Chapter 4: Past Demons


Sachi here! I's my turn to do "Update Thursday"! Sorry for the wait, I moved and had a looooong battle with Comcast about my internet. It was legendary. But we're back now!

A few IMPORTANT notes on this chapter: This one has some strong mentions of past physical and mental abuse. We're not adding the "Rape/non-con" tag in the story because it's never going to be in the story itself. It will be mentioned throughout this chapter, and possibly a few more times in later chapters, but never in any detail whatsoever. I thought it was fitting to put this here for anyone who might be uncomfortable! (Of course we have to go into these darker things on MY chapter. Also be mindful of the rating change and the tags throughout the story)


"Stupid fucking dipshit, don't just stand there! And is that a smile I see on your face?! Get the fuck over here!"

For the record, your name isn't 'stupid fucking duipshit', but Karkat has always had a flair with words. You're Jake English, and you move toward the irritated demon and untangle him from his own sweater. It's pretty comical, actually. If it wasn't so ridiculously oversized, you doubt he'd have managed to have his arm slip into the neck hole at an angle he can't seem to work with, but he's always been pretty tiny, so you decide not to mention his taste in clothes, and instead go with your other most pressing question.

"Why in the world are you here?" you ask, shoving his elbow down. He bends it like it's hurting, and then glares at you like it's your fault.

"I was summoned you floundering meat sack," he scowls. He stands up and looks miserably at his even more stretched out sweater, the neck of it loosely draping over one of his shoulders.

"Summoned? You?" You can't help it, you laugh into your fist, not even dodging when he charges at you.

"Let me tell you something, Jake fucking human English! Do you think I was sitting there and saying, 'wow I sure hope I get called to the shitty human realm tonight so I can see the most useless fucking dicklark in the universe'? No, okay, I was with Sollux and a fucking portal appeared under his chair, which I happened to be near, and then the next thing I know, here we are in Bumfuck Nowhere. So you can take your stupid big toothed smile and shove it up your own sweltering human ass, alright, I didn't ask for this!"

"I- I know, it's just—!" You keep laughing, mindful of the fact that he's literally turning as red as a tomato in his fury. But in your defense, he's always pretty angry about one thing or another. It's not a feat to get him this mad. "It's just that it was a group of silly teenagers who summoned you! They've already been scared away!"

"I sure hope so, or I'd have to bash their heads together." Karkat sighs loudly and gives you a scrutinizing look. "You sure look happy. At least one of us isn't feeling like complete shit."

"Oh, come now, Karkat, it's not all bad! It's a nice night at least! And besides, you could probably do with getting out a bit! Sollux is the fellow who is constantly on his computer, yes?"

"Don't even get me started on the long list of things that are wrong with Sollux Captor." He ruffles his hand through your hair before pushing your head away, shoving you right along with it. That's the Karkat version of affection. "He was doing some programming help for—" he pauses and looks up at you. And that's when you notice his expression change.

You've known him for a long, long time. He was the first demon you ever met, actually. Your grandmother was always having people in and out of the house, collecting extra money with her seances and her exorcism services. But Karkat has always been her friend, and by extension, your friend as well. You were tiny when you first learned of Derse, the realm of demons. And you were never really frightened of it, partially because of Karkat.

He's not like Dirk. You can look at him and tell he's not human. His skin has a gray hue to it, his eyes a yellowish color with red pupils. His teeth are sharp, every last one of them, and he lets you see them more often than not when he opens his mouth to yell at you. And in spite of all of these things, he helped you with your little kid issues that your grandmother was too busy for, like making blanket forts and playing adventurer with you. You were never scared of Derse and its inhabitants. Not until—well. Not for a long time.

You smile at him and pull him into a hug, which he verbally objects to, but returns like he always does.

"Gramma can probably fix your sweater," you tell him, wondering if that's what he's concerned about.

"Oh, fuck this sweater anyway. Is Jade still up? Since I'm here I might as well go see her," he says, looking over his shoulder. "Come on let's go. Let's go now."

"Yes, you haven't in ages! I'm sure she'd love to see you! Let me just go get..." You trail off when you notice he's not listening.

Karkat looks around again with wide eyes, and this time you know he's concerned about something.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes," he says. Then he scowls and shakes his head. "Jake, you know I hate mentioning this to you since I know what it does to you...but Caliborn—"

"Don't." It takes you a moment to comprehend that word came from you without you even realizing you were speaking. "Please. Just Don't."

"He was the one asking for Sollux's help with some computer bullshit. Well, fuck that, he was demanding it. He was in the room with us."

Your blood runs cold and despite being in a huge graveyard it feels as though it's closing in on you. "He—he's here? He's here now?"

"I don't know," Karkat says. "But he might be."

