Tiramisu and the naughty bits, we lose our heads," Bishop smirks. "It wasn't a mistake, Aidan. You're a shark. Be a shark."
"Not anymore," Aidan shakes his head. He once believed in those words, made them his own slogan. He was a shark, a predator. Bishop seemingly doesn't even realize how well that actually fits: sharks are not only dangerous predators who have strong reactions to blood and sharp teeth, but it is that danger of lashing out, of losing it, that makes them so hated in the eyes of most people, and therefore deems them as monsters, even if they may not all be bad on the inside. Because it is... instinct. Nevertheless, Aidan doesn't want this anymore. Because it was a mistake, it is a mistake. And he is done being the shark that either gets ignored or is hated by the world he wants to be part of.
"Alright, Marcus mentioned your little blood-bank diet. How's that going?" Bishop smirks, to which Aidan gets up from his seat – he knows damn well what this is about, and Aidan is honestly fed up with it, but that is when Bishop reveals his other face, the truer face, the one behind the nice smile and words of care, "Sit down! And how many years you played at my feet, and now I don't even get basic common courtesy? Huh?"
Aidan slumps back down in his seat. That is an instinct too deeply embedded into his body and mind. When Bishop orders him to do something using that tone, he means it, means it. Aidan searches the older man's eyes, just to find that fake concern again, "I'm worried about you."
"I'm fine," Aidan snorts.
"Well, you don't look fine," the older vampire argues.
"What do you want from me, Bishop? You want help with your little recruiting plan?" Aidan huffs, changing the topic abruptly.
"Who said anything about recruiting?" Bishop asks innocently, to which Aidan only lets out another huff, "Marcus told me everything."
"Forget about Marcus. What I care about is you," Bishop assures him.
"No, what you care about is control," Aidan corrects him. Because he knows that behind all those assurances of care and love, Bishop is just another bloody bastard who needs others to set his own character, to actually exist. If he didn't have control over others, he would have no control at all, over himself, over his urges. Because he is just a monster also.
"The changes that I've made, the life that I'm trying to live, oh, you can't stand that, can you?" Aidan smirks at him viciously.
"Okay. Would you put yourself in my shoes for a second? You don't call. You don't write. You move in with a werewolf," Bishop argues. Aidan can't keep the surprise out of his face and voice, "How did you know that?"
He didn't tell anyone of the community that he moved in with Josh, he actually didn't talk to anyone, safe for the phone call to have his mess cleaned up, and that brief conversation with Marcus little while ago in the hospital.
"I think you have no idea what you're up to. I think you're lost. I think if you're not careful, you may never find your way back again. And that, Aidan, that worries me," Bishop tells him. Aidan shakes his head to keep the sirens out of his head, so he asks in a low voice, "Is that all?"
He won't discuss that with Bishop, he won't call this new life into question, he won't allow Bishop to dissect it, and far more importantly: to dissect his friend in such a way.
"Would you believe that making you angrier was not the point of all this?" the older vampire asks, to which Aidan replies with a snort, "Bishop, you can forget about it."
He closed that chapter. He started a new one, with Josh.
"Huh, Aidan! It's cold out there without us, isn't it?" Bishop smirks as Aidan gets up to leave.
And the younger vampire tries hard not to nod because no matter how much comfort he finds at home... he fears that the security net Bishop offers him will disappear, and that despite the fact that it means to consume him whenever he falls on it.
Back at the hospital, Josh tries to distract himself with work. Because no matter how much he wanted to just stay in bed or jump off some bridge, he rather puts his frustration, anger and fear to better use. Work. That usually helps. At least all the running up and down the corridors makes the throbbing stabs in his chest obscured by the stitches the hustling gives him. In his frenzy, he doesn't even pay attention to whatever room he enters to work in, until he opens this one door he should have jumped away from. Because Josh just walked in on his sister kissing a girl, no a patient... and so Emily turns around before Josh can mysteriously dissolve into thin air... just how much he envies Sally at this moment.
