A/N: Remember how I said I was going to wait until episode 20 to write about Nunnally, and I was going to wait for Anya? Well, there was nothing about Nana, but a HECK of a lot of Anya. I experienced an extreme WHAT THE HELL reaction to that entire episode - not sure if I was alone in that, or not.
So you can probably guess by now that this story is going to hella diverge from the actual R2 (though I mooched off of what they did with Anya - although it's yet to be explained, I think it's cool). The terms of Suzaku's Live Geass are a little different in this story, and he's obviously not crazy. Also, C.C. getting her memories back, like, now, was unexpected to me. Since the series is in progress, and heading towards the climax, we're obviously going to be seeing more divergences, to which the author of this story will probably say, "Oh, to hell with it. I'm going to do the best I can." It may mean some picking and choosing, so please bear with me.
Anyway, thanks to LunaLocket, A, AznAnimeChick, Asami-chan37, Suruma (who picked up on a good little detail), Anonymous, Himig, FlareKnight, and WithABunny for reviews! I know not much happened last time, but I'm glad you guys commented. I love hearing from you.
FYI to WithABunny (to understand the last part of this chapter): Geass is a sort of mind control (usually) that has varying forms. Lelouch has a Geass that allows him to issue commands and have people obey them. When someone is under the effect of a Geass, their eyes sort of turn...pink. Yep. A Knightmare is a giant humanoid fighting thingamabob, and Anya was a Knightmare pilot for the Britannian side.
As always, I love comments from you guys, and hope you enjoy this chapter!
D
P.S. The first part of this chapter is not supposed to imply any sort of pairing, just explain, mostly, something about Nunnally's character. Although I did use it to explain, a little, Lelouch's relationship with Euphie (after he kills her in Season 1, at least in the sub I saw, he was all "Goodbye, Euphie. You were my first love." Which never sat right with me. Until now).
4
The terrorist Zero has a dead man's memories.
Zero was born when he stormed away from his father's throne at age nine. Zero grew from protecting Nunnally as he carried her through the fields of Japanese casualties. Zero's resolve strengthened as he saw the pain war caused reflected in the expressive green eyes of his first and only friend, who was trying so desperately not to cry.
Lelouch Lamperouge would remember the cicadas in the spring in Japan, and the blue, blue summer skies of Britannia. He would remember posing for one of Clovis' portraits, remember chasing Euphemia around the gardens, remember trying to teach little Nunnally how to play chess, remember how rich his mother's voice had been. He would see a proud, spirited Suzaku Kururugi, who was no more than a child but taught young Lelouch so, so much, and understand.
He would recall the good times. He would remember the games the Imperial siblings played: of adulthood, of bravery, and of marriage.
Euphie was the closest thing he'd had to a girlfriend back then, at eight—and they were related, of course—but she was so sweet and kind and pretty. Their bond was almost as strong as the one he shared with Nunnally, but not quite there, not yet. Still, he loved to talk to her while she braided little Nana's hair, because she would always smile and listen.
"You two should get married," said Nunnally, who was too young to know better. "I'd love that."
Euphie giggled at that, and Lelouch made a face. Cornelia, the older sister, who was always nearby, said firmly, "They can't get married, Nana."
"Of course they can!" Nunnally chirped, standing up and brushing off her skirt. Her violet-petal eyes sparked. "Brother, Euphie, come with me. I'll marry you."
Marianne, holding a hastily picked bunch of poppies, was the flower girl, Clovis, who begged to get back to his paintings, the unwilling ring-bearer, Cornelia, humoring her sister, the maid of honor. While Nunnally, her hair freshly braided, improvised some vows—"And you'll love each other forever and ever and ever"—a green-haired girl watched from the shadows of the trees, and sighed.
Lelouch found the whole thing a little silly, but indulged Nunnally anyway. When he suggested marrying her off next, to Clovis, she politely turned him down, shaking her head and giving him one of her brightest grins.
Nunnally always liked to play the priest. She liked seeing people together, and happy, and loving. She thought that Lelouch and Euphie, two of her favorite people in the world, deserved to be happy and loving more than anyone else.