Karkat is a very low level demon, and you've never met Sollux but you're assuming he is, too. Caliborn isn't. Caliborn is the biggest mistake you've ever made.

You'd been studying some of your grandmother's spell books. It was a little over two years ago, when her health first started to decline. You were already working at the coffeehouse, but you wanted to do all you could to take some responsibility off of her, so you were trying to learn all of her techniques. That was when you accidentally summoned him.

To this day, you're still uncertain why he answered your call. He's so strong—so evil. Until him, you'd never seen such a dark side of Derse. He hovered over you and smiled wickedly, looking you up and down. And that was all it took.

For an entire year, he tortured you. It was under the guise of a relationship, though it was never of the romantic variety. Unfortunately, it was physical. Extremely so. And you never had a choice. You never wanted him, but he didn't care. He'd threatened your weakened grandmother, getting off even more so on your fear and panic. You couldn't tell anyone, especially your grandmother. The only one to ever know was Karkat, and he didn't find out until it was finally over.

You stare at him in fear, finally finding your voice. "I—I can't go..."

"Jake," he begins, "we have to—"

"No! You don't understand!" Your voice is high and panicked, your breaths coming faster. "My boyfriend is here and I can't leave him!"

Even in this extreme situation, you can't help but feel your stomach flip a little when you call Dirk your boyfriend.

You look around frantically, your body buzzing with adrenaline. You feel Karkat's hand on your shoulder but it's doing nothing to calm you down. Which way did Dirk go?! You have no way of finding him! You can't sense him and since Karkat is a weaker demon, he can't either.

"Jake, fuck, calm down!" Karkat grabs you around the waist and wrestles you to stand still. "Panicking isn't going to solve a goddamn thing!" He looks at you fiercely, "I'm not gonna let him do anything to you, okay? So calm the fuck down!"

You try to do as he says, knowing you're not helping anything. "Okay...okay I'm—I'm trying."

"Good. Sollux is in this trash pit of a graveyard somewhere, too. I like three against one much better if that bastard is here."

"Four," you say quietly. "Dirk is a demon, too. He'll be more useful that I could be."

"Dirk?" Karkat looks at you sternly. "Dirk Strider?"

"...yes?"

"Goddammit, Jake," he growls, running his hands through his already mussed hair. "I'm just gonna have to start controlling your love life because you're absolute shit at it. Why can't you just date a nice human like every other human in existence and leave the demon population alone?"

"I didn't know he was a demon!" you say defensively. "And even if I had, I wouldn't have cared! So what if he isn't human? Neither are you!"

"The point, Jake, is that you're dating Dirk Strider, who has more enemies in Derse than anyone I've ever heard of! It's dangerous! You just got out of something stupid and dangerous, and here you are again, diving headfirst off a cliff like a stupid gerbil beast!"

"Lemming," you supply helpfully, and he flicks your forehead. "Hey! It's not like that! Dirk isn't like Caliborn at all! He would never hurt me!"

"His record isn't exactly spotless," Karkat grumbles. "You aren't the only one who can't seem to date his own kind."

You're about to ask what he means by that when he grabs your hand and starts running back the way you came.

"Let's try to find them," he says. "Dirk's job is to send demons back to Derse, so this might not be too hard a job for him."

"And we aren't even certain Caliborn is here!" you add, feeling a bit more optimistic. "So this might all be for nothing!"

Still though, the thought looms over you. Even if you were extremely angry at Dirk for keeping his not being human a secret, you've not been entirely honest with him either. But really, how were you supposed to tell him about Caliborn? You never wanted to be with him. And every other demon seems to be afraid of him... What if Dirk leaves you, too?

But he said he loved you, didn't he? He wouldn't leave you. He wouldn't! Dirk is too good a guy, you're sure of it! But still...it's so much to ask for. After everything Caliborn did to you, you're certainly damaged goods. And Dirk has no idea...

You cling tightly to Karkat's hand and wish you were anyone other than yourself.


You are Dirk Strider, and you're pissed off at the world. Ok, maybe you're less pissed off at the world and more fearful for your new boyfriend's sake. You continue to sniff out his scent and follow it as you make your way through the graveyard. Sollux runs by your side, looking just as scared as he did when he first mentioned Caliborn's name.

"I've heard of Caliborn… leader of The Felt. But he was just a small fry. They all were. Why is everyone suddenly so scared of him? And what's this have to do with Jake?" you demand.

"It's got everything to do with Jake," Sollux huffs beside you, looking like he's having a tough time keeping up with you.

You feel bad but you can't slow down. Sollux is going to hate you, but you've got to run as fast as you can for Jake's sake. You scoop him up like a football, carrying him under your right arm, and keep running.

"Fucking hell Strider!" Sollux exclaims.

"Answer the question!" You demand again.