"Sorry!" he cries out, not knowing what else to say or do. He means to turn away quickly. Maybe she didn't recognize him yet, right?! However, that tiny bit of hope is crushed once she turns to him with huge eyes, "Josh?!"
He really should have stayed home...
And so the two siblings soon find themselves sitting on a bench in the hospital's park, nervously shuffling with their feet, fidgeting for words, for an intro, for something right to say, when in fact there is nothing right to say about it. It shouldn't happen. It shouldn't be that way.
And still it is.
"Where did you go?" Emily asks, taking the initiative.
"You found me. Here we are," Josh shrugs, trying hard not to make his voice quiver.
"I wasn't looking for you. Jackie broke her arm 'shrooming'," the young woman explains.
"Jackie, she's... That's your, uh...," Josh grimaces, so Emily scaffolds, "My girlfriend?"
"Right," Josh nods.
"Yeah," the younger sister confirms.
"And her arm's okay?" Josh asks hesitantly.
"I missed you," she says instead, her voice soft, just as soft as Josh remembers it to be.
"I miss you too," Josh replies, trying hard not just hold her close and never let go again. Because leaving his beloved baby sister was about the worst thing about taking off altogether. Of course he loves and misses his entire family and friends, but Josh and Emily always shared a special kind of relationship, one that he always prided himself with. And she was one of the greatest temptations for him to seek to go back. Josh can't remember how many times he stood in telephone booths or dialed her number on either his house phone or his cell, but once he heard the dialing tone, hung up again. He wanted to say so many things, but couldn't.
"So... ?" Emily grimace, hoping that this will somehow bring her older brother to talk to her, but no such luck, of course. She knows him for just that.
"So... how is everybody?" Josh asks, to which Emily retorts angrily, "Everybody? You mean your family? We've been freaking out for the past two years, wondering if you were dead or alive. Whatever is happening, how can you not say anything to the people who love you?"
"Why would you...," Josh means to say, but then gathers himself again, keep them away to keep them safe, wasn't it? "I told you not to worry about me."
"Oh right, your note. Josh, did you ever think that the one thing not to say to Jewish parents is 'don't worry'?" Emily hollers angrily. He can't be serious, can he? Josh flashes an uncertain smile, but Emily remains unimpressed, "Please. Please, just tell me what's going on with you."
"You wouldn't understand," Josh sighs. He would love to tell her, because she probably believes that he left because he doesn't care about them anymore, which couldn't be further from the truth, of course. He had to leave because he cares. No matter how sick that is in itself.
"Try," she challenges him, but Josh just shakes his head, "You wouldn't. It's complicated."
It's actually quite simple. And therein lies the problem: it's so simple, so basic, so elemental that it hurts even worse. It's not complicated in the sense of "complicated" the way most people understand it. It's not about family feuds, that someone once said the wrong thing at a party. It's not about secret affairs, having a secret bank account, losing one's job. It's not about some illegitimate child, it's about that simple and plain fear that if Josh stuck around, he would have ended up killing his family, his beloved baby sister. That is not complicated. It's simple, just that saying it and explaining it is complicated. Because how do you tell your little sister, that sweetest thing on earth, whom you walked to school, played chaperone for, did tea parties with, that you are a monster, a real one? That you kill, that you are drenched in blood, that you are... no longer human?
"Josh, I'm your sister. I'm genetically inclined to love you unconditionally. But I thought we were also friends," Emily argues, her voice teary. Josh bites his lower lip to the point that he can taste copper. They were best friends, for siblings. Fine, they always buttheaded, but they loved each other, love each other. And to see her hurt makes Josh want to rip out his own heart. It is as she says, they are genetically inclined to love each other unconditionally.
Just that there actually seems to be one condition: Fine, you can love, against all odds, you can love a monster, but that doesn't mean you should. That doesn't mean you must. Emily mustn't love him unconditionally. She mustn't love him, so that she stays away from him. And if that means he has to neglect her... then this is seemingly the price. Because Josh just can't afford to physically lose her to his darkness. Emily is his baby sister. She has a bright life ahead of her. He will not make her a victim of his dark decal-life.
