Spades vs. Hearts

Chapter Four


Mukuro ran his hands through his lengthy, blue hair that reached a bit past his shoulders, then paused, focusing on the feel of the water running over his body. He already knew that everything wouldn't be better if he simply took a shower, but it didn't hurt to try washing away all of his negative feelings. Tears ran down his cheeks as he stood under the warm water, and he tried to get a grip, telling himself that he was a grown man, and that he should be more mature.

But what else could he do but cry his eyes out? It was as though his entire life had shattered right before his eyes, and now, with the occassional childhood memory winking at him as its fragment sank out of sight, Mukuro was just absorbed by the pain. What was he thinking to achieve by leading Fran on? All his feelings still belonged to Hibari, after all!

It was a disaster waiting to happen when he got himself in a relationship with Fran. He hadn't had an ounce of affection for him before, and when Fran suddenly up and asked for a kiss, Mukuro didn't know what to think! He'd turned the request down, but after a day, and a little more conversation with his student, he'd realized that he was being just like Hibari, and he instantly hated it. In a fit of self-disappointment, Mukuro had gone up and kissed Fran, to prove that he wasn't going to make a mistake like his former principal had.

And soon after, they had considered it a relationship, and Mukuro was so proud of himself for making that happen. He was so kind. So romantic.

Just like Hibari should've been.

"I probably crushed him worse than Hibari did to me," Mukuro sighed. "I should've at least tried to love him. Love... the concept that I've rejected for so damned long. I'd have to feel for Fran like I do for Hibari, otherwise... he'd be heartbroken."

The teacher turned off the water and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around his waist before he stepped out of the shower. But a sudden panging headache and dizziness overtook him, and Mukuro gripped his head, stumbling to the ground. "Wha...?"

"Mukuro, it's me... nufufu. Bet you didn't know I was telepathic. Listen, about that 'son' of yours, who is he?"

"That shouldn't matter to you," Mukuro hissed.

"Oh, but it doesss. See, if you're gay, son, I'm not going to be happy with you."

"H-hypocrite, you're gay, too."

"This is different, Mukuro. Kyoya tells me that this boy is... young. But not so young that he might be your son. You're pretty old, boy, but that kid's a highschooler. If he were your son... well, you'd still be in love with my husband if that were the case. Fufu~ and I KNOW you didn't have anyone else on your mind."

"What are you going to do about it?" Mukuro snarled, gripping his head tightly. "Thanks to you, we broke up."

That was a lie and Mukuro knew it. It was his fault that they had 'broken up,' if you could even call it that. It was more like a realization of true feelings then a breakup. The teacher reached for a bathrobe, struggling to stand up as the feeling in his head made him feel sick. It was already pounding from this surreal 'telepathic' communication he was having with his father, and the voice that rang in his ears ached more than anything.

"Nufufu... Don't lie to me."

"I'm not!" Mukuro growled.

"Just remember... if I found out that you're in a relationship with this kid..."

The voice drifted off, and Mukuro gulped. Did his father intend to crush even the smallest relationship he'd founded with anyone? Mukuro shook his head and put that robe on, before walking out of his room and migrating to the couch. He slumped down on it, not bothered by his sopping wet hair, and just thought about things. The first thing that came to mind was him telling Fran that he was going to pay off this house so that they could start a family. He didn't want kids- he hated kids! That was the whole point of him falling in love with Kyoya Hibari. He was an ADULT.

The teacher sorely rubbed his head, trying to figure everything out for himself, even though he know that love wasn't exactly his strong suite. "Man... if I'd just realized everything sooner, I wouldn't have hurt anyone."

Mukuro frowned and turned on the tv.

Later...

Fran was curled up under the covers, his arms hugging a pillow tightly as he tried to settle the throbbing in his chest. The entire time, he had thought that his relationship with Mukuro was real, that everything they had done together was REAL. Every kiss, every caress, the mental painting he'd created with his feelings was now torn to shreds.

"On the first day, I brushed against him," Fran hissed. "On the second day, I realized I loved him." The student buried himself beneath the sheets as his cat tried to figure out why he was so upset. "On the third day, he put me in detention. On the fourth, he started to hate me. A year or two later...," Fran snarled, "we had our first kiss." The young man rolled over and grabbed his journal, opened it, and only gave it a mere glance before he began to tear out pages in a frantic attempt to ease the pain that gnawed at his heartstrings, threatening to snap them so that they could never play the melody of love again. His cat, Pineapple-sensei watched, startled, as the pages were crumpled and tossed on the ground, then mewed when Fran stopped, unable to damage the final page in the journal. Over it, there had been no entry, but a picture of Fran and Mukuro, with the words written beneath it 'Happily Ever After.' The student paused, then quietly placed the journal back on his nightstand.

"Happily Ever After, huh...," Fran sighed. "I can't believe I ever believed that was even possible. There's not even a such thing as true love, 'cause even if it exists, it's never mutual. Yeah. True love's as real as a two-headed goat named Byakikyo."

Pineapple-sensei sharpened his claws on the window's wooden frame, then lied down beside Fran, as if to assure the young man that everything would somehow turn out right.

Meanwhile...

Mukuro stared up at his ceiling, and closed his eyes, but every time he did, it was as though his father's bright, blue eyes were always staring at him from the insides of his eyelids. As such, he couldn't sleep, but could only stay awake, and think about Fran. How they had embraced each other time and time again, whether it be through their bodies or lips; how they had enjoyed one another's warmth; how they had saturated themselves in the illusionary love until they were to their throats in the dream.

It wasn't love.

It would never be love.

"Fran, I love you," Mukuro tested, but quickly became repulsed to hear himself say it. The words now sounded so phony that it made him feel sick to hear them. He sounded like a huge fake. A fraud, rather. If he could just go see Fran one last time and apologize, just to set his own mind at rest, he would do so. But he couldn't even imagine the fit of rage Fran's grandmother would have towards him for stringing her grandson along for such a long time. Really- to play someone for a fool for as long as a year... Mukuro still couldn't see how much pain Fran must've been through. However, even though he couldn't see it, he tried. He tried so hard to empathize with that child.

But it was futile.

Mukuro had been taught by his father to hate. To despise, and loath. To inflict pain before it was inflicted on himself. To be wary of those who said he loved him, but not alert around those who hated him. To hang around those he didn't like, but to never get close to someone he liked to be around.

Everything was completely screwed up with that, and Mukuro knew it, but he couldn't help it. That was how he'd been taught.

The teacher sighed, and reached up, rubbing his forehead to try and soothe yet another headache. Sadness really brought those out, after all. "Damn it," Mukuro hissed. "If only I had seen my own foolish thoughts! I'm not suited for love- I don't even know how to! All I've got is what my father told me, and that isn't much."

Mukuro soon stopped thinking about it, finding that it was less painful to think about the insides of his eyelids, where Daemon Spade had finally stopped gazing at him.

As he fell into a slumber, however, he began to dream...

-End Chapter


Sorry for not posting this last week! Hit a story-slump! DX

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