Sollux growls, grabbing onto your torso so that he stops flopping around as you run. Once he's situated, he shouts over the rush of wind. "Caliborn's caused serious problems for Derse ever since you left. You're lucky your parents ditched you on this worthless rock when they did!"

You tighten your hold on Sollux warningly and growl, "don't."

"Fuck Strider!" he barks. "Don't have to be such an asshole!"

"And you don't have to go through a portal back to Derse. I could just squish you," you offer kindly.

At your excessively pleasant request, Sollux doesn't talk about your parents anymore. Instead he continues answering your question, "Caliborn started climbing the ranks from a small fry street punk to a crime lord feared by everyone. He's stronger somehow. Like he keeps getting power from somewhere. And The Felt are still weak as shit but they regenerate like no tomorrow. Everyone's scared of them. They threaten friends and loved ones if you don't do what they want you to do. It's why I was even bothering to help Caliborn with his little hacker problem...FUCK!" Sollux screams as you leap over a decorative little ravine blocking your way.

"Go on," you command. You can smell Jake's scent a little stronger now. You can smell his fear and you are worried sick. "Go ON Sollux!"

"He-he always had little prizes he would tote around," the lesser demon stammers. "Fucktoys that he'd show off and discard when they weren't fun anymore."

Your blood runs cold. You know where this is going and you hate it.

"Usually they don't last a week," Sollux explains. "They break. They die for one reason or another. But Jake-Jake somehow lasted months. Almost a year. Caliborn used him, beat him, abused him, but he wouldn't break. That's why… that's why everyone in Derse knows the name Jake English. Caliborn couldn't stop talking about how he was going to break him and destroy him."

"And?!" you growl, feeling like you should almost be there.

"And then one day we stopped hearing about Jake English. Caliborn said he got bored of him," Sollux explained. "We all thought he was dead, but Karkat found him."

Sollux looks like he has more to say, but you don't have time to listen to him.

You've finally found him. In the far distance you see your boyfriend, pinned against a tombstone by a giant green monster. "JAKE!" you scream, putting Sollux down so you can flash step even faster.

You've got to get to him before anything happens.

You HAVE to!

You're going to rip Caliborn to shreds for what he's done to Jake!

You're-


You're Jake again, and you cry out as you're ripped away from Karkat. You don't even have to look to know who has you. Even if you can't sense him, there's no one else it could be. Dirk would never handle you so roughly.

Karkat is thrown to the side, colliding headfirst with a tombstone. He doesn't get back up. Uselessly, you fight against the strong hold, trying to get to your friend. A strong grip grabs your jaw, and you're forced to look into the bright red eyes of Caliborn, as you have far too many times before. He smiles his sickly sweet smile at you, his teeth sharp and gleaming. He's not even trying to disguise himself tonight. He's in his true demon form, his skin slightly green looking, but somehow this is less disturbing than when he looks completely normal. This way at least you know how strong and inhuman he really is.

"Jake," he coos at you, holding your body tightly to him as his eyes appraise you. "You look good. Damn good."

"I-I've been...keeping better company!" you say fiercely, trying to kick him. Alas, you can't get the leverage.

He laughs and you hate it, knowing he's laughing at you. You've always seemed to be his favorite thing to laugh at. Especially when you try to fight.

"You're putting up a fight again!" he says. "It's been so long. Last time I saw you, there was no fight left."

You growl and try again to get him to release you.

"You let me go! You said there was nothing else you wanted from me! So why are you doing this now?!"

"That was before when you were broken." He pulls you closer. "Now you're not so broken. Not yet. I would like to break you again." You cringe when he puts his face in your hair and inhales deeply. He growls formidably as he glares at you. "You smell like someone else."

Unable to think of anything else to say, you glare right back at him.

"Jake," he snarls, his hand moving to your throat where he squeezes tightly. "Who else have you been with? You're mine."

"I'm not!" you croak, finding it increasingly hard to speak with his hand closing your windpipe. "I was n-never...yours!"

He roars with rage and yanks your head to the side so he can sink his teeth into your neck. Unlike when Dirk did it, it does not feel good. It hurts, and you cry out in pain as he drinks your blood deeply, swallowing mouthful after mouthful. Weakly, you try and push him away but it's no use. You don't have half his strength on your best day, and the way he's drinking you won't have any strength at all soon enough.

He pulls away and hisses in your ear, "You are mine."

When he did this to you before, you were always quick to agree with him because it made him less aggressive. But now, maybe because of your new relationship, or maybe because of the blood loss, you shake your head.

"'M not...not yours..."

It was, apparently, not the best thing to say.

He slams you into a large tombstone, knocking it a bit loose in the ground but mainly just rattling your brain when your head hits it. You feel a little bad about the grave he's harassing you over. Hopefully the departed person's spirit passed on because defiled graves are one of the main reasons they get upset. You'll have to offer an apology when you get away.

