Perry was lying down in the grass in the backyard. He rolled over onto his back and looked up at the sky.
One of the clouds looked like a pair of pants.
Finally, Perry picked up his videophone and dialed Poppy's number. He waited as it rang.
"Hi, you've reached Poppy and Palmer."
"Mommy, look! I can swing on the new lamp!"
"Please leave a message after the- PALMER! NO!"
A beep sounded.
Perry didn't really know what to say.
He hung up and stuck his phone back in his fur pocket.
"Watcha doin'?" Pinky asked. He jumped over the fence and landed in the grass.
"Checking my messages."
"Not again. I wish you'd let me help you!"
"I'm fine." Perry insisted.
"You're miserable."
"I am not." Perry dialed Poppy's number again.
This time Palmer appeared on the screen. "Whaddya want?"
"Hey, Pal, it's me."
"Okay. MOM! DADDY'S CALLING!"
"No, Pal, that's fine. I don't need to-"
"Then why'd you call?" Palmer demanded.
Perry sighed. "I just wanted to tell your mom… that I'm sorry about getting so mad. I'm going to try and put in a few extra hours for pay… I can probably get her a few hundred bucks if she needs it."
Pinky shook his head.
"Mom needs money?"
"Yep. She needs it to take care of you."
"Oh." Palmer looked sad. "Okay, I'll tell her. Are you going to visit us again?"
"Maybe. I don't know."
"You should. You can meet my Grandpa Pepper. He's taking care of me while mommy fixes the bathroom sink." Palmer turned the videophone so that Perry could see an elderly platypus fast asleep in a red chair.
"Is Grandpa Pepper alive?"
"I dunno. I tried poking him with a stick. He made a noise like this." Palmer snorted.
"Well, if he ever wakes up, ask him to tell you about the time he rode a dinosaur." Perry said.
"He rode a dinosaur?"
"He looks like he could have. Just don't take him into any museums. The staff might mistake him for living history."
Grandpa Pepper suddenly woke up. "Palmer, did I ever tell you about the time I ate a marshmallow?" He asked.
"Eight times." Palmer called back.
"Well, it was a very sunny day and there was lots of grass…"
Palmer shook his head and turned back to Perry. "Will you please come over? Mommy really misses you." He gave Perry puppy eyes.
"Fine. The sad eyes work. I'll be right there."
"I drew that pony on the wall." Palmer said, pointing to a drawing of a baby horse. "And over there, I drew a rainbow with sharp teeth. Rainbows with sharp teeth can kill people."
"Very nice." Perry said.
"Mom's still fixing the sink." Palmer dragged Perry over to a red chair. "But here's Grandpa Pepper! Grandpa Pepper, this is my daddy! Perry!"
Grandpa Pepper looked sleepily at Perry. "Are you my brother?"
"Nope." Perry said.
"Well, Johnny, it's nice to see you again on this new sunny day. Have I ever told you about the time I ate a marshmallow?"
Perry looked out of the garage's window. It was pouring rain.
"By the way, he doesn't have a brother." Palmer whispered to Perry.
Poppy came down the stairs. "I'm finally finished. How are you two getting-" She stopped and stared at Perry. "Oh… hi."
"Hi." Perry said.
It would have been silent, but Grandpa Pepper was busy telling the lamp about the time he ate a marshmallow.
"Did Palmer give you my message?" Perry finally asked.
"Yes. Thanks." Poppy said.
"Grandpa Pepper's befriended your lamp."
"He's my father."
"I know."
"Do you have any platypus friends?" Grandpa Pepper asked the lamp. He waited. Then he asked again.
"He's on repeat mode." Perry said.
"If you aren't going to talk to me, then I am not going to talk to you." Grandpa Pepper growled. He turned away. "I'm not talking to Marley."
"You don't have to put in extra hours for me." Poppy said.
"I have to."
"What do you mean, you HAVE to?"
"You need the money. I'm earning you the money."
"That doesn't mean you HAVE to."
"I'm trying to help, gosh! Why are you getting on me?"
"I'm sorry. I'm just a little stressed, okay?"
"Story of my life."
"Like you have anything to worry about. You hardly come over here. I've had to watch Palmer on my own ever since Dennis was stuck in prison."
"Well, luckily now you have Mr. Half-Dead Marshmallow Eater to help!" Perry retorted. "I couldn't come because I was BUSY, I keep telling you! I have to fight still. And Phineas and Ferb need me."
"PALMER NEEDS YOU TOO!" Poppy shouted.
"I'M SORRY YOU THINK I'M A JERK, BUT I CAN'T JUST DROP EVERYTHING!"
"STOP YELLING!" Palmer covered his ears.
"I LIKE BANANAS!" Grandpa Pepper chimed in.
