Chapter Four: Loss

'The room's eighteen dollars a day. That's every day.' The fat, balding hotel manager looked at Faith sternly as he spoke, his keys jangling as he moved. Faith nodded.

'Yeah, I know. I'll get it to you by tomorrow, I swear.'

He sighed and shrugged in response. 'It's not like I own the place.'

Faith flashed him a smile. 'But I bet you will someday.'

'Not if I listen to broads like you.'

Buffy and Spike appeared at the door and stepped in. Spike looked around at the room, his face an expressionless mask.

The manager motioned to them. 'Roommates are extra.'

Buffy smiled thinly. 'We're just visiting.'

The manager gave up and walked out of the room. Buffy reached out and pulled the door shut behind her, turning to Faith. Spike leant against the dresser and folded his arms.

'So, what brings you to the poor side of town?'

The blonde slayer folded her arms. 'Cloven Guy. Goes by the name Kakistos.'

Faith was immediately taken aback. 'What do you know about Kakistos?'

Spike interrupted. 'That he's here.' He rubbed at the bruise on his neck absent-mindedly.

The look on Faith's face betrayed her.

Buffy folded her arms, mimicking Spike's pose. 'We're not happy to see old friends, are we? What'd he do to you?'

The brunette grabbed her bag, shaking her head nervously. 'It's what I did to him, all right?' She put the bag on the bed and started to pack things into it quickly and messily.

'And what was that? Faith, you came here for a reason. I can help.'

Faith looked up from her packing, a scowl strewn across her face. 'You can mind your own business.' She pointed at herself. 'I'm the one that can handle this.'

'Yeah. You're a real bad-ass when it comes to packing.' Spike said, and received a scathing glance from Faith.

Buffy raised a hand to silence him. 'What was that you said about my problem? Gotta deal and move on? Well, we have the 'moving on' part right here. What about dealing? Is that just something you're gonna dump on me?'

The other slayer finished her packing and pointed an accusing finger at Buffy as she picked up the full case. 'You don't know me. You don't know what I've been through. I'll take care of this, all right?' She headed for the door.

'Like you took care of your Watcher?' Spike said. Faith stopped cold and turned, looking sadly towards Spike and then Buffy.

The blonde lowered her voice. 'He killed her, didn't he?'

Faith grew angry. 'They don't have a word for what he did to her.' A knock sounded at the door and Faith glanced through the peephole to see the manager again, looking very tired and pale. 'Oh, what now?'

Buffy grabbed her attention again. 'Faith, you run, he runs after you.'

'That's where the head start comes in handy.' Faith said sarcastically. She opened the door and the manager fell in, revealing Kakistos. Faith stepped back into the room, horror clouding her face. The disfigured vampire smiled at her.

'Faith.'

Kakistos roared and grabbed Faith by the neck. She grabbed his wrist and tried to pull him off of her, but his strength outmatched hers. Faith struggled, clawing at him desperately.

'No!'

Buffy rushed up between them and shoved Faith back into the room, forcing Kakistos to let go. She slammed the door on his arm and he yelled in anger and pain. He pulled his arm out and the blonde slammed the door, locking it and putting on the safety chain. She turned, leaning against the wood. 'I just bought us a little more…'

Kakistos punched through the door and his cloven handed groped round for Buffy.

'...time!'

The brunette slayer began to panic, screaming. 'NO! NOOOOO!'

Buffy looked at her and then to Spike. 'Scream later! Escape now!' She ran to the bathroom, dragging Faith with her and Spike close on their heels. Kakistos kicked the door in just as the bathroom window shattered and the three scrambled through. Buffy looked toward the other two, checking for injuries. 'Let's go!'

She took Faith's hand again, and the trio began to run. They reached a fork in the alley and quickly headed left. Spike glanced back, seeing Trick behind them. He urged the girls on faster, not seeing Trick signal for two others to double back. He then headed to the right with another minion, whilst two followed them.