If you get away.

He's never let you get away from him unscathed and you doubt he's about to break that streak now. You close your eyes as his hands go for your zipper, accepting your fate. You hope Dirk isn't having trouble... Hopefully he won't find you like this. That's one image you don't want him to have of you. You're a huge hypocrite for getting angry with him about not being honest with you. You never intended to tell him about Caliborn. You never wanted anyone to know.

You'll have to break it off with Dirk. You don't want him fighting Caliborn. Demons are so scared of him for a reason, and you don't want Dirk getting hurt because of you. It's not worth it. You're not worth it. You think of how wonderful he's been to you so far and you try to focus on the way his gravelly voice sounds as Caliborn bites you again. Gosh, but you love the sound of Dirk's voice. Even now, in your memories, it sounds clear as a bell.

"JAKE!"

Huh. It sounds even clearer than you thought!

You open your eyes to see him running toward you, another demon beside him in silly 3D glasses. Caliborn pulls away from your neck to snarl at them and you blink in confusion, too light-headed and weak to understand the situation. Caliborn has taken a lot of blood from you.

"Let go of him now," Dirk growls, lifting his sword, "and I may not make it as painful when I chop you to fuckin' pieces."

"Dirk Strider," Caliborn smiles, sniffing the air. "You're the one he smells like." He tosses you to the side like a rag doll and you curl around yourself feebly, thinking this has to be worst thing for Dirk to possibly see after just becoming your boyfriend. You're just an unlucky bungler, that's all there is to it.

"Sadly for you, Dirk Strider, he is mine," Caliborn says. "I've already claimed him. Find a different cumslut."

God, that name. You hate when he calls you that. Like you ever had a choice in whether or not to be with him! You moan quietly and try to get up but you can't... Where he bit you is on fire and you're too weak to support yourself.

"Jake..." Dirk says sadly from somewhere. You can't see him from your current fetal position and you're glad he can't see you either. You already look pathetic enough. He doesn't have to see you cry, too.

"Please...please go..." you manage to say to him. "Don't fight..."

"See? He knows who he belongs to," Caliborn says with a fondness in his tone that makes you cringe.

Dirk snarls so loudly that you pull your hands away from your face in surprise to look at him, but you barely see him as he charges forward.

"No!" you shout, but it's too late. In an instant Dirk's blade is in Caliborn's hand, being pried away from him.

Dirk jumps back, his teeth bared and his eyes glowing through his shades, and you wonder how you ever could have thought he was human. He looks over at you before he roars with rage again, managing to land a punch in Caliborn's face, dodging when the larger demon tries to grab him. Dirk is fast! But your attention is on Caliborn because he's...smiling. He's not the least bit worried about your boyfriend hurting him. And that terrifies you.

"You aren't gonna touch him ever again!" Dirk hisses. He looks Caliborn up and down, seeming to be sizing him up. "You're goin' back to Derse where you belong!"

He charges again, but this time, he doesn't get away. Caliborn grabs his wrist, flipping him onto the ground and stomping on his chest.

"I can go wherever I want," Caliborn grins. "That can be Derse. And it can be not Derse." He growls and stomps again. "Right now I think where I want to be is on top of you."

You scream as Caliborn kicks him over and over again, filling the air with sickening snapping and crunching noises. A stream of blood spurts from Dirk's mouth and then—and then he stops moving.

"CALIBORN, PLEASE!" You beg, finally pulling yourself into a sitting position as you try to desperately reach Dirk. "Leave him alone, please, I'm yours!" You fall to the ground again as you cry, your arms shaking so badly they won't hold you up anymore. "I'll do whatever you want just—please stop hurting him..."

"I'm not going to kill you, Dirk Strider," you hear Caliborn say after a long silence, and you breathe a sigh of relief. "I want you to watch as I take him again and again. I want you to be powerless to stop me. You think he's your human?" He laughs wickedly, kicking Dirk a final time. "I heard from Ampora that the almighty Strider had a human now. You haven't even claimed him yet. And you never will."

Frantically, you look around for anything that could help. Dirk's sword, where did it fly off to?! You see the other demon trying to wake Karkat up, and you think to yourself that that must be Sollux before your world shifts as something lifts you in the air by the collar of your shirt. Blindly, you kick and punch in front of you, but it's not use. You're not strong enough to hurt Caliborn. And it's your fault Dirk is hurt now, too.

"C-Caliborn, please..." you say quietly as he presses you into the tombstone again. "Don't do this...not in front of him...he's the only one that's treated me like...like he loves me..."

"I do not make promises," he snarls at you, his eyes flashing multiple colors. "I will have you. And when he attacks again, I will crush him."