That hazy period after Marianne's death should have been the end of the wedding games. But children were children, and Nunnally grew sad, and restless, with two legs she could no longer use, and two eyes that would no longer see.
So, a few months into their stay in Japan, Lelouch suggested another mock wedding to cheer her up. He'd planned on officiating, and marrying her to Suzaku. He thought she would have liked that. She liked Suzaku, at least.
But Nunnally had insisted otherwise, and, the next day, Lelouch found himself married to Suzaku instead, with a makeshift ring of grass on his fourth finger.
(They'd fought it out almost immediately afterwards, yelling and kicking and scratching—Suzaku won, as always, but that little "lovers' spat" had helped Lelouch feel validated, partially because the stupid ring had fallen off. Marriage was a girly game, and he'd only been though that for Nunnally's sake.)
It was alright, though. He endured it, because he adored his sister.
And Nunnally always liked to play the priest.
--
Nunnally didn't quite know where she was. She couldn't have been far from Pendragon, and yet…here there were flowers, and birds that sang, and fresh air. It was reminiscent of her room in the transport to Japan. She had always loved flowers; they reminded her of her mother's garden. Marianne vi Britannia had filled the world with bright colors and soft petals in the spring. Nunnally could smell flowers now, wherever she was. The birds might have been fake, the air filtered, but the flowers, those were real.
She had to be in a room, though—she knew that from the door that opened, and the boots clacking on a hard floor, whenever he came in to talk to her. Zero.
He was back now, back to check on her, ask her a couple of questions. He said he'd give her anything he wanted, but all she really wanted was information: what had happened to all of her friends? To her family? To her brother? But he wasn't about to tell her that.
Instead he said, without a trace of sarcasm, "Are you comfortable?"
"Ah, yes." She had to stop herself from adding the "thank you" which immediately sprang to her lips. Nunnally was a good Britannian girl, but she was, essentially, a prisoner here. Thanking her captor would not be ideal.
Zero was silent, but he hadn't left. He was pacing. His footsteps echoed on the floor. Nunnally stayed perfectly still, wondering, as always, how to react in the terrorist's presence. He was always so charged, so tense, and she was afraid of offending him. Who knew what he might do?
He stopped pacing. "Is there anything else you need?"
Nunnally was about to say "no," but stopped herself. Superficially, there wasn't anything else she needed. She was being well cared for, and a shy, shrinking girl would come in three times a day with her all of her favorite foods. The way the girl's long hair occasionally brushed Nunnally's fingertips reminded her of C.C. But there was something else she wanted, so she put on her best Governor voice and said, "I want to know: what are you planning to do with me, Lord Zero? Why are you keeping me here?"
Zero laughed, but there was a nervous edge in his voice, and Nunnally noticed. "I'm hoping that you'll see reason," he said. "Although they were naïve, I admired your intentions towards the Japanese people. Now that the war is over, I need someone to help me create that peaceful world you idealized."
"Me?" Nunnally gasped, just a little.
"Your motives are pure," Zero said, by way of explanation. "Our cooperation will help me gain the trust of the Britannians, and, therefore, unite what's left of the warring factions. Will you join me?"
Join him. Create a peaceful world. Peace and happiness were all Nunnally had ever wanted, for anyone, and yet…she thought of Clovis and his beautiful paintings, of Euphie with her kind ways and brilliant smile, of Cornelia, strong and protective. She thought of all of the nameless, faceless men and women who had died to put Zero where he was today, and shuddered.
She thought of Lelouch, the brother she might never see again. She couldn't ask Zero about Lelouch; he wouldn't know Lelouch existed, and if she told him, then he would go after him, too. Zero wanted the Imperial family dead, with her, apparently, as the only exception. If she waited…maybe if she waited…
Lelouch would rescue her.
Unless…
Nunnally shook her head. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "I can't. Not right now."
Zero did not react, and it scared her. How quiet he was. "I'm sorry," she said again.
"Very well," Zero snapped, turning on his heel. "I'll give you some time to think it over."
He left Nunnally alone with her flowers, in darkness.
--
C.C. was worried about her Master.