Buffy took that moment to crash into a warehouse window. Faith followed on shaky legs, while Spike hit the floor with a grunt and then stood up, looking out the window to see a vampire run past, missing their escape. Buffy panted loudly. 'We're okay.' She turned to face Faith. 'What happened?'

Faith looked straight through her, shaking.

'Faith, what happened?'

The brunette looked at her, as if suddenly realising she was there. 'I... I was there when he killed my Watcher, and I saw what he did to her... what he was gonna do to me. I tried to stop him, but I... I couldn't. And I ran.'

'Faith, first rule of slaying: don't die. You did the right thing. Okay? You didn't die. Now you do the math. One of him, three of us.'

Faith looked around, shaking her head. 'No.'

'Yes.'

Spike shook his head, backing up Faith's answer. 'No.' He pointed behind Buffy and the slayer turned, seeing the bodies of a pizza delivery guy and many others.

'This is his place.' Faith said, fear tinting her voice.

'He drove us here.' Spike observed.

One of the vampires that had been chasing them appeared at an entrance and growled at them. They began to run through the warehouse. The vampire gives chase and two others come in the other side and try to head them off. Buffy stopped by a bucket and put her foot in it, kicking it into one of their follower's faces. He stumbled backwards and fell over a chair. She performed a full spinning hook kick to the other vampire and a side kick to one behind her, who falls backwards over a table. Buffy ran and jumped onto the table; log rolled over it and kicked him in the back as he tries to get up.

Kakistos walked into the building, his healthy eye fixed on Faith. Buffy rolled to a stand on the table and yelled at Spike as a vampire approached behind him. She didn't see him attack as she grabbed a crow bar and swung it like a bat towards another vampire advancing on her. It hit the demon full in the face, knocking her out. Buffy turned, seeing no sign of Spike but hearing a scuffle behind her. She prayed that he was doing okay as she saw Kakistos advancing on Faith. The other slayer was terrified out of her wit, something Buffy never expected to see from her.

'Faith!' The brunette looked up at her. 'Don't die!' She threw the crow bar to her and the other slayer caught it in mid-air but before she could swing it at Kakistos, he punched her hard and knocked her into a bunch of wooden beams against the wall. Faith hit the floor as the beams fell.

Trick walked in calmly, nodding his head. He turned toward Spike, who was struggling with a vampire behind the two slayers. He tapped the vampire, pointing towards Buffy and it took off to join the fray. Trick smiled at Spike, who scowled back. The black vampire threw a punch, which caught Spike squarely in the face and knocked him out in one blow.

Buffy knife handed her attacker in the neck and threw him into a front tuck off the table. The disfigured vampire calmly stepped up to Faith as she scrambled up against the wall, cowering. He reached down and grabbed her by the shirt, yanking her off the floor in one smooth motion.

'NO!'

He grinned, punching her in the face.

Buffy moved off the table, roundhouse kicking the legs out from under a vampire standing on it. He rolled to the floor and Buffy staked him cleanly. She looks up to see Kakistos punching Faith repeatedly. Behind her, the unconscious vampire from earlier roused, just as Kakistos punched Faith enough to throw her to the floor. He roared loudly as Buffy moved to attack him. She kicked him in the back of the knee, spun round and tried to backhand him in the face. He blocked it as she spun round the other way and managed to land the blow. The previously downed vampire got up from the floor and ran from the warehouse.

Buffy plunged a stake downward, and swore as it wouldn't penetrate the thick hide of the old vampire. He grabbed Buffy by the hair, lifting her and throwing her back. She backhanded him again and he swung at her, missing. She stood up and tried to stake him again but even though the stake went in deeper, it didn't do any good. He grabbed her by the head again.

'I guess you need a bigger stake, Slayer!' He laughed maniacally.

Faith looked around and picked up one of the broken beams, thrusting it toward Kakistos before he could react. He looked down in surprise and then looked back up to Faith, snarling as he turned to dust. Buffy fell from his grip and looked up at Faith in amazement. For a second they remained in silence, before Buffy remembered Spike. She jumped up, looking around.

'Where is he?'

Faith panted, looking around with her.