"Jake..." Dirk moans feebly, coughing a worrying amount of blood up. You cry out and try to get to him.

"Isn't that so sweet!" Caliborn laughs. "He's coughing up blood for you! I think that you should bleed for me too, Jake." He slides a claw over your cheek, slicing into your skin. You whimper as he leans in to lick the blood away.

You never wanted any of this to happen. You just wanted to help your grandmother and maybe make coffee for your cute vampire boyfriend. But everything to do with you ends up spiraling out of control so you really shouldn't have expected this to be any different.

Just as you start to accept the fact that nothing is going to save any of you, you're suddenly let go of, your body toppling to the ground for the second time tonight. You look up to see someone that looks—remarkably like Dirk! He jumps on Caliborn, lifting a sword and plunging it into his neck.

"YOU—FUCK!" Caliborn screams, thrashing around, but this other fellow is as fast as Dirk, staying just out of Caliborn's reach as he stabs into the other side of his neck, pressing the sword forward until a stream of blood shoots into the sky. You take the opportunity to crawl forward to Dirk's side.

"Jake..." Dirk moans, and you sigh in relief, cradling him to you and petting his face.

"You're alright," you tell him. "Someone is taking care of Caliborn now."

"...what's he look like?"

"Um. Quite a bit like you, actually!"

Dirk moans again. "Fuckin' great..." He opens his eyes and you're just now aware of the fact his shades were knocked away, revealing his orange eyes. You love his eyes so much! They reveal he isn't human, but more than that, he's so expressive without those silly shades. His eyes trail to your neck, and he growls softly.

"He hurt you..."

You touch your neck and feel where Caliborn's teeth pierced you. Your hand is covered in blood as you pull it away, and you laugh awkwardly, trying not to worry Dirk.

"Oh, yes! It's alright, though. He hurt you much worse. Are you—are you going to be okay?"

"Jake," he says gently, pulling himself up. He cups your cheek and gives you such a sad look you wonder for a moment if he's dying. "He hurt you. Didn't he?"

You stare at him confusedly. You're not all that hurt, considering! You're grateful all your clothes are still on, too. You'll have to thank your savior for making it in the nick of time to save your dignity, at least.

But as Dirk holds your gaze, you slowly understand. He doesn't mean tonight. He means before. Before you met him, when you summoned Caliborn by accident and sealed your own fate. You open your mouth, but no words come out. Nothing but a squeaking noise as your eyes burn and your vision blurs. You can't even look at him as your body shakes with suppressed sobs and you nod your head.

This is it, isn't it? He's going to leave you. He's going to know Caliborn won't just go away and leave you alone. He won't risk this happening to him again, not if he's smart. You haven't even had him for an entire day yet and you're already losing him.

You squeak again as you're pulled against him, and you bury your face in his neck, breathing him in as he holds you, petting your hair and murmuring soft comforts to you. You can't hold in your tears anymore, and you hope he forgives you for messing up his collar with tears and...other fluids.

"I- I'm so s-s-sorry!" You cry and hug him tightly as you try to form coherent sentences. "I n-never meant to! I didn't w-want it!"

"Shhhh, it's okay, baby. I don't blame you in the least, alright? It's him who should be sorry. It's his tears of pain I wanna see, not yours." He pulls you away from his neck and kisses your cheeks, his hands moving to try and dry your face, which is a losing battle. "I'm here now. No one's ever gonna hurt you again."

"But he h-hurt you!" With another wail, you reacquaint your face with his neck. "You're coughing up bl-blood!"

He sighs softly. "That was my fault. Underestimated his strength. Never dealt with a demon who used such strong bursts of energy before. He's way stronger than he looks but he's no 'lord of the demons'. He's not gettin' anywhere near you ever again, Jake."

You hug him tighter before you remember his injuries. You breathe an apology to him but he just laughs.

"I'm a demon, Jake," he says. "It's already mostly healed. It's you we gotta worry about. C'mere."

He licks the scratch on your face, and you can feel the sting go away. You're positive your face is bright red because he laughs at you again before he leans into your neck, licking the deeper wound. You gasp softly because it stings, and he rubs your shoulders comfortingly. You feel him swallow—is he drinking from you now of all times?! You whine and try to pull away.

"Bear with me, Jake," he says. "Gotta get the venom out, alright?"

Venom? Caliborn's bitten you plenty of times before but you've never died! You push him again, but he keeps drinking, and your lightheadedness returns tenfold. You've lost so much blood already... Dirk seems to think along the same lines.

"Fuck," he breathes, pulling away after he licks the wound a final time, closing it. "I can't get it all. It's spread too much."

"Am...I going to die?"

"No, it's not that kinda venom. I'm willin' to bet it's how he—well. We can deal with that in a little bit. But you'll be fine, I swear. I'm gonna stay with you, baby."