This was the second time in three days that she'd found him, slumped outside of that very same door, with his feet planted on the ground, his head bent forward, and his elbows on his knees with his hands hanging between his legs. He was wearing that mask of his, so she couldn't see his face, but she could hear him.
She approached hesitantly, afraid that he'd lash out (even though after the first time, he said he never would). He sounded as if he was crying, but then she realized that he wasn't. He was laughing, softly, hysterically. His shoulders shook.
It frightened her. She reached out to touch his arm, wondering if he could see her. He didn't react to her touch, so she asked, "Master? What's wrong?"
Nothing. Just laughter. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Maybe nothing was wrong. Maybe something was just terribly funny. C.C. wasn't going to question, and she began to draw back, but—
There had been another time when Lelouch had laughed and laughed and laughed. After a battle in one of those giant machines, the ones that frightened her so much now. This was the one where he'd opened the hatch and discovered…discovered what some C.C., who was not this C.C., had already known for a very long time. The White Knight, the one that Lelouch had been fighting, his greatest obstacle, was his best friend, Suzaku Kururugi. C.C. looked down on him, his Knightmare machine bathed in moonlight, as he laughed and laughed and laughed. That laugh…
That laugh was the sound of a broken heart.
C.C.'s vision flashed green for a moment, and she shook her head. She was here, now. Wherever that was, she wasn't there. She was kneeling by her Master, watching him laugh here, not in some other country, after a battle, here. But now she knew what his laughter meant.
Gingerly, she reached for his arm again, and when he didn't pull away, she slipped it around his shoulders and tried to push him to his feet. "Master," she said, "You aren't well. I'm going to take you back to your room."
He stopped laughing but didn't acknowledge her, still looking at the ground. He didn't resist as she, stumbling and weak, managed to push him up. He was too thin. She made a mental note to get him to eat a little more.
C.C. didn't look at him as they walked back to his room. Her Master felt warm to her under the smooth fabric of his costume. She wondered if he was getting sick. Just in case, she laid him down on the couch and removed his mask, so he could breathe more easily. He had been sweating, and his hair was damp.
"I'll get you a glass of water, Master," she said softly. "Wait there."
When she returned, glass in hand, he was still staring at the ceiling, his long-lashed violet eyes unblinking. She set the water on a small table and waited for her instructions.
"Don't tell anyone about this, C.C.," was all he said, his voice flat.
"Oh, no, Master," she breathed, trembling. She wouldn't dream of it.
He sat up, rubbing his forehead. "Stop looking at me like that," he said. "I'm fine. Fine."
"Okay." C.C. became very fascinated with the floor.
She heard her Master sigh. "I have other matters to attend to," he said. "Stay here. No—make sure Nunnally gets lunch, and then stay out of sight."
"Yes, Master."
He left for the bathroom, and she heard water running as he washed his face. She looked at the orange plush doll, slumped on the couch, and sat down next to it. Some things about her Master, C.C. was sure, she would never understand.
--
"You don't need her. You have me."
"Rolo, not now."
"I'm just saying. You don't need her. You never needed her. Please, Brother, don't reject me. I'm worth just as much as she is, if you would just give me a—"
"You tried to kill her, Rolo! If Jeremiah hadn't been there, and Sayoko hadn't realized, you would have. So don't—don't beg for acceptance. I'm not going to give it to you. Why are you still here?!"
"Brother, please."
"You still don't understand? I'm not speaking to you, Rolo. I hate you!"
"Brother…"
"I was never your brother. Get away from me, Rolo. I don't want to talk to you. Not now…not ever."
--
There was always the issue of Nunnally.
Lelouch Lamperouge's blind, beloved little sister. He had taken up the mask of Zero for her, to create a world where she could live happily, so that maybe, one day, when she opened her eyes again, whatever she saw would make her smile. That—and revenge against his father, for his mother, Marianne's, death—had been his motive at the beginning, before his personal vendetta had turned into so much more.
And now…Nunnally didn't want to be a part of that perfect world? Or did she just despise Zero?
Zero.
