The Benefits of Amnesia
Chapter 4
Temari entered the room, an infant propped on her hip, and was followed by Shikamaru who was hastily fastening his jounin vest. His hair wasn't in a band but hung on his shoulders.
Hinata could only gape at the baby girl with blonde hair and dark eyes. She was in diapers, and unbearably cute. A year or so old, tears poured down her cheeks as she clutched Temari's uniform.
Hinata pulled out a chair and dropped to a seat as Gaara took the spot beside her. She didn't notice that he was closer to her than the others. He began to sip his coffee.
Hinata watched as Temari lowered the crying child to the highchair.
"You have a b-b-baby?"
Gaara watched his wife's eyes sparkle with envy.
"We have a child," Shikamaru corrected her, taking a seat beside Temari. From his shuriken pouch he unearthed a small jar of baby food and began to struggle with the cover.
Seated closest to the baby, Temari playfully tapped her nose. The child responded by grasping her finger.
Hinata watched them, a small smile crawling across her face. "What's her n-name?"
The door swung open and another person entered the room, his brown hair sticking out in all directions. "Sayaka," he growled, and eyed her suspiciously.
The man was savage looking. More so than he'd been at fourteen.
Kankuro.
He reminded her...sort of...of Kiba.
But Hinata recoiled, wanting to withdraw from his accusing glare.
"Hinata has amnesia," Shikamaru mentioned.
"She doesn't know anything," added Temari, amused. She scooped a spoon of slimy squash out from the jar.
Hinata blushed slightly. She knew some things!
Kankuro blinked. "Oh," he muttered, dismissing this information as though it wasn't very interesting at all. He took the empty seat between Gaara and Shikamaru.
Hinata idly watched Temari taunt the baby with her fingers. She offered the spoon, retracted the spoon, and made an assortment of bizarre noises, all while grinning evilly at her daughter.
Hinata bit her bottom lip. Was it cruel that she found the baby's alternating expressions of distress and relief to be absolutely adorable?
But the others had fallen into a heavy silence. It took her a while to notice. It was as though they were...waiting for something.
"She's not cooking!" Kankuro whispered loudly.
Hinata blinked. ...why was he looking at her?
As the puppeteer leapt to his feet and stormed out of the room, Temari glared at her, and Shikamaru rubbed his temples.
"How troublesome."
Someone's radio awoke. Hinata was baffled to hear Kankuro's enraged voice crackle through the speakers: "This amnesia thing is really inconvenient-!"
Shikamaru reached into his vest and turned his radio off. His wife, however, had fixed Hinata with a horrible sneer.
And Gaara...
Gaara seemed content with his coffee.
Hinata pressed her pointer fingers together. Was she supposed to cook breakfast for everyone? But she didn't know how to cook!
She again glanced at the Kazekage, curious of whether or not he was angry.
Gaara seemed to notice the attention, and she quickly looked away again.
He blankly returned to his coffee.
Coffee.
Yuck.
"Tea," he mentioned sarcastically, as though reading her mind. "I promise."
"You're lying," she automatically retorted.
A shock ran through her consciousness. Her response had been mechanical, as though it had happened a million times before. Hinata deeply inhaled. Gaara. Images of him flashed through her mind. His monotonous voice. His terrible glare.
And then she heard her own voice. Bland. Dry. But hers.
You drink too much coffee.
Gaara's eyes widened slightly. He seemed to catch her wave of nostalgia. "Hinata-?"
She turned away from him. She was too confused to voice what she felt. Instead, she searched desperately for a diversion. She found something of vague familiarity and latched to it. "Tsu-Tsunade-sama – I – she-"
But what did she mean to say?
Seeming dejected by her change, Gaara withdrew. "You remember her," he observed, as if to say, Not me. He turned back to his coffee.
But she knew who he was. Gaara – Gaara, from the forest of death!
She continued to breathe, and looked everywhere but at him.
Temari had gone back to feeding the child and Shikamaru had pulled out a spare jar of baby food, eying it as though he might try some. The infant was drooling squash everywhere.
Why did it feel like she was intruding upon a family affair?
No one else seemed to find her presence unnatural.