You flop into him, still crying feebly. "Don't take me home like this," you moan. "Gramma has enough to worry about and she never knew about Caliborn."

"You can stay with me," he coos, nuzzling into you. "I can't be separated from you tonight anyway. Need to see you with my own eyes and know you're alright."

You calm down at the prospect of him holding you all night, and you unashamedly crawl forward until you're in his lap, wrapped around him like a jacket. He doesn't seem to mind.

"Nah, that's cool. Just saved y'alls asses and I don't even get a greeting? Not even a proper introduction to the human you're stranglin'."

Dirk groans and mutters a strong, "Go AWAY, Dave," into your hair. You look curiously up at the stranger who saved you.

"Dave..." you say quietly to yourself. Dirk's brother Dave?! And here you are, crying on top of Dirk like a baby! What a nifty first impression you're making!

"Nah. Also, why the fuck are you hurt, anyway? You let him get the drop on you, didn't you? Fuck, man, you always told me 'never let a demon get you to the ground' and there you are, on the ground. You know how long I've been waitin' for you to screw up? Pretty damn long. This is a joyous day," Dave says so quickly it's hard to follow. He raises his eyebrow at your staring, and you hurriedly blush and stammer an apology.

"S-sorry!"

"He's cute," Dave says matter-of-factly. "Still a human though. God, tonight's just full of you messin' up all over, ain't it, bro? Gettin' hurt, droolin' all over a human. Almost like you didn't learn your lesson last time."

Last time?

"Go away, Dave!" Dirk growls again, turning to glare at him. "Fine, thank you, I owe you one. Now go the fuck away!"

"Nah," Dave says again, crossing his arms over his chest. "It's been boring and I haven't seen you in a while. I'm gonna just sit here and enjoy this moment."

You sit awkwardly as Dirk continues to cling to you, murmuring insults at Dave under his breath. You look up at the lanky Strider and offer him a shaky grin.

"Um. I'm Jake English. I'm..."

"My boyfriend," Dirk finishes for you.

"Yeah, kinda figured," Dave says. "Dirk's got a big brain but it's full of the snowy stuff that tells you your T.V. doesn't work."

You get the feeling Dave doesn't like you very much. You don't blame him. You did kind of get his brother hurt.

"Hey, assholes," the demon with the 3D glasses says, gaining all of your attentions. He's holding up an unconscious Karkat and you whine, trying to stand up and reach him, but you're so wobbly!

"You alright, Sollux?" Dirk asks him. So that is Sollux. He looks like he's pissed off, but that could just be his face. You probably shouldn't ask.

"Good as can be. I'm gonna get back to my programming and leave this dweeb in the floor. Maybe run over him with my swivel chair a few times."

"Be nice to him!" you say frantically. "Karkat is my friend!"

"Yeah, yeah. He's talked about you," Sollux says, offering you a look that might be...pitying? "I'll take care of him."

In a flash, he's gone, carrying Karkat with him. You'll have to make sure Karkat's okay later when you can actually see straight.

"Who the fuck was that?" Dave asks.

"Sollux," Dirk replies. "You met him when you were like, two. Not surprised you don't remember him."

"I like his glasses."

"You fuckin' would."

Dirk shifts around and lifts you up, cradling you close to him as he moves forward to grab his sword, and then further to the left to put his shades back on. He gives Dave a look.

"Don't you have anything better to do than bug the fuck out of me?"

"You know, normally I'd be all 'fuck yeah I do', but really I don't. It's been dead as shit lately and that's why I answered the call so fast to come here and save your sorry ass," Dave shrugs. "What are y'all up to now, anyway?"

You yawn and curl closer to Dirk. "I have an early shift tomorrow," you say. "I should probably be hitting the hay soon."

Dave sighs for an impressive amount of time.

"Fine, go sleep and be old losers. I'll find somethin' to do."

"Yeah, go find a life. You've only been failin' at it the past hundred years or so," Dirk grunts.

"This is not the way you're supposed to treat me after I saved your ass," Dave huffs.

"How many times have I saved yours over the years? Too many to count. I take back what I said earlier, I don't owe you shit. This just takes one away from the massive pile of favors you owe me."

"I hope your fuckin' hair falls out."

"I hope your computer crashes and dies and all your shit comics get deleted."

They stare at each other silently before Dave flicks him off and turns around, leaving the graveyard.

"Thank you!" you call after him. "He saved us, Dirk! You should be nicer!"

"It's Dave, baby. If I was nice he might have an aneurysm. Now let's get you to my place and clean you up."

He holds you closely and runs fast toward his place, but not as fast as you'd seen him move before. He must be trying to be careful for your sake and make the ride less bumpy for you. You smile and nuzzle into his neck, kissing the skin gently. He's so good to you. He's so much more than you deserve.