There was no way that Lelouch could tell Nunnally that he was Zero. At least, not now. Where some had seen Zero as the figurehead of a glorious movement, others, like Suzaku and Nunnally, had seen him as a terrorist. People like that wouldn't believe that the ends justified the means.
To Nunnally, Zero was the murderer of her siblings, the one who started the war. In the long term, she might see the peace after the war, and how much better everything will be with the Empire gone. But at present, he was stuck.
Lelouch was Zero, and he couldn't tell his sister.
He splashed cold water on his face, and tried to snap out of it. He could easily give up the mask of Zero. He had tried, once before. Zero would fade away into the pages of history, and Lelouch could save his sister and live a normal life. Normal…how tempting that was.
But everyone else wouldn't let go of Zero so easily. He remembered how the Black Rebellion had floundered once Zero disappeared. They needed a leader again, now. Someone had to step in where the Britannian Emperor, who had controlled two-thirds of the globe, had left off. Not a new Emperor, but something different. Something more. The newly liberated countries needed some kind of overarching leadership, someone to oversee the repairs, act as a guiding hand, or they would dissolve into chaos, unused to such freedom.
And yet…
Nunnally needed Lelouch. The world needed Zero.
He clutched the edge of the sink, and stared into the mirror. To keep himself from breaking down, maybe he needed Zero, too.
--
Anya Alstreim, still dressed in her Knight of Rounds uniform, wandered the basement of the Ikaruga in a daze. She was looking for something, but didn't know quite what it was, or where, only that it was somewhere. Somewhere here, in the Black Knights' flagship.
Her vision flashed green, then pink, then orange, and she staggered, falling back against the wall. What was she doing? Why was this happening? It was very curious, indeed.
Don't worry, Anya. Trust me.
Standing, she looked around, but there was no one there. "Strange," she said, expressionless. She blinked once, twice, wondering what she had come here for.
Let me guide you.
"Who is that?" she called, but nobody answered her. She shook her head. It would be an inopportune time to go insane—she'd just been freed by the Black Knights, allowed to get back to her Knightmare frame, Mordred, and instead she was wandering around and hearing voices.
Anya took out her diary, to record this strange turn of events, and then stopped. It was as if her hand was acting of its own accord, closing the diary back up. She dropped it and stepped back as it clattered to the ground. "Who are you?" she asked, more to herself than anyone else.
Don't worry.
She took a deep breath, and suddenly felt all fear and anxiety drain from her body. She was calm. Unusually so. It was…disarming. She closed her eyes and said, "Understood."
When she opened them, her irises were rimmed in pink.
Anya smiled, and walked down the hallway, glancing to her left, and right, at the doors she passed. There was something up the hall, something noticeably off, something strong. Someone with a Geass? Someone who had been Geassed? Maybe it was Lelouch. Maybe Lelouch was in there.
She pressed a button, and the door opened.
--
Suzaku's head snapped up at the sound. He'd been asleep. He thought he still was. The girl standing there couldn't possibly be… "Anya?"
Anya shook her head, and her eyes widened. She looked at her hand on the doorframe and yanked it back. She didn't appear to know where she was. Suzaku strained forward. What had happened to her?
She was surprised to see him, he could tell that much. Anya rarely let her emotions show, but she seemed genuinely shocked to see Suzaku here, bound and imprisoned. After a second, her face reverted to her normal indifference. She said nothing, looking at the rest of Suzaku's cell with masked interest.
"Anya," Suzaku said again. If she was walking around freely, she must be on the side of the Black Knights, now. Even so. "Anya, it's me. Suzaku."
"Suzaku," Anya repeated, characteristically deadpan. "Where am—" She stopped in the middle of her sentence, her face oddly blank.
"Anya?"
"Sorry," she said. "Wrong door."
She stepped out and closed it behind her, leaving Suzaku to wonder, not for the first time, what the hell was going on.
--
P.S.: The pairings poll is now up on my profile, if you want to sound off. I'm starting to develop a clearer sense of where this plot is going, so I can't promise to fulfill all your wishes, but I'm still interested in what you guys would like.
Next time: Gino and more Anya, Suzaku, and, ehh...Lelouch, Kallen, and whatever happened to Nina? (Answer: no one cares). See you then!