"I'm happy to see you. Believe it or not, I've really... really missed you. But I kind of need you not to tell anyone that you saw me here," Josh tells her, his skin throbbing painfully. It's so much more difficult than the note – because he didn't have to look into those beautiful deep eyes, those eyes obscured by tears, by anger, and sadness.
"What would I tell them anyway? This has been the least satisfying reunion ever," Emily cries out angrily. Josh gets up, "I love you. Okay, Em? Just... I don't know. Just try to remember that."
He loves her so much that he has to hurt her. For as long as he hurts her, the wolf can't. And that even though Josh promised to himself ever since the day Emily was born that he would never mean her harm, but protect her from it. It's just so damn unfair, just unfair. Josh walks away, rubbing his eyes against the prickles of tears.
He doesn't want to hurt her anymore. Is that really asked too much?!
Emily simply remains seated on the bench, wide-eyed.
That is not how she imagined their reunion.
After work, Aidan makes his way back home. He didn't get to talk to Josh the entire day. He didn't even turn up for lunch.
Maybe Josh knows about something about what really went on with him and Rebecca?
At some point, Aidan still negotiates with himself if he shouldn't come clean to his roommate about what happened. He made a phone call to her mother today, to make her stop searching for her daughter, putting up posters in the hope that those sheets of paper will just miraculously bring her back, just that Aidan knows that she won't.
Because she is dead – because of him.
Aidan knows that he can't keep it from Josh for forever. Josh knows that she is missing, and he asked about her on occasion also, though Aidan usually managed to maneuver out of the conversation by turning to another topic. Actually, that Sally turned up worked in Aidan's favor at some point – because it surely kept Josh distracted. However, Aidan starts to realize that he is only repeating patterns by not telling the truth. Isn't that what he tries to get away from, too?
However, Aidan is pulled out of his musing by the siren's voice, as suddenly Bishop appears. "You need to see something."
What?" Aidan asks with a grimace.
"You're a lot sloppier than you used to be Aidan. The girl, they know it was you," Bishop tells him. Aidan stares, but then decides to get into the man's car. Then coming clean to Josh will have to wait until later, well, damn. Yet, much to Aidan's surprise and shock, he soon finds himself entering the blood den, that one place he wanted to stay away from.
"What are we doing here? You told me this was about Rebecca," Aidan demands.
"I took care of that. It's fine," Bishop assures him with a vicious smirk tugging at his lips.
"I can't be here," Aidan grunts. No, he can already smell it, the blood that is actually pumping in veins, is warm, is fresh, and not just this unmoving, cold, bitter-tasting stuff from the blood bags...
Just a bloody addict after all, aren't we, Mr. Waite?
"It breaks me up to see you this way, Aidan. You can understand that, right? I gave you eternal life. I want you to live it," Bishop tells him, but Aidan corrects him, "No, you want me to fall in line."
"I'm not gonna lie to you. I never have. Things are about to change. But that's neither here nor there. What's important is this: Life doesn't have to be so hard. Not for us. Come with me, Aidan," Bishop coos.
And Aidan follows him, no longer feeling his feet touching the ground until he is inside, overwhelmed by the smell of fresh blood so that he gets goosebumps allover.
"Welcome back, Mr. Aidan," the vampire-butler greets him.
He stumbled, he fell... and now Bishop picks him up to bring him here.
It's always the same game, isn't it?
And so Aidan shrugs out of his jacket, the pumping veins singing him a soothing lullaby as he enters one of the small pavilions, offering little privacy for the beautiful "bloodwhore", someone who deliberately offers blood to vampires for the rush, and him as she cuts her wrist open, and therefore cutting Aidan open also. He only sees the blood. His eyes turn black and he gives in to his urges, falling off the wagon once again. Bishop watches bemused. The sirens do their job outright.