You look up curiously when he stops walking. You're in front of a very ordinary looking house in an extremely normal neighborhood.

"Home sweet home," he says, moving to unlock the door. You look around and try to see everything as best as you can in total darkness but all you see are shapes. To your surprise, he carries you downstairs, flipping a switch to light the total blackness clouding your vision. You see a fully furnished basement that he's turned into a bedroom. There are no windows and...there's an extremely soft looking king sized bed in the corner that looks like it's been recently used. He grins at your expression.

"Expecting a coffin in a cave?" he asks, and you bristle.

"No!" You totally were.

"Thing is, I sleep during the day. Why the fuck am I gonna do that in something as depressing as a coffin? Nah, I'll take my bed. Come to think of it, you can sleep right in there with me." He winks at you. "After you're cleaned up."

"Am I gross?" You don't think you're that bloody.

"Yes. You were crawling around in a graveyard. Plus that fuckin' monster was—" He growls and carries you to the bathroom. "Anyway, you could use a shower. But I think a bath would be better now."

You watch as he fills the tub with hot water, leaning into him subconsciously. He looks at you uncertainly when the tub is full.

"You want me to get out? I'll just be in the other room."

You shake your head. "I don't think I can get out of my clothes alone," you say, embarrassed.

He nods and gently helps pull your shirt off, and then your jeans and boxer-briefs. They're covered in little green skulls since you weren't expecting him to see them so soon, but he doesn't comment. You wince as he sets you in the tub, and you grab his sleeve when he tries to turn away again.

"Stay..." you say softly. "Please?"

He looks relieved, like he wanted you to say that, and he leans next to the tub, kissing your hair. You whimper when his lips press against a sore patch—where your head slammed against the tombstone, you recall. He frowns and rubs in gently.

"I can't heal that..." he muses. "Are you disoriented at all? Should I be worried about a concussion?"

"No, I don't think so. I'm just...extremely tired." You lean against the wall of the tub and close your eyes. "I'm so sorry I wasn't honest with you, Dirk."

"Jake..."

"No, let me finish. I was never intending to tell you about him. How could I? He—he did horrible things to me. He said he'd kill my grandmother if I went against him so there was no way I could fight him, even if I was strong enough. And he..." You swallow. This is the hard part. "He only let me go because...it stopped being fun for him. I stopped fighting. He...he broke me."

Dirk looks at you sadly, petting your bangs away from your forehead. "Broke you?" he asks quietly.

You look at the bathwater in favor of looking at him as you whisper, "I tried to kill myself."

It's so silent in the bathroom that the sound of a drop of water leaking into the tub from the faucet makes you jump. You look to the side to see Dirk's gripping the edge so hard his knuckles are white.

You show him your wrist and the long white scar running from your wrist to your forearm, not daring to look at his face.

"It was hopeless," you say almost inaudibly. "He was coming for me every morning, every night. He would pull me away from my friends, disguised as a human, and then he'd—defile me in every way he knew how. I couldn't fight him and I couldn't find anyone that could. So I...I did this. And it was so stupid, so selfish. What would Gramma have done if I'd died?" You growl at your own stupidity. "But I didn't cut deep enough. As bad as it looks, it wasn't enough to kill me. I passed out and when I woke up, Karkat was sitting next to my bed, looking like he wanted to kill me and hug me at the same time. I eventually told him the whole story, and he's the only one who knows. Aside from you now. Caliborn didn't come back after that. I don't know if it was because he...actually cared, but I highly doubt it. He basically confirmed tonight that I wasn't making it fun for him anymore. Until now. Now that you're in the picture he's not going to stop. You've given him a challenge and he'll be back. He's never going to leave me alone."

You yelp as Dirk slides in the water with you, fully clothed, to hug you to him.

"Dirk! What the—I'm in the bath!"

"Baby..." he says quietly, kissing your cheeks and then your lips. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I wasn't in your life sooner. That you had to go through...that. Caliborn better pray I don't see his ass again because I'm gonna tear him to pieces—Jake..."

You tilt against him and sigh, hugging him to you. "You're not going to leave me? Even knowing all the...baggage that comes along with me?"

"I could never just leave you, Jake," he mumbles. "Especially because some piece of shit decided to mistreat you for so long. I'm here for you, baby. I already told you I love you. That means a helluva lot more to me than just ditchin' you for somethin' that's not even your fault."

You tear up again and hug him closer, sniffling as you pet through his damp hair. "I love you, too..."

He tenses in your arms. Shit! Were you not supposed to say that?

"You don't have to say it back," he says softly, pulling away to look at you. "We just got together today...I understand if you wanna wait a while to make it more official. Vampires move a lot faster than your kind. I can go as slow as you need, though."