'He was fighting someone and then…I didn't see where he went.' Faith looked to Buffy. 'Maybe he ran.'

Buffy frowned. 'Spike never runs. He isn't a coward. He is far too cocky.'

'You like him.' It was a statement more than a question. Faith raised an eyebrow as Buffy avoided eye contact with her.

'I care a lot about him and now isn't the time.' Buffy whispered, moving towards the back of the warehouse. Faith followed her as she walked into a room, which seemed deserted on first glance before she noticed the pale, still, leather clad figure in the corner. The blonde cried out, moving towards her friend like a blur. Faith stood over them, concern on her face.

'Is he okay?'

Buffy lifted his head, her hand gingerly going to the bite marks on his throat. He wasn't breathing. She cradled him gently, much as he had held her earlier on in the day. 'Spike, please…wake up.'

Faith knelt next to her. She checked for a pulse, her face falling when she found none. 'Buffy…he's gone…'

Buffy began to cry, holding him close. Faith suddenly paled, noticing the blood on the corner of Spike's mouth. She shook the blondes shoulder and pointed at the offending liquid. Buffy sniffed hard and looked at it in disbelief.

'No…they couldn't have…why did they…god…he can't…' She cried again.

For a while they remained there, one slayer feeling the stab of guilt at a situation mostly her fault and the other feeling the grief of losing the one person who knew her best.

Angel looked up from his book as light footsteps entered his domain. Buffy wouldn't make eye contact with him as he stood to greet her and he knew why. He wasn't an idiot and he read the papers. He decided to avoid the subject, and let her speak about it if she needed to.

'You haven't been by in a while.'

'New slayer…big trouble.' Buffy didn't smile, but he could clearly see the tear stains on her face. He motioned for her to sit down but she refused, keeping her distance from him, her arms folded across her chest, as if she was closed off from everything. 'You know already?'

It was a question and Angel bit his lip. 'Yeah. I read it in the paper and heard the rest on the grapevine. I kind of figured you wouldn't be by for a while.'

'I need your help.' Buffy raised tired eyes to meet his at last. Angel furrowed his brow. 'When we found…him…there was blood. On his face. I'm scared they might have turned him. If they have…' She took a deep breath and before she continued, Angel knew what she was asking of him. 'If they did…I need you to take care of it. I haven't told the others. Willow has barely spoken and Xander is a mess.'

'I hardly imagine anyone is in a good state.' Angel mumbled. Buffy almost cracked a smile.

'Giles hasn't even got the strength to say 'I told you so'. He kept telling me not to take Spike on patrol or anything. It's not like we were even patrolling…we were going to talk to Faith – it was an ambush. And Faith…she hadn't been around a week and something bad happens. Now she won't stop apologising. I can't be around her because that means I think about him and…god this is all my fault…' She collapsed on the floor against the wall, her hands covering her face as she fought with her own tears.

Angel moved to kneel in front of her, his hands resting on her knees. 'Buffy…people get hurt…this isn't your fault. Spike hardly would have taken no for an answer.'

'Please don't…' She whispered. 'It is my fault. Some vampire got him because I was distracted. Now he might be a vampire and…I can't even deal with that. I haven't been on patrol in three days because I know he might be there…but he isn't him…he's a monster. Not my friend…not my Spike.'

Angel couldn't help the surge of jealousy that flooded his system. Since his untimely return, his relationship with Buffy had been strained. And when Spike found out, the blonde had paid him a visit, warning him as to the dangers of restarting what they had before. Angel had seen it then…the boy was willing and ready to take him on, to stop him from hurting Buffy again. He was completely in love with her but couldn't be more than a friend.

And he didn't know if Buffy felt the same. She had been off with him since his return, but that could have been due to the events of last year. But now, seeing her in pieces over the death of her friend and the way she was talking about him…maybe it was possible there was something between them. If Angel wasn't there and hadn't returned…maybe she could have been happy.

Jealousy was replaced with regret at his own wellbeing.

He sighed, pulling Buffy to her feet. He attempted to hug her, show her some comfort but she pulled away, completely out of his grip.