Shikamaru began to stand. With his hair tied and vest closed, he looked significantly tidier than he had when he'd entered. He lightly squeezed Temari's shoulder as he left the room.
Temari's focus remained on Sayaka. After the baby had managed to swallow more of the squash than she had belched, the mother stood and began to gather her. Gaara, meanwhile, lowered his emptied mug to the table.
Hinata stood, wondering whether she would be free to go back to her room. More importantly, would she ever be able to find it?
With the child in tow, Temari began to walk around the table, toward the door, Hinata assumed, until she made a surprising stop in front of her. Temari held the baby out, as though expecting her to take it.
Hinata opened and closed her mouth.
"You usually watch her when I'm on mission," Temari stated. "You say it's good practice for when you decide to-"
Feeling her face catch fire, Hinata quickly took the baby, if only to get Temari to stop talking. Eying her, Temari walked off.
Hinata swallowed. Practice? For when she decided to what! Her blush intensified. Was she...in a relationship? She glanced uncertainly at Gaara, who was as impassive as ever.
The concept was outlandish. She couldn't imagine a life outside of Konoha.
"Let's go," said Gaara, standing.
She followed him robotically, because it seemed her sole medium, as despairing as it was. She carried the infant against her chest, wondering if she was holding her correctly. Her arms felt weak and clammy as she followed Gaara into the private stairwell. The baby wasn't fretful, but drowsy, for which she was immensely grateful.
"How is your head?" Gaara asked from ahead of her.
Hinata looked up, absently gazing at the back of his neck. His shoulders were always slumped, just slightly, but not to depict his mood. Habitually. His voice, that ever-monotonous drone.
It sounded odd that he would say such a thing. It felt odd that he cared.
Hinata deeply inhaled. Physically, she was fine, but emotionally and otherwise, "Bad."
They continued to ascend the staircase until they reached one of the top floors and exited. Gaara lead her back into his office. She watched uncomfortably as he closed the door behind them.
But she was quickly distracted by the Nara baby who was becoming fussy in her arms.
Gaara observed. "She probably needs to be changed," he said.
Hinata raised the baby and sniffed her diaper. "Eugh," she agreed, wrinkling her nose.
"Here," said Gaara. He held his arms out, as though to receive the child.
There was a long pause.
"O-okay," said Hinata, nervously handing Sayaka over.
Ignoring the Hyuuga's look of dread, Gaara walked to his desk, still holding the child out at arms length. He gently lowered her to his impeccable desk top before reaching into a drawer and withdrawing a-
Hinata could only gape, beyond puzzled that Gaara kept diapers in his desk. He changed the baby's diaper in record timing, his expression never deviating from his perpetual indifference.
He looked up, noticing her shock. "Good practice," he deadpanned.
Her face instantly flushed. He was mocking her – rather, the other her.
She slowly approached the desk, still feeling dazed and embarrassed. "I still c-can't believe..." he trailed off, staring down at the baby. "Shikamaru and Temari."
She didn't know when she had decided that it was safe to speak freely. She barely even noticed the significance of her actions.
"What's so hard to believe about it?" Gaara countered. Though he said it as frankly as he said everything else, there was heaviness behind his words that struck her for some reason.
Hinata looked down. Maybe her scrutiny was disrespectful. But it wasn't skepticism that fueled her contemplation. It was amazement.
She had known Shikamaru and Temari when they were twelve and fifteen, respectively. She felt as though she had missed everything between then and now. What of Kurenai? Where were Kiba and Shino now? And – Naruto?
Gaara was still – always – watching her. It was incredibly rude.
...it didn't help how flustered she was. Didn't help that she was distraught over missing out on thirteen years of Naruto.
...but Naruto was in Konoha...
And she hadn't missed out. She had chosen to leave.
Hinata inhaled. "Who am I?" The words slipped out before she could properly deliberate them.
It felt strange to say such a thing. The words sounded crazy once she heard herself breathe them.
She looked at Gaara who was momentarily caught off guard.
Hinata bit her mouth. Who was she in Suna? Who was she to Shikamaru, Temari, Kankuro – and to Gaara?
ANBU member?
Babysitter?
...family...member?
Stiffening slightly, Gaara glanced away. "You're…"