You shake your head and kiss him lovingly. "It's more than just how long we've been together and how long I've known you. It's—I feel like I'm...supposed to be with you. As soon as I spoke to you, it felt that way. And I've never felt something like that in my life! And you know everything about me and all the bullshit I cause and you're...still here. You still want to be with me and that just confirms what I've been thinking all night. I love you. And I...I've never said that to anyone before aside from family but I mean it, Dirk. I love you and I want to stay with you. For...as long as you'll have me."

You grin at him uncertainly and he makes a small noise as he pulls you into another kiss, this one firmer and more heated than the last. You gasp and nip his bottom lip, mindful of the fact that both of you are in the tub but you're too riled up to care much. He presses you into the wall and kisses you stupid and you're certain your lips are swollen from all the attention. Finally he pulls away and leans his forehead against yours.

"I want you forever, Jake. It's—so weird you described exactly how I felt when I saw you. Like I needed to be with you. But that's nothing unusual for a vampire." He grins at you. "You sure you're human?"

"Fairly certain!" you laugh, kissing him again. "But...erm. I think I should wash off now."

"Huh? Oh. Yeah. Fuck." He gets out of the tub, dripping wet, and you can't help the way your eyes stray to the front of his jeans.

He must have really liked kissing you.

You let him go into the next room to change while you borrow his toiletries. His shampoo looks and smells expensive compared to yours. But then again you buy dollar brands to save money. He must be really successful to have this nice house and all these wonderful things!

You're rinsing off again when you feel...odd. Like you're getting hotter from the inside out. Worried, you touch your face, wondering if you're getting a fever. Everything is burning!

"Dirk!" you call worriedly, fidgeting in the water and moaning at the strange feeling. It's starting to hurt. "Dirk!"

He runs back in, carrying some of his clothes for you, and you notice his eyes stray down to your lap. He swallows, his eyes huge as he moves back toward you.

"The venom," he says gently, kneeling beside the tub again. "He was using it to—arouse you. You're okay, I'm here..."

"Make it stop," you whine, giving him a pitiful look. "Please Dirk—hurts!"

He makes a small noise, his eyes shifting down again before shooting back up to yours. "Are—are you sure? It's your body reacting to what he did to you...I don't want to do anything like that until you want it, Jake."

"I do want you, I—DIRK!" you cry out.

There's a small splash as his hand plunges in the water, and you moan unashamedly as his fingers wrap around your arousal, pumping you fast. You grip the sides of the tub and lean back, pressing your hips further up into his grasp.

"Dirk...nnnm! Dirk! Feels—still hot...still..."

"Shhh, let me take care of you," he says into your ear, his voice sweet and low. "Give it to me, Jake. Let it go, okay?"

You whimper and nod dumbly as he pumps you to release, your body jerking as you cry out his name. You sink into the water, shaking from the force of your orgasm. You're barely aware of him lifting you and drying you off, helping you into some of his clothes. You giggle sleepily at how big they are on you, his pajama pants falling off your hips. You sigh gratefully when your back meets a soft surface and he moves in next to you, holding you close to him.

"Feelin' better?" he asks quietly.

"Mmhmm," you murmur, snuggling closer to him greedily. It's only when you're closer that you notice his own pressing need. "Dirk...?"

"Sorry," he says, pulling his hips away from you.

"Nnn...no, I was..." You yawn, reaching for him. "Let me help you..."

He gasps softly as your hand presses into the front of his pajama bottoms, cupping him firmly. His hands move to your shoulders.

"Jake—fuck," he breathes. "Y-you really...don't have to..."

"I know I don't have to," you say, looking down as you reach into his pajamas, grabbing him directly. "I want to."

He buries his face in your hair as you return the favor, your hand gaining speed as it works over him. He makes tiny sounds he tries to muffle, his hands tightening around your shoulders as he comes in your hand, his body sinking into the bed like it completely exhausted him. You know the feeling. You're so tired you can't even keep your eyes open!

You move closer to him again, tucking your face into his neck as your arms wrap around his waist. You try to keep your soiled hand off his sheets but you're pretty sure you fail miserably. He doesn't seem to care. He kisses your hair and makes a happy, contented noise, pulling you even firmer against him, your body melding to his.

You smile to yourself at how tenderly he's holding you, how he asked you if he could touch you. He treats you so wonderfully. He's exactly what you were always longing for on those miserable nights after Caliborn would leave you stripped of your dignity. You've never been held as you've fallen asleep. Not like this, at least. You don't think your grandmother counts.

"Love you, Dirk..." you mumble into his neck. "Love you..."

You don't hear his response, but you know when you wake up, he'll still be there. And that's all you need to feel safe and warm as you drift off in his arms.