Poppy burst into tears. "It's so hard… It's too hard!"
Perry let out a breath. "You don't have to cry."
Poppy kept sobbing.
Perry walked over to her and awkwardly put an arm around her. "I'm sorry. I guess we both were being crazy. I'll try to come more often, okay? And I'll send you the extra money I earn."
"James, did I ever tell you about the time I ate a marshmallow?" Grandpa Pepper asked Palmer.
"Yep." Palmer said.
"Well, it seems like just yesterday…"
"That's because it WAS yesterday." Palmer reminded him. "You ate one out of the cupboard."
Poppy wiped her eyes and stared at Perry. "I hate fighting with you. Unless it's play-fighting."
"I know. Me too. Friends?"
Poppy smiled and gave him a hug. "Thanks. For coming. For paying. All of that."
"Welcome."
Grandpa Pepper stood up. "Calvin and I are going to race now."
"Is Calvin the end table?" Perry asked.
"No, that is Calvin." Grandpa Pepper pointed at Palmer. "Are you ready?"
"YEAH!" Palmer shouted.
Grandpa Pepper started to walk.
He fell asleep on the floor.
Palmer stared at him. "I guess that wore him out."
"He's old." Poppy said.
Perry wandered into the kitchen. He'd gotten back late enough to miss dinner- and everything else. Everyone was asleep now.
He opened up the fridge and poured himself a glass of chocolate milk. It would be enough to sustain him.
Phineas wandered into the kitchen, half-asleep. "Hey, Perry."
Perry froze.
"I like your hat." Phineas said sleepily. "It's interesting."
Perry continued to stare at Phineas, wondering what to do. He stuck Piggy Woo, the translatorinator Doof gave him, into his mouth. "You're asleep. You're dreaming."
"I kind of figured that out when you started talking." Phineas murmured.
"You should probably go back to bed."
Phineas got up on the kitchen table. "I love dreaming. Now I'm going to fly."
Perry shook his head. He grabbed Phineas' hand and pulled him toward the stairs.
"Get back in bed and fall back asleep."
"I thought I was asleep."
"You are. But now, dream that you're falling asleep in bed."
Perry shoved Phineas back into his room and shut the door. He spit Piggy Woo back into his hand, pulled off his fedora and ran back downstairs.
"I had the weirdest dream last night." Phineas said at breakfast.
"What was it about?" Asked Ferb.
"Perry was sitting at the table, wearing this awesome hat, and he was talking to me!" Phineas said.
Perry chattered.
"Guess what?" Candace said, coming into the room. "I got a SIGNED KENDRINE ADEMS POSTER!"
"OH COOL!" Phineas said.
Candace held up the poster. It had a picture of a blond woman on it, and was signed, "OH YEAH, Candace! Luv Kendrine."
Perry hated it with a burning passion.
"We should totally play one of her songs!" Phineas said.
"We totally shouldn't." Perry said.
"I have her new single!" Candace said. "It's called Oh, Baby!" She stuck a CD into the CD player.
"YOU'RE KILLING MY EARS." Perry whimpered.
"Oh baby, oh baby, oh, oh, oh baby!" Sang the CD player.
"Repeat those lyrics five thousand times and you got the song down pat." Perry muttered.
"Perry the platypus, you're back already?" Doofenshmirtz asked.
Perry had just come in through his front door.
"Oh. Now I remember. Monogram said you needed some extra cash and were working more hours… I don't really have a scheme for you to foil right now, but… uh… hey, why don't you have a seat or something and we can watch some TV?"
Perry sat down on the purple couch.
"I'll make some popcorn. In the meantime, maybe you can listen to some music. The remote for that's right on the coffee table there."
Perry pushed a button on one of the remotes.
"NO, that's the remote for my Hamburgerinator! I hope you didn't just turn some innocent person into a hamburger… although… that would be kind of funny. It's that remote over there."
Perry pushed the ON button on the music remote.
The radio came on. "Coming up, the number-one song by Kendrine Adems, 'Oh Honey'!"
"Oh honey, oh honey, oh, oh, oh honey!"
Perry quickly switched it off.
"Not an Adems fan, huh?" Doofenshmirtz said, sitting down next to him. "No matter. I hope there's a good movie on." He turned on the TV.
"And now, the world's slowest animal! The sloth! Let's watch as it sneezes."
Doofenshmirtz changed the channel.
"The wonderful world of platypuses, and how they are a billion times better than stupid old humans!"
"Hey, let's watch that!" Perry said.
"It's not funny, Perry the platypus." Doofenshmirtz changed the channel again.
"Pinhead Pierre, has the smallest head of which I'm aware!"
"I guess this is preferable." Doofenshmirtz said.
Perry shrugged.
The two of them started on the popcorn.