At the same time, Josh is facing another demon, however with the same intention, of seeing him fall. Upon Aidan's suggestion, he went downstairs to his own "Cage" to safely get over with the damned transformation. Unbeknown to him, however, Emily followed her older brother downstairs. Josh is about to strip out of his clothes when he catches sight of her, "What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here?" Emily asks with a grimace. Maybe her brother is into some really kinky stuff after all?! Hanging out in basements, undressing...
"You have to leave! You have to leave!" Josh urges her. Oh God, no, that can't be happening! He sent her away so that this doesn't happen. He allowed her to hate him so that this doesn't come about. God, no, please. Please, just please. Please!
"Two years of nothing, and you can't even talk to me? No way! No!" the younger woman curses.
"No, no, no! Look, look, I'll, uh... I'll come see you. I'll come see you. I promise. I just need to be... I need to be alone right now," Josh stammers. He can feel it. His body itches, burns. He is close to turning. And Emily is still not out of here!
"I know why you ran away, Josh, okay? You think I'm an idiot? Everything was ahead of you, cookie-cutter perfect, just like Mom and Dad. You panicked. I get it. You're not nearly as mysterious as you think you are," she huffs. People get cold feet all the time, even though her brother took it to a new level by staying away for so long.
"All right, I hear you. I really do," Josh mutters closing his eyes. Even though he doesn't. He can hear the howls inside his head, the howls that haunt him ever since he turned.
Please, just please!
"Why punish me? You were my best friend. Why shut me out?" Emily demands.
"Look, Emily, I told you it's comp- It's complicated and," Josh grunts as the pain consumes him, as his body starts to shatter into pieces, along with his soul.
"Are you sick?" she asks worriedly. He seems in pain.
"I'm sorry. Just go," Josh demands, holding his midsection. Why can't she just leave?! Why can't God just make her leave?! Josh doesn't care if he gets mercy, but at least show mercy for her, please!
"What are you doing?" she shrieks.
"You have to go!" Josh growls.
"Josh!" Emily curses, shutting the door.
No way he escapes from her right now.
"Oh no!" Josh cries out.
No way she escapes from him right now.
Josh nervously fumbles for his phone, almost dropping it to the ground as the convulsions shake him. That is his last resort. His last straw. He hears the dialing tone, waits, waits... just where is he?! Aidan should be home by now. He should be home, picking up the damn phone, and even if not, he should answer his goddamn cellphone!
"Come on, Aidan. Please! Please. Ah!"
Why doesn't the man answer his phone, for goodness sake!? Emily's life is at stake! Maybe it was just wishful thinking after all, that someone would come help him when it really counted. He leaves a voicemail nevertheless, before he lets out another grunt as he dials in the next number. If not for the pain shaking him, he would probably see the irony at whom he is calling, after all he said and didn't do.
"Let me help you!" Emily says, trying to get to him, but Josh steps away from her.
"Stay away from me!" he cries out. "You stay away from me."
Finally, he hears the cracking sound on the other end of the line, "Sally. Sally. Are you home? Can you hear me? Please, listen to me. If there's any chance, any way you can leave the house, any way you can find Aidan or find me, tell-tell him I'm in the roo- the room and my sister's here. And the door's locked. He'll-he'll know what that means. Please. Listen, if... Please, if you don't come, if someone doesn't open that door... I will kill her. Sally, please."
If she manages to contact Aidan, Josh will take it all back, call Danny, play Ghost-chaperone, anything. However, before he can go on with his pleading, his transformation gets him back, and he is bound to scream atop of his lungs, Emily calling out to him as he writhes in pain and sheer terror.
On the other end of the line, in the house, stands Sally, her eyes wide. She should have listened to Josh – because that was the trouble that had him so upset that he drank in bright day. That his sister came back. Oh, for goodness sake! And she could have told Aidan when he was home before, because if Aidan knew, he surely would have answered the phone by now. Whatever anger she may have felt for the werewolf, it now morphs into resolution.
Maybe she was blind also, by not seeing the others' pains.
Sally steps over to the door. She has to help, somehow.
Even if they are not the saviors she had pictured... they are her... roommates, right?
