Chapter IV: Depression
(What's the point of going on?)

A group of people had gathered in the Chosen One's mansion.

"How is she, Zelos?"

"To tell you the truth... I don't know. She won't let me see her, she won't talk, won't eat. I just..." the redhead fell silent.

"Argh, this is bad! If we don't do something, she'll... I don't know! I'm really not someone that can deal with this kind of stuff! Shouldn't we contact Raine or Genis? Or Regal? I bet even Presea would know better than me what to do."

"Raine and Genis are on their way, hunny. If they get their Rheairds from Yuan today, they should arrive early tomorrow."

"I swear, if you call me 'hunny' one more time..."

"Zelos, Sheena, don't we have more important thing to talk about right now?"

"Lloyd..."

"Lloyd's right. I'm not saying that because I know better or anything... I don't know what do to, either, but..."

"No, you're right, Colette. Fighting won't help Marta right now..."

"I'll check up on her again. You guys should go to bed, it's pretty late. We won't be much of a help to her if we're tired out tomorrow."

"I'll go with you!"

"Seles, shouldn't you rest? In your state..."

"Don't, Zelos! I'm worried about Marta, too. I'm coming."

"Fine then. But the rest of you..."

"Zelos is right."

"Although I don't think I'll be able to get much rest tonight."


A tiny piece of paper lay on Marta's nightstand:

Ratatosk,

You're really not going to come back, are you?

Marta


Yo Emil,

...or Ratatosk? How am I supposed to call you now?

This is Zelos. You know, handsome, intelligent, benevolent and incredibly modest Chosen of Tethe'alla? You haven't forgotten me yet, have you?

Look, I'd like to say I'm writing just because, but... I'm really not. This isn't about me at all. This is about my dearest Marta. She's not been herself lately. She's completely shut herself away. She's not talking to anyone, she barely eats anything and I don't see her smile anymore. If I didn't know better, I'd say she's become an Angel of Cruxis. I mean, can you believe it? It's Marta. Carefree, happy-go-lucky Marta. I know they say that you're not supposed to try and cheer someone up if that person's grieving. I know that it's supposed to be important for her to move on, but... this whole situation's pretty much fucked up! I don't really care about this psychological crap, anyway. Marta' s obviously in pain, and watching it makes the rest of us hurt, too. And this is your fault!

Well, no, it actually isn't. I know that. I know you're protecting this world from the demons or Niflheim or whatever. But blaming you is just so much easier. I don't think I can just forgive you.

Not yet.

Maybe not ever.

But then again, Marta will probably be angry with me for that, won't she? She's always stood up for you, after all. But really, man, you should see her the way she is now. It-

It scares me.

I don't know what to do. I know I shouldn't be angry at you, even if just for Marta's sake. But it's just hard to accept that there's no one to blame for her condition.

So I won't forgive you, until you find a way to get your ass back up here, in the reunited world, where you belong.

That's right, you heard me. Where you belong. We want you here, okay?

See ya then, kid

Zelos


Ratatosk?

It's me, Sheena.

How are you doing? Me? I'm dealing, I guess. Being the Chief of Mizuho, I'm kinda busy, but watching Marta right now... I don't have the right to complain. She tried hard... she tried so hard, I think she broke. Because... because she didn't even give herself the chance to grieve. She didn't even cry, did you know that? The moment we got out of the Ginnungagap, she said she needed to go see Brute. We all accompanied her, of course. I think we were all expecting her to break down on the way.

She didn't.

She checked on her father, and then she bid us farewell and left. I don't really know where she went after that, but she has dissolved the Vanguard, and she has been travelling around. I think she's trying to get the Tethe'allans to respect the Sylvaranti more. She seemed to be doing so well. Now that I think about it, she was doing too well. She had just basically lost the love of her life.

I should have seen it.

Why didn't I see it?

One day, Zelos contacted me. Apparently she just suddenly turned up on his doorstep. She didn't say anything, she just got in and cried. Seles was really worried about her, too, the two did seem to get along really well. I think I must have been kinda frantic, I mean, I really do like Marta. She's like the little sister I never had, you know? Anyway, Orochi immediately took over for me, so that I could go to Meltokio.

Why did she go to that idiot Chosen's house, of all places?

She didn't want to see me, though. Not at first. But I can be quite obstinate when I want to. She let me into her room at some point, but even then she didn't wanna talk.

I'm really worried about her.

I think she's been spending some time with other boys, though. I did hear her mumble something like that once. I guess she tried to... how to call it?... "Fall out of love" with you? It doesn't work like that, though. I think we all know who truly makes her happy. That there's only person that holds her heart.

You.

And it's pretty clear she's not over you.

Look, I don't know if you even get this letter, I don't know if Undine can get it to you. Maybe that's just wishful thinking. I know that you have to be where you are now, but... But I just wish there was some way for you to come back. She needs you here, you know? She's not whole without you.

Okay, I guess I'm done now. I'll go check up on Marta again. I never would have thought, but Zelos can actually be quite decent. I think, maybe he thinks of her like a sister, too?

Take care of yourself. For me.

For Marta.

And come home when you can, okay?

You always have a place here. Don't forget that.

Sheena.


Dear Ratatosk,

How are you? Us, we are all pretty worried about Marta. I really do hope she'll be okay. Although, she might never be whole again without you.

She loves you, after all.

Please don't think this is your fault. It's not. It's no one's fault, really. We all hoped it didn't have to be this way.

I promise you, we all will do everything we can to make Marta smile again. For your sake, as well.

Sincerely,

Colette


Hey.

It's Lloyd.

I'll get straight to the point, okay? I'm sure you've heard about Marta. Sheena said she wanted to ask Undine to get the message to you, so I won't repeat it again.

I'm sure you feel bad enough, already.

I did say I wanted to meet you again, I did want to try to communicate with you. I didn't want it to be like this, though. When I said it, I was thinking about asking Origin to help me. Or use the Eternal Sword. I was so sure I'd find a way to get to you.

You're probably blaming yourself for this.

But it's not your fault!

If anyone's at fault, it's me.

I was the one that said I wouldn't make anymore sacrifices! I was the one that said I didn't want to lose any more friends!

And what do I do? The second I hear about the tree and the Ginnungagap, I just decide that there's no other option that to get you down there and protect that stupid Gate. I didn't even think about it for a second! I didnn't even consider looking for another solution; not like I did with Colette back then.

Because despite everything I said, despite calling you my friend, I didn't even stop to think about you and Marta's feelings.

What kind of a friend am I?

Damn it, why can't I just keep a promise?

I don't know what to do from here. We all want you back, but if you do, no one will look after the Door.

I... wish my dad was here, I'm sure he would have thought of something. Or he would have made me angry enough for me to think of something, myself. But he's not.

Look, I'll try to think of something, okay? I know it's late. I know I should have thought about it right from the beginnig. Maybe, if I'd just talked to you- talked to Marta- we would have figured something out... But I'll try now, okay?

I won't give up! You have my word.

Until then, my friend

Lloyd


A/N: Confusing, much? This didn't sound as stupid when it was still in my head...