'I can't. Not now…I have to go home. Mom is worried since this all happened. You know she was fond of him.' She was refusing him eye contact again. He waited for her to finish, knowing that she was about to make her exit. 'Can you just do what I asked? Take care of it.'

'I will Buffy…are you going to come back?'

She raised her eyes then and he saw the raw pain reflected back at him. 'I don't know.'

Then she high tailed it out of his view. He simply stood, the light casting a glow on his face as he contemplated thoughts that chilled him to the bone.

Had he done it again by returning, intentionally or not? Had his return somehow influenced events? Would Spike be alive now if he wasn't? And had he destroyed Buffy's chance at happiness with someone who could show her the sun?

He didn't know, and couldn't comprehend the consequences. So he did the only thing he knew to do…he picked up his coat and did what she had asked.

He went looking for Spike.

The cemetery was dark and quiet, being nearly midnight. Angel felt a cold chill in his bones, felt the discontent in the air. Something was brewing in Sunnydale and no one could ignore it now. He just wished he could help Buffy, but at this time, he was beginning to think she was better off without him. He knew he had to leave, he just wasn't sure when. She had just lost someone close to her; could she really cope if he just walked away and left her again?

A noise distracted him and he moved in its direction. He came across the recently dug grave by accident, not actually knowing where his plot had been situated. Fresh flowers were scattered, as well as letters from various friends. Angel knelt down, feeling grief for the lost comrade, even if they had never seen eye to eye.

Okay, in all honesty, Spike hated him and he hadn't had a fond thought for the blonde Cockney either. They had been rivals, and Spike had hated him even more since the events last year. Angel regretted it – Spike had been trying to help Buffy and had landed in hospital for his attempts.

Because of me.

He closed his eyes and then re opened them, reading the script on the tombstone. "William Blackwell, Beloved Son, Best Friend". He felt the regret hit him like a brick wall. He could have done something.

What could you have done?

Angel stood, moving backwards. His heart thundered in his head and he opened his eyes, confusion clouding their colour. His heart wasn't beating. His heart hadn't beat for two hundred years. So what was that noise?

He stilled, listening. Someone was banging against wood. He moved forward, hoping to god the noise wasn't coming from where it sounded. A loud clap of thunder made him jump and he crouched down as the rain began to fall. A fist suddenly punched through the dirt above Spike's grave and Angel grabbed it, digging with the other. He knew what it was like to drag yourself out of your own grave, and he intended to stop any more hurt from coming to Buffy.

It isn't him. It isn't him.

After a few moments of struggling, Spike landed next to the grave in a heap. Angel moved backwards looking at the dishevelled and filthy teen. Mud coated his clothes, a Sunday suit his mother had obviously picked out for him.

It isn't him. Buffy can't cope with this. It isn't him. Do it!

Angel pulled the stake from his coat pocket with much hesitation. As Spike caught his bearings and turned around, he saw the brunette standing over him. Angel stopped, noticing for the first time that unlike new fledglings, Spike did not have his game face on. His brow furrowed as the boy panicked, looking around.

'What's going on?' His eyes widened in fear and he struggled to get up, backing away from Angel. The rain continued to fall on the both of them and then Angel sensed it, dropping the stake immediately. He moved forward again, this time raising his hands in a non-threatening gesture. Spike merely backed away further. 'What the fuck is going on?' He saw his own grave and the tombstone and froze, mid scurry. He looked down at himself. 'No…' He whispered, running a hand over his face.

'Spike, it's okay.' Angel knelt in front of him.

'I'm not…don't tell me…'

'It's okay…' Angel started again but blind panic overtook the newly risen vampire.

'This cannot be happening!' Spike climbed to his feet, shaking a little at first. 'I'm not…God…I still feel like me.'

Angel looked down at the grave and frowned. 'You are still you.'

'No, I know about this…Giles…he said that demons aren't the same people…just a shell. But I'm still ME!'

The brunette grabbed the younger man, holding him in place.

'You are still YOU. Spike…you haven't lost your soul.'