Sally concentrates as hard as she can, trying to push down the doorknob, open that door, and get help, but once her hand makes contact with the metal object, her fingers just brush through it.
And not once did she feel as caged as she does at this moment. Because now... life is actually at stake, not hers, but that of another person, of someone who is important to Josh, who is important to her, no way to deny it.
Just where is Aidan?!
Back at the basement, Josh is on the verge of transformation. He rolled on his side in the hope that if he lies still and concentrates, it will somehow keep the transformation from happening. Emily tries to touch him, to offer reassurance, but Josh can do nothing but shove her away. He hates to hurt her, to cause bruises, pain, but it's better than claw marks. Anything is better than claw marks.
"Josh ? You're scaring me," Emily whimpers. Just what his happening here?!
"Just stay away from me!" Josh goes on in his mantra. Stay away from me. I'm a monster. Stay away, stay safe. Please. Please. Please!
"Do you want me to... Can I get you help?" she asks.
"Stay away from me!" Josh yells, growling, covering his already canine hands, trying to hold the claws from extending, trying to contain the beast.
Please, wolf, I know that we are on no good terms, but don't rip apart my sister. Tear me to shreds, but not her. Please, please, please, not her.
Aidan, where are you!?
Aidan falls back on the comfy bed, a wicked smirk tugging at his lips as the blood rushes his system, bringing him back to life, or death, actually, but he doesn't care. Aidan hears nothing, sees nothing, only tastes, smells. He can finally breathe again. The vampire smirks to himself, but then something faint, something so small, actually, starts to fight its way through the red haze inside his head. A sound. His cellphone. His cellphone beeps. Just for how long? Aidan blinks...
Right...
There was something...
There was this outside world, the one outside the blood, the red... wasn't it?
Brown orbs. Red envelopes. Windows at sunrise. Floral patterned dresses. Printouts in lockers. Boxes. A loose floor board. Spatulas. The hospital. A shabby haunted house with the invisible label of "home".
Friends, trying to be... what was it?
Human. Yeah, right...
Josh. Sally. His dream.
And at that thought, Aidan instantly sobers, the onyx, his inner demon, going back into the box. He leaves that small tent, those silky sheets trying to imitate the silk he saw in those windows back in Josh's old apartment, faking hope. Aidan puts his things back on and doesn't even care how disappointed Bishop looks behind the mask of self-consciousness. Aidan sees him saying something, but doesn't hear it.
So Aidan stumbled, so Aidan fell, and Bishop picked him up to here to make him fall again, but Aidan, for the first time, has something to return to, something worth to struggle back to his feet on his own. And so he picks himself back up this time and exits, goes away, without looking back. He will fix this, he will work on this – because with his new life, Aidan thinks he can.
Once he made his way outside, feeling the piercing cold of the night cling on to his skin, washing off the last bit of blood's heat, takes out his cellphone, the little anchor to bring him back to reality. However, he is shocked at what he hears, "Aidan, I'm in the room. It's locked, and Emily's here. If you get this, please..."
Aidan stares, but then simply runs ahead the fastest he can. He can't lose his anchor to his cravings. He can't allow that Josh loses Emily to his cravings.
He just can't afford to lose Josh.
Aidan rushes downstairs to come to the "Cage" he prepared for his friend – and regrets that he ever brought this up. He makes it to the door and opens, only to see Josh cowering on the ground, writhing in pain, and Emily only inches from him, trying to touch him. Aidan doesn't waste just one more second and tears her away from her brother and brings her out of the room, in the same motion shutting that godforsaken door. He barely hears her cries and pleas as she slides down the other wall. Instead, he looks inside, where Josh is now crouching, on the verge of becoming a beast. Their eyes meet. Brown clashes with black, the words left unspoken.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
You came.
I should've come sooner.
In time.
Almost too late.
Aidan watches in sadness and terror as Josh's body is torn to pieces by that evil monster devouring him from the inside out, feeling the werewolf's pain tugging at his own skin.
Did they lose too much?
Is there a home to return to, or is everything over already?
Did they fall too hard?
Are they all just monsters with nothing left?
