"Come on, come on,
You think you drive me crazy,
Come on, come on,
You and whose army?
You and your cronies.
Come on if you think you can take us on."

You And Whose Army? - Radiohead

Chapter 4 – Bar Brawls and Ambushes

I try my best not to cough as I enter the dank little smoke filled room, it's barely midday and already the place is teeming with drunken louts. My lungs seize up but I fight against my natural reflexes so as not to draw further attention to myself.

I avoid looking directly at an especially large group of greasy looking men but remain aware of them as I move towards the bar. Over the years I seem to have developed a kind of sixth sense when it comes to trouble and this lot are already making me nervous.

The unsavoury looking barman is an accurate reflection of his clientele as he glares and sneers when I order my drink. Sitting down at one of the few empty tables, as close to the door as I can manage - I don't particularly relish the idea of being surrounded by these apes – I subtly survey the men around me.

Most are sitting in either twos or threes and are keeping to themselves, but the large group in the corner are continuing to disturb me.

The ringleader – I discern him judging by the fact that he is both drunkest and loudest of the group – is telling the rest of them a story which is causing them to hoot and laugh, banging their fists on the table and begging for more, from what little I can make out over the commotion it concerns a lady – my eyes narrow and I continue to listen.

Several drinks later and he is so loud that I don't even need to strain to hear what he is talking about anymore.

"… and no matter what I say to the little bitch there's just no reasoning with her –"

"It's just not right –"

"You need to put her in her place, you do-"

"Shh, let me finish, so last night before I left her at her place I says to her 'It's not long now until you and I will be living together, wouldn't you like to stay the night and see that you like it before we move?' but she's having none of it, it's all 'we should wait until we're married' this and 'I don't think I'm ready just yet' that. Frigid little cow,"

He drains the rest of his tankard and orders the man nearest to him to fetch more drinks from the bar. As his friend staggers to the bar he turns to the rest and starts asking their opinions on his current situation.

"You should go round there now and rip that sweet little farm dress right off her and show her who's boss,"

I can barely hide the fact that I am grinding my teeth.

"You sound jealous to me," he laughs and glances round the bar catching my eye, "Like that shifty looking bloke over there glaring at me," he needlessly raises his voice further, 'Oi, you fancy my girl too, huh? A lot of folk do, only thing is that we're engaged to be married and that means that she's mine and I get to do whatever I like with her. In fact, I think I'll go round right now and see if I can't… loosen her up a little," he turns and winks to his fellows who whoop and cheer as he stands up and announces "Malon, honey, here I come,"

I feel nothing but burning hatred for this man.

I stand and block his way out of the door.

It seems to take him a moment to realise what I'm doing and he frowns down at me.

"Out of my way, shrimp,"

I continue to stare defiantly up at him as I weigh him up, sure he's almost a foot taller than me and considerably heavier, but chances are he's mostly comprised of fat and besides anything else he's completely tanked up. Still there's no point in taking any chances, especially not with Malon's safety at stake.

"Didn't you hear me? I said move," he growls, getting angry now.

A tense silence fills the room and all eyes are on us, the barman watching through narrowed eyes, waiting for the moment when he can throw us out. I don't really see the point in saying anything but before I can think any further he pushes me out of the way roughly and I stumble against the table I had been sitting at.

"Some of us have better things, or should I say women, to do," his friends laugh loudly again and he lets his words linger, enjoying the effect which he can no doubt read in my features. A sly smile creeps onto his lips.

Without really thinking about it I draw my freshly sharpened sword and throw him against the door, holding him in place with my free right hand, the blade of my sword resting against his throat.

"Take it outside!" the barman yells across the room.

I pay no attention.

"Don't have the balls to take me on without that thing do you, little man," he grins again.

I can smell the alcohol on his breath.

Glaring into his eyes, our faces barely an inch apart, I swing my sword around and drive through the wood of the door beside his head, so close that it grazes his ear.

His eyes are wide with fear.

"I could kill you with my bare hands," I hiss just loud enough for him to hear.

Before I have a chance to do anything else the barman grabs me from behind and throws me forcefully out of the door then yanks my sword free and tosses it out after me.

"Don't show your face in here again if you know what's good for you," he barks at me before slamming the bar door closed and leaving me sprawled in a heap on the hard stone ground outside.

Shoppers in the market stare as I pick myself up and re-sheath my sword. I avoid their eyes and begin walking back towards Hyrule field.

These people have no respect for me.

I consider heading back to LonLon Ranch and telling Malon about what I had heard, but why cause her the pain of learning that her husband-to-be is a womanising drunk who seems to want her only for sex and free labour.

No, it would be far kinder for him to vanish or drown. The moat is right there, it would be so easy to hold him under and make it look like an accident. Plenty people are witness to how drunk he is. He might just fall off the drawbridge and crack his head off the bottom.

Oh, so sad the people would say, and he was to be married in just a few weeks time. And so young. His poor fiancé, how she must pine for his company. What a good thing that that handsome stranger is by her side to comfort her, I wonder where he came from. He's so mysterious.

Ha.

It's not as if there is any real kind of law here anyway. Sure, the soldiers do their bit but they're not exactly detectives.

I am the only real justice in this land.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Waiting is such sweet sorrow.

I've been balanced on top of the chains of the town gate for almost an hour and my legs are starting to go numb.

People have been going back and forth fairly consistently and I'm beginning to worry that there will be too many witnesses around for what I have planned, I don't want to involve any innocent bystanders.

I hear him before I see him.

I don't know or care what his name is, I don't care about his family, they shouldn't miss him.

Whistling below me he seems care free, that is until I've checked that there are no other people close by and dropped down in front of him.

He jumps with the slow reflexes of every drunk I've ever seen.

"You again," he slurs.

"Me again," I nod. Quick as a flash I push him as hard as I can towards the edge of the draw bridge.